back to article Americans' right to hang fake balls on trucks left dangling

Americans on the horns of a constitutional dilemma over their right to hang simulated, over-sized testicles from the back of their pickups will have to wait even longer for the issue to be decided. Truck nuts Virginia Tice, of Bonneau, South Carolina, was hit with a $445 ticket back in July for hanging a pair of the "truck …


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  1. TRT Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    The right to free expression...

    is under threat of castration.

  2. Yag

    This is completely nuts...

  3. nichobe

    Next model...

    Crown jewel encrusted anyone?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Spend all that money?

      Nah, I'll just tie a space hopper to the bumper and call it the Wesley Warren edition.

  4. Inachu
    IT Angle

    At first I did not know what they were.

    At first I did not know what they were and then thought yeah they could be nuts but also seems to be a lazy mans way to hang in such a manner that the eye hook that it hangs from cleans away any rust that might be on the hook that it is hanging from.

    Might be a worthy tool for lazy people for polishing their trailer hitch balls.

    Just hang larger ones below it and let the inside of the hook be sandpaper or an SOS pad.

    Btu of course that would be silly to do even though that is a good idea to market.

    PATENT PENDING! lol yeah riiiiight.

    People in chat forums refuse to think that I was the guy who thought up the TV show DEXTER.

    Just someone stole the idea from me. Oh well. win some lose some.

    1. AndyS

      Didn't quite follow that

      I'm sorry, but, what?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Unholy turdspurt

        Check out his other contributions. He's one crazy dude.

        (anonymous as I get the feeling he has a bunker in Montana and a large collection of firearms)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Makes amanfrommars(1) seem positively cogent...

  5. Pete the not so great

    I'd buy a pair but...

    Do they have any tesimonials?

  6. Matt Piechota


    Really, we're not all like that.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    What do you mean "over-sized"?

    1. Captain Save-a-ho


      It must have been cold outside (despite the chap sporting such dapper jorts)

  8. IR

    I always thought they were rather silly, just like the person who buys a truck to make themselves feel big (there are far fewer who legitimately need a truck), but at more than $50 for a pair of rubber testicles to hang from it?! That's just nuts (pun not originally intended)

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You missed one cliche

    What happens when it snows??... Cold as a Monkey's ....

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Serious case of tow-ball abuse...

  11. Richard Pennington 1

    You could say...

    ... that the ball's in their court ...

    1. Captain Save-a-ho

      There I fixed it

      You could say that the balls are in their court...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I've seen these in the UK, the only word that I thought was "Classy".

    I mean, seriously, what is the thought process? "you know what'll make me look really cool and let everyone else know that I'm the king of the road? Bumper Bollocks!"

    I'm torn between thinking it's a freedom of expression thing and that they should have their driver's license taken away for the good of the rest of us. (I'd also extend this to everyone who owns a BMW M3 that has a numberplate containing "M3")

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      on balance

      I think people should be able to indulge their taste for this kind of thing - it sends a clear message to other road users that they should be avoided at all costs.

      as for the M3 registration plate brigade, I suspect they should be gassed.

    2. Pete 2 Silver badge

      Re: what is the thought process?


    3. Someone Else Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      "Bumper Bollocks"

      Not knowing the Brit market, I'm not sure if this is already in use...but if it isn't, you have got to copyright that!

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hmmm, must see if I can fit a set of Bumper Bollocs to an M3.

      But don't recall that I've ever seen an M3 with a tow hitch.

  13. TRT Silver badge


    I wonder... A DAB radio housed inside a pair of fake, plastic testicles... Ack, I suppose it would only pick up BBC Parliament and similar. What more could you expect from talking bollocks?

  14. Lars Silver badge

    Just hardware

    Anybody who wants to bye my "software" patent for a dangling vagina.

    I thought so.

  15. jake Silver badge

    What a load of cobblers ...

    Whilst I personally wouldn't adorn my pickup with this kind of "art", last time I looked we do still have freedom of expression here in the USofA.

    Besides, things like this, along with welded chain license plate frames, a gazillion bumper stickers, and the like, help the sane amongst us steer clear of society's nutters.

    1. LateNightLarry

      What a load of cobblers...

      We may still have freedom of expression in the USA, but we also have some blue-nosed plods who think their badge entitles them to write brand new laws about things like truck nuts, simply because THEY are personally offended.

      Have to settle for a beer because El Reg doesn't have a wine goblet available. Actually, I'll need several to forget this

  16. Tchou

    All time low reached.

    1. Captain Save-a-ho

      Just wait...this is only the early stages of the Idiocracy...

