Ryanair ponders in-air mucky movie service

Ryanair has hinted that it may be planning to offer flyers adult entertainment in flight. The no-frills airline's chief executive, Michael O'Leary, said he'd like to launch in-flight web content, similar to that of hotel room telly offerings, The Sun reports. Ryanair O'Leary said: "I'm not talking about having it on screens …

[JDX]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww

please please no.

[Wize]

Won't someone please...

...think of the children.

Or are we going to get flights that are screaming brat free?

[Filippo]

Doesn't Ryanair make you pay for using the plane's toilets? This looks like nice synergy.

[Anonymous Coward]

You're assuming

people will use the toilets.

[Neil 49]

£1

Per tissue

[David 39]

bogs

Isn't it a pound a pop for the bog nowadays on ryanair? Nice revenue stream

[Test Man]

No.

Where did you here they were?

[MooseMonkey]

usual publicity seeking rubbish

He only says these things to get free advertising, we should all ignore him, then maybe he will go away

[Chad H.]

Yup

O"really Must be upset cos nones been paying attention.

Its not going to work on both angles. Anti porn people will play the "Save the children line"; whilst most normal porn users probably don't want to be watching porn in such a public environment.

[N2]

Hand held devices?

I take it "Our lady Air" would also provide D size Duracels to last the flight

[Chris Miller]

MO'L

is adept at garnering free publicity. File this one along with his 'charging to use the bogs' and 'flying standing up' ideas.

[Anonymous Coward 101]

Another Ryanair trick...

...they charge you for the movie, then charge more for the tissue and the handcream.

Or maybe this was just some stupid publicity stunt...

[Anonymous Coward]

I suppose he will still be charging for the toilets, or will that be included in the price!

[Anonymous Coward]

Surely the world has realised by now that Scumbag O'Leary will say/do anything to get column inches for his crap airline. Shame on The Reg for succumbing to yet another cheap publicity stunt.

[Annihilator]

Reporting what the Sun reports that O'Leary has said. I'd be amazed if el Reg was able to even look in the mirror

Back in the real world though, I'm sure an airline was considering scrapping the current in-flight systems and replacing it with iPad (or similar) for all, as the weight saving alone would translate into spectacular fuel/cost reductions and more than pay for itself. Cannot for the life of me remember who though, Quantas maybe?

[John G Imrie]

Still, pr0n on a plane seems insane. Aren't the toilets busy enough?

I think this is the prolog to the reintroduction of the toilet fee.

[Alan 6]

As bad as smokers

Can some people not last a 2 hour flight without a 5-knuckle shuffle?

Maybe this is going to be introduced alongside a £1 charge for the bogs, and is yet another reason why I will go nowhere near a low cost airline...

[Bassey]

Usual O'Leary nonsense

O'Leary's usual trick of making up nonsense to get himself a bunch of free advertising from brainless churnalists at the Sun.

[Sean Baggaley 1]

Hey, don't knock it!

It clearly works.

O'Leary's glorified bus service gets free advertising; journalists get a free article to pass off as their own. Readers get entertained (briefly) by some genuine fiction masquerading as news.

It's a win-win-win situation.

[Seanmon]

letters and/or digits

Ryanair's purpose in life is to make Easyjet tolerable.

[Owen Carter]

Why not..

Just have the youngest female in the aircrew topless; similar stuff works for the tabloids; same market..

But since I know the RA publicity department just loves a controversy: Maybe they can get pictures of proud mums and their school-age daughters who want to become stewardesses when they grow up.. put that in adverts along with the date of their first flight? it worked for the Sun many many years ago.

[Ian Ferguson]

Free advertising

If you have to cover these stories, please can you do so without mentioning the airline in question? Or mention it in the last paragraph as 'R***air' to fuck with their metrics.

[Camilla Smythe]

"Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?"

Because Hotels, and art museums, around the world have Cleaning Ladies with VIM!!!! Plus I do not need to sit next to someone partaking of a hand shandy.

Actually I think all of RyanAirs aircraft need to be quarantined immediately and given a good clean up as well given it is quite obvious that the customers are pissing and defecating all over the seats and now they are being invited to pump sexual juices all over them as well.

What next?

Mile high Dogging Club?

[cs94njw]

I guess you really WOULD have snakes on a plane...

Also, I assume it would be a device small enough to be held in one hand...

[Anonymous Coward]

To be fair

I've only flown Ryanair once and the plane was full of w@nkers, hence, only once.

[Anonymous Coward]

Please stop publishing thats stupid companies publicity stunts

I'm sick of it. How can you fall for it?

[pjcard]

I don't know who's worse...

O'Leary for constantly pulling this PR BS (remember the standing seats, no?) or you and the Sun for printing it.

[Hairy Spod]

I did once hear some one say that they provide w@nk service!

[proto-robbie]

Ten finger fumble ...

