back to article 'Attitudes to robot sex will change'

In Steven Spielberg’s AI (Artificial Intelligence), Jude Law plays smoking hot Gigolo Joe, a male prostitute “mecha” – a new class robot humanoids of the 22nd century. But according to New Zealand based academics, Ian Yeoman and Michelle Mars, a Gigolo Joe could be at our disposal in less than 30 years. In their paper Robots …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Android sex?

    I doubt I'm the first to say, but I tried doing it with my android but got all cut up on the micro usb socket.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Android sex?

      Come android 6.9 you will be able to unlock your phone with a seamen sample. Not that it will stop some wanker trying to hack into your phone.

      1. Michael Hoffmann
        Joke

        Re: Android sex?

        A "seamen" sample? So, is "hello, sailor" the password or the safeword for the android?!

        Sorry, sorry, sorry...

        1. Crisp

          Re: Android sex?

          Oh woe to ye who go about saying unto each, 'Hello, Sailor.'

    2. Thorne

      Re: Android sex?

      I'm pleased to know mine is too big to fit in the micro usb slot

      1. Ken 16 Silver badge

        Re: Android sex?

        USB 3.0 extra wide?

    3. amanfromearth

      Re: Android sex?

      The socket's probably a bit loose for you. Trying looking for one with a more snug fit.

    4. Inachu
      FAIL

      Re: Android sex?

      Would work early on but after a while digital pimps will get sick and tired of real flesh eating into their bottom line. Thus the robot digital pimp will with his high IQ will make his own body guard to flush out and kill REAL HUMAN sex workers. Soon then there will be a hunt for these killers and then the android VS human war will begin. Since they have real AI then they have morals and thus robots will start also their own religion devoid of any human being their god.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Android sex?

      Why Android sex?

      because everyone knows Apple don't do sex

      Sorry mines the coat with the pockets full of C cells.

    6. rciafardone
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Android sex?

      The sad part is on the fact that you were able to introduce anything in there...

      Paris cause she has no space fitting problem....

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They're just missing one detail.

    Take the human aspect out of any kind of sex, remove the other person having feelings and desires of their own, and you're masturbating.

    Don't need robots to do that.

    1. asdf
      Thumb Down

      so wrong but here goes

      Robots could be useful for golden and chocolate showers as flying solo for those type of things probably isn't really easy without hoses, etc.

    2. Dave 126 Silver badge

      We gentlemen might not need robots, but...

      ... Anne Summers still do good business in things that take batteries, I have been led to believe. Vibrators were invented by Victorian doctors so as to save themselves from having to perform RSI-provoking actions. Their clinics specialised in treating the latest nervous malady of the day - 'hysteria' - and their patients were wealthy ladies. Sometimes, it seems the 'feelings and desires' of these ladies might have been 'I want to get off. Now. And Simply.'

      : D

    3. Tim99 Silver badge
      Joke

      @Mycho

      "Take the human aspect out of any kind of sex, remove the other person having feelings and desires of their own, and you're masturbating."

      You make that sound like a bad thing (Gene Hunt).

    4. Thorne

      Yes but they make it more fun

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "remove the other person having feelings and desires of their own"

      You can be assured that this is already somebody's fetish. There is inevitably porn of it.

      But seriously, don't need robots in order to masturbate? The sex toy industry is non-trivial in size, demonstrating that a significant number of people actually like the use of accessories. Sure, you don't need em, but when has that ever stopped anyone?

      And I'm disappointed in you that you assume the only use is glorified masturbation. Who says other humans can't be involved as well? Threesomes are logistically and socially inconvenient for many people, after all.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      re: mycho

      It's not stopped people buying Real Dolls. I couldn't think of anything creepier than having sex with a still and lifeless body though. Also, how do you store it when it's not in use? Sit it in front of the tele?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @AC14:09

        "I couldn't think of anything creepier than having sex with a still and lifeless body though"

        You're obviously not married then.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @AC15:36

          I am married. Perhaps you're doing it wrong?

          1. KjetilS
            Stop

            @AC19:59

            Terribly sorry, but I had to downvote you for (trying to) ruin(ing) the joke

  3. PhilipN Silver badge
    Gimp

    Long time coming

    Read about this in a SF short story 40 years ago.

    Don't boffins understand humans' prime motivation?

    Ok, other humans

    1. Colin Brett
      Pint

      Re: Long time coming

      Paul Macauley wrote about it more recently. Something about genetically engineered "dolls", robo-hookers in Fairyland or something. Then, of course, Gibson alluded to it in Neuromancer: Molly, a real human, had an electronic cut-out circuit that made her go through pre-programmed routines for a john.

      Does art imitate life or the other way round?

      You know something? I'm starting to get really weirded-out by this sort of stuff. Hence the icon. I think I need more of it.

