Biennial boner blights Beemer biker

A California man is suing BMW and custom motorbike saddle maker Corbin-Pacific for an epic stiffie which he insists was caused by a "ridge-like" seat fitted to his wheels. Henry Wolf filed suit California Superior Court in San Francisco last week. He claims that on 1 May 2010, he "was riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle equipped …

[Z-Eden]

Well, if you look on the bright side, at least he can go jousting easily...

[jungle_jim]

know i know

Why the Mrs wants me to get a motorbike so much!

[The Indomitable Gall]

Long-known

“It’s been long-known that compression of the neurovascular supply to the penis - if it’s compressed for a period of time, whether it be on a bicycle seat or some other device - it can actually cause prolonged numbness of the genitalia.”

Yup, and every lifestyle cyclist is well aware of this and will look for a saddle that has a gap designed to prevent pressure on the perineum for this very reason. Anyone who makes a saddle these days and doesn't take it into account really is pretty negligent....

[Aaron Em]

Re: Long-known

...which gives one to wonder about the negligence or lack thereof of the rider, who presumably as a "lifestyle cyclist" should know better than to ride on a seat that's going to wreck his wedding tackle, and who certainly has a more compelling interest in the care and maintenance of said tackle than the seat manufacturer would.

[jake]

@AaronEm (was: Re: Long-known)

More to the point, how many chicken-strip "bikers" actually know how to properly adjust the seating position & controls for their body size & limb length ... I'd probably kill myself trying to do a hot-lap on my wife's race bikes, despite the fact that other than rider positioning they are identical to mine.

Gut feeling is that this bloke's condition is self-inflicted.

Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!"

Doctor: Well, then don't do that!"

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Long-known

Not sure about the US - but here in blighty there is a thing called 'fit for purpose'

Whatever you buy *has* to be fit for purpose, otherwise the manufacturer/seller is liable.

[Marvin the Martian]

Re: Long-known

It's clearly fit-for-purpose, as Corbin is one of the biggest aftermarket motorbike saddle manufacturers in the world.

Made-to-measure (for bike, not rider) -- with one unhappy client for thousands sold? I wonder how his lawyer talked him into this money (and face) losing attack of legalitis.

[AndyS]

Re: Long-known

It's also a 19 year old bike, so any "fit for purpose" legislation is certainly as worn out as the seat.

[g e]

Hang on a mo..

He is prevented from indulging in sexual activity because he HAS a boner???

[Graham Dawson]

Re: Hang on a mo..

Priapism is a very painful condition.

[Thing]

Re: Hang on a mo..

'Priapism is a very painful condition.'

For who?

[Roger Gann]

Inevitable knob gag.

This won't stand up in court.

[Aaron Em]

"This won't stand up in court."

Summary judgment for the defendant, plaintiff to pay court costs.

[Gavin King]

Re: Inevitable knob gag.

"All rise for the judge."

[Anonymous Coward]

What a W*nker!

[Stratman]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/05/01/munich_incident/

A match made in Heaven?

[Anonymous Coward]

Looks like.

Bavarian Motor Wagen induced boner meeting its Bavarian match...

[Anonymous Coward]

Self abuse of process?

Sues BMW because of an after-market part?

[Eddy Ito]

Re: Self abuse of process?

Unfortunately that's becoming standard practice here in the US. Sue anyone even remotely connected on the premise that many will just hand over some cash to make it go away and the deeper the pockets the better. It's what happens when lawyers make the rules.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Self abuse of process?

and the standard response ends up with the original manufacturer making the parts non-removable (or with considerable difficulty) to avoid the same thing happening again.

So we all suffer, because of one prat and the dumb-ass legals.

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought it was normal for German vehicles to have uncomfortable seats?

Certainly any VW, Audi or Seat I have the misfortune to sit in, I seem to catch the side of the seat base which is made of hard plastic on the way out.

[andreas koch]

@ Sir Wiggum:

German car seats have a default design limit of 125kg (19st 10lb in 'real' money).

You should maybe consider a Chevrolet Silverado for increased comfort.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @ Sir Wiggum:

@andreas koch

LOLOLOLOLOLZ!!!!!111 @ fat joke.

And I'm not a septic, so therefore all Chevrolet sell here are small Korean hatchbacks and I don't need a forklift to get me out of bed.

