back to article BOFH: The Explosive Christmas Evacuation

Everyone loves the last day. The prospect of holidays ahead always puts people in a good mood which in turn leads to generosity, indulgence and poorly-thought-through dalliances in front of recording devices. But more than that, in the season of goodwill those in the service side of the company get some recognition for the …


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  1. Tom7

    I'm losing it

    "So much brandy they're probably liable for excise." I read that and just *knew* it had to be important, but couldn't figure out why.

    Merry Christmas, one and all.

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      "Why do you think they're traditionally bomb-shaped?" said Tiny Tim.

  2. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    Water sprinklers

    I do hope that the water sprinklers in mission control had been blocked.

    Still, for co-workers to be helping each other out of their wet clothes should help improve the Christmas spirit of togetherness.

    You see, sysadmins have your best interests at heart.

    1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge


      And all that diesel going spare once the generators sre sold............

    2. Alfred Loo

      You do know that the water from the overhead sprinklers stinks?

  3. 1Rafayal

    Sad, but true....

    So many unsung heroes in IT!

  4. Locky


    Not many comments regarding "return to form" here today. Is that because EVERYONE ELSE IS IN THE PUB

    Bar humbug employers indeed

    1. Anonymous Coward

      I'm stuck at work too

      And I'm self employed.

      Where did it all go so wrong?

      1. Anonymous South African Coward
        Coat when the greedy fat porkers decided to cut out people they deem redundant in order to line their nasty pocketses... After all, there's other people left to take up the extra work...

        I'm leaving for greener pastures, where there's no fat oinkers oinking for my money... (I wish...)

      2. LaeMing


        Because your boss is a bastard.

        But at least you respect him.

  5. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    I thought the BOFH was being incredibly understanding and reasonable. Must be the time of year.

    1. perlcat

      I suspect...

      that his boss or some other suicidal fool has diverted the dosh. There will be blood & viscera on the walls once the perpetrator has been found.

  6. DI_Wyman

    All I got...

    ..from the Boss this morning was a cheap bottle of Australian red wine. At least I think it is wine. I am a feared his car may suffer a flat tyre when it gets dark this afternoon.

    Merry Christmas Simon.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Merry Christmas, D I Wyman!

      Errr... didn't you /mean/ to post that as Anonymous-C?

      Oh well, we can always hope that your boss doesn't bother to check out El Reg over Christmas...

    2. perlcat

      Now, don't be going off on Australian wines.

      "A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity ..."

  7. SiliconSlick

    Merry Christmas Simon!

    Thanks again for another year of tales from the BOFH. Hope your holiday is a happy one.

    SS (with no puddings here in Texas to work with, but with a ample supply of "cow pies" (which burn much better) to use instead)

  8. The Jay

    30 minutes remaining... Feel his pain!

    Last day, I've come to an end of my number crunching and I'm ready for the off. Only gift was a bottle opener with a nice splintered pine handle.

    30 minutes and counting... then my lady and I will be buying booze, and car shopping, then back to hers for a Merry time!

    Happy Festivities BOFH and all other El Reg regulars! I'll be raising a beer, whiskey and wine glass to all.

  9. Don Rickert
    Thumb Up

    Thanks, Simon

    Aaaah, a very nice read this fine Friday. Happy Holidays to all. Well, to most. Okay, to a few...

  10. Anonymous South African Coward

    Flaming tats

    I taut I taw a flaming puddy tat

  11. Anonymous South African Coward

    To all fellow BOFH's

    May you have a most Enjoyable Time, Be Safe, and See the New Year in with much cheer and goodwill.

    See you all in 2012... trusting that you've snaffled The Bossly Unit's Ark tickets some way or the other... :trollface:

  12. Anonymous South African Coward

    Crêpe Suzette

    What about these? They do flame as well... :trollface:

  13. James O'Brien


    So nice to have this for the final one of the year...great return to form.

    Course I wonder just what happens on the first with all those extra barrels on diesel.

    Happy holidays all. And to all a flaming good night off to booze it up.

    1. maladmin

      what diesel?

      i thought it all turned to larger.

      btw just googled "purchasing anonymiser service", either a business opportunity or someone needs an SEM?

  14. earl grey

    Sad, really......

    Best holiday wishes to all.

    1. Isendel Steel

      And to all a goodnight...

  15. G2

    napalm pudding!

    "Plan B was much the same, the only difference being they were tossed, flaming into the offices concerned."

    rofl, great use of a napalm / molotov pudding... tasty AND sticky incendiary device :D

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    so nice, to get back from my christmas eve party to find voicemail from my boss

    vacation time for December 24th requested on 6-19-2011 Check.......

    Vacation time for December 25th requested on 7-19-2011 (work schedule changed so had to make an addition)..... Check

    arriving home from attending the girlfriends family christmas party to find that I have 3 separate voicemails from my boss wanting to know where I was as I was scheduled to work today with only the 25th showing as a day that I was scheduled for being off on...... (Rage levels increasing!!!!!!!)

    logging into the company's vacation request website and verifying that yep the December 24th request is indeed still in the system and was never acknowledged by my boss who had stated that everyone who had asked off could be off as the schedule was covered..... (Rage levels have just quadrupled......)

    Time to start looking for another job this is just plain out bull crap......

  17. Bernard M. Orwell

    On the first day of xmas...

    Our corporate overlords gave to us...

    one rebid process, two new service models, three redeployments, four broken tape drives, five pointless calls, six wastes of time, seven brand new spreadsheets, eight Lean Team tossers, nine pointless restores, ten failed laptops, eleven hours of unpaid overtime and a threat of redundancy.

    gotta love it when you get TUPe'd just before xmas. During a rebid. And a service model realignment.

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