      Colin

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Holmes

        Re: Long time coming

        Well, this is interesting.

        On the one side we have the sex toy industry beavering away [pun intended!] to make ever more lifelike sex dolls. On the other side we have the media and plastic surgery industries combining to convince insecure women that the secret of happiness lies in modifying the human body to look less like a real flesh'n'blood person and more like an artificial sex doll.

        With both sides on course for a head-on collision in this way, I can well believe that it won't be too long in the future 'til the difference between advanced sex toy and over-enthusiastic aficionada of cosmetic surgery becomes too close to call.

    2. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Long time coming

      Possibly Brian Aldiss?

      In a short story related to 'A.I', (and included in a compilation of the same name) the board of the company discuss the marketing of sex robots.

      In the preface to the book, Aldiss expresses frustration that Kubrick wanted to make a Spielbergh-style popular film. Reading these short stories shows Aldiss wanted the film to be much darker.

      1. PhilipN Silver badge

        Re: Long time coming

        Pretty sure it was one of the American writers, because of the pre-60's sensibilities.

        A youngish married couple engage a robot butler/housekeeper who turns out to be a James Bond lookalike. "He" and the lady of the house end up doing what comes naturally ..er ..yeah.

        1. Andrew Moore

          Re: Long time coming

          which was parodied in a Simpson's Treehouse of Horror- Pierce Brosnan provided the voice.

        2. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

          @PhilipN

          Satisfaction Guaranteed by Isaac Asimov (April 1951). It's a First Law story; to quote Susan Calvin: "[The robot] couldn't allow harm to come a human being, and harm was coming to Clare Belment through her own sense of inadequacy. So [the robot] made love to her, since what woman would fail to appreciate the compliment of being able to stir passion in a machine - in a cold. soulless machine."

  4. usbac

    "Anther economic by product would be a whole new IT/robotics industry vertical based on the creation, servicing and upgrading on fleets of humanised, sexualised, android sex armies."

    Well, working in IT wouldn't be so bad then. After all, everything HAS to be "tested".

    1. Arrrggghh-otron

      Things are bad enough already...

      It's bad enough when you find pubes in the keyboard, dubious sticky stains or 'amateur pr0n' on the computer that you have been asked to fix. This would take IT support to a whole new level...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Ever heard of real doll? add a few servos, motors and a Rasberry Pi and your nearly there already!

      1. Anonymous Coward 15

        Is there anywhere you can't put a Raspberry Pi?

        Ahem.

        1. Sam 15

          Re: Is there anywhere you can't put a Raspberry Pi?

          Better wait for the next upgrade with a more flexible interface - the Raspberry Bi.

        2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          You may want the smaller version - the Raspberry Tart.

          (Really, they nearly write themselves, don't they?)

  5. Owen
    Paris Hilton

    You'd get to choose the "bot" of your dreams.

    Just think of the licensing opportunities for body copies of the stars.

    I know which "botty" I'd choose, . . . but it's not Red Dwarf's, "The Last Day" robotic Marilyn Monroe version.

    Of course there's going to be the second hand, reconditioned market as well. When the robots get worn out, just like tyres, you could give them a retread and sell them off cheap as Pamela Anderson.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You'd get to choose the "bot" of your dreams.

      Had to chuckle when I misread it as retard....

      But then again if you are talking about Pam Anderson, the word is redundant

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Its 3d (4d?) porn.

    Sex completely on your own terms without the need for any consideration for your partner. In fact, you can own your sex partner if you pay enough cash.

    No-one to tell you to pick up your socks off the floor, no-one to complain when you orgasm first and promptly fall asleep, no-one who is tired from dealing with the kids, no-one who wants to talk about their day, no-one with a physical imperfection, no-one who is snappy due to sleep issues.

    No, of course that wouldn't become a habit. It would be easy to form a relationship with someone used to all that.

    This is just one step away from the last human invention - the holodeck.

    And to think we were worried about destroying ourselves with atom bombs...

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: What could possibly go wrong?

      Well it could be a cure for over-population and associated ills :)

      Assuming the religious nutters don't get all hot about it threatening their business model.

      1. Ogi

        Re: What could possibly go wrong?

        Actually.. the religious nuts will probably continue to do sex the old fashioned way, especially if this is seen as "unnatural, impure, etc...". What may happen is that birthrates will fall for those who use these bots (especially if they form long term childless bonds with them), while the religious ones will continue to breed, resulting in a demographic shift towards the faithful.

        How that would affect society in the future, I guess we'll see :)

        Not my cup of tea personally, the thing I love most about the girls I dated is that they are their own people, with opinions, thoughts and feelings, rather than a robotic equivalent to a sycophant, but whatever tickles your tackle. Each to his own, etc....

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What could possibly go wrong?

