back to article Man sues boss for 'condemning him to eternal damnation'

An American man has brought a wrongful dismissal suit over his former employer's attempt to make him wear the number of the beast - in the guise of a safety record sticker. Billy E Hyatt alleges that he was fired from the Pliant Corp plastics factory in northern Georgia for refusing to wear a sticker declaring the factory had …


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  1. Term

    666 or 616?

    According to the oldest copy of the book of Revelations (~1700 yo) the number of the beast is 616. So the poor chap was already damned to eternal hell 50 days previously!

    1. Armando 123

      That's what I'd thought, too.

      And I heard it on an NPR podcast, and they are NEVER wrong.

      1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

        In the original text it's not actually written as "666" but as something like νρων κσρ in greek or, in modern hebrew letters, נרון קשר.

        This is because, in those days, there was no separate numerical system and both cultures used letters of the alphabet as numbers, adding up various letters until the required total is reached (which is part of the logic behind numerology-based mystery cults like Kabbalah and so forth). A modern equivalent might use A as 1, B as 2 all the way up to J as 9, then K as 10, L as 100, M as 1000 and so forth.

        The smart amongst you may have already noticed that the letters above spell "nron ksr" and "nrwn qsr" respectively. When the book of Revelation was written, it was done so in greek, as any literate writer in Israel of the day would have known Greek as well as Aramaic and old Hebrew. The writer may have written in Greek, however he was still thinking in Aramaic and wrote the name "nero ceasar" (or neron kaiser as it would have been in literate circles there, as they all spoke Greek rather than Latin), transliterated from aramaic to greek, as the "number of the beast". Aramaic, like Hebrew and most other semitic languages has no vowels, so the result would be the equivalent of NRWN QSR. With the transition to hindu-arabic numerals the transliteration lost its meaning and the total number was rendered simply as "666".

        In some translations from greek to latin a mistake was made by the translator, who assumed that the text should say NRW QSR, resulting in some later texts having the number add up to 616.

        So, to end it all, the whole "number of the beast" thing is actually a bit of historical curiosity now rather than a fundamental element of identification of some future "antichrist" figure. It's worth remembering that there is no mention of a single man named "antichrist" in the entire book of revelation. The entire book refers to events that took place around 69 AD, when the romans laid seige to Jerusalem. The beast of the sea was Nero, the beast of the land was the Jewish religious hierarchy, the "harlot" was that same hierarchy, the weeping merchants were the Jewish people and foreigners who traded in Jerusalem as it stood on the crossroads between east and west and so on and so forth. Those "end times" referred to throughout the new testament were a reference to the eventual sack of Jerusalem and the annexation of Israel as part of the Roman Empire, something anyone with a bit of foresight and brain could have predicted if they paid attention to the political motions of the day.

        Basically the entire book refers to events in the past. It's over. Finito. Finished. We're living after the end of the book.

        Marvellous. :)

        1. Twits R 4 Twats

          Thanks Graham!!

          Finally someone who puts some sense in Christian Mythology.

          I am not a Nihilist, in fact I am baptized christian by choice- but I really have a hard time with fundamentalists of any color who do not care to get the facts and have no sense for of the spiritual side of things.

          They rather take unreflected everything as truth that is written down and hand themselves cowardly to whatever authority claims to own that truth. If that's not 100% materialistic, lacking every spark of spirituality.

          And worse, they fight everyone who choose to disagree without an inch of tolerance...

          1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

            Aye, so much of the bible makes a lot more sense with even a little understanding of the cultural milieu it was written in.

    2. Gannon (J.) Dick


      But what about 'XL' the T-Shirt Size of the Beast or 'Cotton' the Breathe-able Natural Fiber Really Quite Suitable For a Variety of Climatic Conditions of the Beast ?

  2. Tom 7


    666 is not the number of the beast! Like most things in the bible its wrong...

    1. LaeMing

      Like most things NOT in the bible

      but believed to be there by self-claimed X-ians who are not half as pious as they would like to beleive (for if they were, they would have bothered to read the &^#^$% Bible!)

  3. Martin 71 Silver badge

    Surely the boss could just have him sectioned (or the american equivalent) thus saving all this hassle?

  4. jake Silver badge

    May I be the first to point out ...

    ... that not all of us Left-Pondians are completely whacked-out religious nutters? Most of us are actually sane. Really.

