back to article Ryanair ponders in-air mucky movie service

Ryanair has hinted that it may be planning to offer flyers adult entertainment in flight. The no-frills airline's chief executive, Michael O'Leary, said he'd like to launch in-flight web content, similar to that of hotel room telly offerings, The Sun reports. Ryanair O'Leary said: "I'm not talking about having it on screens …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. JDX Gold badge

    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww

    please please no.

    1. Wize

      Won't someone please...

      ...think of the children.

      Or are we going to get flights that are screaming brat free?

  2. Filippo Silver badge

    Doesn't Ryanair make you pay for using the plane's toilets? This looks like nice synergy.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Alert

      You're assuming

      people will use the toilets.

  3. Neil 49
    Pirate

    £1

    Per tissue

  4. David 39

    bogs

    Isn't it a pound a pop for the bog nowadays on ryanair? Nice revenue stream

    1. Test Man
      WTF?

      No.

      Where did you here they were?

  5. MooseMonkey
    Thumb Down

    usual publicity seeking rubbish

    He only says these things to get free advertising, we should all ignore him, then maybe he will go away

    1. Chad H.

      Yup

      O"really Must be upset cos nones been paying attention.

      Its not going to work on both angles. Anti porn people will play the "Save the children line"; whilst most normal porn users probably don't want to be watching porn in such a public environment.

  6. N2 Silver badge
    Happy

    Hand held devices?

    I take it "Our lady Air" would also provide D size Duracels to last the flight

  7. Chris Miller

    MO'L

    is adept at garnering free publicity. File this one along with his 'charging to use the bogs' and 'flying standing up' ideas.

  8. Anonymous Coward 101
    Thumb Down

    Another Ryanair trick...

    ...they charge you for the movie, then charge more for the tissue and the handcream.

    Or maybe this was just some stupid publicity stunt...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I suppose he will still be charging for the toilets, or will that be included in the price!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Surely the world has realised by now that Scumbag O'Leary will say/do anything to get column inches for his crap airline. Shame on The Reg for succumbing to yet another cheap publicity stunt.

    1. Annihilator Silver badge
      Happy

      Reporting what the Sun reports that O'Leary has said. I'd be amazed if el Reg was able to even look in the mirror

      Back in the real world though, I'm sure an airline was considering scrapping the current in-flight systems and replacing it with iPad (or similar) for all, as the weight saving alone would translate into spectacular fuel/cost reductions and more than pay for itself. Cannot for the life of me remember who though, Quantas maybe?

  11. John G Imrie

    Still, pr0n on a plane seems insane. Aren't the toilets busy enough?

    I think this is the prolog to the reintroduction of the toilet fee.

  12. Alan 6
    Devil

    As bad as smokers

    Can some people not last a 2 hour flight without a 5-knuckle shuffle?

    Maybe this is going to be introduced alongside a £1 charge for the bogs, and is yet another reason why I will go nowhere near a low cost airline...

  13. Bassey

    Usual O'Leary nonsense

    O'Leary's usual trick of making up nonsense to get himself a bunch of free advertising from brainless churnalists at the Sun.

    1. Sean Baggaley 1

      Hey, don't knock it!

      It clearly works.

      O'Leary's glorified bus service gets free advertising; journalists get a free article to pass off as their own. Readers get entertained (briefly) by some genuine fiction masquerading as news.

      It's a win-win-win situation.

  14. Seanmon

    letters and/or digits

    Ryanair's purpose in life is to make Easyjet tolerable.

  15. Owen Carter
    Trollface

    Why not..

    Just have the youngest female in the aircrew topless; similar stuff works for the tabloids; same market..

    But since I know the RA publicity department just loves a controversy: Maybe they can get pictures of proud mums and their school-age daughters who want to become stewardesses when they grow up.. put that in adverts along with the date of their first flight? it worked for the Sun many many years ago.

  16. Ian Ferguson
    Thumb Down

    Free advertising

    If you have to cover these stories, please can you do so without mentioning the airline in question? Or mention it in the last paragraph as 'R***air' to fuck with their metrics.

  17. Camilla Smythe

    "Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?"

    Because Hotels, and art museums, around the world have Cleaning Ladies with VIM!!!! Plus I do not need to sit next to someone partaking of a hand shandy.

    Actually I think all of RyanAirs aircraft need to be quarantined immediately and given a good clean up as well given it is quite obvious that the customers are pissing and defecating all over the seats and now they are being invited to pump sexual juices all over them as well.

    What next?

    Mile high Dogging Club?

  18. cs94njw
    WTF?

    I guess you really WOULD have snakes on a plane...

    Also, I assume it would be a device small enough to be held in one hand...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To be fair

    I've only flown Ryanair once and the plane was full of w@nkers, hence, only once.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Please stop publishing thats stupid companies publicity stunts

    I'm sick of it. How can you fall for it?

  21. pjcard
    FAIL

    I don't know who's worse...

    O'Leary for constantly pulling this PR BS (remember the standing seats, no?) or you and the Sun for printing it.

  22. Hairy Spod
    Joke

    I did once hear some one say that they provide w@nk service!

