STUNNING NEW APPLE DEVICES that will follow the iPad 3 HD! Sources in the Asian component supply chain and others close to Cupertino have revealed to the Register that Apple intends to follow up its global fondle-slab dominance by introducing new and groundbreaking products intended to eliminate the flaws inherent in the slablet form factor. "It all makes sense when you think about it …
> The only flaw Apple perceive with tablets is that other companies are allowed to make them
People were making tablets years (over a decade) before iPad.
Apple watched, waited and then rewrote the segment with iPad and now dominate the market.
This despite the fact nearly everyone here said the iPad was just a big iPod and going to be a massive flop.
Apple don't mind people making other tablets, they do mind people making iPad knock offs.
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This post has been deleted by its author
And in the UK, assuming it costs £50, the above failure will render the retailer unavoidably liable for repair, replacement, or refund, via the implicit key contract condition formed by the Sale of Goods Act's 'reasonable durability' requirement, for up to as long a time as the price makes it reasonable the item should have lasted - which can be up to six years, but in the above example would probably be three.
Remember, the manufacturer warranty is a gratuitous third party promise and does not exclude the major obligations created by the retailer to you, when purchase is made, which are formed by SOGA, and which cannot be excluded, thanks to the Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts Regulations (which I gather codify existing doctrine in any case).
If it costs over £100, buy it on a credit card - because S75 of the Consumer Credit Act requires your credit card provider to assume the above obligations of the retailer if they cannot or will not fulfil them.
Raising my glass to the English Legal System.
The date format is also entirely logical, or at least more logical than the US format.
Reading from left to right the magnitude of the figures increases, day, month, year.
What's the logic behind the random sequence in the US format?
A more useful format I find is usually the reverse : year, month, day.
the iPurse - contains money that can only be spent on iThings.
the iNurse - robotic child minder shaped like Steve Jobs, with a calming voice that says "nanny knows best" whenever signs of of intelligence break through.
the iCurse - a portable device for practitioners of witchcraft.
the iTerse - speech synthesiser that reduces whole sentences to bad-tempered single words.
the iWorse - USA's next president.
Hey, you could attach a keyboard and some sort of pointing device to the front of it, so you wouldn't get fingerprints all over the screen. And maybe a hinge so it could fold away and further protect the screen.
I don't know what you'd call it, though... an iLaptop, perhaps?
A slate with a raised dock? Whatever will they think of next? http://jkontherun.blogs.com/jkontherun/HP%20docking%20station%20003.jpg circa 2003... mine's still going strong and is a valuable component of my workflow because it runs the same apps as my workstation...
But don't you know that portable devices with touch interfaces are the way of the future? :P
Thank you for the sanest response to this silliness in quite a while. Sure I love having these things in my pocket (not an iPad of course, nor a canoe, while we're at it) but they're essentially specialized devices or just useful toys. A 40" LCD and wireless keyboard have significant virtues, unless of course I'm just a Luddite. ;)
I think I'll stick to my desktop/keyboard/mouse and laptop for now .... at some point there might be some real tech worth buying that actually brings some new benefit, rather than consumer electronic technology produced to generate revenue and profit for shareholders of companies who desperately needed new "gadgets" to sell in a falling PC sales arena.
lol this maybe a joke article but you mean a laptop right? what happens when people start getting sore fingers from hitting the bottom touch screen all day? maybe a keyboard? that sounds like a great idea!
Quote
"The engineers went back to work, and swiftly came up with a new concept in which part of the touchscreen would be positioned near-vertically in front of the user and another, used primarily for text entry"
/quote
I think part of the problem is that it's not even a Friday, let alone April 1st.
I did get slightly confused and disorientated in the 4th dimension when I read this, I did find it funny though.
And because I'm still slightly disoriented, have a drink, it's some day in the week, the future is happening as you read this, the weekend approaches.
" Apparently, secret experiments in Cupertino's labs have looked into putting enlarged iPads up on raised stands for a better user experience, but these were a failure.
"Three things came out of those trials," says our source.
"First: you've now got to reach up to get at the touchscreen, which gives you another set of aches and pains. Second: You're getting smeary finger tracks all over the display."
In other words, in situations that demand it, USE A FUCKING LAPTOP OR DESKTOP.
such a raft of devices could only be complete if they are able to craft a digital auditory hair comb to binary tickle (tickle on / tickle off) the hair in our inner ear canals and deliver true digital sound to our brains. this would all but eliminate anlogue hiss from the world at large and render a complete and immediate audio experience never before experienced by mankind.
copyright, patent pending, trademarks for all except where already trademarked, iDigitalEar, iDigiEar, iDigiWear, iHearYou, iHearU, uHearI, uHearMe, uHeardMe, iListen,
Over and out.
This article reminds of one from about 1985ish in 80MIcro magazine describing the wonders and features of a new "word processor". They were describing paper, pencil with a rubber on the end, scissors and glue.
Icon redefintion. Don't teach granny how to suck eggs.
(Personally, I always thought you blew them. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. Blow. Suck. One or the other.)
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