    Now if we could only get the masses to vote ...

    1. Armando 123

      Get the masses to vote?

      You could argue, with the help of some adult beverage, that that's where things went wrong.

      Everyone tells us to be tolerant, but I've never understood why I should tolerate such complete, utter, manic, raging, rot-inducing idiocy. Then again, that seems to be the most common state of humanity.

  5. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

    Isn't the number actually 616?

  6. Somerset John

    Number of the Beast-No it aint.

    I do wish these sky fairy merchants would occasionally get their facts right. The NOB is not, as explained by the erudite Mr Stephen Fry, 666. More like 620 or thereabouts, though my memory fails to extract the definitive result.

    Not sure if this minor inaccuracy deserves sacking though.

  7. James Hughes 1

    If I recall my QI correctly

    (and its more reliable than Wikipedia you know)

    Isn't 666 the wrong number anyway?

    That said, some people really are numpties.

  8. mhoulden

    Leaving aside this man's religious beliefs, what kind of employer makes you wear a sticker that says how many days there have been since the last accident? If it's worth noting at all, surely a poster on the wall would be better?

    1. Armando 123

      It seems like the sort of thing you'd do with kids who have to wear bike helmets all the time, even on their short bus.

      Then again, given this employee's reaction, ...

    2. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      What kind of employer

      One who can "voice the opinion that Hyatt's beliefs were ridiculous" without a hint of self-awareness?

      One who does, as you put it, "leave aside this man's religious beliefs"?

      Or, most likely, one who was looking for an excuse to sack him anyway.

    3. Gav

      Employer is a nutcase

      The employer is asking for it really, isn't he. And why 666? Why not 600?

      If I worked for them I'd go to the first aid room with a paper cut, insisting it be logged. On day 665, after the stickers had been printed, and I'd been asked to unbox them.. you see where this is going.... the irony would make it all worth while.

  9. Greg J Preece

    Obviously doesn't keep up with his claptrap - the mark of the beast has been updated to 616, referring to Caligula, I believe.

    Meaning, of course, that for quite a long time religious nuts have been using Satan's mark quite happily, condemning themselves to hell. I can't help but smile. :-)

  10. Hollerith 1

    If he's such a sincere believer...

    Why is he working for a company and collecting wages when he should be dedicating himself to the work his Saviour recommended: feeding the poor, looking after the widow and orphan, visiting those in prison, helping people out who need help, laying down his life for others?

    Oh, I guess that would be walking the walk. So much more fun to get hung up on the superstitious, mumbo-jumbo bit of your religion and enjoy feeling outraged.

    Or he could just be very, very thick.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      "Or he could just be very, very thick."

      my instincts say to go with that one.

    2. Naughtyhorse

      Or he could just be very, very thick

      unskilled worker in a plastics factory?

      man must have been a genius!

      1. Thomas 4

        I worked with this guy once

        You should have seen the kerfuffle that happened when I had Iron Maiden on the radio.


    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Walking the walk?

      Tricky thing, helping out the less fortunate if you don't have your own home and income. Cos, you know, you'd *be* one of the less fortunate at that point. How do you feed the poor if you can't afford food? Or the land on which to grow it?

      The fact the guy is credulous and a bit daft is reason enough to mock him. So what does your complete failure to understand economics or charity say about you?

      1. Hollerith 1

        Credulous and daft

        If the guy was credulous and daft, I would not mock him. If he were just a simple soul who'd swallowed the whole thing, fuzzy supertitious bits and all, i would pity him. But he was shrewd enough to sue his employer. Nothing like money to sharpen a man's wits. I curl my lip at him not because he is a simple believer, but because he's a canting hypocrite.

        When he felt frightened and oppressed, he was supposed to turn the other cheek. What do you think that means? When hurt, humiliated, put into distress, a Christian accepts it joyfully as a way to walk the walk his Saviour set for him and the one He demonstrated. Though wearing the nunber of the beast (although completely out of context), he would have held fast to his faith and trusted his God.

        Or can you find somewhere that Jesus said 'Sue the socks off the b*st*rd, matey, get loads of dosh: that's My teaching in a nutshell.'

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        Works for Monks.

        Granted they need to eat and somewhere to keep the rain off, but they don't exactly have many needs.

    4. Sooty

      re: If he's such a sincere believer...

