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back to article Oedipal shower romp wins crap sex award

US author David Guterson has walked off with this year's Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award, for an admirable contribution to the genre in his novel Ed King. The book is ominously described as "a re-imagining of the Oedipus myth", and the judges were particularly impressed with "the part where a mother has sex with her …

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  1. Thomas 4
    IT Angle

    As an audiologist

    I can safely say that I have never had to put a set of headphones on a vagina. I have however, heard rumours of female colleagues experimenting with the vibrating bone conductor though....

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    1. Kool-Aid drinker
      Reply Icon

      As a hearing-impaired person

      After many years of innocence, I shall now wonder where the bone conduction headset has been prior to it being placed upon my head by a smiling female audiologist....

      5 0
  2. Bumpy Cat
    Headmaster

    Bit unfair to Murakami

    That particular sex scene in 1Q84 was between a possessed dude and some sort of spirit half-person. It's not supposed to be normal sex!

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  3. Johnny Canuck

    I always liked the line "His eyes slid down the front of her dress". eewww.

    7 0
  4. Michael Souris
    Headmaster

    Word order

    Wouldn't that read better as "with too blunt a pin" ?

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  5. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Paris Hilton

    May I be the first....

    .... to use a Paris icon

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    1. atomic jam
      Reply Icon
      Gimp

      @May I be the first..

      Yes!

      Now to slip into something a little more comfortable.

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  6. yoinkster
    Thumb Up

    This, ladies and gentlemen, is why we pay so much for our Register subscriptions.

    Keep up the good work chaps!

    3 0
  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hilarious

    ""an 'impossibly stiff, impossibly eloquent cock' that 'poked her now from the front and now from the back and now from the side',""

    I am still laughing, thank you. :-)

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    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Reply Icon
      Joke

      Background music for scene

      U2's "I still haven't found what I was looking for"

      6 0
  8. Mr Young
    Joke

    "eloquent cock"

    Is my (not so unique after all) talking penis a fail then? Or are you talking about a talkative bird? I am confused - maybe Playmobil would help?

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Shower romp? Bar of soap...?

    Sounds like good clean fun to me...

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    You can't make this shit up

    {subject}

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