back to article Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Mealy pudding v migas

Following a long winter hibernation burning the fat reserves gained from a generous serving of Dutch delicacy kapsalon, our Special Projects Bureau post-pub nosh team has emerged blinking into the spring sunshine to bring you a further selection of quality international cuisine designed to soak up the excesses of a night on the …


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  1. Anomalous Cowturd

    Wot! No beanz?

    Brekkie just isn't the same without a splodge of over-cooked baked beans.

    And that bacon looks more like a gammon steak.

    And "those" aren't proper sausages.

    And where's the mushrooms?


    Fuck it. I'm starving now... Reaches for frying pan...

    1. Ian Ferguson
      Thumb Up

      Re: Wot! No beanz?

      Beans might be a good contender for a future Special Projects Bureau breakfast-off?

      I have endless arguments with my American girlfriend about the merits of good old English baked beans versus the whole host of different Mexican beans.

      One thing we can agree on - beans themselves are much too bloody healthy and should be accompanied by as much unhealthy assorted fatty meats as possible to counteract this travesty.

      English - baked beans, preferably Heinz, presented with bacon/egg/black pudding/etc.

      Mexican - breakfast tortilla with plenty of assorted beans. I'd have to consult my girlfriend on the proper types of beans to use in this case as apparently we just don't have the taste or linguistics here to describe the full range of varieties.

      Also possibly the American breakfast of chicken fried steak and hash; and I'm sure your Spanish friends have strong ideas on beans as well.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Wot! No beanz?

        "English - baked beans, preferably Heinz"

        Bluuuurgh!! Foul!

      2. Neil 23

        Re: Wot! No beanz?

        Southwest Eggs Benedict is my favourite American breakfast.

        Loads of differnt regional versions but I prefer 2 poached eggs, 2 corn pancakes & 2 steaks smothered in a creamy chipotle hollandaise, with potato wedges on the side. Great hangover cure.

        1. Thomas 4

          Re: Wot! No beanz?

          Screw the beans, where's the damn hash browns? You have an article dedicated to cooking things mortal frying pans were not designed to cope with and then you show us a breakfast with no hash browns?

          Epic Fail, senor.

          1. Piro Silver badge

            Re: Wot! No beanz?

            I agree on the hash browns front, but more critically, that looks like toast. To make it right it would need to be fried bread!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wot! No beanz?

      >And "those" aren't proper sausages.

      I've said it before and I'll say it again, the English just won't eat proper sausages made with meat, me I prefer criollo sausages made from iberico pork.

  2. EddieD

    Au contraire...

    That bacon looks like a hand cut slice of home cured, the sausages look like butcher's sausages... Okay, the lack of beans and mushrooms is possibly criminal, but overall it looks set to make a heart surgeon gibber, so it's a good breakfast...

    Damn, now /I'm/ hungry too...

    Ah well, farmers' market tomorrow, and a potentially lethal cholesterol Smörgåsbord will follow...

  3. EddieD


    You're not really comparing like with like - the migas is a complete meal, the mealing puddin' just an ingredient, so it should be migas vs the full cooked <english/irish/scottish> breakfast.

    I'll volunteer for that cook-off, but I may need several helpings to decide.

  4. slith
    Thumb Down

    Your cluelessness is adorable. Migas forever :D

  5. JDX Gold badge

    That migas hardly looks like something to knock up when you've come back after closing time.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Post pub mealie?

    Fuck that.

    The traditional Scots meal on the stagger home is 'Stovies' usually purchased from a pie shop (which tend to stay open throughout the weekend).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Post pub mealie?

      Stovies? From a pie shop? What desolate corner of Scotland is this that the deep-fat fryer hasn't reached yet?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Post pub mealie?

        In the desolate area of Aberdeen most chippers shut before chucking out time (or shortly afterwards and are mobbed).

        The pie shop is open all weekend.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Two things

    1.) Migas is not a foodstuff, filling holes in the road, laying foundations fine but never to be eaten.

    2.) The only good use for stale bread is to make torrijas

    1. Muscleguy Silver badge

      Re: Two things

      No. You have forgotten that stale bread can, and should, be used to make bread pudding. A quantity of cold tea is also required and sugar and raisins/sultanas as well (to add a Spanish element). Lovely filling stuff, will stick to your ribs nicely too.

      I have to remember it fondly though as being now gluten intolerant means I can no longer eat it. GD bread is not suitable, ends up a soggy mess instead of something delightful.

      Then there is the one where you cook the slices of stale bread in egg custard with sultanas. My mother would do it with a meringue topping and we called in Queen's pudding. Some adulterate it with jam between the slices but there's no accounting for taste.

      And of course stale bread can be made into breadcrumbs which have a multitude of uses.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward


        I'll have to fail your fail because torrijas are essentially individual bread puddings.

      2. albaleo

        Re: Two things

        Muscleguy, will you marry me?

  8. Tom7


    A post-lager calorie fest... that has to be boiled for three hours. Hmmm.

  9. Craig McGill 1

    Get it right!

