back to article DARPA software to trawl Bin Laden laptops, thumb drives

Famous Pentagon mad-scientist bureau DARPA says it would like some miracle software to help hard-pressed US spooks and military intelligence officers trawl through the massive troves of imagery retrieved from gadgetry seized in the ongoing massive campaign of special-forces raids across southwest Asia. The new project has been …


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  1. Anonymous Coward


    The CIA has the Intersect already...DARPA only need to make a call to the Buy More :-)

  2. Vladimir Plouzhnikov


    ?VMR-I-Image obtained, processing... click click...

    ?VMR-I-Subject identified - it's that same bloke in balaclava with an AK-47!

  3. Alan 6


    Can't they just make a call to the producers of CSI, they've got this software already :-)

    Seriously though, I work for a CCTV distributor and we often get people asking for this kind of stuff, and the usual comment when I say it's not something you can do is "well I saw them do it on CSI last week" - and these are CCTV professionals, not Joe Public.

    I was also asked for "a really big camera, you know, like the one Google Earth uses", I gave that guy the number for NASA...

    1. laird cummings
      Big Brother

      Next time...

      ...Give 'em the public number for the NSA!

      1. Alan 6

        NSA Contacts

        Amazingly there are a number of ways to contact the NSA

        Or you could just send yourself an email headed "Death to the President" and a representative will be in touch shortly...

  4. Dave Murray


    Can't they just upload them all to Facebook and let their facial recognition system loose on them?

  5. The last doughnut

    Not a terrist

    I expect they will have a lot of good quality photographs of familiar London landmarks in there.

  6. Dom 3


    You've made it sound like the SAS and the SBS are considered "tier two".

    1. Alan Dougherty


      the ass raping Labour gave to the countries financies, I'd say they probably are T2 until 2015 at least.. by which time, the Tories will be back in opposition, and the military will have to bend over for another round.

  7. Scott Broukell

    mmmmm ....

    .... all this Stuff from the home (hideout), of a man who, reportedly, spent years being totally paranoid about anybody coming within ten miles of him with an active cell phone / laptop, or even one that was still "warm". I guess he must have been getting old and crotchety allowing this mountain of techno-junk to fill up his lair.

    Did they find his tin-foil hat I wonder ?

  8. Ryan 7

    Surely by the time DARPA have developed this wonder-software,

    Google will have released a better version?

    Perhaps it's easier just to wait.

  9. Nights_are_Long


    So it's the millspec version of The Porn Detector stick.

  10. Graham Bartlett


    One suspects the SAS/SBS might dispute being considered "Tier 2"...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Same thing with the SEALs and the rest

      In the corporate world we'd "rebaseline" a situation like this and call the "Super Elites" Tier 0.

      As to not offend the rest of the Elites by demoting them to Tier 2... we'd still call them Tier 1.

      Simples :)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Porn detection stick

    Does it work with pornstars of any race?

    Does it work with hentai?

    1. Nights_are_Long


      It's supposed to, I am not sure about the accuracy when it comes to hentai though.

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