back to article Fake doc cuffed in concrete arse shocker

Miami cops last week slapped the cuffs on a transgendered woman accused of performing a buttock enhancement with "cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant". The unnamed victim of the procedure, keen to sport a more shapely derrière, approached Oneal Ron Morris, 30, in May 2010 on the recommendation of a friend, CBS reports. …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WTF

    Seriously.. wtf?

    1. Marvin the Martian

      And it's not like the mineral oil will ever come out of that bloodstream again; the rest seems OK if you survive the first week or two.

    2. Jesthar
      Facepalm

      Indeed. Sounds like a potential CSI episode...

      ... maybe entitled "How Do You Solve A Problem Like My Rear?"

  2. Mark Berry

    Well, made a right arse of that.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    man, that's a

    heavy bummer

  4. JimC

    How long before the bustle comes back?

    fashion eh: if you didn't see it it would be hard to believe it...

  5. KirstarK

    WTF is up with that arse.

    its almost cartoonish

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      "Almost"

      Is an understatement.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Kenny Everett

    I can't look at that picture without thinking of Kenny Everett's sketch where he is Rod Stewart and his arse slowly inflates.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqOh4z2ASdk

  7. Southern
    WTF?

    Shopped?

    Honestly if I hadn't read the article I would not have known.

    Beggar's belief what they get up to in the US.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why is this on Reg?

    Where is the IT/Tech angle behind this story? Or have you employed some ex-Sunday Sport 'reporters'?

    1. James O'Brien
      Thumb Down

      Its called odds and sods

      Check the heading.....

      1. Grease Monkey Silver badge

        Re: Why is this on Reg?

        Is this your first visit? Have you not read a Bootnotes story before?

        Is there any way the forum software could automatically filter these posts?

    2. The BigYin
      Flame

      Why are you?

      When you clearly lack the ability to read.

  9. HollyHopDrive
    Coat

    I guess there really is junk in the trunk....

  10. Dan 10
    WTF?

    References

    Who would look at this woman and think "hell yeah, I want an arse like that!"

    (Made no better by that ridiculous psychadelic top...)

  11. Shaun 1

    How much

    How much does this usually cost? ie from a reputable doctor

    1. Kool-Aid drinker

      A quick search suggests around $3500

      1. Grease Monkey Silver badge

        What a reputable doctor will charge three and a half grand to pump your buttocks full of products from the DIY store?

    2. Suburban Inmate
      Facepalm

      Factor in ongoing costs

      For example, having to pay for TWO aeroplane seats.

  12. Gerrit Hoekstra
    IT Angle

    IT Angle: Code Bloat by unscrupulous vendors, right?

    Let me fix this for you:

    Miami cops last week slapped the cuffs on a transgressing software vendor accused of performing an O/S enhancement with "cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant". The unnamed victim of the code bloat, keen to sport the latest O/S on her PC, approached MS on the recommendation of a friend that "Windows is Good". The unscrupulous vendor charged $700 for the upgrade, which involved sticking extra RAM in the patient's PC and pumping the hard disk full of "toxic substances", according to police.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Ah, I see, that's better. Thanks.

  13. 0laf
    Thumb Up

    Still

    Cracking walnuts is bound to be a doddle now.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Aaahhhh

    That's how J Lo did it.

  15. Pete the not so great
    Thumb Up

    Dunno

    That could carry, what 7 or 8 pints.

  16. Pen-y-gors

    It's true

    There's nowt so queer as folk!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    With An Arse LIke That

    They must always feel they are the butt of the joke.

  18. DragonKin37
    Go

    Nothing new

    The he/she perp in this report actually comes from my home town, its very ghetto and people just cant afford the 4K surguries that the doc's in Miami offer. There are alot of horror stories from that area of botched boob jobs to people dying on the table. All this to emulate the what people with more disposable income can afford.

    The victims in this are not victims, they are just dumb ppl trying to be someone they arent.

    "HOLLA one time for the 305 repping CAROL CITY (now Miami Gardens)!"

    1. proto-robbie
      Pirate

      4King hell

      Lipotrucktion ya bass!

  19. Z80

    Baby got back

    Perhaps she got Sir Mix-a-lot and cement mixer confused.

    1. Studley

      I like brick butts

      ...and I cannot lie.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I'm not against firm buns

        not often enough anyway, but that woman is carrying the whole fucking chocolate factory.

  20. waldoPepp

    Bizarse

    Reminds me of that classic Kenny Everett sketch involving Rod Stewart's inflating arse.

  21. A J Stiles
    Thumb Up

    Thank you

    Kudos to The Reg for referring to Morris as a transgender woman, as opposed to "a transgender man dressed as a woman" as I saw in one other news source running the story.

    Now, to ruin the nice tone I just established: The backside in those pictures is hardly a good advertisement for the process, is it ?!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Now I'm really confused

      Is she a woman or is he a man?

  22. defiler

    A cultural thing - fair enough

    Okay, this is a generalisation, but the way I understand it there's a vague delineation between black/latin women wanting big bums and oriental/white women wanting smaller bums. So I can accept that she might want a bit more meat on. But seriously?

    If she's that desperate for a giant ugly arse, there's always Greggs...

    1. irish donkey
      Coffee/keyboard

      new keyboard required

      outstanding

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Erm

    Just, erm!

    I'll never look at a bag of Portland Cement in the same way again.