      He could have arranged an "accident" on day 665.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why not

    Why not start a religion that states *all* numbers and letters are evil, and then claim that any work given to your by your employer is against your religious faith, and then sue them?

    1. Armando 123

      There are days when I wonder if the government-run education system is run by a cult like that. Certainly some of the teachers I know are card-carrying members. (No names or numbers, just sparkly pictures.)

    2. Naughtyhorse

      Why not start a religion that states *all* numbers and letters are evil

      and when you get your personal heavenspace assigned... you find sarah palin is there and has been for years

    3. Stratman

      Why not start a religion.......

      Go on then..........

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Why not...

      Ah, but how are you going to get the word out about your religion, and more to the point, how can you publish your religious tenets if numbers and letters are evil??? Maybe with punctuation marks, unless they evil as well?

  12. Eponymous Retard

    There's one born every minute...

    I thought that 666 was a mistranslation and 616 was the actual (scientifically proven) beast's number. So according to the religious nut-job in question, he was already condemned to eternal hellfire 50 days earlier. So there.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      '...the actual (scientifically proven) beast's number.'

      It's been scientifically proven that there is a beast and what its number is?

      Do tell......

  13. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Not much of a fanatic

    A real religious nutcase would have voluntarily had an industrial accident on day #665, just to stick it to the boss.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      A nail related incident would have been very appropriate?

    2. Chris 15

      @phil O'sophical:

      >>Not much of a fanatic → #

      >>In Man sues boss for 'condemning him to eternal damnation'

      >>A real religious nutcase would have voluntarily had an industrial accident on day #665, just to stick it to the boss.

      a sensible religious nutcase would have organised an industrial accident for his boss. involving nails, or a crown of thorns, or something :)

    3. Stratman

      If he chose to have it, it wouldn't have been an accident.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He's obviously a nut case.

    ^title says it all

  15. Martyn 1

    According to the gospel of QI...

    I though our saviour Stephen Fry had established that the number of the beast was 616, and 666 was a 2000 (ish) year old typo?

  16. Richard Wharram

    Jumping on the 616 bandwagon...

    Let me add like everyone else has that the oldest versions of revelations had the number as 616.

    Let me also add that this would have been a front-page bile-spewer in The Daily Fail if this had happened in the UK.

    "Another Christian persecuted for beliefs!"

    ...where he'd be pictured glum-faced with his copy of the Bible and his wife and dogs. The sub-text would then go on about how different it would have been if he'd been Islamic or gay and would then try to wangle in something about peadophilia and secularists.

  17. Heironymous Coward

    Why didn't he just

    have an accident in the workplace? Probably less painful than eternal damnation (though there is some doubt, I guess).

  18. HP Cynic

    I believe Hell is not even mentioned in The Bible which will further harm his already ludicrous case.

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Ah, sweet irony

      Ah, but Lord Google teaches us that just because you believe in something doesn't make it true.

      1. Ian Yates

        @Ken Hagan

        Except that, those are translations (mostly from Greek), and some of those uses aren't quite as clear-cut as they seem, when you start looking at the actual words and context.

        It would be even weirder if "Hell" (not one of the many towns) was mentioned unambiguously.

    2. LaeMing

      Just not as a place human souls are sent to. Or a place Satan is lord of.

      As I read it, Hell is basically a big volcano Satan was cast into to punish him for vanity.


      Didn't Ron Hubbard do something about castings into a big volcano too?

  19. Armando 123

    Area Code 616

    Is in Michigan, specifically Grand Rapids.

    Insert your own punchline here.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    666 is more like the number of commentators who'll point out it should actually be 616

    1. Mermaid Dick
      Thumb Down


      It's a Mazda from the 1970s. Don't ask me how I know.

      1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

        Don't be ashamed!

        I had one. It never missed a beat, and was fun as hell with its reasonably advanced suspension design (for the era and market segment), RWD and skinny tyres. I miss that car.

        Now every idiot wants one so they can put a rotary engine in it, and as a result they cost far too much.

  21. Lamont Cranston

    His deity of choice must be really petty.

    Christian, you say? *checks Old Testament* Yup, really petty.

  22. BristolBachelor Gold badge

    Must be 666; Bruce Dickinson said so...

    "Woe to you oh Earth and sea, for the devil sends the beast with rath, because he knows the time is right. Let him who hath understanding recon the number of the beast because it is a human number, it's number is.........?

