US dope farmer in Walmart rattlesnake chomp shock

A Walmart customer required the urgent administration of "six bags of anti-venom" after a rattlesnake sank its fangs into him at a Washington state tentacle of the retail monolith. Mica Craig, 47, was in the store in Clarkston, innocently shopping for some mulch with which to nourish his cannabis plants, which he's "licensed …

[Schultz]

Good thing...

he has the pain medication waiting at home.

[Gobhicks]

You better stay away from Copperhead Road

Just a pity that a copperhead is a viper and not a rattler...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

Rattlesnakes are a member of the viper family

[Gobhicks]

Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

I had a feeling that would come back to bite me. Must do more research.

[HFoster]

Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

"I had a feeling that would come back to bite me..."

*rimshot*

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

As are Vindscreens...

[Armando 123]

Not quite

Apparently it was just a member of the management team that tries to offshore their suppliers' manufacturing. Odd it being in Washington state.

[Tom 7]

Church of Mamon?

Dont they just do this for fun on a Sunday over there?

[HFoster]

Re: Church of Mamon?

I think that's way, way, waaay deep in the South. In Uncle-Daddy and Aunty-Momma country.

[asdf]

copy editor fail

Usually El Reg has some of the funniest by lines (sub titles or whatever they are called) on the web but not this article. A horrible tongue twister run on that makes no sense. Fail.

[asdf]

Re: copy editor fail

Chomp Shock really? Those two words go together like a turd in a punchbowl.

[Peter Fox]

Re: copy editor fail

And somebody typed 'monolith' when they meant 'behemoth'.

[Lester Haines]

Re: Re: copy editor fail

Er no, I certainly meant monolith. As regards the "turd in a punchbowl", though, nothing to do with me guv.

[frank ly]

@Peter Fox Re: copy editor fail

WalMart is a monolithic behemoth. (I've been looking in one of those dictionary things).

[Anonymous Coward]

Intravenous substances?

[Anonymous Coward]

Title issue

Doped farmer hopped for a dopper topper mulcher , rather got rattled by a rattler and got doped on anti venom drops.

Now that sounds better.

[asdf]

Re: Title issue

Wow ok it could have been far worse lol.

[Turtle]

"At this point, it appears to be an isolated incident."

No free snakebite for every customer?

Drat.

[Code Monkey]

Targetting the goth market then.

[John A Blackley]

Not unusual

I've seen some 'greeters' at Walmart that looked as if they'd do the same thing as the snake.

[Andy Christ]

If You're a Viper

Dream about a reefer five feet long

A mighty immense but not to strong

You'll be high, but not for long

If you're a viper

I'm the king if everything

Well I gotta be high before I can sing

Light a tee and let it be

If you're a viper

Now when your throat get dry

And you know you're high

Everything is dandy

Truck on down to your candy store

Get you kicks off peppermint candy

Then you'll know your bodies set

You don't give a damn about payin' no rent

The sky is high and so am I

Whoa ho, if you's a viper

[Anonymous Coward]

What a pity

Bet this made his day.

[Dick Emery]

IT angle?

Trying to find the IT angle here and failing.

[Lester Haines]

Re: IT angle?

Oh dear.

[Captain DaFt]

Re: IT angle?

Almost got it... It's "ODFO".

(Honestly, didn't the moderatrix give you guys a checklist when she left?)

[Montreal Sean]

Re: IT angle?

Well obviously it's because the rattler bit the guy's hand...

The Reg. Biting the hand...

[LaeMing]

I have had it with these goddamn snakes in this goddamn Walmart!

[Tankboy]

Snakes at the Walmart. Why hasn't Hollywood thought of this?

[LaeMing]

Because everyone would be rooting for the snakes?

[Anonymous Coward]

if I was

licensed to grow cannabis, I'd be soooo happy.

The Swiss have the right idea.

[Anonymous Coward]

Heck, when I was growing Cannabis, I recall my kitchen became infested with flying snakes who would sing show tunes and wouldn't leave until I covered my head with butter.

[Trokair 1]

My Thanks

Thank you for making my day. Needed that laugh.

[Winkypop]

"At this point, it appears to be an isolated incident."

Oh, except for that mountain lion we had in the BBQ section once.

[MrZoolook]

Butter on head!

I once told a by a mate I was suffering with headaches. He suggested that covering your head with with butter was a good cure. I went to the fridge and covered my head with butter and sat back in the lounge talking to my mate. After an hour or so, he asked how my head was. I told him it was still hurting. He laughed and said "I can't believe its not better!"

[Boris S.]

There is a reason why he's called a "dope" farmer

It's not because he is a rocket scientist...

[taxman]

This could easily have become

the snake in the grass

[dwieske]

I do wonder what the potgrowing has to do with what happened....

I sense el reg is moving to replace the news of the world? articles have seen a signigicant drop in quality and a rise in sensationalism....pity

[Lester Haines]

News of the World 2

I note you posted your first comment on El Reg in May 2011. Trust me, the downward spiral of quality and inexorable rise in sensationalism started way before that, if other, long-serving commentards are to be believed.

[Svantevid]

Re: News of the World 2

"the downward spiral of quality and inexorable rise in sensationalism started way before that"

---

To be precise, ecerything went to drain waaay before that: "What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents."

(Plato, 4th century BCE)

[The Indomitable Gall]

Re: News of the World 2

And "ho registros" responded to the quote by making a re-enactment of a youth tantrum with clay figurines. And pictures of robots.

[Trokair 1]

Re: News of the World 2

Well played good sir.

[otherdude512]

Monolith w/ tentacles, interesting image. Could images be submitted?