Rogue kebab provokes Carlisle post-pub car deathmatch

A Carlisle building labourer has been relieved of his driving licence for 27 months after a drunken kebab retrieval manoeuvre ended with him piling his car into a stationary vehicle. Colin Watson, 27, left the house he shares with his parents on 18 May, following a row with mum and dad. According to the Telegraph, he drove to …

[Peter Johnstone]

'The fate of the kebab is unknown.'

Glad I'm not drinking or that line would have cost me a keyboard!

Pint for obvious reasons.

[TakeTheSkyRoad]

The Kebab in the Telegraph acticle looks a bit posh for a post pub job.

More likely to be a donner I think lol

[DJ Smiley]

Why?

Why is this on el reg?

[Lester Haines]

Re: Why?

Yawn. Why are you on El Reg, pray tell?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Why?

You should know that of all people! He's on it because they publish any old shite here.

[Lester Haines]

Re: Re: Why?

It's true - sigh. Pub o'clock, methinks...

[Arctic fox]

Re: "Why is this on el reg?" El Reg very helpfully provide a clue for the hard of thinking.......

.........in the form of a category (you have heard of that concept no? It keeps things separate.) known as "Boot notes" which is El Reg-speak for amusing and entertaining off the wall news items that rarely if ever have anything to do with tech.

[raving angry loony]

Re: Why?

It's Lester. It's Friday. It's bootnotes. What, you need more of an excuse than that? Most of the rest of us don't. Just move on then you fun-hating corporate killjoy.

[Francis Boyle]

Re: Why?

Definitely IT - Ill-advised Transport.

[Francis Boyle]

Also

ICT - Ill-advised Carlisle Transport. Don't worry I'll stop now - I blame DARPA anyway.

[Ged T]

Why? Because...

...not everything that glitters in front of an IT professional has to be gold: Amber nectar-related stories are staple fare.

[Zombie Womble]

Re: Why? Because...

It's Friday so lighten up and have a pint,

[Keith Williams]

Re: Why? Because...

Glisters, not glitters.

[Dave 62]

Re: Why? Because...

Oh my god he like, totally misquoted the immortal hack!

If only Glister and glitter were synonyms and nobody gave a fuck anyway.

[Archibald Trumpetbeetle]

Shish!

Don't retrieve your doner

You might become a goner

[Steve Mann]

Bah!

The inference is clear: Kebabs cause traffic accidents. Best stick to fish'n'chips after a skinful.

[jai]

Re: Bah!

I believe the song suggests:

"Chips, cheese, curry makes you feel brand new /

Washed down with a Special Brew..."

but maybe that only applies in Newport?

[Miek]

I'm guessing the kebab was the I.T angle, non?

[Cameron Colley]

Could have been worse.

He could have walked to a friend's and posted racist comments on Twitter.

Remember kids: Drinking and driving costs lives: but it's preferable to being a twat on Twitter.

[sueme2]

Re: Could have been worse.

The IT angle could have been that he hit a BT cabinet? but there was another kebab?

[Kebabbert]

Weird.

Kebab? Who doesnt like Kebab?

[PhilipN]

Want the truth?

As a practising lawyer (hoping to get it right eventually) I can tell you the kebab part of the story as told to the court was bollocks. It was cooked up (err... yeah) by his brief to provide a marginally more innocent explanation than being too pissed to see straight. That would/could have been a suspended prison sentence because it's dangerous driving as well as DUI.

[Winkypop]

Where's the kebab?

There was supposed to be a stomach-shattering kebab!

[TRT]

But your driving license...

automatically enrolls you as a donner.

[fridaynightsmoke]

I need a donner,

donner,

a donner is what I NEEEED-

hey hey

[Tank boy]

The mighty doner...

I want updates on how the kebab fared! STAT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Who's Donna? and Why is she a kebab?

[Anthony Hegedus]

I always wanted to use that emoticon or whatever it's called these days

Maybe the IT angle that was omitted was that he used his iphone to find a kebab place. If he'd just walked he'd have found one, but he had to drive didn't he? Probably because he used some donerfinda app which didn't know about the nearest one, instead taking him a car ride away. Maybe he'll sue the developer.

[ukgnome]

Is that the most costly kebab known?

[wibble001]

Speaking of non-IT related shite on El Reg....

.....when was the last time we had a legitimate Paris Hilton related story!!!

<-- Obvious

[Alan Brown]

Lily livered judge

It's no wonder Britain has a drink-drive problem when a drunk driver doesn't face jailtime after crashing.

Compare and contrast with what would happen in Australia or New Zealand - both countries got fed up to the back teeth with drunks 35 years ago and started stomping _hard_ on the practice.

IT angle - none, except people shouldn't use social media while drunk either - but that merely causes embarrassment rather than physical damage.