"Android Malware "problem" is being vastly over-exaggerated."
Percentage-wise, the Android Malware problem is growing faster than any other malware problem. While there are no viruses for this platform yet, the number of new Trojan horses discovered has reached in the range of several per day (on average). Given that there were just a handful in existence about a year ago, this is tremendous growth. And it is just a matter of time until a full-fledged worm appears. (We have botnets already.)
"The bottom line is if you have left that "allow non-marketplace apps" tickbox unticked, and you quickly check the app permissions and download count before installing, then you have nothing to fear."
You are very much mistaken here. First of all, there have been several cases of malware appearing on the "official" marketplace (and Google had to pull it very fast). Second, there are ways to bypass the permissions protection by using already existing apps. For instance, a malicious app might not request the permission to access the Internet, yet still do so by using an already installed browser app that can act as a server.
"The only people saying otherwise are those trying to sell you an app to protect you."
The test was of FREE protecting apps, in case you haven't noticed. The results sound about right, too - in the AV business, when you get a free anti-virus program, you usually get what you pay for. (Sadly, the opposite is not necessarily true - buying a paid AV program doesn't guarantee you quality.)
I wholeheartedly agree with your remark about iOS, though.