back to article TERROR in SEATTLE: Gang of violent LEPRECHAUNS on the loose

Seattle is expected to go into lockdown this weekend, as fears grow that a gang of rogue leprechauns is on the loose and attacking locals. Komonews.com reports that police were called to reports of a street fight last Saturday. When they arrived they saw a number of people run from the scene, before finding a man "covered in …

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  1. Code Monkey
    Windows

    "dancing with a girl"

    After their Lucky Charms more like.

    Don't fuck with leprechauns!

  2. I Am Spartacus
    Linux

    possibly holding up development on Windows 8.

    So, this is good, right?

    I don't think it was leprechauns, more likely penguins in disguise

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: possibly holding up development on Windows 8.

      A black suit with a white tank top? You might be on to something there!

      1. Titus Technophobe
        Thumb Up

        Re: possibly holding up development on Windows 8.

        Reading the story I immediately thought it will be a 'Press Gang' of Oompa-Loompas from the chocolate factory. But yes the white tank top ..... Marxist revolutionary penguin guerrilla snatch squads at work.

  3. irish donkey
    Pint

    Don't fuck with leprechauns...

    you won't be told twice.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Re: Don't fuck with leprechauns...

      ummm...you have :)

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Thomas 18
    Thumb Down

    Head wounds affect cognitive function

    who would have guessed.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Re: Head wounds affect cognitive function

      Unless it's an effin great spear of course

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      Re: Head wounds affect cognitive function

      Don't forget, it is the US after all.

  5. Wade Burchette Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Leprechauns have a sordid history

    We already know they told Ralph Wiggum to burn things.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHwnuQIPNF8

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dJznTAwLSY

    Now they are beating up innocent civilians! When will it end! Won't somebody think of the children!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Leprechauns have a sordid history

      Oh the humanity, think of the children sized adults...!

  6. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    MIssed one

    When their numbers dropped from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect Hungry.

  7. RainForestGuppy

    Crivens!!

    Gi'in te Bigjobs a kickin

    Sounds like te work of te Nac Mac Feegle, ye Daftie!!

  8. quartzie

    holding his head

    Anyone else thought of a (nearly) headless Nick?

    I was just wondering how on Earth could he still talk....

  9. E 2

    That is the weakest excuse for an IT angle in a Reg article yet!

    1. raving angry loony

      It involves copious amounts of drink by the author on a Friday. How much more I.T. do you want?

  10. raving angry loony

    "Friday". "Pub". "Huge tab".

    Are all that comes to mind when I read this story.

  11. Big Al
    Pint

    But...

    .... Were the leprechauns dancing around a Stonehenge model?

  12. Mick 2
    WTF?

    And If i feckin hear "Southern Ireland"...............

    or that the dopey yanks think that we all go round saying "top o' the mornin to yeah" or some such horsemuck....

    OR the clowns who think stonehenge is in Ireland, and that Ireland is still part of the UK...

    OR the morons who think that Ulster IS Northern Ireland.....

    AND that its LondonDerry not Derry City....

    I am going to start funding ET, Al Queda, The Pope, Ian Paisley, whoever it takes to wipe a whole continent clean and start with a cleaner genetic profile.

    And having spend a time in Southern Ca. "working/remunerted for my employment" you would be surprised at the stupid things people believe there, or to Quote the Edge from U2 "You know your strange when you stop finding L.A. strange"

    Well here's to the People's Republic of Cork!!

    www.proc.ie

    1. Paul 135
      Facepalm

      Re: And If i feckin hear "Southern Ireland"...............

      Fuck up you Irish Republican zealot - you are from Southern Ireland - Ireland is an island. Londonderry is the original and official name of the city. And Northern Ireland is modern Ulster.

      1. conel
        FAIL

        Re: And If i feckin hear "Southern Ireland"...............

        Mmm, couldn't be much more wrong if you tried. Southern Ireland is not an official name, it's Republic of Ireland if you want to be proper. The reason southern Ireland is an annoying name is the most northerly point and county on the Island is in the republic, so calling it the south is silly at best. Derry is the original name, London may have been added a few hundred years ago but Derry is still the original. And part of Ulster is in the republic/ south/ eire/ 26 counties, simply wishing it isn't doesn't make it so.

    2. J__M__M

      Re: And If i feckin hear "Southern Ireland"...............

      Did the thought ever occur to you that maybe we just don't give a shit?

    3. David Fetrow

      "Southern Ireland", Seattle

      Back at ya, Seattle is a significant distance from the Microsoft Redmond campus. Redmond is on the other side of a rather large lake from Seattle. Although, to be fair, Seattle is in the same county of the same state as Redmond. which isn't nearly as big a faux pas.

  13. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    They say people go crazy when the moon is full:

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/06/22/planet_pair_close_together/

    This was enough to drive them completely bonkers.

  14. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Coat

    Clearly just a marketing gimmick

    for "Leprechaun III: Restless in Seattle"

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Unless I'm missing something here...

    Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, and Dopey == dwarves != leprechauns

  16. Spoonsinger
    Pint

    This story does,

    come up a little short for Resister standards, (although it did make me chuckle - but beer was probably the culprit).

    1. Spoonsinger
      Happy

      Re: This story does,

      Before you comment - quite :-)

  17. volsano

    Hobbits?

    It is possible that the assailants were hobbits. During a street brawl that sort of misidentification is easy to make.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Eh?

    I am Irish and therefore congenitally thick, but could someone explain to me what the fuck this story has to do with IT anything ???

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