German cars in general are designed to be "sporty" therefore church pew seats and concrete suspension.

Used to prefer big comfy French cars til they went all the same.

[system11]

Re: @ Sir Wiggum:

Not all of them, buy one of the big Mercedes or BMW and they still have a good ride and a lounge suite for seats.

Ultimate comfortable 'bang for the buck' ride has to be the previous model 7 series, just brilliant cars. I paid a whole 5k for my last 750 which I had for 3 years, spent about 2k in repairs on it, sold it for 3 when the ABS pump failed. So 4k for 3 years motoring in an immensely comfortable and capable car, which is significantly less than the depreciation on anything you can buy at the moment,.

[andreas koch]

@ Sir Wiggum: Re: @ Sir Wiggum is not a yank

In which case I should have suggested a Chelsea Tractor. ;-P

Ok, joke aside, apart from some Porsche, AMG-Mercs, M-Beemers and such, German cars aren't any harder than any other makes.

French: I think the last truly different experience (fro Jack Average) was the Citroen GS.

[The Indomitable Gall]

German vehicles....

What does the Sociedad Española de Automóviles de Turismo have to do with German cars...?

[andreas koch]

@ The Indomitable Gall--Re: German vehicles....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volkswagen_Group#Divisions.2C_subsidiaries_and_marques

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh gees!

I'll need to update my spam filter to prevent unwanted motorbike/custom-saddle emails soon.

[JimC]

Maybe something like this one...

Presumably something like this one

http://www.corbin.com/bmw/paris.shtml

against an original like this

http://www.cifumotorsports.com/mc/1995bmwpd/images/pd2.jpg

Strange design, that's for sure, and the shape of the aftermarket one is influenced by the shape of the original.

[Stoneshop]

Re: Maybe something like this one...

Nowhere in the article and its links can I find the model op the bike, but I am fairly sure it is not the GS/PD. I have one, and unless you're a complete money-wasting gadget freak, buying an aftermarket saddle is totally unnecessary. I have one, and it is the most comfortable motorcycle saddle I have ever sat on. For long rides (>10h) a sheepskin cover is recommended, though.

[Anonymous Coward]

BMW drivers...

...have penises?

...as opposed to being pensis... ?

[Stoneshop]

Re: BMW drivers...

This is about a BMW rider, not a driver

[zen1]

@Stoneshop Re: BMW drivers...

There's a different?

[Loyal Commenter]

Re: @Stoneshop BMW drivers...

BMW drivers don't acknowledge the existence of other road users.

BMW riders don't acknowledge the existence of other non-BMW riders.

It's a distinction, but not much of one. As both a car driver and a biker, there is a noticeable difference between other bikers on BMW bikes and other bikers on any other make, in terms of courtesy at least.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: BMW drivers...

Didn't the other kids at school tell you what BMW stands for?

[100113.1537]

But, but, but..

The typical reaction to bicycle seats is lack of erection because of the pressure-induced numbness, not priapism. This guy is claiming the opposite of the common effect and the scientific rationale given (interruption to the blood flow) would decrease not increase his erection.

Seems like he was just embarrassed to admit his bike gives him a hard-on!

[Neil Barnes]

A little quiz:

You buy a bike. You find that riding on it causes a painful condition. Do you:

[a] stop riding it and find something else to get about on?, or

[b] sue somebody?

[Stevie]

Bah!

"Two hours each way to his destination?"

Ah, I see the problem. Mr Numb Nuts was expecting to ride through some sort of Non-Euclidean, direction polarized twisty-wisty space and unprepared for a two-hour ride. You know, thirty minutes out, two hours back, like when the wife nips down the shops for sugar, a journey of about half a mile, and is gone for three hours.

[John McCallum]

Not

...a very experienced rider is he I have regularly done longer runs than that 2 hours each way bloody amateurs but then he is a Yank.

[jake]

@John McCallum (was:Re: Not)

A couple of weeks ago, the wife & I did a ~2,300 mile road trip from Sonoma, CA to Tucson, AZ and back on our matching R 1150 GSs to attend a wedding. We were only off the Ranch about 48 hours. No, we didn't take the most direct route.

As a side note, at least most Yanks understand how to use capitalization and punctuation when writing The Queen's English.

