back to article Zuck weds self to lady friend in surprise ceremony

Moneybags Mark Zuckerberg updated his relationship status to "married" on Saturday - just one day after floating Facebook on Nasdaq. The 28-year-old billionaire founder of the social network tied the knot with long-term sweetheart Priscilla Chan, who Zuck met at Harvard and started dating in 2004. No hoodie at my nuptials …

COMMENTS

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  1. Mostly_Harmless Silver badge
    Coat

    As Mrs Merton might have put it...

    "So Priscilla, what attracted you to the ugly, geeky multi-millionaire Facebook brat?"

    1. Anomynous Coward

      Re: As Mrs Merton might have put it...

      Was he a millionaire in 2004?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As Mrs Merton might have put it...

      Ha!

      You might add, who f**ked over his only friend.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As Mrs Merton might have put it...

      I guess he's determined to stay in the closet.

  2. pcsupport

    No offence intended but isn't that a lady boy?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, Zuckerberg always looks like that.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        He has no neck.

        1. Mr Young
          Coffee/keyboard

          He has got some neck in the chicken photo I guess...

          but that's probably not the sort of neck you're talking about?

    2. NogginTheNog
      Coat

      No offence?

      I'm not sure how saying that a woman, and a guy's new wife, looks like a transexual can be anything other than offensive, shirley??

      Not that it isn't funny... :-D

    3. Cyberspice
      Unhappy

      That is offensive on so many levels. Its offensive to asian women, its offensive to trans women and its offensive to the hubby.

      1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        .. in other words, dangerously close to perfect as insults go - it offends everyone.

        Must write that one down somewhere..

        1. Anomynous Coward

          "in other words, dangerously close to perfect as insults go - it offends everyone."

          You favour a clusterbomb over a rapier?

          1. Euripides Pants

            clusterbomb vs. rapier

            Definitely clusterbomb - rapiers are too hard to detonate.

    4. Inachu
      Happy

      Errrrm...

      Funny how any white or almost white person is unable to tell if an asian is male or female.

      I once dated an asian lady in her 40's and she looked 22! I loved it!

  3. The BigYin
    Big Brother

    Don't understand

    Am I the only one who does not understand how Facebook could possibly be worth USD105bn? Seriously, I just don't get it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don't understand

      Same way Google is worth nearly 200 Billion?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don't understand

      Very unwise stock investment I'd say.

    3. ItsNotMe
      Megaphone

      Re: Don't understand

      "... how Facebook could possibly be worth USD105bn?"

      Well...its not...at its current price...it now "worth" about USD91bn...and falling.

      1. ItsNotMe
        FAIL

        Re: Don't understand

        *** UPDATE *** @ 1600 EDT - Farcebook Market Cap now @ USD72.7bn...and...well you know where it's going.

        Closed @ USD34.03...STILL dropping in "Extended Hours" trading...down to USD33.89

        What a shrewed investment.

        1. SYNTAX__ERROR
          Joke

          Re: Don't understand

          Well I think the investment is quite Moled. Or even Gerbilled.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bought Thai bride, bitch!

    (see title)

  5. Kev B

    I own part of you now B**** !!!! Get back to work

    Having invested in one share I would have expected a better work ethic for my investment TBH. Not Like.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good luck to him.

    Hope it works out.

    He is a seriously scruffy bugger though...

    1. frank ly
      Coat

      Re: Good luck to him.

      By this sneaky method, he made sure he was the best dressed man at the wedding :)

      (Mine's the grey morning coat with the top hat.)

      1. The First Dave
        Happy

        Re: Good luck to him.

        He isn't even the best dressed man in that photo...

        1. AdamWill

          Re: Good luck to him.

          Seriously. That thing could go into some kind of Worst Suit hall of fame. None of it fits, the tie is hideous, and his shirt isn't even done up properly. Out of all those squillions he couldn't spend a few measly thousand to retain a decent tailor?

          1. Michael Jennings

            Re: Good luck to him.

            Thank you. I thought I was the only one thinking that. I have to say she's wearing a rather nondescript frock, too, given that she is marrying someone worth tens of billions of dollars.

            Still, I wish them both happiness.

  7. g e
    Meh

    Wow.

    They both look ecstatically happy.

    Not.

  8. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Coat

    100 "stunned" peopled attended the nuptials

    Did he have to stun them in order to get them to attend?

    Sorry, couldn't resist

    1. disgruntled yank Silver badge

      Re: 100 "stunned" peopled attended the nuptials

      No, just to get them to match the groom's level of expressiveness.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: 100 "stunned" peopled attended the nuptials

      No, as soon as the guest list fell below 38 the investors stepped in to buy up the places...

      1. moonface

        Re: 100 "stunned" peopled attended the nuptials

        I am wondering whether Zuckerberg also thought he was going home to celebrate Chan's medical school graduation, only to end up being pounced upon Cato Fong style, by his good lady dressed in her wdding dress.