  17. Peter Simpson 1

    Not available in titanium?

    America - land of the free!

    //where good taste takes a holiday

  18. Atonnis


    ...what is the statement that these people are trying to make?

    Personally, I think you should be able to put up what you want in/on your vehicle. It's a real world out there and people shouldn't all have to change their personalities or their ways just because someone gets a bit snorty.

    As long as it's not actually harming anyone, why shouldn't you be able to do what you want?

  19. Sir Runcible Spoon


    Does anyone know the law in the Uk?

    I have a pair of silver bollocks from a while back that I think would look just dandy hanging off my Victory cruiser :D

  20. amanfromearth

    It's not just balls.

    You should see what else they hang off their trucks..

    1. LateNightLarry

      It's not just balls...

      Actually, the bumper dumper (tm) makes sense in some cases... better than having to squat over a log out in the woods...

      Mine's the yellow slicker... I'm going to need it to keep off the shower of peanuts coming at me...

  21. Haku

    Truck nuts aren't offensive.

    They do make you look like an ass though.

  22. JRBobDobbs
    Paris Hilton

    Makes perfect sense to me

    Car is a penis extension after all..

    1. Armando 123

      which explains smart cars ...

  23. Silverburn

    Obscene bumper law

    Your know your country is disappearing up it's own arse when it needs laws like this.

    For balance, I should point out that being brits, we disappeared up our own PC/health&safety infected arses years ago.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    pickup truck

    now you can get some (fake) testicles to go with your penis substitute

  25. katoom

    cock riding?

    Something I have always wanted to ask the mostly male and homophobic drivers of these trucks: If those are his balls, aren't you riding/sitting with his penis up your arse?

  26. sisk

    No more offensive than a zoo

    Seriously, if you're going to call these offensive you need to put pants on the zoo animals. Besides, these folks have a right to their bad taste. Personally I don't get the point behind the things (or any of the other various crap people put on their cars for that matter) but they certainly shouldn't be illegal.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Agree with the cop

    Fraid we all agree with the cop, it's long overdue for these to be banned. It's not about freedom of expression, but about standards. And standards shouldn't be set by the lowest common denominator.

    1. Cameron Colley

      Personally I thought they were a silly idea.

      Now, though, I think they're great and that rather than being banned they should be compulsary.

      It's not about freedom of expression but about uptight pricks who think they're the only ones whose standards should apply.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        In your face numb nut.

        Have you not heard of 'freedom from expression' a la 'freedom from religion'...? Like the gentleman in the photo, apparently not.

  28. Blubster

    Local police chief Franco Fuda....

    Wants sacking.

  29. Armando 123


    I once owned a pickup truck -- useful if you go hunting and fishing, which I no longer do, or if you own a house, which I do. However, I never put fake plums on it.

    Personally, I think these people are idiots but I'd prefer to see them with these things if they desire to have them. I makes it easier for us to spot the kind of drivers who would do this, just like a Korean car makes it easier to spot the kind of driver who knows nothing about driving.

  30. Paul RND*1000

    Permit them, please!

    There'd be general uproar and malcontent if the government tried to force all selfish idiots to display a tag on their vehicles which stated, in bold red text on a yellow background "I AM A SELFISH IDIOT".

    Allowing them to hang these things from their overly large trucks (which they generally never use for any purpose a small car backed up by an occasional rental from U-Haul couldn't fulfill) means they're doing the exact same thing, voluntarily.

  31. bazza Silver badge

    Only in America...

    'nuff said.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Most people don't have the balls to go through with this!


    For those people think he should be fined - I find all anti abortion, religious, kids on board and "if you can read this ...." offensive. first offense - off with their heads. Repeat offenders are treated much more harshley

    (If we are going to have a "good taste god" it may as well be me!)

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nuts on bumper, penis in driver's seat.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Perhaps the ticket was inappropriate?

    Maybe they should have given the driver a ticket for stupidity instead?

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    In what way????

    Or am i just blessed/cursed???

  36. FozzyBear

    Oh come on finish the job

    All he needs is a nice hairy crack spray painted onto the tailgate. Now that will send a message. Not sure which one, but a message none the less

  37. Charles Manning

    The bloke is sitting the wrong way around

    The left nut usually hangs lower.

  38. Ray 8


    Im in the mood playing AC/DC Big Balls very loud

  39. TRT Silver badge


    Have they featured these yet?

  40. Battle Stations


    OMG ! I recognise that scrotum ! I wondered where I left it. Commensurate reward offered for safe return ....

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    but... but...

    There's only two?

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