back to article Welcome, friend, to Metroland

When I saw that my editor had written 'Metro isn't the problem: catapulting into Metro land (and back again) is', I said: 'There's an idea - I could do try out the Betj pastiche macro in my HTML editor'. And scurried out the door before anybody thought to stop me. Metroland Bright with non-translucent tiling, Pastel blobs …


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  1. A.A.Hamilton

    Re: 'A gruesome picture of my lunch'

    Rather overdoing the soy sauce, aren't you?

    Not a fititng reward for a most inventive piece - for which my profuse thanks.

  2. jake Silver badge

    02:12 here ...

    The main Whippet & I just did our nightly "security sweep" of the Ranch.

    All's well. Night-night, everyone :-)

  3. Dan 55 Silver badge

    "And, what's more, it offers Flash!"

    "Unless you're ARMed, in which case: tough luck."

    1. Daniel Harris 1

      Re: "And, what's more, it offers Flash!"

      I believe they have said that the Metro version of IE10 will now support flash (Which is the same version running on the ARM version).

      The browser is "Plugin Free" but I think they are embedding the Flash Support into the browser, and so it's technically not a plugin.

      So it will support Flash on both ARM devices and full-flavour Windows (The latter being the obvious choice for myself personally)

  4. frank ly

    Thank you for 'Metroland' Verity

    That was a lovely start to my week.

  5. weevil

    Am I the only one whose formatting appears up the wall on this article?

    I zoomed out for full effect.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Off the wall, maybe...

      The layout is in the style of a poem, an homage to Betjeman. Of course it would work better if it were centred.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      Never heard of concrete poetry?

  6. Spiracle

    In full on YouTube

    Betjeman's 1973 'Metroland' BBC docu.

    That's lunchtime sorted.

  7. Roger Greenwood

    Pieces of hair - 0

    is always a good result.

  8. ahfakopsdfi
    Thumb Up


    Just that ... excellent.

    More from the techno-literary interface please: first the opening chapter of the steampunk novel, now poetry ... let's show that technology and the arts can mix!

  9. Mark Allread

    What is this crap?

    I'm hoping this is a Turing example, I'd hate to think someone actually spent time on it.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: What is this crap?

      Don't you mean a Racter example?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    El Reg is probably the only tech site where such an "article" would be published...

    ...which is one of the reasons I check it out every day. :)

    1. Andrew Pike

      Re: El Reg is probably the only tech site where such an "article" would be published...

      Oh dear, instead of fanbois, we're now in danger of becoming luvvies too!

      Enough with the gushing - it's embarrassing. Normal cynicism has been resumed.

  11. Livinglegend

    I love the Met Office

    with their, 'Crucially, Met Office forecasts save lives' mass delusions of grandeur.

    I also notice that they are breaking the new cookie law as the cookie info is not 'prominent' on their pages, but tucked away in a bottom strip of other info. Won't do at all...(wonder what they are on, I need a dose of it to get over the rain and flooding that they didn't forecast.)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    quite a ropey indoor roller-coaster and a few other token rides.

    Back in the day it was a great place to have a smoke and a look at the orange folk of gateshead.

    Whats that? Oh, the wanky metro design thingy and not the metro centre in the north east. Shame!

    Still maybe the Metro centre could sue and build another wing

  13. Mike VandeVelde


    Am I the only one who vastly prefers Ctrl-Insert/Shift-Insert?

    1. Tom Maddox Silver badge

      Re: Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V


    2. Baudwalk

      Re: Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V


      1. Baudwalk

        Re: Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V

        Except for when I'm stuck with the notebook's crappy, built-in keyboard with its inaccessible insert and delete keys. Then Alt-W and Ctrl-Y are preferred.

    3. Aaron Em

      Re: Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V

      Probably; chording with your left hand frees up your right to operate arrow keys et cetera.

      (Emacs user here -- we know from chording; we have to. On that point, cua-mode is handy for someone whose reflexes grew up on Windows.)

  14. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance

    It's the Netherlands calling



    Yes this is the 20th century calling on behalf of Mr. Mondrian's lawyers?


    "Yes, he wants his shitty design back, with royalties, bitches!".

    "Hello? There seems to be a fault on the line..."

    Phone goes dead. Phone picks up. Dials discrete secret number.

    "Bill, Bill? Is that really you Bill?. Ok. Er, we are not fooling anybody. They have worked out that only a mad egocentric old fool like you could have cooked up as mad a plan as this (inbetween forcible vaccinations). Mondrian's lawyers called. They want their shitty design back. Er, I mean their very cool forward looking and futuristic design, back.

    Billybob hangs up. Shoots some more fricking sharks with laser beams.

    1. Aaron Em


      Somebody involved has got an eye -- as with Mies van der Rohe, a bad eye, but an eye nonetheless. Gates never showed the slightest sign of same; that was always one of the biggest differences between him and Mr. Jobs (RIP).

  15. jai

    the world's a better place

    with a bit of Verity and a cuppa tea.

    and congrats, is this the first time someone has successfully used Lorem Ipsum in prose?

  16. markw:

    Stands the clock at ten to three?

    Metro is booting, time for tea...

  17. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance

    I love it when

    You speak of thee.

    From thine mouth

    Such Poetry...

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: I love it when

      It's not poetry.

      It's free verse.

      See mine, above.

      Or, posted the way I intended:

      02:12 here ...

      The main Whippet & I

      just did our nightly "security sweep"

      of the Ranch.

      All's well.

      Night-night, everyone :-)

      Gifted, I am not ;-)

      (ElReg really needs to work on fixing the CR/LF/CRLF problem ... )

  18. Esteis

    Fie on you, Verity,

    for making the link test "Betj pastiche macro" instead of "Betj pastiche". I was really, really, hoping for that macro.

    Marvellous documentary, though, so no complaints in the end. Also, poetry gratefully receieved; I especially admire the way you sneaked the lorem ipsum in. Metro-Land's opening stanza is very catchy. And regarding to the conceit of transferring Cargoes to the realm of computers, this quote from "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency" comes to mind:

    “I would have thought it was quite obvious. Anyone could have thought of it.”

    “Ah,” said Dirk, “it is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry ‘I could have thought of that’ is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.”

  19. Concrete Gannet

    Genius. Thank you Verity

    Very few writers can bring cultural allusions and sophisticated humour to discussions on IT. There is a bigger world out there and Verity draws connections to it.

    Thanks Verity. We love you. I love you. Keep writing.

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