iPhone users get iJustHadAShag bedpost-notch boast app

iOS users who fondle more than a slab now have an app to help them report the fact instantly, without having to compose the previously-requisite 140-character double entendre. I Just Made Love lets the user select the kind of relationship, and positions explored, then geotags the entry with a Google Maps mashup so everyone can …

[Arctic fox]

May I be permitted to correct this report a touch?

"iOS users who fondle more than a slab now *and then* have an app to help them report the fact"

[DAN*tastik]

Already have so many ideas to market it...

Grindr plugin is the first!

With geotagging it would help you remember which neighbours you have already had a coffee with, so you can avoid them and make new local friends

[Metz]

I'm sure there's another article...

... somewhere around here with the comments filled by fanbois berating the quality of the Android market place. Really? REALLY?!

Paris, because...because....oh I give up.

[Anonymous Coward]

I want to make a comment

But for some reason I just can't find the strength

[Mike Hunt 1]

Fornication foibles

The question on Gizmodo asks "Can somebody tell me what kind of helpless imbecile wants to broadcast where he or she just have had sex, down to the GPS location and sexual position?" is surely answered thus:

An iPhone owner

Nuff said!

(Paris: Well there is one download guaranteed)

[Error Message]

Seconded

That's consistent with the fact that there are only two kinds of "lovers": those who actually have sex, and those who talk about having sex.

[Robert Ramsay]

Arrrgh

CIVILISATION IS OFFICIALLY OVER

[Robocat]

Reminds me of the College Humour sketch

Odd how real life follows comedy...

NSFW

http://blog.collegehumor.com/post/3068719109/foursquare-for-sex-dont-check-in-without-her

[Anonymous Coward]

hmm...

Fail for the lack of camera integration because, as everyone knows, the internet's response is likely to be 'PoiDH'.

[Chris Miller]

There's a word for people who would want an app like this

And that word is 'virgin'.

[Anonymous Coward]

Says the guy...

Posting on a technology websites forum at 10 o'clock in the evening.

[Bakunin]

Missing option

It seems to lack the mostly like used position for that user base; the five finger shuffle.

[Anonymous Coward]

The accelerometer

The built-in accelerometer detects the activity and shos you a different menu of positions to choose from.

[Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face]

There's two people in most of those "positions" icons. I'm sure that's one two many for most apple fanbois.

[leeph]

Wow, another pointless, stupid 'fucking' app. Is this newsworthy? I'll answer that for you. NO.

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you do it on a boat?

Or did you do it with a goat?

(with apologies to Dr Seuss)

[Anonymous Coward 15]

There's a song

about this sort of thing...

[Jimbo 6]

Will that be Transvision Vamp, "I Don't Care" ?

[eSeM]

Whats The Point?

Doubt this app will get used very much, masturbation doesn't count.

[John G Imrie]

iJustMadeLove

to Rosie Palm and her 5 daughters.

[Stuart Castle]

Maybe in the future

they could get Siri to rate you based on how loud your other half yells, and what he or she yells?

[Anonymous Coward]

Nice iconography

Is that the London 2012 Olympics logo I can see on there? Oh no, wait...

[zb]

Wankers

They do not have a box for Mrs Hand and her five lovely daughters - by far the most likely activity of anyone downloading this app.

[Tchou]

Was this app made by Samsung to make iPhone users look worse?

Or was Samsung right in the first place with their adds?

( Hard time to decide between "Joke" or "Troll" icon d:^° )

[Ian North]

How the hell did that get past Apple's censors?!

[Mike Hunt 1]

Re: How the hell did that get past Apple's censors?!

Easy!

There are words in the app that they just don't comprehend. They are:

I + just + had + a + shag

None of them understand it when used in this context.

[Hollerith 1]

Call me a cynic

I think this will mostly be used by sad dweebs who aren't doing anything. Or at least with anyone but themselves. It will be the latest version of the imaginary girlfriend.

And any chap (it seems to be aimed at chaps) who pauses to notify the world of his, erm, situation, risks joining the sad dweeb club about 5 seconds afterwards.

