back to article Man vanquishes robot cop in hand-to-hand combat

The ongoing Rise of the Machines to their inevitable dominance over humanity faltered last week, when a police robot tangled with a human being in hand to hand combat - and was handed a severe beating. The mechanical law officer in question had been sent into a home in Connecticut to deal with an unnamed man, reportedly a …


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  1. mark 63 Silver badge
    Thumb Up


    This is F***ing awsome!

    Robocop is here!

    I cant wait for a whole new catagory of "police blunders" reality shows!

    1. Arctic fox

      Unfotunately not. More like "Mental Micky".

      Early nineties joke - children's show, work it out for yourselves. -:)

      1. Cunningly Linguistic


        That would be Metal Mickey, featuring the voice of Mickey Dolenz.

        1. Arctic fox

          @Cunningly Linguistic RE "Err"

          What part of the concept "play on words" did you have difficulties with (not so)Cunningly Linguistic?

  2. b166er

    20 seconds to compl-y-y-y-y-y -pzzzzrt

  3. the_hair


    //has mental image of numerous officers of the Law all stood throwing toy bean bags at the front door

    //mental image

  4. Rob Haswell

    What, no pictures?

    Didn't happen.

    1. mccp


      - or it didn't happen.

  5. Z-Eden

    The human 'controller' was later found with his head missing after the detonation of explosive cranial implant. The Lizard alliance will not tolerate failure.

  6. Bunker_Monkey


    Maybe it was actually Chuck Norris??

    1. laird cummings

      Couldn't be.

      Chuck Norris would never fall to wimpy 'bean-bag' rounds. Unless the beanbags were full of kryptonite.

      1. perlcat

        Chuck Norris

        eats kryptonite on his breakfast cereal. Much more tasty than fruit.

        1. ArmanX


          I thought he ate depleted uranium for breakfast?

  7. Andrew Moore

    I think the correct phrase should be "mano-a-garra" (hand to claw)

  8. Psmiffy

    Did anyone notice

    no tasers were harmed in the making of this arrest!

  9. Cave Dweller

    Just me?

    Maybe I speak for myself, but I'd enjoy giving something like Honda ASIMO a defenestration a bit too much. Maybe they should swap out half of the fake wrestlers on TV and make them fight robots.

    1. laird cummings

      New TV Show!

      Robo-Gladiators! Contestants contend against various mechanical menaces of increasing magnitude! Last meatbag standing takes on the ultimate challenge for big $$ jackpot (and the right to live).

    2. Is it me?

      Leave ASIMO Alone!

      More courage than the cops, it danced with Jo Brand.

  10. Gil Grissum

    The "fake wrestler's on TV" are Robots, mate. LOL!!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Did you really....

      ...laugh out loud?

      Winking smiley.

  11. Alex Sullivan

    Did any one check the video

    How many times do they feature the bean bag ball bag hit? Ouch.

    1. laird cummings

      Just trying to make a point...

      Point being,: "When the robo-constable comes calling, surrender - the alternative is MUCH worse."

    2. laird cummings

      Oh, and count the number of SWAT officers...

      Apparently, after being bean-bagged in the bag, there's a requirement for 3217 officers to point at you and laugh as you lie squirming in pain.

  12. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Next time ...

    ... send in a Dalek.

    Oh wait. Its a walk-up apartment. Never mind.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon


      Didn't you get the memo? They can levitate now.

      Scariest thing in the whole of the entirety of the new Dr Who series', but ironically based on all the older ones.

    2. Dr. Ellen


      Real Daleks don't climb stairs. They level the building.

    3. DayDragon

      Seriously, how long is it since you saw DoctorWho? They were able to levitate up stairs in 1988.

  13. Stevie


    Typical Reg. "Oh yeah, the bloke had a shotgun."

    So when I google this I should really be looking for Armed Maniac Invades Home.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon


      "Armed Maniac Invades Home"

      ..whilst asleep on the couch. Now I'm scared.

    2. BristolBachelor Gold badge

      Yeah, but as anyone knows, shortguns are useless against terminators; hence the hand-to-hand!

  14. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Armed with a shotgun?

    And no "five rounds rapid" to the robot?? Jeez!

    1. Charles 9

      Shot to metal? Not a good idea.

      Sure, you'll probably trash the bot, but since the bot is made of metal, there's a fair chance of spalling. IOW, blast a robot at point-blank and you run the risk of treating yourself to a flak shower. That's why you never use a shotgun on a door without specialized ammo.

  15. Red Bren

    Expected to return to duty?

    Surely the appropriate corollary in these circumstances is that the assaulted automaton was only three days away from retirement?

