Smartphone-wielding Obamaniacs trounce Romney in poll With the US presidential election less than four months away, it's high time for the opening of the Silly Season™ of polls and surveys – such as the one released by Velti, a mobile marketing and advertising firm, which claims that if only iPhone and Android-device owners could vote, Barack Obama would trounce Mitt Romney in a …
You have to choose between a economic illiterate lying narcissistic dirtbag whoring for That Country on the Mediterranean, promising more wars, expanding state and continuous national-sozialisation and kicking the can of serious problems down the road and a GOPer who wants to put Bolton into a position of responsibility.
In a normal world, their bodies would be discovered one morning having had regrettable accidents.
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The whole world is holding its collective breath, with the world economy teetering on the brink a Republican victory will condemn us to a crippling worldwide depression instead of a mild, recoverable one.
I personally think Obama will win, and I really, really hope that is the case, after what the last Republican regime did to the planet I'm genuinely worried by the prospect of Republicans even more extreme in full control.
If you think this is a "mild, recoverable depression" to start with then you've obviously not seen much in the way of news of late.
And, your touching faith in one political party over another rather ignores the fact that Republicans began the big time deficit spending malarkey, and the Democrats have merely followed suit. Just like in the UK, where a "change" of government has resulted in plenty of indignant whining about cuts, when in fact the current lot are spending more and borrowing more than their half witted predecessors. No matter who wins, the next US president faces a choice from the following menu:
1) Huge cuts in public spending, including "defence", healthcare, and entitlements to bring spending down to match tax revenues
2) Huge tax rises to raise revenues to meet the vast pork barrel expenditure plans
3) Print money like Zimbabwe and hope for the best
Recent history of both parties puts option 3 as the most likely. Even if you go for a compromise of all three, the challenge is that you need to do a lot of each that satisfies nobody.
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney today released this letter to the American people:
Dear American Person:
As many of you know, in recent days my opponent has spread the rumors that 1.) I have refused to make my tax returns public and 2.) I have hidden my money in bank accounts in Switzerland and the Caymans. These two rumors, while true, have made me look very bad. So I thought I would take this opportunity to explain my finances in terms even a poor person could understand.
Let’s say you met the love of your life, and you wrote her a series of passionate love letters. In these letters, you told her how you intended to protect her, cherish her, and always keep her safe. And then let’s say somebody went and told you that you had to make those love letters available for the world to see. If you’re even half the man I am, you’d say, “Heck no.”
Well, in my case, the love of my life is my money. (If you don't believe me, ask Ann.) And my tax returns are like my love letters to my money, detailing the lengths to which I’ll go to keep my precious money from being taken away from me. If you think I should make those love letters public, then I’m sorry, my friend, but you don’t believe in love.
Now, let’s say you asked the love of your life to marry you, and you’re fortunate enough that she said “yes.” Should someone be able to force you to spend your honeymoon in a ratty room at some Motel 6, where God knows what crackheads and whores slept before you? Or should you be allowed to take your bride to a five-star Swiss chateau, perhaps, or an exclusive beach on Grand Cayman? I think you can see where I’m going with this.
In conclusion: if refusing to release my tax returns and having foreign bank accounts is wrong, I don’t want to be right. I did it all for love. And as your President, I promise I will never, ever come between you and the thing you love. Unless you’re gay. (Laughing Out Loud.)
Vote for Me,
Mitt Romney
Of course, there'll be also-rans, with voting numbers in single digits {or decimal points, for that matter}.
But then again, if recent history is to be believed, the American electorate can barely be bothered to tell the difference between two candidates, let alone a dozen. Might as well flip a coin and be done with it.
Hm, I'm not sure the reasoning of "It's because mobile advertising works!" Is the true reason for these metrics, more likely that younger "cooler" people prefer Obama and are more likely to own smartphones, which is very clearly reflected in their figures for people past retirement age reversing the trend provided by the total figures.
Smells a lot like the data was prepared by a mobile ads company.
I want to see how the Nike vs Adidas numbers stack up, or whether owing a GM, rather than Ford, vehicle makes you more likely to vote Republican, statistically speaking.
But then, what about the Nation's most fractious split: Coke vs Pepsi. Will Pepsi drinkers swing to the GOP, and how will either candidate grasp the notoriously fickle Diet Coke demographic, especially with McDonalds eaters moving to the left on social issues compared to their Wendy's brethren.
As it is, General Mills breakfast eaters are leaning to the incumbent, but there has been a noted push for Romney among those who changed their breakfast cereal to a Kellog's product in the last three weeks. Perhaps "Shreddies vs. Mini Wheats" really is the Nation's new hot-button topic, and we wait and see what the candidates can do to appeal to both sides on this emotive issue.
Or.... could this just be someone at a polling company picking something that's already talked about far beyond its importance, and applying it to a field where it has no relevance just because they've got to have another ready-rolled article out on the wires by lunchtime. Hmmmm....
~2000 people "voted" ?
Where are they from? Who knew about the poll? Was it only the staff of some ad agency?
Polling such a microscopic list of people has zero value.
Now for those who think Obama can fix the US fiscal issues: you are truly morons.
Both parties have screwed up the fiscal policy royally lately. Quite frankly the last election was a wash. It didnt matter who got in because they were both going to radically expand government. This one? Not so sure. It might just take another 4 years of this crap before a vast majority of Americans kick the vast majority of those politicians to the curb. I hope not. Instead I hope for a landslide republican victory this fall. Quickly followed by very large level headed spending cuts. But I know I'll be disappointed. Because even if the Rs win, they'll spin the reasoning for it into whatever tale them want to tell.
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