Ten... Valentine's Day gifts for him

Reg Hardware Sex Week Valentine's Day is all about sharing, and while you can show your affection in many ways that won't cost a penny, it's also an opportunity to enhance your other half's lifestyle. Whether it's brightening up a dreary flat or indulging a passion, the choice is yours and so here are are ten treats that may …

[Sorry that handle is already taken.]

Aha!

This sure beats the "ten gadgets that have been painted pink" from last week.

[CT]

To be honest, I'm not sure it does.

As a Reg-reading bloke, my reaction was a bit meh.

[Sorry that handle is already taken.]

@CT

Some of these gave me a giggle, I only groaned at the last one.

[jai]

really, i'm getting the last one for myself if the missus doesn't...

[LarsG]

AND..

as usual I will get a shirt that does not fit.

[AdamWill]

yup

Surely to keep things even, this article should have featured ten over-priced, under-specced gadgets painted blue?

[Studley]

"Geordie La Forge"?

"haddaway with t'warp core, pet"

[Ian Ferguson]

Have I missed something

When did it become tradition to give gifts on Valentine's day, beyond a slap up meal out and a bunch of roses, and particularly from her to him? (him-to-him possibilities acknowledged and excluded)

I hope you have 'Ten gadgets to give on Easter' and 'Ten gadgets to give on St. Andrew's day' lined up.

[Sergiu Panaite]

Yeah but...

no. I don't really find any of thsese that exciting, and I'm a sucker for gadgets and general shiny-ness...

[censored]

Hmmmm

Out of the entire world of toys, gadgets and tech you manage to choose 10 things that I would divorce over if they were given to me as a gift...

[yoinkster]

I think you'll find the male version of valentine's day is much cheaper and is much easier for the other half to figure out what has to be done to "pass the test". None of the "omg, is this the right gift" or "have I spent enough this year?!" worries that males have to deal with (and get wrong regardless of success). Anyway:

March 14th - Steak and Blowjob Day. http://www.officialsteakandblowjobday.com/

[CADmonkey]

LOL that's my birthday

is that you, darling?

[Dan 55]

Site comes with a free trojan

and it's not the rubber kind.

[DrXym]

Someone enlighten me

Most of the items on this list look expensive and / or kitsch. Why would anyone want to receive something like a fake jelly fish tank?

[Some Beggar]

I obviously wasn't paying attention

but when did Valentine's day become an excuse to buy kitchy crap in a desperate attempt to distract attention away from the demise of a romantic relationship?

[Graham Bartlett]

Guitar junk

Pickmaster plectrum maker? Well since every guitarist has their own preference on pick shape, a one-size-fits-all shape is little use. Plus for the price of that gadget, I bought a bag of as many favourite picks as I'm likely to need for the next 20 years.

[stucs201]

You've done these two roundups in the wrong order

Blokes might be looking for inspiration this late, but the women will have got things organised ages ago.

[Khaptain]

Marketing Wet Dream

If my wife dropped to the level of buying me gifts because the "market" decided that that is what she should be doing, then I would have swapped her for the "intelligent" model a long time ago.

[cosymart]

Goggles....

So a set of goggles that are designed to be worn all day ski-ing or on a mountaineering trek only have a 7 hour battery life!!! Rubbish.

[CADmonkey]

Thats why you buy two sets

cheapskate!

[AdamWill]

well

a) presumably they don't become opaque after the battery runs out

b) you could turn them off when on lifts or taking a break, I guess. No reason to turn it on except when you're actually on a run.

[Tom 35]

presumably they don't become opaque after the battery runs out

No, they only do that when peril is detected.

[AdamWill]

Re: presumably they don't become opaque after the battery runs out

ten points, sir.

[Tom 35]

No problem

I'm sure the type of people who will buy them will crash into a tree the first run while they are watching the speed.

[BlinkenLights]

Land Fill

Ten gadgets that would get thrown in the bin without even being opened.

[Cameron Colley]

Firebird X

For rich people who can't even tune their own guitar, never mind play it.

[annodomini2]

How many of the 'him's on here...

...would probably be happier with a case of beer and a b**w job!

[BorkedAgain]

Who needs beer?

[Steve 16]

A little late maybe?

Fantastic timing. Article published a day in advance of the event and the Jellyfish tank is expected to come in to stock in mid April.

[GotThumbs]

Nothing worth my money or my time.....

Really?

There is nothing here that would really be a gift used over time. All would be forgotten and a complete waste of money.

Major thumbs down on these lame choices.

[Anonymous Coward]

Gifts for him...

... and laughs for her (and anyone else fortunate enough to be in the vicinity), since at least a couple of these are guaranteed to make you look like a complete bell-end.

[Local Group]

As Hamet said when he saw the honey thighs in Black Milk.

"Dude, her bod is "more honored in the breech than in the observance."

The Dane's way of saying he wanted a little in 'n out.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Anonymous Coward]

Nothing here for me

It all looks a lot of old tat

What did your partner of over a decade do as a display of undying love?

Bought me some chopsticks and a pillow to send me to sleep

I hate these shoddy shopfront lists The Reg do. If they're trying to blag a few quid as affiliates to Amazon, at least be upfront about it and stop insulting me