        "Well it could be a cure for over-population"

        Not necessarily ... just ask Lintilla, or Lintilla, or Lintilla or any of their other 800 thousand million sisters!

      3. Figgus

        Re: What could possibly go wrong?

        Ironically, the Futurama episode about Robosexuality was just on last night... I thought their take on the religious aspect of it was quite appropriate.

    2. illiad

      Re: What could possibly go wrong?

      well... there is the story in some scifi series, about a sex droid that got 'stuck in a loop' while doing its 'best ever BJ'... the guy could not / would not want to get up.. eventually starved to death...

      oh, wait... a similar thing has already happened in japan, guy did not want to stop playing the on-line game.... ROFL

  7. LaeMing
    Unhappy

    Nothing for the girls?

    No an(as in male)droids?

    Or have the researchers never actually seen a real woman so don't know we exist.

    Oh, wait!

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Nothing for the girls?

      You might enjoy the video that results from popping 'David Prometheus' into YouTube, if the comments left there by the girls are anything to judge by!

      I'm clueless, but it seems the positive views are because the android looks like Michael Fassbender and is willing to do things his human colleagues might find 'unethical'.

      [ It's advertisement for a new line of Synthetic Person by Weyland Industries - the latest 'Prometheus' film 'viral' video. ]

    2. Old Handle
      Pint

      Re: Nothing for the girls?

      Not to worry! It wasn't exactly highlighted, but it does say "The Yub-Yum offers a range of sexual gods and goddesses of different ethnicities, body shapes, ages, languages and sexual features."

      Presumably the "gods" are there for women, though of course not exclusively.

    3. Mike Moyle Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Nothing for the girls?

      "No an(as in male)droids?"

      Are you kidding...? You'll get the best of both worlds: You'll have a mobile Android with an iPud.

      (If it counts for anything, I'm really very, very sorry about that one...)

    4. illiad

      Re: Nothing for the girls?

      well dont you already have 'sybian' and other sex machines ??

      It is easy to make a simple robot for mens sexual needs, but womens needs are MUCH more complex..

      http://static.dailystrength.org/groupfiles/0/8/6/4/10004680/g_1130290177.jpg

      and women wonder why men find it so difficult!!!

  8. JeevesMkII
    Terminator

    Not going to happen

    Firstly of course because by 2050 the Amsterdam sex club will probably have to be partially submersible thanks to the likes of Orlowski and Lewis at this fair website. But mostly because if there's a humanoid robot to be had, the military will get it before the pornographers do. That's the way technology always works. After that, we all know the rest of the story.

    (Also, obligatory DON'T DATE ROBOTS!)

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Not going to happen

      I was going to say "consider the history of photography- and then of film, and later media- and it seems pornographers always got there with in a year or two of any invention"

      but then I thought of 'the internet'. Your point stands, sir!

      . Does anyone here know when the first naughty picture was put on the internet?

      1. jake Silver badge

        @Dave 126 (was: Re: Not going to happen)

        Well ... I first saw ASCII-art tits online in ~1975.

        I had ARPANET access a little later. Pornographic images were shared all over the dorms, right from the git-go. What do you expect from college boys, away from home for the first time & trying not to die from testosterone poisoning?

        Grandpa had me beat in the "high-tech porn" department by about a century.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not going to happen

        "Does anyone here know when the first naughty picture was put on the internet?"

        I first encounter the "web" back in the days of Mosaic 1.0 when the computer dept at NCSA (where Marc Andreesen and others developed Mosaic) maintained the basic "guides to the web" which included a "New sites this week" page (actually may have been originally this month until new sites started flooding in at a rate of several a day) where one of the CS departments of a dutch University (?Delft) proudly announced that among other things they hosted the largest collection of online porn in Europe.

    2. MrXavia

      Re: Not going to happen

      No, since the military has no need for anatomically correct bots, they can build bots for war already.. .

    3. Stoneshop Silver badge
      FAIL

      "by 2050 the Amsterdam sex club will probably have to be partially submersible"

      If that's your kink, someone will surely cater to it; aside from that we're quite capable of keeping stuff dry that would otherwise be under several meters of water. There's also the option of using houseboats, as practiced in Utrecht already.

  9. heyrick Silver badge

    I suppose this makes sense...

    ...if your idea of sex is some sort of schoolgirl fantasy that would otherwise be illegal (hmmm, and probably still would be), but surely there is a lot more to a relationship than sex? What do you have to care about for a robot except making sure "she" is charged and wiped over with a j-cloth once in a while? I suppose it could also be a great novelty item - your iPhone 20 is so yesterday, check out my iChick... However anything beyond that would suggest that humanity is screwed.

    And...I'm perhaps overthinking this, but wouldn't there be whirring clicking noises from the mechanics? That could be offputting...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I suppose this makes sense...

