back to article Germany reveals secret techie soldier unit, new cyberweapons

Germany has confirmed that its military maintains an operational cyberwarfare unit with offensive capabilities. The admission, which appeared in parliamentary documents published on Tuesday, gave no details of the size of the unit much less any operations that it might have run. However documents delivered to the German …


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  1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Danegeld Warriors ...... a Heaven Sent Few and Untouchables

    Any competent cyberwarfare unit with offensive capabilities will realise that governments are not in control of anything and they ...... the virtual command and control hierarchy of the competent cyberwarfare unit ..... are the force to be reckoned with and they can dictate whatever terms and conditions they would want?

    The important operative word in all of the above is .... competent, which would also mean elusive and anonymous ...... virtually invisible and intangible but definitely there to create mayhem and havoc if crossed and attacked.

    Softly softly ..... for there are no prisoners taken in cyberspace, and no second chances whenever one makes the wrong choice in support of a crooked system.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Danegeld Warriors ...... a Heaven Sent Few and Untouchables

      You are the Ultimate Warrior and I claim my vial of MoonBlood.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Danegeld Warriors ...... a Heaven Sent Few and Untouchables


  2. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    AI Fields in which IntelAIgents do not suffer Fools and their Blunt Tools

    And of course, there are those who cannot stop themselves from wanting to be wannabe leaders in alien environments ....... CyberWar Headless Chickens

    The sensible approach would be to throw money at those who know how to ensure that one can survive a barrage of inconvenient truths which would lay catastrophic waste to the spin which is pumped and dumped on humanity as the reality to be believed is true, rather than it be revealed by IT as just a manufactured fiction which would be specifically designed to try to conceal unpleasant undeniable facts which would never ever be accepted as in any way acceptable and equitable.

    Ergo is your present existence a virtual reality which is easily rebuilt by those who would be competent?

    I wonder who bats for Blighty in such Great Games?

    1. jm83

      Re: AI Fields in which IntelAIgents do not suffer Fools and their Blunt Tools

      Odd how some people find it harder to grasp that reality is a chaotic mess of forces vying for attention/power, than one massive conspiracy where every element of life is controlled by a mysterious yet all powerful force.

      1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Re: AI Fields in which IntelAIgents do not suffer Fools and their Blunt Tools

        Personally, I think my life is controlled by a chaotic mess of mysterious yet all powerful forces. Toast always fall buttered side down, until you try to demonstrate it to someone else. Hardware works just fine, right upon the moment it ought to convince your investors. Umbrellas are a powerful force agains rain, proven by teh fact that it will gush the moment you forget the thing. I mean, what more proof do you need?

  3. James Gosling

    I can here it now...

    "You sank my battleship!"

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon

      Re: I can here it now...


      1. Euripides Pants

        Re: Re: I can here it now...

        Right over hear.

        1. I think so I am?

          Re: I can here it now...


  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It' about time...

    ...that civilized countries understand that cyber warfare is as real as a heart attack. Being clueless or in denial isn't a good defense.

  5. Steve Evans

    Weird morals...

    "Legislators reportedly expressed surprise at the existence of the unit and questioned whether military commanders had the legal authority to launch attacks on foreign networks."

    So it's normal to research and plan for a war where you'd flatten a country with explosives, tanks and nukes if you so chose, but surprising and legally dubious that you'd consider interfering with their ability to post a facebook status update of "OH NOES! WE ARE BEING BOMBED!" ?

    These legislators must live in a strange little world.

    1. Mike Moyle

      Re: Weird morals...

      You're apparently confused because you're conflating two issues.

      1 -- "it's normal to research and plan for a war where you'd flatten a country with explosives, tanks and nukes," so that you are READY to fight that war when the civil authorities DECLARE war and ORDER you to fight it.

      2 -- It is NOT (or, at least, SHOULDN'T) be normal for a military to initiate offensive actions (physical or otherwise) against across national borders WITHOUT the civil authorities' declaration of a state of war.