    Glaswegians have long preferred square sausages and the white pudding that you mention is more a delicacy of the East and Dundee, not Glasgow.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Get it right!

      I stand corrected.

    2. Haviland

      Re: Get it right!

      My grandmother used to send us food packages of mealie puddings from Tayport when I was a lad.

      Served on their own, just a bit of butter to add to the overall unhealthiness.


      Dammit, now I'm peckish as well.

    3. Trevor Marron

      Re: Get it right!

      I am from Perth and would confirm that, I have had many mealy puddings, but NEVER for breakfast. No in Perth we are too posh for that, we have fruit pudding for breakfast!

  10. Ken 16 Silver badge
    IT Angle

    first car reviews, now cookery?

    What's next, fashion?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: first car reviews, now cookery?

      Yes. We'll be presenting our SPB Spring-Summer 2012 collection next week. I'll send you one of our dresses, if you fancy giving it a whirl.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "...and boiled to within an inch.... "

    ERRRM! Excuse me that should be:

    "....and boiled to within 25.4mm....."!

  12. MJI Silver badge

    All looks yuk

    I don't like fried foods that much at all. Nor preserved meats, nor baked beens, nor eggs,

    YEARS ago while still young, my parents stopped at a roadside cafe (perhap a little chef anyway that sort of thing) around 8 in the morning, they both had fry ups for breakfast.

    I always have a bowl of cereal for breakfast, but here I went for.

    Burger & chips - For breakfast

    Anyway a proper Cornish pasty beats either of these two meals.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Ravioli vs. Pierogi (vs. Faggots?)

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Deathmatch

      I like the look of pierogi. I'll add it to the list.

  14. disgruntled yank

    Admitting defeat

    I have to say that these make the "Denver" (out west) or "Western" omelet look like health food. Even the southern fatback with grits seems wimpy, or ham & biscuits with ham gravy don't measure up to these cardiologist's nightmares.

  15. Billy 8

    White pudding uses...

    Innuendo's aside... I discovered recently that slicing a white pudding, frying it in a little butter 'till the golden brown - then stirring said sausage through the start of a beef bolognese makes for a very, very lush final result.

  16. Edwin

    Mexican deathmatch

    Green chili and cheese omelette vs. huevos rancheros with chili con carne

    Flames, because only tremendous amounts of chili, salt and grease can overcome a proper hangover.

    1. Muscleguy Silver badge

      Re: Mexican deathmatch

      I realise this is a niche activity but I've always found getting up and going for a run cures a hangover. Mind you this is after the Scottish precaution of necking as much water as you can hold before retiring to bed. One effect is to wake you early enough and get you out of bed anyway so you may as well go for a run. Length depends on age and fitness. Time was I swore by 9miles as doing the business but the other week I could only manage 5 after a day spent drinking while watching the rugby 7's followed by wines with dinner.

      Must do better.

      I think it works partly because it deals with headache nicely probably through the blood being required in your muscles not pounding around your temples and partly because your body lacking breakfast (I really meant first thing) turns to the alcohol and metabolites as urgently needed fuel. The raised post run metabolism deals with the remainder. You can substitute an endurance exercise of your choice though. A weights session might work but I expect that might make your headache worse, not better.

      It also has the advantage that you can tuck into a fry up for breaky afterwards with a clear conscience.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Vincent Ballard

      Re: Mexican deathmatch

      Unfortunately, if the guinea pigs are Spanish, you'll have to leave out most of the chilli.

    3. ian 22

      Re: Mexican deathmatch

      Oralè cabròn. Now you're talking! Spanish food is sadly lacking in flavor, and that essential ingredient, CHILE! Sorry escoses, but Scottish cooking doesn't even qualify as food to my taste buds.

      Suet is essential to refried beans and to flour tortillas, but otherwise not necessary. Likewise I suspect Spanish (I.e. Gachupin) chorizo is not up to my standards for flavor. Breakfast burritos forever! Washed down with either Modelo or Cuautemoc cerveza!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mexican deathmatch

        Mierda de pendejo, Spanish food is excellent but due to your abusing of chile your mouth is now like an arse and has no sensitivity. If there's something that has no taste is Mexican beer.

        1. ian 22

          @Anon 1434GMT: Tu padre!

          Palabras necias menso. Your foolish words betray your ignorance. Chiles are of many varieties and some are mild enough for your pallid palate, but it is fiery food for a fierce people and perhaps not for you.

          Mexican beer is of the best, but it is true that in the early days of beer in cans in Mexico, beer would rust the interior of the can imparting an undesired taste. To eliminate that taste, a bit of lime was added to the beer beginning a drinking tradition still practiced in Mexico.

  17. Mr Young


    Lets hope the scottish government doesn't slap a minimum price on internet food photos eh?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You don't fool me!

    the waitress with the pipe is Sarah Bee moonlighting!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You clearly haven't had enough to drink!

    If you can manage to stagger around the kitchen preparing food and not amputating appendages long enough to cook this, you haven't had enough to drink.

    All I can manage on the way home from the pub is a kebab and a minicab. Thankfully they're adjacent premises.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You clearly haven't had enough to drink!