... One hand-held device too many, I feel.

[Armando 123]

No thanks

Handhelds aren't THAT private, and I'm not using a device others might have used before on a Ryan Air flight. In fact, I want a new, fresh-out-of-the-box seat. *shiver*

Mine's the one with the Janitor In A Drum in the pocket.

[Blubster]

No room

To sit down never mind to get your dick out for a bit of self pollution.

[Anonymous Coward]

Sounds like bullshit to me

Surely there can't be enough room in a RyanAir seat to do the knuckle shuffle.

[Blubster]

Or even......

1st woman - the bloke sitting next to me is masturbating

2nd woman - ignore him

1st woman - I can't, he's using my hand

[Annihilator]

Optician: I think you need to stop masturbating.

Patient: Why, is it making me blind?

Optician: No, you're upsetting the rest of the waiting room.

[Anonymous Coward]

I always thought O'Leary was a big fan of wanking

and now here's the proof

[LaeMing]

R-air is preping for LEO flights

Hot on the heels of Virgin, R-air is beginning to prep their planes for the inevitable dash to Low-Earth-Orbit flights. To counter the issues with moving about the planes in micro-gravity, they have devised a method to cheaply apply and maintain a sticky layer on floor and seat surfaces.

[Kubla Cant]

I can think of nothing worse

...than being stuck in a cramped RyanAir cabin along with a load of fanbois w4nking with their fondleslabs.

Seriously, if iPad pr0n is what gets you off, I would have thought you'd have your own collection. Also, if RyanAir's actresses are to normal pr0n stars as their flights are to normal airlines', I imagine the movies would appeal to, er, specialist tastes only (see icon).

[Anonymous Coward]

New seating class?

We used to have smoking and nonsmoking - perhaps they are contemplating a new class?

"Well, you have a choice: wanking or non-wanking. Non-wanking? that will be 100 extra..."

Although I suppose you wouldn't have as many children in wanking class....

[Steve Davies 3]

Brings a whole new meaning to the term

SleazyJet...

Coat?

[LinkOfHyrule]

They might as well do this on South West Trains too!...

I got on a train from Waterloo to Portsmouth Harbour one late night a few months back. Needing to use the loo, I politely waited outside of the disabled tardis toilet as it was engaged. A few minuets later, the door slides open and me and the other passengers in the vestibule are greeted by a drunk male commuter proudly proclaiming "I just had a wank in here!" - typical Surrey commuter!

[Anonymous Coward]

Time for a new verse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAg0lUYHHFc

[Anonymous Coward]

I deplore the fact

that you have deliberately chosen to provide yet another channel for free R*** advertising. They have been doing this for years, some media have fallen for it, others have embraced it (anything goes as it generates traffic). However, I thought you had higher... higher s... stan, omg, I can't keep a straight face, standards, that's it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Suspicious stains

I once hired a new Mondeo, which had blotches of gloopy white residue on the steering wheel and dash, which I can't imagine was anything except, ahem, jus de l'homme.

I can't think what I found more offensive - that the previous customer did it (why? My god, why?), or that the valeters didn't clean it afterwards.

Anyway should O'Leary bring in in-flight pr0n I can foresee a competition to thus defile the various surfaces of the plane.

[Anonymous Coward]

Pr0n on The Worlds Least Favourite airline

Surely that would be maps and glossy brochures of the large exciting cities passengers thought were being advertised, rather than the small dull ones 300 miles away that they are actually being taken to.

[s. pam]

OMFG

Typical CryingThere B.S.

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase

First Come, First Served....

I'll get my coat

[Velv]

HA HA HA, I'm amased anyone fell for this obvious PR stunt.

Ryanair is far to cheap to pay to install wi-fi on the planes.

Stewardesses wandering down the aisle flogging the old fashioned paper cliterature is much more Ryanairs style.

[Doogie Howser MD]

I would have thought this would have been more appropriate..

...for a carrier such as Aer Cunni-lingus?

No?

Coat please, goodnight! ;-)

[dotdavid]

Not entirely unexpected

Considering how cheap LCDs are right now, I'm surprised Ryanair don't install them on every seat back and make them constantly loop adverts at you unless you pay for the privilege of some in-flight entertainment.

The currently proposal of renting fondleslabs is somewhat less annoying to the average passenger, but since when does Ryanair care about what the average passenger thinks? I give it a year; tops; before the screens go in.

Oh and the porn idea is just wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

Never going to happen

No, seriously. This is a publicity stunt similar to some of the Benetton ads.

[AndrewInIreland]

Errr...

I think I see a flaw in Ryanair's thinking- If you drew a Venn Diagram of iPad Owners and People Who Fly Ryanair, you'd get two circles that do not intersect.

[lonefox]

New marketting slogan ?

"The airline run by a wanker, for wankers."