back to article Mozambique menaced by flesh-eating bananas

Banana sales in Mozambican capital Maputo have taken a serious hit as a result of email and text message warnings of the dire consequences of contact with killer plantains. In response to a hoax alert that bananas imported from KwaZulu-Natal province in neighbouring South Africa were carrying the necrotizing fasciitis …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge


    is good for you.

    Any phallic jokes?

  2. Blue eyed boy

    As the Daily Mail once put it

    "There are not many spiders found on bananas that bite."

    Now we know why.

    1. Big-nosed Pengie

      There are bananas that bite?

      See title.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. ravenviz Silver badge

      I didn' t know that bananas bite!

    4. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Paris Hilton

      Obligatory phallic reference

      You don’t normally find spiders in bunches of bananas and I’d think the reason is because bananas are transported in a unripened state and are ripened by exposing then to xylene gas, and considering spiders have such poor respiratory systems, probably kills them.

      And now the real reason for making a post

      Paris, ‘cos she likes to eat bananas . . . . . . . . . . oh hang on, that wasn’t a banana, was it?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    The whole country's gone bananas, then?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The beauty of gullibility

    Why don't we ever use it for a good cause? For instance, we could eradicate ivory poaching with an email stating that there was a growing wave of butt raping by horny bullet proof pachyderms, supported by some scientific sounding latin terms such as Elephantis Bangingyouranus or something.

    1. skeptical i

      "You're not here for the hunting, are you."


    2. HMB

      If I'm an ivory poacher, then it's my living, without it I'm lost. If I want a banana and hear about that, well it's not hard to eat other fruit instead.

  5. TheRealRoland


    I should spread a rumor that looking at my bank account # and SSN can cause something similar...

  6. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    Depressingly familiar

    The only real difference between this idiotic scare story and the ones I usually read is that this one appears to be happening abroad.

    However, perhaps now that it has arrived at El Reg, the UK tabloids will pick up the wrong end of the stick and by next week bananas will be tuppence a ton in my local supermarkets. That would be nice. I like bananas.

  7. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton


    Just goes to show how easy it is to spread the ignorance and deliberate misinformation "Fred Singer Style" around and have it propagated even further by stupid mononeurons, all of whom are far too lazy to think for themselves!

  8. heyrick Silver badge

    Anybody remember the film "Danger Island"?

    (see subject)

  9. Rick Brasche

    now, follow the money

    find out whose business is currently profitting from this misinformation, and you'll find the source of the "prank".

    Information is a weapon. Wield responsibly.

  10. Red Bren

    I for one

    anticipate the overthrow of our simian overlords by curvy, yellow, flesh-eating liberators. It will make a great documentary - "Fall of the Planet of the Apes!"

  11. Anonymous Coward

    more seriously

    If that email was sent by a foreign government, it probably is now an act of war.

  12. Anonymous Coward

    "Hoax Alert"

    Shouldn't the headline be

    Mozambique NOT menaced by flesh-eating bananas

    Added to which, that would make it the kind of news that we all want to hear!

  13. Darrell

    not so much rise of the machines as rise of the plants

    This is Darwins nightmare. Bananas are moving into Triffid territory.

    First they learnt to walk, now they're biting back.

    I'm buying myself a flamethrower and moving to the isle of wight

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like