      One is POTENTIAL action; one is ACTUAL. One places the military in a SUBORDINATE position to civil authority; one places it ABOVE civil authority. See the differences?

      The German army's new HYDRA corps (Sorry... That was my first thought when I saw the headline.) has been operational for 5 years and the civil authorities -- quite rightly, IMO -- want to know whether they have planned POTENTIAL action outside of Germany's borders or taken ACTUAL ones without civil authorization.

      1. Steve Evans

        Re: Weird morals...

        I agree with what you say, but there is no mention in the article that the cyber unit has even been used. Merely that they maintained an operational unit, in just the same way as they maintain an operational army, bombers and artillery. The article states that there are no details on any operations it may have carried out, i.e. "none" is a possibility.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To visualize the secret techie soldier unit

    just search for Liz Viscious inserts usb dildoe OMG!!!

    In all seriousness, the way to fight back is with "security screws" and old steel cased hardware running obscure OS's and most everything on ANALOG TAPE. lol

    1. johnwerneken
      Thumb Up

      Re: To visualize the secret techie soldier unit

      true. lots of punched paper tape too.

  7. Rockyroadtopoland

    Tis a job for....

    Kim dotcom, that loveable, morbidly obese, modern warfare 3 legend, and uultimate German cyber killing machine.

    He would look terrific in a cape.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It was obvious they had one.

    Because that's just what we'd expect them to do.

  9. Local Group

    This clearly is post Goebbelsian propaganda

    designed to discombobulate Germany's detractors, who didn't have the faintest idea this iteration of the Reich even had an army.

    Found in the Yellow Pages of the Almanaca de Gotha under Wehrmachts.

    If you need a half dozen Unterseeboote with nuclear cruise missile capability, factory installed, no questions asked, ring us up.

  10. Allan George Dyer

    "The initial capacity to operate in hostile networks has been achieved,"

    Congratulations on connecting to the internet!

  11. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    A Slippery Phish ....... for Great White Hatted Shark Hunter Killers ...... and Ultimate Thrillers?

    "Ergo is your present existence a virtual reality which is easily rebuilt by those who would be competent?

    I wonder who bats for Blighty in such Great Games?" …… Posted Friday 8th June 2012 13:27 GMT amanfromMars 1

    That was, and is, a real and valid question, El Reg[ers]. And the response to it tells anyone and everyone more than competent in the field, that there is zero serious competition and no effective opposition to such virtual terrain team leaders……. AIMissionaries …… SMARTR Pioneers ….. call them/IT whatever you will in such AIdDisciplines .

    And even more disturbing and certainly dangerous for those touted, supposedly all seeing, all knowing global surveillance systems and spooky services listening station, .... which are assumed and pimped to be arms of intelligence supply to governments/renegade administrations/rebellious insurrections/arab springs and all of those sort of engagingly rogue and in vogue things ..... not a peep or competent tweet either.

    Some might say that such silence is not an indication of a catastrophic intelligence gap in their defences and clandestine attack arsenals, suggesting by why of excuse and explanation, that such "keeping of one's powder dry" is the very clever nature of the beast and that they would have all of the necessaries under stealthy and secretive security measures cover and would already have deployed highly active, clandestinely deployed programs/pogroms/projects to guarantee leading power possession with a competent Virtual Command's remote invisible control of future stage events.

    Although to seriously consider that being true, in the full knowledge of all currently active, live stage worldly events built upon recent past crash performances and likely future consequences of their continuing shenanigans, surely proves that the silence is not a clever ploy indicating competence and intelligence lead in the field and the opposite would be both the actual and virtual realities.

    And whenever that is true and honest, and there is a most definite and catastrophic intelligence gap in virtual defences and clandestine attack arsenals, is that a truly golden, diamond opportunity for …… well, Suppliers of Competences for Command and Control of Cyber Terrain Fields and Cyber Terrain Teams fielding ITs SMARTRWareFare.

    [GCHQ Quantum Communication Control Systems BetaTest #120611XSSXXXX]

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