BOFH: Hordes unleashed... by a RAM upgrade BOFH Volume 5 It’s the same old story – you make some tiny change and before you know it they're oozing out of the woodwork. You know who I'm talking about – the idiots. They notice that your signature uses Garamond instead of Times Roman and before you know it they're on the phone wanting to know if there's a new …
"PFY's fault for pointing out that the desktops we were dumping had the same memory as half the desktops we were keeping and so if there were free slots on the keepers we may as well use them"
This sounds remarkably customer focussed for the PFY & the BOFH... What about the opportunity for a bidding process and all the back-handers & corporate freebies such an exercise entails?
As an IT pro, I've learned that sometimes that adding memory to the desktops may create some work up front, but will save you a lot of "it's slow" calls later down the line that eat up tons of your time only to get rejected whenever you put in a request for new equipment. That little tiny bit of customer focus was entirely self motivated because everyone knows that the only response to "it's slow" is tell them to shut up and deal with it.
The mistake came into play when they told someone they were doing it. Never tell people about upgrades, because the moment you do everything is at fault of the upgrade. I have literally heard someone bitch about the fact the damned microwave wasn't working on a computer software upgrade on a server. Users hear upgrade and think "this is my chance to bitch about everything" so never tell the user there is an upgrade. Ever.
I was waiting (hoping) for the flicking sound of the excuse calendar, a declaration of some elegant technical issue, followed 5minutes later by multiple <zzert> sounds and the lights dimming briefly. The investigation of the aftermath finding the (L)user and corrie email friends all held hands, whilst the main culprit tested the mains using a straightened paper clip and his tongue.
This is the same BOFH and PFY who have a history of stealing the RAM from users' newly-upgraded PCs to use in their own gear. Now they're reclaiming RAM from computers they're getting rid of and just *giving* it to the users? It doesn't fit - unless they're damaging it first in order to rack up the overtime support charges, but that doesn't seem to be where this is going...
We had an IT-illiterate senior PA, and we always knew that any change, she would be convinced had affected her PC. New printer, new microwave, clock change ... anything. So when we were planning a PC replacement roll-out, we left her tatty old mouse, keyboard and monitor (complete with password post-its!) in place and just swapped the base unit - which was out of sight under the desk. Not a word of complaint: she may even have thanked us for leaving it all alone for her! A few months later she was complaining about how slow her PC was compared to everyone else's new ones: so at that point we "speeded it up" by swapping the peripherals!!
When the BOFH / PFY wage evil, they win ten times out of nine. (Math error? Why, no... Has sir counted sir's change of late?)
On the atypical occasion when their behaviour diverges from strictly evil (a naïve observer might misidentify their actions as "positive" or even "charitable" – stop sniggering, damn it), *that's* when they reap a shafting of truly Royal Order.
Thus is balance reflected in the Tao.
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