back to article Man 'drinks 2 pizzas' before skidding off road

A Kentucky man is facing drugs charges after driving into a ditch before telling officers he'd "drunk too much pizza" for lunch. Officers were called to the intersection of La Costa Road and Stonybrook Drive in Louisville on Saturday to investigate a vehicle which had found its way into a ditch. Local news outfit WLKY reports …


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  1. gautam


    Is that an IT story at all? IS it worthy of mention here?

    Sometimes, you guys just dont make sense, in such a forum/portal ... whatever you call it.

    There are more interesting stories in US tabloids if you troll enough, then. Just dont foist it uppon us , here in UK.

    1. DAN*tastik

      Q: Is that an IT story at all?

      A: No

      Q: IS it worthy of mention here?

      A: Yes

    2. Willington

      Are you new here?

      It was clearly labelled bootnotes!

      In future please avoid the bootnotes or at least please avoid commenting on them.

    3. Just Thinking

      Puzzled by such a large number of downvotes here.

      I know bootnotes don't have to be about IT, and some of the best ones aren't. But this story seems utterly unremarkable.

      Or have a missed something? Any of the downvoters care to explain?

    4. John H Woods Silver badge

      In case you are wondering...

      ... why you've been downvoted ...

      boot FUCKING notes


    5. O RLY

      There are plenty of other articles to choose

      that are IT related. It isn't as if The Reg made all of the links go to this one.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No ITAngle because it is in bootnotes.

      Next time please use the Icon 'IT?' !

      Then the content of your comment is already clear and I won't need to read.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        would not be bootnotes

        wouldn't be a proper bootnote if someone didn't post the it angle question, so to all those who whine about it: STFU!

        1. Just Thinking

          @ AC would not be bootnotes

          Looks like anyone who doesn't agree that this is the most interesting article ever published gets downvoted at the moment. Playing havoc with my averages.

          I really don't get it. It isn't the lack of an IT angle, its the utter pointlessness of the story. Stoned driver says something a bit odd to the Police - yep, they tend to. It is more like something you would read in The Onion (except they use deliberately pointless made up stories for comic effect).

          Ahh, is that it? Went straight over my head.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            It's labelled as a bootnote. It's funny. It cheered up my tea break. I may mention it to a cow-worker. Worthy story.

            Are we introducing some new humour standard, where any bootnote has to score 3.6 or more on the chuckle scale?

            1. Just Thinking

              It just isn't funny


              That's funny.

              1. Grease Monkey Silver badge

                "It just isn't funny."

                Please STFU we're all bored with you now.

    7. BoldMan

      Bootnotes - check the bloody category...

    8. Dan 10
      Thumb Down

      Sure I won't be the first to say...


      See your double-digit thumbs down...

    9. A J Stiles

      This is Bootnotes

      No IT angle necessary.

    10. J 3


      See title. If you don't get it, then yeah, you're too new here.

    11. stucs201

      Of course its IT related.

      Its about pizza, which is definately IT geek food; I remember a version of 'the hackers purity test' from years ago asking if you'd ever wish you could download pizza. Of course thats a much less silly proposition these days when some places really do let you order via the web-site, pay with paypal and track the cooking/delivery process online.

    12. Jason Togneri

      To the downvoted gautam...

      "There are more interesting stories in US tabloids if you troll enough, then. Just dont foist it uppon us , here in UK."

      No, there are more interesting stories in the US tabloids if your trawl them. There are more interesting comments in the comments section if you troll them. Congratulations, you have now experienced both. This is what is known as a homophone (two words which are different but which sound the same or very similar). Have a good day, sir.

      1. gautam
        Paris Hilton

        Still stinks for the sheer pointlessness

        Surely, there are better IT angle-less stories abounding around, then. How come The Register UK managed to find THIS ONE in the middle of nowhere in a small town Kentucky place, perhaps reported in a nondescript local tabloid beats me.

        eg Dale farm Travellers/ protestors pitching tent for 10 years , when they are supposed to be "Travellers" because petrol prices hitting them high and road taxes unaffordable.


        David Cameroon slashed IT budgets and I ended up chewing the innards of my monitor mixed with my lunchtime fix out of sheer frustration.


        I met Gordon Brown in my dreams telling me he is saving the world and I also got delusional as well thinking about it!

        Paris, becasue even she can make a point or two!

        Could have spiced it up even better.

    13. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Your profile says you signed up in 2007

      You should know the drill by now...

    14. Captain Scarlet

      Rabble Rabble Rabble

      I felt like joining in with the lynch mob.

  2. DavCrav

    Drinkifying snacks

    Thinking about pizzas being turned into a drink... Already been thought of:

    FAIL because of the following quotation from PepsiCo:

    “We see the emerging opportunity to ‘snackify’ beverages and ‘drinkify’ snacks as the next frontier in food and beverage convenience,”

    1. some vaguely opinionated bloke

      Indeed. The opportunities are to "snackificationalize" and "drinkificationalize".

