DARPA software to trawl Bin Laden laptops, thumb drives

Famous Pentagon mad-scientist bureau DARPA says it would like some miracle software to help hard-pressed US spooks and military intelligence officers trawl through the massive troves of imagery retrieved from gadgetry seized in the ongoing massive campaign of special-forces raids across southwest Asia. The new project has been …

[Anonymous Coward]

Chuckme!

The CIA has the Intersect already...DARPA only need to make a call to the Buy More :-)

[Vladimir Plouzhnikov]

VMR

?VMR-I-Image obtained, processing...

...click click click...

?VMR-I-Subject identified - it's that same bloke in balaclava with an AK-47!

[Alan 6]

CSI

Can't they just make a call to the producers of CSI, they've got this software already :-)

Seriously though, I work for a CCTV distributor and we often get people asking for this kind of stuff, and the usual comment when I say it's not something you can do is "well I saw them do it on CSI last week" - and these are CCTV professionals, not Joe Public.

I was also asked for "a really big camera, you know, like the one Google Earth uses", I gave that guy the number for NASA...

[laird cummings]

Next time...

...Give 'em the public number for the NSA!

[Alan 6]

NSA Contacts

Amazingly there are a number of ways to contact the NSA

http://www.nsa.gov/public_info/contacts/index.shtml

Or you could just send yourself an email headed "Death to the President" and a representative will be in touch shortly...

[Dave Murray]

Facebook?

Can't they just upload them all to Facebook and let their facial recognition system loose on them?

[The last doughnut]

Not a terrist

I expect they will have a lot of good quality photographs of familiar London landmarks in there.

[Dom 3]

Phrasing...

You've made it sound like the SAS and the SBS are considered "tier two".

[Alan Dougherty]

Considering

the ass raping Labour gave to the countries financies, I'd say they probably are T2 until 2015 at least.. by which time, the Tories will be back in opposition, and the military will have to bend over for another round.

[Scott Broukell]

mmmmm ....

.... all this Stuff from the home (hideout), of a man who, reportedly, spent years being totally paranoid about anybody coming within ten miles of him with an active cell phone / laptop, or even one that was still "warm". I guess he must have been getting old and crotchety allowing this mountain of techno-junk to fill up his lair.

Did they find his tin-foil hat I wonder ?

[Ryan 7]

Surely by the time DARPA have developed this wonder-software,

Google will have released a better version?

Perhaps it's easier just to wait.

[Nights_are_Long]

So.

So it's the millspec version of The Porn Detector stick.

http://www.paraben-sticks.com/porn-detection-stick.html

[Graham Bartlett]

SAS/SBS

One suspects the SAS/SBS might dispute being considered "Tier 2"...

[Anonymous Coward]

Same thing with the SEALs and the rest

In the corporate world we'd "rebaseline" a situation like this and call the "Super Elites" Tier 0.

As to not offend the rest of the Elites by demoting them to Tier 2... we'd still call them Tier 1.

Simples :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Porn detection stick

Does it work with pornstars of any race?

Does it work with hentai?

[Nights_are_Long]

Below.

It's supposed to, I am not sure about the accuracy when it comes to hentai though.