Apple drops 'thermonuclear' patent bombshell Apple has launched a new patent assault on its competitors, one that appears to unleash the nukes that Steve Jobs reportedly told his biographer Walter Isaacson he was going to drop on Google's Android. "I'm going to destroy Android, because it's a stolen product," the late Apple cofounder told the author of the überpopular …
This is pretty funny, but don't forget the real joke here - teasing the fanbois about an iPhone5, then releasing a mere software update in the same case and calling it a new phone, then doing exactly the same with the iPad. How long before the users are blamed for holding that wrong each time they burn themselves? Anyway, this is surely the real secret to Apples wealth - by targeting those with lower IQ's, their isheep literally will buy anything they're told to.
Hats off El Reg, nice one. Could have posted a report on the stellar WP7 figures along with Nokias employee satisfaction rating being the highest in the tech business, too. But only today, natch.
Way to totally miss the spirit of the post, by spewing retreaded, same old blather in a pompous, self-important, preachy, superior tone. Oh, at least you included some totally made-up, likely false facts; too bad they ALSO were condescending at best, the very opposite of funny.
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This jokesuit is merely a toe in the water by Apple whose real atomic patent is the one that controls the use of the letter i ("whether lowercase, capitalized, iconificated, or otherwise embellished" to quote the patent) to start the name of a product or company or "other assemblage of humans".
Intel, ICI; Ice cream, Instant whip; Ireland, Iran: just a few of the well-known brands at risk from this patent.
Worse, it makes a general claim to the whole art of beginning a word with a letter at all. Some say this will drive all latinate alphabet users to adopt Chinese, at least in commercial writing and advertising.
Taking the piss out of Apple, patents, and the obesssions of your own commentards. Well done.
Can I also point out:
https://sweetshark.livejournal.com/10372.html&title=LibreOffice%20goes%20money%20printing
http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2012/03/lincoln-lawyer-possible-legal-fix-for-lincoln-barrier-crossing-delays/
http://linuxblog.darkduck.com/2012/04/hsiloof-linux-real-breakthrough-no-more.html
http://bmw.co.uk/bmwuk/about/news/0,,1156__181267300_,00.html
I fell for this completely, I didn't twig at all, that it was an April Fools, until I read the comments. Just goes to show that literally NOTHING surprises me in the whole patent war thing now. I actually laughed when I read it, not because I thought it was a good April Fools post, because I just can't help but laugh at the patent crap they keep throwing, if I didn't, I'd cry.
"From April, DHS vets all passengers from UK heading to East Canada, Cuba, the Carribbean & Mexico" even though the planes don't enter US airspace.
Took me a little searching to discover it wasn't an April fool's joke by The Independent (the article date could have been faked), those Americans are taking the piss and the UK government should grow a backbone and tell the US to fuck off.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn965-wheel-patented-in-australia.html
C'mon Reg, an April fools day joke should be dafter than reality to play fair!
This above from July, not April... Still, I don't trust Patent Office Clerks; they start thinking that time slows down when you go faster and other fantastical things. Nutters!
At a recent count Apple had OVER 800 patent claims against it which is more than it has claims against others.
If it were ever able to persuade a judge they had the rights to a rectangle, it would take minimal effort to make straight-sided object sprout curves.
QUOTE: "A quadrilateral having all four interior angles of 90°, opposite sides that are parallel, and congruent diagonals that bisect each other."'
So adding a curve would destroy the 90° argument, as well as the opposite sides that are parallel. Since it is early in the morning, my time, I'm not even going to figure the diagonals. But if that is 'thermonuclear' we have little to worry about.
Maybe this would be the patent claim that would force yet another patent law review world-wide.
What's next, the wheel or the circle? I think Fred Flintstone would have something to say about that. At least Yabba dabba doo!
Nice one Reg. You all owe me a new keyboard cause I just killed mine from the tea I was drinking while reading the patent. The whole Apple owning the "rectangle" thing had me laughing my ass off.
As for the delay in me posting this, its my day off so it shows you how much I care to check news sites :P
It's for a radiator valve :)
http://patimg1.uspto.gov/.piw?Docid=01042012&homeurl=http%3A%2F%2Fpatft.uspto.gov%2Fnetacgi%2Fnph-Parser%3FSect1%3DPTO1%2526Sect2%3DHITOFF%2526d%3DPALL%2526p%3D1%2526u%3D%25252Fnetahtml%25252FPTO%25252Fsrchnum.htm%2526r%3D1%2526f%3DG%2526l%3D50%2526s1%3D1,042,012.PN.%2526OS%3DPN%2F1,042,012%2526RS%3DPN%2F1,042,012&PageNum=&Rtype=&SectionNum=&idkey=NONE&Input=View+first+page
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The policy behind IP law is to encourage people to create new tools and new ways of solving problems. Today, IP law is simply a mechanism of corruption, a tool to keep the .01% in domination so no one can create anything that they will not then own. And it's just one reason why the 99.9% are being destroyed.
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