[Anonymous Coward]

Muphry strikes again

"As a side note, at least most Yanks understand how to use capitalization and punctuation when writing The Queen's English."

The definite article in the above should not be capped up.

[jake]

Re: Muphry strikes again

In general, I agree.

But I was discussing writing "received pronunciation" spoken English, where the "The" in the definitive article is definitely pronounced with a capital "T" in this example, and thus deserves the capitalization when written.

And yes, I did it on purpose ;-)

[JetSetJim]

Re: Muphry strikes again^2

And "capitalization" is not Queen's English - you'd be wanting "capitalisation"

Instead you're writing "President's American" ;)

[jake]

Re: Muphry strikes again^2

"Queen's English" is spoken, not written. I'm a Yank. The zed is proper in these here parts.

::wanders off, muttering about kids these days::

[Loyal Commenter]

Re: Muphry strikes again^2

If you're a Yank, you don't speak the Queen's English, you speak American English which differs, quite distinctly in some cases, in spelling, grammatical form and vocabulary.

Examples:

Sulfur rather than Sulphur, and any word ending in -ise instead ending in -ize.

'July fourth' rather than 'July the fourth', 'one hundred one' rather than 'one hundred and one'.

'douchebag' rather than 'wanker'.

All in all, it's probably quite foolhardy to lecture people on the correct usage of the Queen's English on a British web site if you're an American. You're likely to come in for a bit of stick.

[Dave Harris]

Re: Muphry strikes again

...the "The" in the definitive article is definitely pronounced with a capital "T"...

I'm sorry, would you be so kind as to run that past me again? The definite (not definitive) article is the general definition of the word "the", as I'm sure you're aware, so to refer to a particular instance of "the" in a given use of the word seems to go beyond tautology.

Furthermore, it should not, generally speaking, be capitalised except at the beginning of a sentence, even if it is attached to a proper noun, unless actually part of that proper noun (I refer you at this juncture to the Guardian Style Guide entry on the subject http://www.guardian.co.uk/styleguide/t ).

Also, I'm curious as to how one enunciates "The" and "the" differently. Would you care to elaborate?

[Lamont Cranston]

Re: Muphry strikes again

@ Dave Harris

Maybe he's from Yorkshire, and speaks T'Queen's English?

On reflection, this looks stupid when written down, yet seemed quite witty in my head.

[jake]

Re: Muphry strikes again

Not from Yorkshire. Went to high school there, though. Got me Os & As ...

See this old post

After the first post, I was mostly just trolling. This round's on me :-)

[Lamont Cranston]

Cheers!

As a southerner, I guess I'd better stick to a lager top, rather than any real beer.

[Suburban Inmate]

Does it have to be on a bike?

A stationary shag seat for the erectally challenged?

[a well wisher]

So ..........

Is he a numbnut or does he just have a case of numbnuts ?

[YouStupidBoy]

He should have invested in

some Bulgarian airbags as support. Too late now. I don't suppose he even wants to see a pair. Poor bastard.

Having said that, he'll lose, unless it's clearly related to the manufacture, design or installation. And if there's [x] more people out there who haven't experienced similar problems - then it's not unreasonable to conclude it's down to some underlying freak physical abnormality that you can't attend to because there's no ROI. Or he's just not set it up right.

[Nigel Brown]

Here it comes...

Only cocks ride Beemers anyway...

[xyz]

Paint the seats blue...

....and flog them on the internet. Talk about adding value to a product.

[georgeclooneylookalike]

Billy Connolly

I remember something from the bearded wonder

http://www.billboard.com/song/billy-connolly/penile-numbness/8469147#/song/billy-connolly/penile-numbness/8469147

Thumbs up becasue....

[Rampant Spaniel]

BMW riders

It wasn't the seat causing the boner, it was the mirrors.

[Loyal Commenter]

In Other News...

Man sues brick manufacturer after injuring himself smashing bricks into his forehead.

[Anonymous Coward]

Errr...

Just out of curiosity, do you have a part number for that seat?

[Kubla Cant]

Biennial boner

Sorry to be a spoilsport, but isn't a "biennial boner" one that happens every two years?

[Lester Haines]

Re: Biennial boner

Yup, or one that lasts two years: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/biennial

[Alien Doctor 1.1]

Prick

Soz