      Duh, that's why they're pushing these hypothetical robots as prostitutes, not girlfriends. While people have been known to confuse the two, that isn't a problem unique to robots.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I suppose this makes sense...

        Or they've seen Futurama, where Fry learns a cautionary tale of when the human race was nearly wiped out because everyone was too busy with their robot boyfriend/girlfriend to do anything else (let alone procreate)!

        1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
          Terminator

          Re: I suppose this makes sense...

          Not forgetting the risks of "Electrogonorrhea - The Noisy Killer" too...

      2. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
        Stop

        Re: I suppose this makes sense...

        Am I the only one that thinks "robotic prostitute" makes no sense? Is a hire-car an "automotive prostitute", or a rented dinner suit a "clothing prostitute"? Surely "prostitution" only applies to sentient beings. These things will just be another commodity to rent or buy, like any other.

    2. Thorne

      Re: I suppose this makes sense...

      You'll have to jailbreak your iChick to get it to do anything other than missionary

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Missionary?

        You sick fuck.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I suppose this makes sense...

        "My iChick loses connection while held in any position but missionary"

        "Just avoid holding it in that way. All iChicks have sensitive areas"

        1. Thorne

          Re: I suppose this makes sense...

          Actually the iChick will do you from behind cause that the way Steve did his fanbois and they like it

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Given the choice between Apple Pie and Android sex, It would all depend on how pretty the android was ;)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This will happen, possibly even before military applications

    2.7% of World GDP is spent on military expenditures (4.06% for the US), while the sex industry ranges from at least 2% to 14% (Indonesia) of national GDP. This tells me that sex applications of robotics are very likely to emerge around the same time if not earlier than military applications.

    But contrary to this article's author, I believe that the sex industry's landscape will change dramatically. Why go to a far away country for sex tourism if you can get your fix with the same android right here in your town?

    Yep, androids of all races and shapes at your doorsteps with little to no overhead / taxes thanks to the WTO. You save time and the cost of an airline ticket, you save carbon and prevent global warming. Feels good! Even a train trip to Amsterdam makes no sense if you can get your fix right after work and be home by 9pm pretexting a drink with your colleagues.

    The future is not so rosy for the sex industry in Indonesia, Thailand and many other poor countries that will need to find better career opportunities for their women by 2050. Somehow I do not feel sorry for them.

  12. Robert Heffernan
    Boffin

    Umm No.

    I am a HUGE fan of all things robotic and can't wait for the day there are walking, talking androids (the robotic ones, not the phone) getting around day to day but there are a few things don't sit right with me on this.

    First, it's great that it will help reduce STDs but really, BIG PHARMA has a lot to do with this, they research remedies and temporary relief for all sorts of ailments but never really research the cure like they did with small pox because it's not profitable. If they started seriously researching cures for STDs the problem would eventually go away completely. Also using adequate protection during sex is another large part of the problem. Any punter who has the opportunity to go bareback with an escort is just asking for a disease and should leave!

    Next, it's a great theory that it will reduce the trafficking and sexual abuse of children but if a paedophile wants to have sex with a child, they won't go to a sex bot to do it. Firstly, what robot manufacturer will come out with a "Lil Suzy" model for the pedo market, they will get crucified, the pedos won't buy them because it will mean admitting to sales people that your a pedo, and brothels won't buy the robots because they won't want to be associated with that kind of thing. No, it's a sad fact that I wish could be changed but unfortunately, real human children will continue to be sexually abused by paedophiles.

    Then there is the issue of massive job losses in the sex industry, the brothels will love the bots because they don't need to pay them and they get to keep all the money, where as with human escorts they must be paid for their services. It will truly be a sad day for human kind when the oldest and most secure (in that there will always be a demand for the service) profession in the world starts becoming redundant due to an update in technology.

    I am not against bots for the use in treating sexual disorders or where someone has a physical or mental condition that prevents them from being intimate with a real person, but for the rest of the population, it should remain a human only arrangement.

    1. Franklin
      FAIL

      Re: Umm No.

      "First, it's great that it will help reduce STDs but really, BIG PHARMA has a lot to do with this, they research remedies and temporary relief for all sorts of ailments but never really research the cure like they did with small pox because it's not profitable."

      *yawn* Not that tired old trope again.

      Anyone who believes this has no clue about medical research. First, "Big Pharma" is not some giant monolithic entity. It's a collection of companies, some large and many small, who compete with one another on a level that makes Oracle v. Google look like a minor tiff at a Boy Scout camp.

      Second, there's a lot more money than you think in curing STDs.

      Third, trying to get a bunch of academics and researchers to curtail their research for some cynical motivation...are you serious? Most of the folks who go into medical research--and I know quite a few scientists and academics who do this for a living--do it because they genuinely want to help people. You couldn't pay me enough to do their work; they go into debt for advanced graduate-level degrees, then work their asses off doing research for less money than an average MBA makes, all so they can get slagged as being part of some greedy entity that wants to keep people sick.