        Surely, if he had known he was going to his own wedding, he would have hired a better suit down Mosss Brothers or something.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    lololo

    it'll never last

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Great idea

    After the 9 months of grief pre wedding, all in favour of this method. Saves a tremendous amount of to-ing and fro-ing with in-laws to be, things get done your way :-)

    Good luck Mark

    1. sandman

      Re: Great idea

      Oh God yes - just going through a build up to a wedding that could have been scripted by Cecil B DeMille - his way is soooo much better

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Great idea

      "Good luck Mark"

      Do you know the guy then?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Great idea

        Err, no. But I'm not wearing a suit, so I shall be as informal as I like :-)

  11. Neil 8

    A good question is asked over at the BBC:

    "But, hey Mark, why did you not do what you tell the rest of us to do, and share your plans with your Facebook friends a few months ago?" - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-18142566

  12. Andrew Moore

    But...

    ...she better divorce him pretty sharpish while her 'half' is still worth something.

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: But...

      too late.

  13. TRT Silver badge

    Oh jeez... I guess he's changing his name to Chan then, rather than lumbering her with the tongue numbing Priscilla Zuckerberg?

    1. amanfromearth

      Tongue numbing?

      I assume you "know" the lady then..

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I seem to recall Adolf Hitler got married in the hours before his empire crumbled around him....

    1. Kane Silver badge
      Joke

      Godwin's Law

      See title

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh why didn't he take that photo with Instagram?

    Remember Zuck rule number one is don't shit on your own doorstep....

  16. Richard Rae

    black tie

    to his own wedding.....

  17. Jamie Kitson

    He looks so....

    ...erm, happy?

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: He looks so....erm, happy

      They are probably aware that this shot is the one that will be released for the press and therefore will be the one that has several billion smart arse remarks made about it.

      How would you feel? In the circumstances, they look almost orgasmic.

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

  19. N2

    As they dont mind sharing their privates...

    Did they have a camera linked from their bridal suite?

  20. Miaau

    On a more serious note

    They probably invited the friends and family down for the wedding but did not want to be saddled with toasters and blankets, so removed the need for the guests to worry about that. Very thoughtful of them, what do "ordinary" people, money wise, get as gifts for such people?

    On a side note, marked this down for when I float my firm (that does not exist) and then get married the next day (my wife might just kill me). Suprise ceremony, good idea.

  21. Toshiro
    Thumb Down

    Stop the malice..

    Wow! You guys are mean!

    Cut it out... Not cool!

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No matter what happens to the stock

    It looks like his money worries are over if he's smart enough, getting married is probably wise right now time wise, good luck to them, not an easy time for anyone in Western economies at the moment, at least he's made something of himself rather than just turning up to work your average job every day

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: No matter what happens to the stock

      Yep - always a good idea to marry a doctor

  23. IGnatius T Foobar
    Megaphone

    f**kerburg

    Whenever I see f**kerburg's face I want to remove that obnoxious smile from his face with a baseball bat.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      .. which would be a terrible waste. Of a baseball bat.

  24. asdf
    Joke

    which goes to show

    Nothing invented by man is as powerful an aphrodisiac as being the CEO of a $100+ billion IPO.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: which goes to show

      Nothing invented by man is as powerful an aphrodisiac as being the CEO of a $90 billion (and falling) IPO.

      There...fixed it for you.

    2. asdf
      FAIL

      Re: which goes to show

      Who cares Zuck already got paid. Granted he is losing money with stock he has left but he ain't hurting.

  25. The Alpha Klutz
    Mushroom

    SHE IS ALREADY PRACTISING HER FROWN FACE

    now in accordance with marital policy Zuck will have his dick and balls shrink wrapped.

  26. Peter Simpson 1

    Why

    ...do they have a wire with lights on it going through their heads? Is this some new kind of Facebook thing?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    following in the footsteps of

    Rupert Murdoch. If your offspring will speak Mandarin etc you set your family dynasty up quite nicely for the future. I'm sure that never occured to this particular member of the chosen people of Israel. Just a happy coincidence - I wish them well

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And how many likes did he get

    Compared to how many people in the Facebook system?

    Thought so!

    And what up with Chan's look, it's not happy, is it smug I gotz da money beyatches! Or sniggering at the other women in the world?

  29. cyberdemon Silver badge
    Devil

    I wouldn't like to be negotiating THAT prenup!

    Actually scratch that, I'd love to be.

    Kerching.

  30. Local Group
    Trollface

    BIG DUMB GUY WAS AT THE WEDDING

    DISNEYLAND TODAY THEN BACK TO EL REG

  31. Cheshire Cat
    Go

    Clever

    A good way to avoid a media scrum and annoying paparazzi. He's managed to get a quiet romantic wedding after all. Had the media known, he'd have been deluged by unpleasant reporters...

    Also clever of her - had the sale of FB not generated sufficient $, she could have lef thim at the altar! (Just kidding, Im sure she loves him for his wonderful personality...)

  32. Allison Park

    well at least she had a $4K gown

    Looks like Mark bought his suit at K-Mart. I have an order in for FB stock. When it hits $13 I am buying a thousand shares.

  33. Local Group
    Happy

    Now that all the mean, hurtful comments have been posted,

    anybody want to chip in for a blender or a badminton set?

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