    1. John 104


      It was actually Vincent Price who spoke those words before the tune.

  23. peter 45


    Believing that wearing the number 666 with infringe on your Christian rights - stupid

    Sacking someone for not wearing a Elf and Safty badge for 1 day - stupid

    They deserve each other

  24. Eddie 4

    Let's face it, whatever his motivations, this bloke should not have been suspended for refusing to wear the badge & certainly not sacked. This is heavy handed management in the extreme & should be resisted by all n sundry.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe he should read that text again...

    ... For most Christians I know, the number 666 is the number that comes after 665 and before 667. The number itself does have scriptural significance, but to take it out of context like this chap has done just makes him seem silly and unscriptural. Maybe he should refer to what text in Revelation actually says, rather than looking to see what Richard Donner (director of The Omen) said...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's actually part of my phone number, it stops all those fundamentalists from calling me!

  26. Chris Rowland

    I'm saddened to see how many people think that a person who has a belief different to theirs should be fired.

    I originally thought surprised but then realised where this is and that intolerance and general nastiness was no surprise at all.

    Hope the guy gets a job with a better employer.

    1. Tony Green


      "I'm saddened to see how many people think that a person who has a belief different to theirs should be fired."

      He wasn't fired for having beliefs. He was fired for refusing to obey instructions. The fact that he thought those instructions were against his irrational beliefs was irrelevant.

    2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge
      Thumb Down


      Believing something is not an entitlement to do what you like.

    3. BrownishMonstr

      #666 days without accident till today, 666 days...#

      I agree that he has been unfairly dismissed, there really are too many stupid people in this world who make and police rules.

      @Tony green. Though I understand he didn't follow an instruction. It's only a sticker and I doubt it would make a big difference to the company---then again, I doubt that keeping the stickers would make a big difference to the company, if anything it's a waste of money.

      @Sthiat. Maybe not, but as long their belief doesn't affect me, I generally don't care. Not believing in a super-being(s) is still a belief and some practice that by protesting that said being(s) doesn't exist. Not wearing that sticker doesn't affect the company, except from maybe a small loss of printing that sticker.

  27. AndrueC Silver badge

    >His boss initially told him not to worry, as someone might have an accident

  28. Can't think of anything witty...

    Ok - I'm gonna say it

    I'm on the side of the employee here.

    Lets get this in perspective. His boss wanted him to wear number 666 for a day, he didn't want to do it. On the next day, i'm assuming that 667 would have been fine and the only problem we'd have going forward will be a couple of years after the next industiral accident.

    His boss should have just let it go for one day, then give him the badge for the next day.

    Failing that, a "Looking forward to 667 days without an accident" would have been fine. Would "Happily working for over 665 days without an accident" be too much of a stretch?

    (by the way, i'm not religious at all, but i reckon that if it's easy to accommodate peoples beliefs then why not?)

    1. Naughtyhorse

      true true

      either that or he could have fead the moron into an industrial chipper on day 665, thereby preventing any future issues with this slack jawed fuckwit.

      1. Chimp


        ... feet first.

    2. Shades

      Going forward?


      Please save that kind of language for patronizing "team talks", tedious management meetings, and the golf club.

      Thank you.

      1. Can't think of anything witty...

        Good point

        and i apologise...

        it was just a short way of saying "just ignore it the once because it's not worth the paperwork and anyway, 666 days without an accident doesn't come around often...".

        1. Shades
          Thumb Up

          @Can't think of anything witty

          Thanks for taking my comment in the spirit it was intended :)

          Perhaps I should included a winking emoticon for the two humourless team talkers, managers or golfers (or a combination of all three I suppose) that we have amongst us.

    3. Hungry Sean


      to the people suggesting that this guy is a nutter and deserves no sympathy:

      all y'all are missing a very important fact-- this happened in Georgia. For our friends across the pond, Georgia is part of the "deep south" and this sort of belief is quite common, and even considered moderate, in that area. I still have memories of visiting a pentacostalist sunday school once where they showed a movie suggesting that demons are real and are responsible for. . . *masturbation* (shock! horror!). At any rate, I'm willing to bet he was not the only one in his factory unwilling to wear a 666 badge. It sounds like besides not wanting to wear a number tag one day, he's probably a fine employee (hey, no accidents in almost two years takes a lot of careful workers). A little bit of respect and accommodation goes a long way towards making work tolerable.