  23. proto-robbie
    Holmes

    Ten finger fumble ...

    ... One hand-held device too many, I feel.

  24. Armando 123
    Coat

    No thanks

    Handhelds aren't THAT private, and I'm not using a device others might have used before on a Ryan Air flight. In fact, I want a new, fresh-out-of-the-box seat. *shiver*

    Mine's the one with the Janitor In A Drum in the pocket.

  25. Blubster
    Unhappy

    No room

    To sit down never mind to get your dick out for a bit of self pollution.

  26. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Sounds like bullshit to me

    Surely there can't be enough room in a RyanAir seat to do the knuckle shuffle.

  27. Blubster
    Coat

    Or even......

    1st woman - the bloke sitting next to me is masturbating

    2nd woman - ignore him

    1st woman - I can't, he's using my hand

    1. Annihilator Silver badge
      Coat

      Optician: I think you need to stop masturbating.

      Patient: Why, is it making me blind?

      Optician: No, you're upsetting the rest of the waiting room.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I always thought O'Leary was a big fan of wanking

    and now here's the proof

  29. LaeMing

    R-air is preping for LEO flights

    Hot on the heels of Virgin, R-air is beginning to prep their planes for the inevitable dash to Low-Earth-Orbit flights. To counter the issues with moving about the planes in micro-gravity, they have devised a method to cheaply apply and maintain a sticky layer on floor and seat surfaces.

  30. Kubla Cant Silver badge
    Windows

    I can think of nothing worse

    ...than being stuck in a cramped RyanAir cabin along with a load of fanbois w4nking with their fondleslabs.

    Seriously, if iPad pr0n is what gets you off, I would have thought you'd have your own collection. Also, if RyanAir's actresses are to normal pr0n stars as their flights are to normal airlines', I imagine the movies would appeal to, er, specialist tastes only (see icon).

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New seating class?

    We used to have smoking and nonsmoking - perhaps they are contemplating a new class?

    "Well, you have a choice: wanking or non-wanking. Non-wanking? that will be 100 extra..."

    Although I suppose you wouldn't have as many children in wanking class....

  32. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Coat

    Brings a whole new meaning to the term

    SleazyJet...

    Coat?

  33. LinkOfHyrule
    WTF?

    They might as well do this on South West Trains too!...

    I got on a train from Waterloo to Portsmouth Harbour one late night a few months back. Needing to use the loo, I politely waited outside of the disabled tardis toilet as it was engaged. A few minuets later, the door slides open and me and the other passengers in the vestibule are greeted by a drunk male commuter proudly proclaiming "I just had a wank in here!" - typical Surrey commuter!

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Time for a new verse.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAg0lUYHHFc

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I deplore the fact

    that you have deliberately chosen to provide yet another channel for free R*** advertising. They have been doing this for years, some media have fallen for it, others have embraced it (anything goes as it generates traffic). However, I thought you had higher... higher s... stan, omg, I can't keep a straight face, standards, that's it.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Suspicious stains

    I once hired a new Mondeo, which had blotches of gloopy white residue on the steering wheel and dash, which I can't imagine was anything except, ahem, jus de l'homme.

    I can't think what I found more offensive - that the previous customer did it (why? My god, why?), or that the valeters didn't clean it afterwards.

    Anyway should O'Leary bring in in-flight pr0n I can foresee a competition to thus defile the various surfaces of the plane.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pr0n on The Worlds Least Favourite airline

    Surely that would be maps and glossy brochures of the large exciting cities passengers thought were being advertised, rather than the small dull ones 300 miles away that they are actually being taken to.

  38. s. pam
    WTF?

    OMFG

    Typical CryingThere B.S.

    Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase

    First Come, First Served....

    I'll get my coat

  39. Velv
    Go

    HA HA HA, I'm amased anyone fell for this obvious PR stunt.

    Ryanair is far to cheap to pay to install wi-fi on the planes.

    Stewardesses wandering down the aisle flogging the old fashioned paper cliterature is much more Ryanairs style.

  40. Doogie Howser MD
    Happy

    I would have thought this would have been more appropriate..

    ...for a carrier such as Aer Cunni-lingus?

    No?

    Coat please, goodnight! ;-)

  41. dotdavid
    Facepalm

    Not entirely unexpected

    Considering how cheap LCDs are right now, I'm surprised Ryanair don't install them on every seat back and make them constantly loop adverts at you unless you pay for the privilege of some in-flight entertainment.

    The currently proposal of renting fondleslabs is somewhat less annoying to the average passenger, but since when does Ryanair care about what the average passenger thinks? I give it a year; tops; before the screens go in.

    Oh and the porn idea is just wrong.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Never going to happen

    No, seriously. This is a publicity stunt similar to some of the Benetton ads.

  43. AndrewInIreland

    Errr...

    I think I see a flaw in Ryanair's thinking- If you drew a Venn Diagram of iPad Owners and People Who Fly Ryanair, you'd get two circles that do not intersect.

  44. lonefox
    Mushroom

    New marketting slogan ?

    "The airline run by a wanker, for wankers."

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021