back to article Vatican in pact with Microsoft to initiate world's youths into Office

The Vatican has blessed Microsoft's cloud apps strategy in the shape of deal that could see Office 365 being rolled out to 43 million Catholic students worldwide. The secretive and highly conservative organisation, condemned by some as the Anti-Christ, will initially provide the software suite to 4.5 million students via the …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Armando 123

    Oh good

    Because the Catholic Church has such a great record with doing what's best for children. And I say this as someone who grew up in a Catholic household.

    1. Crisp

      Re: Oh good

      The Catholic Church is always thinking of the children!

  2. KjetilS

    Ambigous paragraph

    "The secretive and highly conservative organisation, condemned by some as the Anti-Christ, will initially provide the software suite to 4.5 million students via the Catholic International Education Office (OIEC) under the three-year agreement."

    Not sure if this is Microsoft or the Vatican

    1. g e

      Re: Ambigous paragraph

      The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled off...

      Was to head up the Catholic Church.

      Where's Kevin Spacey when you need him!

    2. Steve Button
      Thumb Down

      Re: Ambigous paragraph

      Yeah, that was the point you Muppet.

    3. Martijn Otto

      Re: Ambigous paragraph

      I wonder why the post has the joke alert icon.

  3. g e

    Quick! Phone Dan Brown!

    I thank you....

  4. dogged

    "An innovative and forward-thinking Catholic organization" - sorry, oxymoron there.

    1. Armando 123

      Not if you look at it in that "doesn't sweat much for a fat chick" light.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Get it right

        The quote is:

        "You don't sweat much, for a fat lass, and I hear you've a rich Mum ad Dad,

        and in the dark ..."

    2. Asgard

      Also "Catholic education" is another oxymoron. I find it so paradoxical that I consider it blatant deceit, which is ultimately at the core of all religions but the follows have been taught to defend their right to be deceived with such zeal that they cannot stop to learn they are wrong, so they never learn to see they are being deceived, which is exactly what the leaders of the cults want and so their stone age propaganda perpetuates.

      By refusing to hear they are wrong and being taught to look away whenever anyone tells them they are wrong, then how can they truely ever learn they are wrong and so its no wonder they carry on believing they are right. Yet that is exactly what their leaders want, to maintain their position as leaders. Its also why religions talk of love, yet fail to show love by following their leaders wishes to inflict such vile contempt on anyone or any group who their leaders don't like. The cult leaders words are endless Machiavellian deceit.

      Society no longer needs cult leaders with their stone age propaganda and Machiavellian lies. Target the lies of the leaders and why they lie and the cults will die out because cults need followers to follow their leaders words.

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

        There's no such thing as catholic education, the correct term is "catholic indoctrination"

  5. g.marconi

    "Doing what is best" - how could that be? Unless this is a donation from MS it would be positively sinful to waste the contributions of the faithful when there is so much free and open-source software availble !

  6. frank ly

    Fom the book of Balmer

    And the children cried out to the Lord, saying,

    "Why must we suffer so, to be led as cattle and herded as sheep, fattened for the feast?"

    The Lord said unto them, "I gave you free will, for I love you."

    The children then said, "But we have no free will Lord, we must do as our parents and priests tell us."

    The Lord said, "As I love and care for you, then so have I given charge to your parents and your priests

    to care for and nurture you."

    The children looked at each other and then said to the Lord,

    "Do you actually know what happens down here, oh Lord?"

    The Lord coughed and said unto them, "I'm a bit busy and have to go elsewhere."

    The children wept.

  7. Jeebus

    Now association with the catholic church. Yeah, no thanks Microsoft, think I'll pirate everything from now on.

    1. Christian Berger

      It's not about the money

      Microsoft's influence on the world is not about the money. It's about making the world a worse place. People start to become contempt with absolutely horrible software which doesn't even have usable file formats. They work around this by using internal scripting languages.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ah 668

    The neighbour of the Beast

    1. Armando 123

      Re: ah 668

      My understanding that some recently-discovered older texts show that there was a translation error, that the number was really 616 ... which is the area code for Grand Rapids, MI.

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

        Re: ah 668

        Pity it's 616... because......

        ASCII code for B = 66

        ASCII code for I = 73

        ASCII code for L = 76

        ASCII code for L = 76

        ASCII code for G = 71

        ASCII code for A = 65

        ASCII code for T = 84

        ASCII code for E = 69

        ASCII code for S = 83

        Add them and you get 663, and add the 3 for bill gates the turd third

  9. David 66

    students or pupils?

    You're confusing me with the blurring of boundaries.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      I don't know you, but I'm pretty sure that if I met you i wouldn't think hey, you must be blurring of boundaries.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Apparently Microsofts BOB will run there Bank as well.


  11. Leo_yvelines

    Thou shall be doomed

    Thou who do not use Microsoft Office shall be doomed to Hell.

    1. hplasm Silver badge

      Re: Thou shall be doomed

      And those that do use it will be used to the experience..

  12. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    And a voice rose in the desert, claiming "Developers, Developers, Developers"

    Who is in charge over there? I think father Enoch Root needs to kick in some doors!