      1. unitron

        "...suggesting that demons are real and are responsible for. . . *masturbation*..."

        Well, mine certainly are!

        At least that's what Mrs. Palm tells me.

    4. mjwalshe

      why not reuse the previous days badge amended with +1

    5. Esskay
      Thumb Up

      Instead of "666 days without an accident"


      It's both accurate and a warning to other slightly less spazzo plastic factory workers.

  29. Ben Bawden
    Thumb Down

    I wonder if he also refused to wear cloths of mixed fabric? No? Fucking hypocrite.

    1. veti Silver badge

      Do you know that for a fact? Because I know at least two people who do refuse to wear clothes made from mixed fibres, so it does happen.

      But I'm sure you can always find *some* reason to call people "fucking hypocrites", if it saves you the burden of having to think of them as people.

    2. Graham Dawson Silver badge

      The scripture in question prohibited mixing wool and linen, not any arbitrary fabrics, but *only* wool and linen. It's likely this is due to a ritual requirement that the priests of the day shouldn't wear clothes that make them sweat when they're doing their priestly things which, in a warm environment, would rule out wool in any form for ritual clothing.

      It's also possibly because wool tends to shrink in hot, humid environments, whilst linen doesn't, which would result in clothing that goes all squiffy.

      Modern translations aside, again, the scripture only refers to wool and linen. And at one point it refers to garments rather than threads.

      Cultural context is always necessary when studying these things.

      1. Nuffnuff

        Cultural context

        A bit like proscriptions on munching our omnivorous porcine cousins, who gleefully wallow in potables rather than standing on the side and sipping daintily. Good one Abraham.

  30. Winkypop Silver badge

    I'll never cease to be amazed by human superstition

    The human brain is an amazing organ, fallible sure, but amazing.

    There are no goblins, ghosts nor sky-fairies, but our meat brains just love to conger them up.

    1. Stuart Gepp

      Have you ever considered...

      ...what might be telling you this?

      "The human brain is an amazing organ, fallible sure, but amazing"

  31. Chad H.

    Theres got to be something else going on...

    If this man was a good employee and created value for the business then I don't think he'd be fired for not wearing a badge.

    Methinks its more likely he was fired for something much more serious.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Not necessarily

      If it was a "right-to-work" state then he could be fired at any time without a reason.

      1. Chad H.

        Having the legal right and the will are two different things

        Given the cost and risks in replacing a staff member you don't just do it on a whim.

        More likely: the guy kept pushing his faith on others at work and it was really pissing people off. This was the final straw; or the guy was a profilic work misser.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    surely he could have booked the day off?

  33. Vladimir Plouzhnikov


    Is no longer alone,

    He's getting out the marrow in your back bone,

    And the seven trumpets blowing sweet rock and roll,

    Gonna blow right down inside your soul.

  34. The Fuzzy Wotnot

    "His boss initially told him not to worry, as someone might have an accident,"

    Absolutely superb and somewhat typical, management advice there!

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hi I live at 668 and I can assure you that he's absolutely correct.

    Take i from me..I'm the neighbour of the beast.

  36. philbo

    Couldn't he

    ..just have pulled a sick-sick-sickie?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh please...

    The sticker could read 665+1, 667-1, 333 x 2. Hell, (pun intended), there is an entire field of mathematics (and a couple of nutjobs ^H scientists as well) dedicated to finding means to refer to a number, without actually using it, or even knowing it too, by the most creative means possible.

    It is called Algebra.

    There is even a challenge on how to write all numbers from 0 to 10, using only four fours.

    How do you call that? Witchcraft? Lots of spare time?

    Even 665A could go without such a fuss. Or the number of hours (666 x 24).

    Go watch Numb3rs to get some ideas. Geez.

    1. Thomas Allen


      So 665.999... = 666

  38. James O'Brien

    I thought

    The devil already went down to Gerogia?

    No? Ill get me coat then...

  39. Armando 123


    "He might also have argued that since the seven headed, ten horned beast had not apparently manifested himself in Georgia, Hyatt's fears were somewhat theoretical."

    Not according to an excellent folk song documentary made by Charlie Daniels.