[Anonymous Coward]

Shurely IJUSTHADALOBOTOMY would be far more appropriate.

[laird cummings]

Kiss-n-Tell for geeky cads...

Seriously - Do cads really need a new way to brag?

[Mike Judge]

strange

There was me thinking all iPhone users were total wankers

[Kevin Reilly]

this is definetly one for the jokers

Just think where you could go to and post ! Blackpool Tower, The o2, Spaghetti junction, The White Cliffs of Dover. Parliament Square, Buckingham Palace, The White House, The Vatican, Alcatraz, Wembley stadium @ the cup final. the possibilities are endless.

[Matt Piechota]

That's it.

Android just can't compete with high quality apps like this, I'm switching.

[Anonymous Coward]

the winpho port adds

...and I'm all by myself....

[Aaron Em]

Frat boy bullshit

That is all.

[Richard 81]

We've come a long way

...and this is humanity's zenith.

[Wize]

...options limited to one partner...

So it won't handle those flying solo when joining the mile high club.

[Anonymous Coward]

What? No threesome button?

How the hell are you supposed to brag properly without buttons for things like "Threesome" and "Famous person"?

[JimC]

Don't worry you're not really

" at risk of quoting Tina Turner "

'cos it was written by Terry Britten and Graham Lyle...

[Anonymous Coward]

Thanks for the inspiration

I'll go start designing iMaginaryGirlfriend, which sends you "texts" and sometimes phones you - according to your schedule - to make your 14 year old friends think you've pulled.

Exclusive to iPhone! Because that's where the market is.

[Anonymous Coward]

frequently bought together

Does it show recommendations a la Customers Who Did This Here Also Did That There?

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm all for a laugh and definately for taking money from suckers prepared to pay for this sort of shite, but is this what the human race has come to? Making time to use an expensive gadget to record positions during your list of horizontal dance moves?

At this rate I don't think the human race will ever rise above that 37% we managed to get down our evolutionary path!

[LarsG]

COULD LEAD TO

Legal action. If you are faffing with your phone you are not giving 100%, a not so satisfied lady might object to the publication of your 'GOAL'.

It's true your honour, he was always playing with his phone.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why is...

... one of the figures pink and the other blue?

[Ben Rosenthal]

Where is my...

"iJustDroppedAMassiveSteamer" app?

I'm a happily co-habiting man so I don't get too much use for the one in the article :D

[Anonymous Coward]

iJustHadAShag - Translation

I just watched Top Gear while wanking

Rating out of 5: Didn't shoot my load until

1pt - After the credits

2pts - Saw the first red car that wasn't a Ferrari

3pts - Any colour Ferrari except red

4pts - A red Ferrari

5pts - Caught a glimpse of Jeremy Clarkson

[TRT]

Well...

I wondered how to record my purchase of an Axminster. Now there's an app for that.

[Jimbo 6]

I was mistaken, then

I foolishly believed this was aimed at gourmands, who may recently have dined on a seabird of the North Atlantic related to the cormorant

[Anonymous Coward]

Shake in awe

at the quality of apps on the Apple store...

Anyone that claims Apple has a higher quality of app is clearly a braindead moron. (or considers this to be a quality app).

[Atonnis]

Surely...

...instead of all the options of positions there should just be a big button that says 'Doesn't Matter'

[TRT]

But...

If I visit a prostitute, do I have to pay Apple a cut?

[Error Message]

Only if

You hired her though the iHo app.

[Anonymous Coward]

Just wait...

For the younger readers who still have them, just wait till your grandparents get this app.

Enjoy the mental image. :)

[<shakes head>]

people on here really don't interact with most of the 12-16 yearold who have iphones who are happy to record all their exploits no matter how silly for postarity on the interwebs.

[ManiK67]

Assumedly

there will be an "..and then she turned into a donkey M'lud" for Nigerian iPhone owners!!!

[Andy99]

Do you think it gives achievements?

[Anonymous Coward]

Loners could always hook it up...

... with Siri, I suppose...