# Ever wondered how many limp todgers to the mile?

We know our regular readers are keen on unorthodox units of measurement, so you're invited today to while away the time until pub o'clock with an entertaining online Weird Converter. The website's creator explains that "while watching the Discovery Channel one day, listening to the narrators compare the size of a truck to blue …

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1. #### Beer!

Apparently "1 Average Amount of Urine Produced/Human/Day is equivalent to 4.226752818811 Can of Beer"

So, that's why lager is sold in packs of 4!

1. #### Re: Beer!

You're taking the piss!

1. #### Re: Beer!

Urine trouble now!

2. #### Re: Beer!

But I drink more beer than that in a day!

on average.

unfortunately.

3. #### Re: Beer!

You beat me to it: 1 Keg of Beer is equivalent to 39.11592192474 Average Amount of Urine Produced/Human/Day

2. #### "1 Inch is equivalent to 2.54000508001 Centimeter"

Talk about weird units. It's using US survey inches instead of normal inches!

1. #### Re: "1 Inch is equivalent to 2.54000508001 Centimeter"

Are you sure about that? Looks more like a rounding error. I always thought 1 inch = 2.54cm.

1. #### Re: "1 Inch is equivalent to 2.54000508001 Centimeter"

Centimeter? One hundred measuring devices? What do they measure, and in what units? Centimetres maybe?

1. #### @J.G.Harston

Have a thumb. ;o)

2. #### Re: rounding error

They must be using Intel chips then.

3. #### I think it is quite accurate

Weight of 1 Tom Cruise is equivalent to 453.6176003629 Average Bowel Movement

1. #### Re: I think it is quite accurate

Apparently you can fit 453.6176003629 bowel movements into a single 'big bag'

Therefore TC = 1 big bag of s**t (according to the weird conversion site - I wouldn't ever personally make such a comparison).

Now how much does a 'load of old bollocks' weigh.....

1. #### "how much does a 'load of old bollocks' weigh"

I think that would be about 1 x Steven Fry.

1. #### it would be easier

If you stuck to zarlbucks.

Being a measurement of either weight, tensile strength, volume and size.

It is simply based on the average size of an erection + or -.

For instance:

Zarlbuck + refers to fullness, tensile strength, length and volume.

Zarlbuck - refers to flop, softness etc.

Zarlbuck= refers to the difference between the two.

Easy

2. #### Re: I think it is quite accurate

So how much fudge could be packed into a Tom Cruise?

4. #### Significant digits, people!

I hate it when people don't handle significant digits correctly: all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits - your bowel movements would have to be controlled to picogram levels to be able to use that many digits.

Yes, it's for fun - but that doesn't mean you cannot get it right, as well.

1. #### Re: Significant digits, people!

1.0005677774045 pedantry points to you sir!

"Lost in Conversion" http://www.wastedtalent.ca/comic/lost-conversion

6. #### "1 Human Tongue is equivalent to 1.066666666667 Flaccid Penis"

Not for long....

1. #### Re: "1 Human Tongue is equivalent to 1.066666666667 Flaccid Penis"

That's because 1 Flaccid Penis + 1 Human Tongue = 1 Erect Penis.

1. #### Re: "1 Human Tongue is equivalent to 1.066666666667 Flaccid Penis"

Yes, but... which tongue?

7. #### Crays

I think that all smartphone and computer reviews done by El Reg should also give them a cray rating..

8. Shaq is 22.x flaccid penises. Is that *cold* flaccid penises or room temperature?

1. #### European or African?

"Shaq is 22.x flaccid penises."

Are those European or African?

The Python-esque one.

1. #### Re: European or African?

You beat me to it!

9. #### Hunh...Imagine that...

"Jennifer Aniston is the equivalent of 249.4896801996 average bowel movements"

After viewing some of her body of professional work, I would have thought it much more than that.

1. #### Re: "all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits"

Want pedantry?

Cough! Splutter!

Write 100 times :

Hoist WITH

Hoist WITH

Hoist ...

1. #### Re: "all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits"

From the days of badly implemented gunpowder - in this case, IIRC, a petard was the equivalent of a modern grenade. But to deliver a petard, you had to go running hell bent for leather into enemy territory, divest yourself of the ordnance, and high tail it out of there.

If you didn't high tail quickly enough, your petard would go off, flinging you into the air - and thus, you would be taken out by the weapon you delivered yourself.

Or, at least, so I've heard.

1. #### Re: "all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits"

It is by, but the origin is only loosely tied to gunpowder. Petard was a name for a gate-breaching bomb, but it was more to do with being lifted by your own flatulence.

11. #### Llamas

It takes an iPad about 6 times as long to discharge as two mating llamas.

I don't know why this knowledge makes my day better, but it does.

12. #### Llamas?

Shirley that's 1 Stig?