      "All I can manage on the way home from the pub is a kebab and a minicab."

      I'd have thought a kebab was filling enough on its own without having to eat a minicab as well.

      The minicab is probably healthier and lower in calories too.

    2. Kubla Cant

      Re: You clearly haven't had enough to drink!

      "All I can manage on the way home from the pub is a kebab and a minicab."

      I like minicabs, but I don't think I could eat a whole one, no matter how much I've had to drink.

  20. Homer 1

    Where's the batter?

    You haven't really tried mealie pudding until you've had it deep-fried in batter and served with chips. Don't forget the salt, vinegar, pickled egg and a dollop of sauce. Salad cream works surprisingly well. Any chippie north of Montrose should do, although the closer to Aberdeen you get the better.

    Typically the only other way we eat it (in NE Scotland) is as an accompaniment to mince and tatties, although skirlie is more common - the main difference being that skirlie is prepared entirely in a skillet, usually fried with dripping and no suet, whereas mealie pudding is boiled, and always contains suet.

    To further confuse matters, the Irish have an entirely different sort of "white pudding" that is basically pork sausages with a higher than normal proportion of rusk - essentially pork is just a minor ingredient.

  21. Magnus_Pym

    Where the fried bread?

    Fried in beef dripping, now there's a healthy addition to any meal.

    1. Corinne

      Re: Where the fried bread?

      Even better, cut a square in the middle of the (very thickly sliced) bread before putting it into the pan then crack an egg into the hole this leaves. Don't forget to fry the left over square of bread too though! My preference is to do this in butter rather than dripping.

  22. Michael H.F. Wilkinson

    Deep-fried pizza, anyone?

    I have heard of this mythical beast, apparently hailing from Bonnie Scotland as well, but, much the cardiologist's delight, never encountered it in the wild. Should this not be researched?

    1. Gordon Stewart
      Thumb Down

      Re: Deep-fried pizza, anyone?

      Gah, I hail from the North, and can confirm these abominations exist, and can be found in many a chipper!

      As if it needed confirming, I can confirm that they really are as vile as the sound. They are normally the '10 for a £1' out of Iceland variety, and taste of cardboard made soggy with ungodly quantities of grease.

    2. Homer 1

      Re: Deep-fried pizza, anyone?

      I've never seen that particular "delicacy" outside of Edinburgh, and I hope to never see it again. In fact my one and only encounter with it was an accident.

      I was a skint student looking for a cheap meal, and the chippie down the street had two separate menus: one for regular chippie fare, and one for pizzas. The pizza menu was well outside my pathetic budget, but for some reason (I didn't understand at the time) they also had the single entry for "Pizza" on the chippie menu ... just £1! Like a mug I ordered it, then watched in horror as they took a slice of pizza dough, spread it with tomato paste from a tube, covered it in grated cheddar cheese (eugh!), folded it in half, then deep fried it.

      I was too shocked to say anything, and just took it like Oliver Twist meekly clutching a bowl of gruel, then walked out, still gawking. Just the smell was awful, but the one bite I took nearly killed me.

      I stuck to peanut butter toasties after that. It was a big thing in Edinburgh. They say the second most prevalent smell in Auld Reekie, after the infamous hops cloud, is the lingering smell of peanut butter.

  23. John A Blackley

    Mexican migas

    Substitute tortilla chips for stale bread, add eggs and do away with most of the vegetation.

    Now that's drunk food.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And people take issue with US food

    Reading this article, I find it amazing people criticize US food choices!

    But again: I dare any Reg Hack to come over to the US - preferably the nominal South-east area - and try a proper Waffle House All-The-Way.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: And people take issue with US food

      Our arteries are up to the challenge. The next time we're Stateside, it's a date.

  25. Blofeld's Cat

    Cordon Bennett...

    May I humbly suggest the Bauernfrühstück (farmer's breakfast) available in less reputable parts of Germany. This is essentially a large (6 eggs) omelette filled with fried potato, various high-fat sausage slices and assorted vegetables, which has the advantage of adding high cholesterol to the saturated fat.

    Something from the sweet trolley?

    I recommend the traditional suet and jam roly-poly pudding, with custard and golden syrup.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Cordon Bennett...

      Duly added to the deathmatch list.

  26. Anonymous Coward

    Pork Gyros (wrapped)

    Nothing like it. Except maybe all the components served on a platter. No, wrap it has to be. Chicken is great, but pork (laced with paprika and rigani) is awesome.

  27. DrDr

    Next deathmatch?

    Black pudding vs Morcilla de Burgos?

    Baked beans on toast vs Fabada Asturiana (with the obligatory cider...)?

  28. Nick Pettefar

    Full Irish

    Our works canteen, here in Co. Dublin, serves the Full Irish every morning with black and white pudding. People either have that or a scone. Funny.

  29. Nick Rutland

    But don't forget ..

    ... quoted in a book about Madison Avenue advertising, a slogan sadly never used:

    " If it isn't Wolfschmidt vodka, it isn't breakfast ..."

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