  24. Giles Jones Gold badge

    Thank god it's in the US. Otherwise NHS would be fixing up all the problems like they have to do when people go to Turkey or Brazil for cheap plastic surgery and get butchered.

    1. Grease Monkey Silver badge

      'Scuse me but there have been several cases of British women popping over to the states for this sort of treatment by bogus doctors. Guess who sorts out the damage when they come home?

  25. John P
    Stop

    No please don't sit on my lap...aaarrrgghh, my pelvis!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wide load

    Cement truck indeed.

    (It's sad really)

  27. TRT Silver badge
    Facepalm

    One has to wonder who would allow a "surgeon" who looked liked that to perform the same op on them? That'd be like allowing Telly Savalas or Paul Weller to cut your hair for you. Only worse.

    Cement, mineral oil and tyre sealant. That's what I keep in my boot(y).

    1. John McCallum
      Devil

      At least if you did it would eventualy regrow this" persons" victim will probibly need treatment for quite some time.

  28. John Jennings
    Childcatcher

    http://www.ginsters.co.uk/

    Could have saved herself $650

  29. Tom 260

    I'm guessing that the weight of the concrete/etc will lead to a saggy arse over time...

  30. Kar98
    FAIL

    Americans...

    They're pretty much all f*ing retarded.

    1. Grease Monkey Silver badge

      Are there's a balanced and considered opinion. A very small sample of Americans are covered by this story, but you can extrapolate that almost all of them are retarded from that? You're either amazingly intelegent or staggeringly stupid. Wonder which one it is.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Not only that, but they can't spell.

  31. mark11727
    WTF?

    The real question...

    ... how exactly does the poor victim get all that stuff back OUT of her body? Ouch.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      who pays for the removal?

      the rest of us will be paying for this, through the coverage "poor" people have been exploiting for decades while political hacks claim we "need" some other Federal mandated boondoggle.

      It's called "Visit the ER for everything, because you cannot be turned away".

    2. The Flying Dutchman

      Easy

      There are appropriate tools for that:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:TVA_Douglas_Dam_jack_hammer.gif

  32. BoxedSet
    WTF?

    Ye gods, why did it not occur sooner to this poor wretch that her zeppelins-sized buttocks may not be entirely as she expected? She deserves a good kick up it although I would probably break my foot in the process!

    What is known as a "Dairy Milk Arse"..... or an arse and a half !

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tank ass.

    Dear. Lord. O. M. G.

    Add some kevlar, some sheet metal, and she can work with the SWAT as a battering ram.

    Getting rear-ended would have never had such better definition.

    Coat.

  34. Blubster
    Meh

    Hope to christ

    She doesn't go swimming, she'll sink like a stone with that arse.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well

    She did say she liked big butts and now cannot lie.

  36. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Coat

    Serves her right, she should have gone to reputable/registered builder to have that done

    Mines the one with a pocket full of a 3:1 mix

  37. Fatman
    WTF?

    WTF?

    You have to remember, this is in Flori-DUH!

    At least (s)he has an arse big enough to shove a few heads in. let's start with Flori-DUH's governor.

  38. Jenova Red

    Whilst the incident is very unfortunate (albeit quite laughable), I'm not sure what the trans status of the doctor has to do with anything?

    But an arse full of concrete, oh my! How did they get it all out?!

    1. kain preacher

      It's the American news. They she trans folks as freaks and every one loves a freak show. Notice how they made sure to call her a man and say he. They even went as far as saying that they did not know if morris identified as a women.

    2. Grease Monkey Silver badge

      I think the fact that the practitioner is transgendered is relevant simply because the biggest market for this sort of backstreet quack treatment is among transgendered customers.

  39. Jolyon Ralph
    Thumb Up

    When the police came

    she must have been shitting bricks

  40. Figgus
    Trollface

    Shouldn't this section be called "Bootynotes"?

  41. TRT Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Ane fule kno...

    is better to bury your pole in concrete foundation than simply in dirt.

  42. Dave Gregory
    WTF?

    Crooked Little Vein

    By Warren Ellis. I honestly thought he was making this stuff up.

  43. ElNumbre
    Joke

    Such a shame...

    Wish the "Doctor" was called Phil Mcrackin.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Life imitating art

    The "patient" was clearly a Viz reader: the cement was obviously intended to lay the foundations for a Ringpiece Cathedral....

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Viz_comic_strips#P_-_S

  45. Mikey
    Coat

    With stories like this...

    I guess the reporting on El Reg has finally hit rock bottom...

  46. kain preacher
    Thumb Down

    @mark11727

    It comes out easily. The hard part is deciding how much muscle has to come out along with it . I've the after pictures are not pretty. It looks like you've been attacked by a flesh eating bacteria ,

  47. Nights_are_Long
    WTF?

    That's not a arse...

    ... Thats a shelf.

  48. Dennis Wilson

    Bigger is better

    I think a week of making bigger turds and the problem will go away on its own

  49. JimC

    ... be a standing cinema...

    'nuff said.

  50. J 3
    Facepalm

    A year-long hunt?

    I'm sure they were busy solving more important crimes, that's why it took them that long... Or do you say the perpetrator actually blends in around those parts!? I mean, how hard would it be to find the "woman who looks like an ant"?

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No matter the lawyer...

    ...she has a solid case. With concrete evidence.

    Taxi!

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