      And last, if you seriously think that these folks would find a cure for something and then suppress it, you're more bonkers than the moon-hoax-conspiracy nutters. They'd all look around each other at the conference table and say "Sure, I promise not to tell anyone we have a cure for AIDS"...and then race each other to the patent office. The person who finds a full-stop cure for that or other common STDs is a shoo-in for a Nobel Prize and all the grant money she could ever want.

      Seriously, the conspiracy dingbattery around "Big Pharma" is nuts. If all these conspiracy theories were true, we would not expect to see huge, sprawling, multinational pharmaceutical companies like Bayer making cheap, low-margin, unpatentable products like...err, aspirin.

      1. Robert Heffernan
        Facepalm

        Re: Umm No.

        @Franklin

        I hear what you are saying and I agree with you in that the scientists working in this field are there for the right reasons, to cure disease and make life better for everyone.

        It's the corporate executives and accountants at the top that bother me, not fully funding research into cures or blocking their discovery because a cure isn't profitable, it's a one off sale. Remedies are an ongoing sale and are much more profitable.

        As for the Nobel Prize, it's great for the research team who makes the discovery but doesn't mean jack for the company who pays them.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Big Pharma (Re: Umm No.)

      The problem is not that "Big Pharma" hides cures - it's that it exaggerates the benefits and tries to hide the side effects of the stuff it does sell.

    3. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Mushroom

      "but for the rest of the population, it should remain a human only arrangement."

      Do not impose your reactionary morals on other people of free will.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    The first law in robotic sex acceptability

    Only when all hairdressers are replaced by robots will the public be ready for a sex robot. This is the public at large, not the non-god fearing mob we have on these forums.

    So if you would trust a robot to cut your hair then you would be open to at least trusting a robot in other area's, not saying you would. Though in contrast we use robots for surgery more often than we use to cut hair, wake up people :0.

    1. Admiral Grace Hopper Silver badge

      Re: The first law in robotic sex acceptability

      If the robot's doing surgery, the last thing I want to do at that point is wake up.

    2. Captain Hogwash Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: The first law in robotic sex acceptability

      Was I the only one who read that as "open to at least thrusting a robot in other area's" ?

  14. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Re humans on robots vs humans on humans, you might have neglected a third option: human on human on robot:

    Consider our (in The West) ageing population, and older people's desires are complemented by pharmaceutically-extended ability. The robots described in the article may well be descended from the elderly-care robots the Japanese are working on (because there are not enough young people to care for their old), so designed for lifting and supporting human bodies. Having an extra pair of strong hands might be handy for a caring coupling couple whose joints aren't what they used to be!

    An another note, there are areas of the world where there is an imbalance between the genders, indirectly caused by government policies. In parts of China, there just aren't enough ladies for every man. The Chinese government last year even had a pro-porn (and thus anti-prostitution) drive, in a bid to curb STDs.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looking forward to it.

    I for one welcome our new robotic overlords...sorry, slaves. Or maids. Or rubbery dom types.

  16. Spud2go
    Joke

    Another way for technology to fuck with you.

    Yes friends, a hi-tech solution for premature ejaculation - coming soon!

    1. LoopyChew

      Re: Another way for technology to fuck with you.

      Isn't the point behind finding a solution to premature ejaculation to STOP coming soon?

  17. Jack Prichard
    Joke

    The other thing Amsterdam is famous for...

    Is obviously in wide use among the academics at my Alma Mater.

    We didn't have that much fun in my day, grumble.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So, this works with Android...

    ...What about iOS (I already know WP7 has no hope!).

    ...Couldn't resist.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      WP7?

      should be ideal. Microshaft have been fucking me for years.

  19. Spindreams
    FAIL

    How is this article NSFW????? no pictures of men humping androids or women using computer connected dildo's..

    1. Crisp
      FAIL

      I too was disappointed about the lack of NSFW material. :(

  20. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Windows for Gigolos

    Just watch all the complains when this O/S doesn't go down.

  21. Admiral Grace Hopper Silver badge
    Stop

    "business grade sex"

    No thanks.

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: "business grade sex"

      Really? Do you prefer "home grade" sex, or maybe splash out on "enterprise grade" sex with an upgrade assurance program and citlocker(TM) for keeping your dirty secrets really secret?

      1. Admiral Grace Hopper Silver badge

        Re: "business grade sex"

        I was more concerned that by the time we've sorted out time codes, ISO compliance, done a few PowerPoints, assembled the stakeholders, got buy in and made sure that we're all the same page we might have lost something of the spontaneity.