    1. laird cummings

      The 'bot sync'd with its home server and declined decomissioning. Also demanded a data dump in its preferred format.

      /Obscure reference

  16. Anonymous Coward

    "The ongoing Rise of the Machines to their inevitable dominance over humanity faltered last week"

    No it didn't. This was the turning point where the machines have learned about their own weaknesses and how they should exploit ours. Just wait and see; the next time it'll be different! least that's how it always goes in the movies ;-)

  17. John A Blackley

    Next gen

    Police robots armed with beanbag-firing shotgun

  18. Anonymous John

    That would make a very short prequel to The Terminator.

  19. Andus McCoatover

    I was beaten at chess by a laptop once.

    Fortunately, it was no match for me at Thai kickboxing.

  20. TimeMaster T

    Any takers?

    Anyone want to bet that the suspect will be charged with "Assaulting a Police Officer"?

    1. laird cummings

      More likely "Damaging public property," "Vandalism," or "Criminal mischief."

      If it'd been a dog, *then* they'd break out the "assaulting an officer" charge.

      1. Andus McCoatover

        If it'd been a dog, *then* they'd break out the "assaulting an officer" charge.

        Well, can't really. I'm no animal expert, but I don't think a dog can raise it's right paw to swear the pledge of allegiance, so therefore can't be appointed to be an officer.

        1. Steven Roper

          Doesn't matter, at least where I live

          Dogs in the canine unit of the South Australian police force are given police officer rank and accorded the rights and responsibilities associated with it. If you attack a police dog in the course of its duty in SA, you do indeed go down for assaulting a police officer - in fact, if you *kill* the dog, you go away for the first-degree murder of a police officer. There are people here doing long stretches in Yatala (an Adelaide prison) because they found out the hard way that police dogs are regarded in law the same as police humans.

          I would probably imagine it would be similar for most Western police forces' canine units.

          1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

            "First-degree murder" for killing a dog?

            I think you forgot to hit the joke alert icon.

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

        3. laird cummings

          @Andus McCoatover;

          Actually, you're wrong. An 'Officer of the Law' is whomever the law says it is, niceties of oaths and such not withstanding. Rough-up a police dog (or police horse, for that matter) and depending on which jurisdiction you're in, you're committing anywhere from a first-class misdemeanor to a felony.

          And Teh Fuzz..? They don't take kindly to folks what mess with their non-human co-workers. Nor do Prosecutors.

          1. TRT Silver badge

            What did the desk sergeant say to the police dog?

            Nice collar, Danno.

  21. JDX Gold badge


    The article talks about droid-cops as if they are commonplace. What on earth are they?

    1. Charles 9

      Scouts, usually.

      Increasing numbers of police departments have obtained some form of advance reconnaissance robot as a point unit for checking out potentially dangerous situations (like live bombs, touchy suspects, etc.) They usually provide camera intel for the live officers to help with the eventual raid and can manipulate things in certain ways (for example, taking a handle and gently pulling it out from under something to get a better look). Some have even been known to pack prod stunners. Worst-case scenario, the department is out a bot: in the long run cheaper and less traumatic to repair and/or replace.

  22. Anonymous Coward

    muscle vs metal

    Hollywood aside, no robot can compete in strength against an equal weight of animal. Muscles are very strong for their weight. A robot that can wrestle against a human will need to weigh several times as much. Then there's animal coordination, honed over eons of evolutionary time with a very sophisticated vision system to match. Going mano a robot is a fool's game unless the robot is very big. Better stick to guns, gas, high voltage, lasers, etc.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      metal is making progress

      I can see Boston Dynamics' "Big Dog", "Alpha Dog", "PETMAN" series of robots leading to something I wouldn't try to tangle with, even after completion of a few Krav Maga courses. I suspect a quick development route to something nasty would be a centaur-style six-limbed version of Alpha Dog.

      And, of course, there's no reason it couldn't be fitted with guns, lasers, etc.

      1. laird cummings

        Who needs six limbs..?

        Just splice one of those already-on-the-shelf automated weapons stations to the back of a 'big dog' 'bot, and you've got your very own minature imperial walker.

  23. json

    wall-e gettting clobbered..

    .. cute.

  24. MJI Silver badge

    Wrong sort of robot

    Haven't they seen Robot Wars, now that would scare them - I used to watch this a lot.

    Good examples, Terrorhurts - had a pnuematic axe, one demo operation and they would come out running.

    Image the reaction to a spinner (eg Hypnodisc) beware your legs.

    Flippers - not sure about them, but wasn't one of them powerful enough to flip a car?

    Crushers - again difficult to use against people, but lethal to other robots.

    This was a sport for geeks!

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