      This is just another instance of corporate disgustingificationalizationizing.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. K. Adams

        @Lee: "Already done: beer. Both a snack in a beverage form and a beverage in snack form."

        Only if it's a proper Stout; most other beers aren't "chewy" enough... :-)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Just to add

      Pizza in a blender, mixed with beer for consistency, is drinkable but not particularly nice.

      Just putting a warning out there for anyone else who thought it'd be a good idea...:P

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reminds me of the old gag:

    I haven't had a c*nt, drinkstable.

  4. Daedalus

    Make mine extra thick

    Texas Toast is a brand name of a particularly thickly sliced white bread, mostly used to mop up gallons of gravy in diners in the southern US. None of which explains why it's used as slang for an opiate substitute.

  5. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    The real question is

    Did he put the pizza or his brains in the blender.

    By bet is on the latter

  6. Anonymous Coward

    I read this and went straight over to my local Pizza Hut to buy some; but the staff didnt seem to understand a word I was saying.

    I really must get around to learning the local language

  7. Sir Cosmo Bonsor
    IT Angle

    Texas Toast?

    You've not been blindly repeating unverified claims from Wikipedia again have you, Reg?

    1. Panix

      Yeah, I'd like to know where that one come from. I've only heard subs, atleast around here.

      Must be some bangin' dope.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Suboxin is definitely NOT bangin at all. Unless you like shit like Methadone. I never used it when I was kicking Roxis and from what I understand it don't work for what they say it does. But then again, trying to kick an addiction by using what amounts to the same chemicals is just stupid if you ask me.

  8. blkbam


    Drink a pizza is now our official terminology for lunch time beverage consumption.

  9. ukgnome


    ....or it didn't happen!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beef Shake.

    People with esophagus disorder (or any sort of problem that doesn't allow chewing and swallowing) must inject beef shake straight to stomach. Best served with pineapples, to help digestion. It ain't pretty, but effective!

    It's serious though... some milk-shakes are so thick that are better served with a spoon.

    1. Chris Seiter
      Thumb Up

      I have a new pickup line now. "How about a nice thick beef shake?"

  11. K. Adams

    Don(n) Adams...

    "Missed it by **that** much...!" (Holds thumb and forefinger about 3/4-inch apart.)

  12. Bassey


    He was merely drunk and the cops just misheard the word "Pitchers" as in;

    "I don't understand it. I only drank two Pitchers of beer for lunch".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Gee thanks

      Spoil a perfectly good bit of silliness with a reasonable explanation why don't you?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    He ordered two margheritas and there was a misuderstanding....

  14. Asgard

    @"‘snackify’ beverages and ‘drinkify’ snacks"

    This guy was apparently just ahead of the curve, so to speak, (but not the ditch).

    I also like the bit where he said it was a friend ... yeah right, like that will work because they have never heard that one before :) ... its always a friend who does these things. Its not me officer, it was a friend. :)

    So in summary, a man from Kentucky almost cooked his goose after drinking too much pizza and having some Texas Toast. :)

    1. An(other) Droid

      > Its not me officer, it was a friend. :)

      No, it was the one armed man!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    YES he has no problem

    Unfortunately there are drug addicts all over causing great problems for society.

    1. A J Stiles

      Drug addicts causing problems

      Most of the problems associated with illegal drugs are due to illegality, as opposed to any intrinsic property of the drugs themselves.

      By the way, we are all born opiate addicts. That warm, fuzzy feeling you get when helping an old lady across the road, that told Ugg the Caveman he was doing something of evolutionary benefit to his species? That is caused by endorphins, your body's own homebrew µ-receptor agonists. Some people are actually able to get an endorphin buzz by deliberately inflicting pain on themselves.

  16. Andy Landy


    classic ren and stimpy...

    "what would you like to drink?"


  17. Joe User

    What a menu!

    Would you like your pizzas with extra toppings of Jack Daniels and Jim Beam?

  18. T J
    Thumb Up

    Call Saul!!

    Paging Mr. Goodman. Mind you he covered his ass quite well with all the denials (he shouldnt have opened his mouth at all of course); his lawyer should be able to defend him.

  19. earl grey

    i surely miss the moderatrix

    We need someone to whip the whingers into place.

  20. Slim Chance

    Pizza - Food of the gods

    This story amused me.

    Drug addicts can be very funny on a few occasions, but mainly sad.

    Looks like this poor guy was the horse instead of the rider, as usual.

    I wish him all the best in beating his addiction, good luck pizza-man.

  21. joshimitsu

    I too overcomplified how I saw it -

    and assumed he had no teeth and had blended his pizza into a superthick soup

  22. Andy Hards

    Can I just explain the Texas Toast reference..

    They are fairly large tablets that are toasty coloured, although more biscuity in my opinion although I am stumped on why the Texas bit was added. Maybe the drugs are just shit in Texas?

  23. Magnus_Pym

    Steve Martin's 'The Jerk' features Cup 'o' Pizza as a fast food outlet. If memory serves.

  24. Juan Inamillion

    @Don(n) Adams...

    Damn you sir, you beat me to it!!

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