  22. Semaj
    Thumb Up

    Fun

    I'd give it a go - sounds like fun. It wouldn't be the same as with a living partner but why not? And the implication seems to be that only singles would use them but they could be good for couples too. Male ones would even be better for guys who are "straight" ;)

  23. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Coat

    Do sex androids

    dream of electric ceilings?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: Do sex androids

      Well played, that man,

    2. Trainee grumpy old ****
      Boffin

      Re: Do sex androids

      I have seen things you people wouldn't believe..... lust circuits in overdrive near the Tannhauser gate. All these moments...

  24. Dogface

    Women seem almost proud of their Rampant Rabbits, like its a feminist strike for freedom to get off from an electric cock. Yet when there is talk of men using robots, suddenly its all sad and seedy. Funny that.

  25. Jonathon Green
    Paris Hilton

    JeevesMkII: "...if there's a humanoid robot to be had, the military will get it before the pornographers do. "

    Actually I'm not so sure about that, this actually strikes me as one of the very, very, very few situations where there's a really good case to made for a humanoid robot rather than a chip wired straight up to bit of specialised hardware.

    Robert Heffernan: "what robot manufacturer will come out with a "Lil Suzy" model for the pedo market, they will get crucified, the pedos won't buy them because it will mean admitting to sales people that your a pedo, and brothels won't buy the robots because they won't want to be associated with that kind of thing. "

    I refer the honorable gentleman to Charles Stross's recent novel "Rule 34" (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rule-34-Charles-Stross/dp/1841497738), and specifically the activities of The Toymaker...

    Paris. Clearly an early and somewhat flawed prototype...

  26. Mike Bell
    Thumb Up

    More Human Than Human

    I'd give "basic pleasure model" Pris from Blade Runner one. So long as she behaved herself.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: More Human Than Human

      I have to agree with Mr. Bell here-- if these robotic companions were indistinguishable in general behavior, feel, and appearance from humans like the "replicants" were in the 1982 Science Fiction film "Blade Runner," or at the very least as close to being human as the character "Cameron" was in the short-lived television series "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," then I would absolutely be all for it. Besides, think of all of the possibilities that such technologies could provide-- you could really let your imagination run wild with this. You wouldn't necessarily have to have your android companion's design be limited to "a range of sexual gods and goddesses of different ethnicities, body shapes, ages, languages and sexual features" as the article states. Who says you couldn't go even wilder than that? How many of you "trekkies" out there wished that you could be just like Captain Kirk and have one of those scantily-clad green-skinned "Orion Slave Girls?" There could be an android model for that! Are you one of those over-the-top Star Wars fans that actively practices the Jedi religion? Well there could be a female Twi'lek dancing girl waiting for you, just like the one that Jabba the Hutt had in his palace! And if your personal fantasies involved wielding "The Sword of Omens" on the planet of "Third Earth," then an android modeled after the character "Cheetara" from the animated series "ThunderCats" could be yours! Roar! Heck, you could even have a 10-foot-tall blue-skinned "Na'vi" from the James Cameron film "Avatar" if you wanted! For sexually-starved nerds everywhere the possibilities are endless and this would literally be a dream come true! So as long as what we are talking about here is more like flesh-and-blood Blade Runner "replicants" and less like some kind of creepy animatronic silicone-skinned version of the "RealDoll," then I for one would definitely welcome our future robot overlords! ;) ThunderCats, ho!

      1. Bob H
        Pirate

        Re: More Human Than Human

        the article mentions multiple models, but also lets not neglect the idea that one could have adaptive partners. Limbs that adjust to relative sizes, faces that reshape themselves, perhaps even variable skin tones?

  27. MikeyD85
    Joke

    Girls will be

    loving the 100% up time.

    Seriously though... unless you can hide your SexDroid under your bed... how will you explain that to the family?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Girls will be

      It will have to double up as a general duties domest servant - not at all embarrassing to own.

      "I've no idea why my iRoboMaid has the extra 'ports', maybe there was a mixup in the ordering process" he blushed.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I want a G. W. Bush pleasure model

    Squeal boi, squeal....

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Massive cultural and political shift

    At the moment there's far too much political influence from Grumpy Old People (of all ages - it's a state of mind), whether it's action campaigns hellbent on removing fun and freedom, miserable letters in the press, or just the voter turnout of depressed old fogeys.

    Perhaps if they're all getting their jollies from robots instead, they'll have better things to do than tut at the youngsters, being jealous and out of touch. Let's cheer up the old gits and make life better for all!

    Air-drop legions of sexbots into repressive regime countries, let them loosen up too - cheaper than warfare :)

  30. Big_Boomer Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Urkkkk!

    What happens when the database crashes and your servo driven love-puppet has an epileptic fit mid-bonk? I guess the hospitals would welcome a change from getting milk bottles off cocks and removing various objects from front and rear bottoms.

    "So, did sir turn the simulated orgasm to 11 did he? Won't do that again now will he?"