  40. Bucky 2

    The 616/666 thing aside, the bible says [number] is the number of the beast, but doesn't claim that all instances of that number refer to the beast or invoke the power of the beast.

    It actually goes on to say how to identify such an instance of the number.

    The guy is going to hell not because he had to wear the number. He's going to hell because lying about what the bible says is heresy, and he's an obvious heretic.

    1. veti Silver badge

      Not at all. Being wrong about what the bible says is not heresy, even if you're making unequivocally false statements. In the middle ages, that would have made religious debate impossible, since the loser would immediately have to be burnt; but in fact, it was their most popular intellectual pastime (without, normally, the burning).

      "Heresy" is when Mother Church tells you the correct interpretation, takes time to explain it to you in as much detail as you require, and you listen and acknowledge that you understand the teaching - but still insist on rejecting it and keeping your own interpretation. Then you're rejecting the authority of the Church, which is how heresy is really defined in practice.

  41. Oninoshiko

    nutter or not

    What kinda employer makes you wear a sticker saying how long the building was accident free? Sorry, but I'm kinda glad to be in our industry, where our dress codes are a little more reasonable.

    Hell, that means they are buying enough stickers for all employees everyday, what a phenomenal waste of money. His management should be fired for misusing funds, when a board with flippy-numbers would be just fine!

  42. Keep Refrigerated

    He should win the industrial tribunal

    Not for any religious reason, but considering many American buildings choose to label the 13th Floor as 14 for superstitious reasons, it seems like a very petty boss who would fire someone for not wearing a badge with a temporary integer variable.

    On a side note, I played Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast at a bible study once - it was not the most well recieved message I've shared, but I enjoy the odd reaction when I also share that Nicko McBain is a Christian.

  43. Terry 6 Silver badge

    1.) No one should be made to wear a badge that isn't essential for their work ( such as ID).

    2.) Even if someone does need to, it'snormally a minor transgression.

    3) Unless his contract says he can't be a deluded and illogical idiot he's fully entitled to be one. In fact, if you excluded everyone from work they were capable of just for idiocy I can think of a few places that would be very short of staff.

  44. sisk


    both the termination of the employee over this and the reaction of a whole shedload of commentards. Just because you all think his beliefs are nuts he's not entitled to the same kind of respect for those beliefs that you'd all give someone who shares your own? Get a collective life.

    The boss here was CLEARLY in the legal wrong, to say nothing of it just being an a-hole move in the first place. Even in a 'right-to-work' state like Georgia you cannot be legally terminated for acting in accordance to your religious beliefs unless those beliefs cause a significant disruption to your ability to do your job, and even then it's iffy in a lot of states. That's right up there with firing someone for being gay on the list of civil rights. Not wearing a sticker that says you were accident free for 666 days? No affect on his job.

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      A Lesson in Respect

      A person earns or commands respect through their actions, not their beliefs.

      Your suggestion that this is equivalent to gay/civil rights is way off base because that's a question of human rights. A person certainly should have the right to believe what they want, but when they publicise those beliefs or use them as justification for doing (or not doing) something it immediately becomes a question of evidence and rationality.

  45. Lance 3

    Call in sick

    He should have just called in sick.

  46. Eddie Hotchkiss

    Why didn't he just have an accident

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre

      Classic solution

      They used to say "there's no problem a well-placed Hotchkiss can't solve".


  47. Nameless Faceless Computer User

    I'm missing something

    If he took day 666 off as a personal day he could have returned on day 667? No?

  48. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    Disappointed with some of the other commentards here. This guy is not likely to be the smartest cookie, whereas most of us probably think we're pretty much 'all there'.

    I'd like to suggest a few other possibilities.

    1) Having been told not to worry, he innocently believed his boss would sort something out.

    2) He's actually quite honest, and wouldn't think of throwing a sickie.

    3) He has to give at least a months notice to take a day off.

    4) His boss was a total control freak, who delighted in causing distress to 'underlings'.

    I met number 4 when I was a teenager. He sacked me for refusing to break out of a complex job to go and post a letter, even after I offered to do so at lunch time, and he knew there wasn't another collection till 4pm.

  49. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    harsher punishment

    "He now claims he was subjected to harsher punishment than colleagues who had missed work for reasons other than escaping eternal torment in the fiery fireplace of Beelzebub."

    He. So being christian is like breaking one's leg. Every day.

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