  13. Pookietoo

    So "innovative and forward-thinking"

    equals proprietary lock-in!?

  14. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Odd that they didn't choose another OS

    Infallible leader at the helm that fans think is God and opposition think is the anti-christ.

    Copied the core stuff from a much older version and added some pretty fluff on top.

    Users need to be approved to get in and then pay a tithe on everything

    Can be kicked out at any time for not meeting some detail of a rule that is arbitrarily changed by a secret committee

    Claims to be highly moral but relies on lots of poor people in 3rd world countries

    Seems like there is some corporate synergy there that is a better fit than MSFT ?

    1. Armando 123

      Re: Odd that they didn't choose another OS

      Neither Larry Ellison nor the IRS would cut them a deal.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Odd that they didn't choose another OS

        Eve tried it once and it resulted in a sh*tstorm for everyone.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Odd that they didn't choose another OS

      You're not AMFM by any chance ? If so you've been sadly missed. I'll stay as AC because your icon is no longer available - shame on you El Reg

  16. Anonymous Electronic Warfare

    First They Abuse Children Sexually they foist M$ Crapware unto them. Which requires a $800 PC just do edit a two-page document, due to superslow Javascript.

    I am sure Office365-Molester will have a Pope API to spy on all the vicitims.

    Kids, here is the free stuff, without Pope Snooping Function:

    Also, your computer will be free of Russian Mafia Molestation (i.e. viruses). Finally, you will save a lot of CO2 by using the Raspberry as compared to Wintel Bloat.

    1. M Gale

      Ah, the Raspberry.

      Sponsored by someone who thinks that second hand software either is or should be illegal.

      Nah, I'd rather not.

  17. Anonymous Coward

    "We will offer the most advanced technology, knowledge and skills"

    ... Wrong!

    And how is that priests are talking like marketing men these days?

    Oh right, of course... That is what they always have been.

    Just off for a visit to my sin consultant. It used to be called confession.

  18. Don Mitchell

    phone transcript

    "911. What's your emergency?"

    "Someone bought Microsoft Office instead of Open Office!"

    "Sir, this line is for real emergencies only."

  19. Martijn Otto

    I can't decide whom this deal makes look bad, is it Microsoft, for associating itself with the Vatican, or is it the Vatican, by associating themselves with Microsoft.

    Looks like a match made in hell!

  20. Wile E. Veteran

    I said good bye and now I know why

    I recently left the Catholic church after forty years and 26 years as an ordained deacon. Thank God I left!

    FreeBSD may have daemons but it isn't evil.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I said good bye and now I know why

      So you said goodbye before you knew why ?

  21. cincinnatikid

    Ignorant Haters

    Yes, the Catholic church has a conflicting past...what organization 2000 years old wouldn't? During this time it has done much good and has ADVANCED civilization, no question. I would argue going with Microsoft in general is a stupid move but.... What I don't understand is the hate against Christianity and the church. From what I figure it is the "cool" thing to some history and do some research and you will discover that Christianity is a Good thing. "One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself" pretty much sums it up. Anyways I'm just sick of the hate against my religion and wanted to vent..;)

    1. M Gale

      Re: Ignorant Haters

      There's nothing quite like religion to take all the credit away from good people in the name of a fairy tale. Anyway, asking the heretics and apostates here to read some history and do some research on religion of all subjects, really is opening yourself up to a can of ass-whup. I think I'll just sit back and watch the fireworks, myself.

      1. David Strum

        Re: Ignorant Haters

        God is exists – you dummy… He is just not a Catholic

    2. David Strum

      Re: Ignorant Haters

      This is the reward for all the Children abused?

      The abused children are not a centuries-old-past history thing. It’s still on going. If the Vatican is using this to show it loves children – think again! This is like giving little Johnny a lolly for a hard-night at vicars house! NOT ENOUGH THANK YOU!

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Same Old Story

    Decisions made in the Medieval Organization of the Church of Rome are a classic example of the exercise of pure positional authority. Expecting them to make any practical sense is a waste of time. Also -- This has nothing to do with the faith itself.

  23. J 3

    Makes sense...

    Well, aren't Catholics all big on penance and suffering for your sins (and your ancestors' too, go figure)? There you go, then...

  24. John Smith 19 Gold badge

    He who sups with the devill...

    Needs a very long spoon.

    The meal is just commencing.

  25. Charles Manning

    Is this really a good idea for MS?

    Since the kids ignore Catholic messages about pre-marital nookie, what's the chance they will listen about software choice?

  26. David Strum

    Microsoft has sinned

    I can tell Microsoft is really no longer a wonder-wall as it was when Bill was at the helm. This is a desperate move: born out of necessity to get those sales figures up. Microsoft is has grown up and has lost its Nerdy-innocence. Microsoft has sinned.

  27. Ascylto
    Big Brother


    Come on! What did you expect from an organisation which gave a papal knighthood to Rupert Mudroach?

  28. daveeff

    I read

    "given its highly centralised nature, strict hierarchy and tendency to clamp down on deviations from approved doctrine."

    & thought we were talking apple.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020