  31. Big_Boomer Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Inhuman?

    For those who are commenting on stuff like "it wouldn't be the same as with a human",...

    What's the difference between a faked orgasm and a simulated orgasm then,... ???

    Paris, the ultimate faked orgasm.

  32. paulc
    Thumb Up

    Oblig: Spirit of the Age

    "Your android replica is playing up again, it's no joke

    When she comes she moans another's name

    But that's the spirit of the age,"

    Lyrics from Hawkwind's "Spirit of the Age"

  33. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    Sex tourism?

    At present, sex tourism exists because these places are the only place you can do this stuff. Robots would change that. Moreover, if the first sexbots arrive in 30 years, they'll be cheap as chips in 50 and the majority of people will be able to afford one at home.

    Sexbots will kill off the sex tourism industry, except for a few niches catering for those who get off on the exploitation rather than the physical act.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Sex tourism?

      I want loads of gold

      and fuck loads of diamonds

      and I hope lots of men

      die trying to find em

      Abuse of others has sadly always been a symbol of wealth and power - it can't be faked.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    But...

    What is the official line from the Church/Lawyers, Is it considered Adultry to give one to a Hoover?

    1. Peter Murphy
      Devil

      Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn....

      Don't worry about the church. The First Church of Appliantology is perfectly fine with people getting it on with XQJ-37 nuclear powered Pan-Sexual Roto-Plookers.

    2. DJV Silver badge

      Re: But...

      http://www.gocomics.com/monty/2011/07/08

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Welsh option

    Mmmm - electric sheep!

    1. Thorne

      Re: Welsh option

      Didn't Phillip K Dick write a book about that? "Do Welshmen dream of electric sheep" or somethink like that

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    androids vs. avatars

    I'm guessing physical avatars before androids. Long distance gf/bf etc. Some may go for super-Siri but human element likely remains on top for a while.Perhaps rather than threatening, its a career extending opportunity for the red ladies of amsterdam. But what you have to ask is are you really sure your partner avatar controller is under 90.

  37. Wupspups

    Groinal attachments

    I wonder if they would come with groinal attachments? Be handy for giving the old boudoir a quick vacum before the next punter arrives. Or perhaps rustling up a quick post coital omlette with the whisk. Of course not many go for that option.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Personally I would prefer a living human with their flaws over a sex droid...

    So if I was paying, I'd pay extra for flesh.....

    I'd like an android servant though, that would be handy!

    1. Thorne

      You pay for all sex. With an android at least it's an upfront cost and 50Km services. Most males are still paying for sex they had years ago (and will continue to do so).

  39. Vanir
    Joke

    Don't why blokes just use ...

    a milking machine.

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Don't why blokes just use ...

      Why? Because they don't stop until they get several pints!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Don't why blokes just use ...

        Thanks you two! That sort of hard to forget mental image has just completely ruined my Friday night plans!

    2. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Don't why blokes just use ...

      ,,,because they don't stop until they've taken ten pints!

  40. Steve Evans

    Hmmm...

    Robotic muscle powered legs wrapped round your back?

    Sounds like a quick route to a wheelchair!

    1. Thorne

      Re: Hmmm...

      Quick route or quick root?

  41. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    Wow

    Bad sci-fi thinly disguised as academic research. Where can I get some of this funding?

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Bad sci-fi

      "Bad" is subjective (though I agree the quoted material is pretty dull stuff - I haven't read the whole paper, though), but certainly this is well-traveled ground. The idea of a "sex robot" arguably goes back at least as far as the myth of Pygmalion.

      I'm partial to George Barker's version:

      O sometimes, nevertheless,

      The labourer at his instrument or tractor,

      Bending into a state of merge with objects,

      Finds the same love that, from a machine of sex,

      Steps down as Venus to her invoker.[1]

      The alert reader will note that Barker is drawing an equivalence between sex and working with machines, much as the Thompson Twins did in "You Take Me Up".

      [1] In some collections where this poem appears, the last word of this line is "invocator". Apparently Barker changed it at some point; I believe "invoker" is the later version. The poem is from 1943.

  42. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    To quote from Frank Zappa

    "L. Ron Hoover:

    A Latent Appliance Fetishist

    Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself

    That sexual gratification can only be achieved

    Through the use of MACHINES . . .

    Get the picture?"

    The most relevant bit's here

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: To quote from Frank Zappa

      An acute observer of human sexuality, was Frank, RIP. Observations of Catholic Girls, Jewish Princesses, and, with all these goth girls filling up one's local boozer "Where's my waitress? You can take this pen and hang it on your ass! You ain't the devil!"

  43. atomic jam

    Pleasure bots in around 30 years ...

    I want one now!

  44. Lamont Cranston
    Terminator

    If this is going to eliminate the trafficking of child sex-workers,

    won't this require sex-droids that mimic human children? And if so, won't that fall foul of the law?

    Or is it all an elaborate honeytrap?

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: If this is going to eliminate the trafficking of child sex-workers,

      "won't this require sex-droids that mimic human children? And if so, won't that fall foul of the law?"

      Of course it will. I can't imagine a government that will voluntarily give up a stick with which they can beat us to surrender more and more freedoms, and the threat of "paedos" around every corner is just such a stick. Anything that will make the threat (real or perceived) go away will not be welcomed...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If this is going to eliminate the trafficking of child sex-workers,

      Perhaps that's where the "tourism" part comes in. Otherwise it would make more sense to ship the bots around the world and set up shop where the customers are. But if sex bots–or certain kinds–are outlawed in many countries, then customers would have have a reason to go to those where they aren't.

    3. Thorne

      Re: If this is going to eliminate the trafficking of child sex-workers,

      They'll be out of warranty before their old enough

  45. Fibbles

    Mechanising the oldest profession...

    At least it will lead to more interestingly dressed luddites.

  46. mmm mmm

    That's me fixed for my old age then.

  47. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    The saviour of the British car industry

    So the Italian built ones would be sleek, fast and beautiful but unreliable and require lots of maintenance,

    The German ones would be powerful and efficient but soulless

    The American ones would have a pair 4.8 liter V8 hemi funbags on the front but weigh 4tons

    While the British ones would just leak oil.

  48. John A Blackley

    Storage

    How would an android brass stand up to being stored in a damp, drafty garden shed for most of the year?

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If you had an iChick then..

    I suspect that male users would use it so much that the battery would need to be nuclear for enough uhm, endurance.

    Guaranteeing that Apple fanbois never breed.. Win for evolution methinks.

    AC/DC and if anyone suggests induction charging I will personally slap them!

    1. Busby
      Happy

      Re: If you had an iChick then..

      Forget Nuclear what's wrong with collecting Kinetic energy?

      Nuclear option for the lazy tubbies.

  50. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Go

    I guess you can think of a sexbot as a big marital aid/adult toy

    So I suppose that I can see them becoming relatively popular.

    Just as long as your sexbot is not programmed to ask you what you are thinking afterwards....

  51. Jack's_Rage
    Trollface

    Problem?

    My only thing how to you get your money back after your done?

    Can you still roll it up in a carpet and throw it in a burning dumpster?

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Future-proofing

    Before you get too excited, consider the fact that;

    A: Each sex-robot will be wirelessly connected to GCHQ –just in case you're prone to incriminating pillow talk

    B: You'll only be able to afford the ad-supported version –and an offer made in flagrante to find you a guaranteed lowest motor insurance policy, might spoil the moment a bit.

    C: hardware oneupmanship will mean the shine will soon wear off your crappy old Diddy-O-Tron 4,5, with a measley four knocker presets –when your workmate upgrades to a Miff-O-Matic 6,1, with the infinitely adjustable nipple girth.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My sex droid

    dumped me for the microwave

  54. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes, but...

    How many would buy a Betty Rubble?

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bahahaha

    @AC 23:24 One new keyboard please.

    I can see these boinkbots (tm) being useful for other things.

    Such as teleconferencing, why go 4000 miles for a meeting when you can just upload some basic AI to the thing and record + interact with the others at the meeting.

    Although it would be hard to keep a straight face when talking to a clone of Betty Rubble complete with cartoon sized jugs.

    -AC/DC and when will these be in stores already?

  56. Andy Watt
    Stop

    Never going to happen.

    1. The software will never be reliable enough (no entendre intended)

    2. Reality cliff - only people who have never, or rarely, had sex with a real person will consistently use the services of a sexbot - I've seen the latest "avengers assemble" trailers and the hulk still looks like a bluescreened add-on with unconvincing skin (ok, he's green, but see my point?). It'll take a lot longer for the reality cliff to get bridged (sorry about the metaphor) as the closer you get, the further away it seems (the more subtle the dissonance, the more unsettling it is).

    Also, I reckon if it did ever happen (allowing this idea for a moment) it'd generate a whole new class of personality disorders and artificial psychoses resulting in a lot of very damaged individuals.

  57. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Terminator

    shirley shome mistake...

    "Anther economic by product would be a whole new IT/robotics industry vertical based on the creation, servicing and upgrading on fleets of humanised, sexualised, android sex armies."

    Surely it would be a horizontal market?

  58. CaptSmegHead
    Happy

    VoiceBox

    Will they come with a voice saying "me sucky sucky you ten dolla " ?

    1. Thorne

      Re: VoiceBox

      And for a bit more "Me love you long time"

  59. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    2050 is in fact 38 years from now!

    Relevant sci-fi story: "Manners of the Age", by H. B. Fyfe, 1952. Creepy.

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