back to article Woman in strop strip for Bermuda airport customs

A 36-year-old woman faced with a customs search at Bermuda's LF Wade International Airport rather brilliantly responded by instantly shedding her clothes and telling officers: “If you want to see me naked, you can do it right fucking here.” Loukai Phillips, a Bermudian native now living abroad, had just flown in from London on …


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  1. takuhii

    If you don't want to be search don't come through customs!!

    How else are we supposed to get into the country???

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Have nothing to declare..

      Although I have e feeling that would not make a difference. They either have it in for this woman, or she's so good looking that they have gone "creative" on the reporting system. After all, who watches the watchers?

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Re: If you don't want to be search don't come through customs!!

      Should we look forward to a further case where she is caught illegally entering the country?

      I look forward to the defence of "your honour told me to avoid customs...."

    3. Nuke


      Just don't come.

      1. LaeMing


        Yup, last thing the US needs is foreigners coming in and spending money! Discourage the lot of them!

        1. Anonymous Coward

          Bermuda is not the US

          Although the airport is in US ATC, Bermuda is not really part of the US.

        2. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

          When did...

          the USA invade Bermuda?

    4. Shane 4

      Boat people

      Illegally like most other people. lol

    5. R.P.Charlie

      How else are we supposed to get into the country???

      Cross from Mexico as an illegal alien and then get a job with the TSA.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nice to see the intellectual response from the magistrate:

    "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs."


    1. LaeMing

      "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs."

      I think it is the new slogan of the US tourism board?

  3. Michael H.F. Wilkinson


    Or it did not happen

  4. Bumpy Cat

    Huh ...

    I never see anything that exciting when I go through the airport.

    1. TakeTheSkyRoad

      Huh ...

      Same... though if I tell work I'd like to fly via Bermuda instead of Amsterdam I'd probably also hear some foul language

  5. Tomato42

    "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs"

    So, she can now legally use back exit to sidestep customs?

  6. Bill Fresher

    Do it here

    Thank goodness OAPs going for a prostrate exam don't take the same approach in their GPs waiting room.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Categorical error

      An "OAP" (actually man over 40) going for a "prostrate" exam* would be aware ahead of the fact that they are going to have a finger put up their bottom and would further be aware that the doctor was doing this in order to ascertain whether their prostate (note spelling) is in a healthy condition. The fact that they have voluntarily requested this procedure indicates that they are willing to put up with this.

      Meanwhile, this woman is being repeatedly subjected to an unnecessary and humiliating strip-search that provides no advantage to anyone. The fact that it is both involuntary, and that refusal to submit to it would place her in danger of arrest and imprisonment, further compounds the categorical error you make in trying to claim that they are no different…

      * Is a prostrate exam the one taken by prostitutes before they get their license?

  7. Metal Marv
    Thumb Up

    Reading between the lines......

    ...Is that an invitation to enter the country by other means?

  8. David Hicks
    Big Brother

    That's right citizen

    It's give up your rights and your privacy or stay the f*ck at home!

    Love this world. Oh yes, it just gets better every day.

  9. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    Big Brother

    There's the rub

    "If you don't want to be searched, don't come through customs."

    This is the fundamental misunderstanding of the role of customs, as an organ of the state, with relation to the citizen that is becoming unfortunately commonplace. By extension: if you don't want to be arrested for loitering, don't leave the house; if you don't want your phone tapped, don't use it, etc.

    Could you pass me my coat, please? It's the one with "The Social Contract" in the pocket.

    1. Michael Dunn


      Someone remembers Jean-Jaques!

    2. kissingthecarpet

      Thats the official police line

      I've been told more than once by the filth "If you don't want to be strip searched/arrested stay indoors". Some years ago, admittedly as I'm no longer in the "ZOMG he's under 30 better nick him" bracket. In fact its weird - I can just walk past cops smoking spliffs & they don't even look at me. Probably looking for a teenager to blame.

      I started to do the same as this woman once, when pulled by Woking cops 3 times in 24 hours for no rational reason - I recall shouting "If you want to look at my cock again..." & starting to remove my clothes - then unbelievably they actually almost apologised - "I can see why you might be annoyed..."

  10. Anonymous Coward


    She certainly gave bystanders something to loukai at.

  11. Number6


    Get the Playmobil squad on the job at once!

  12. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Big Brother

    "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs."

    Why not abolish customs?

    1. Andus McCoatover

      Why not abolish customs?

      Because they're customs, and customary. Any excuse for a Government to rob people is OK, surely? NOT!!!

  13. James 51

    If you don't want to be searched, don't go through customs

    Isn't that like saying if you don't want to be mugged, don't walk down the street?

    Being strip searched everything you travel does sound like harraisment, particulalrly if she hasn't been convicted of something like smuggling.

    No doubt there are over-worked professions who are just trying to do their job but too many seem to have fallen into the Standford experiment for comfort.

  14. Eponymous Retard

    Pics or didn't happen

    See title

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    lol genius, but I can't blame the woman - and god damn if I could get into a country without having to cross customs as customs is full of brain dead douche bags.

  16. Anonymous Coward

    Meanwhile in Scotland

    The "naked rambler" has been sentenced to just under 2 years in jail for refusing to wear clothes (before someone mentions it, there has been no suggestion of any sexual conduct and Scotland was the first place who gave him hassle), something which is NOT illegal, however Tayside Police, Tayside Area Procurator Fiscals (one and the same with Tayside Police tbh) and Perth Judiciary seem to have unilaterally decided it is and have set out on a witch hunt. Mainly by waiting outside the jail on the day of his release.

    Good to know there is so little crime they have time to harass someone who doesn't want to wear clothes, that the prisons are so empty the judges feel free to send him there for 2 years and that we are so flush with cash we can squander another £80,000 on locking up someone on such a spurious charge </sarcasm> Meanwhile back in the real world, someone who attempted to murder someone by stamping repeatedly on their head gets a structured deferred sentence, people who mug old ladies get probation and if they are unlucky community service. Also council services being slashed left right and centre.

    Seems many in "Law enforcement" are stuck in the Victorian era or believe that Judge Dredd is a model for the world.......

    FFS if the man wants to walk around naked in this fridge of an island and risk frostbite, good for him, seriously there are many many more important issues to deal with than someone not supporting the textile industry

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      Big Brother

      Democracy = Mob Rule = Fascism

      There are seemingly few rights when someone goes against dictated society norms; it's conform or be punished. Those causing physical harm will often suffer less punishment than those simply causing 'righteous indignation' to that end.

      I personally find it a bit odd seeing people walking the streets naked and there are many other things I could choose to take offence at, but I choose to simply ignore them if that doesn't harm me. It's a shame others don't do that but prefer a more fascistic response. They're usually the one's proclaiming it's all about "rights", but only their rights it seems.

      1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

        Re: democracy and such

        I've been itching to answer this one all day but I've been a bit busy.

        Democracy is not just elections. Democracy is, at it's base, holding those in power to accountin order to limit their ambitions to serving the people. A mere election is usually the most efficient way to choose who those in power are going to be but it is not the essential element of a democratic system of government. The House of Lords, prior to being stuffed with government-appointed stooges and tripped of its ability to prevent the cabinet exercising untrammelled power, was more democratic than our current "system".

        When a democratic system comes apart, it becomes mob rule and a sort of soft totalitarianism (fascism is actually the merging of state power with private capital, with the state totally directing the use of capital without actually taking ownership, but who's counting?) but by dint of that failure it stops being democracy - those in power are no longer held to account, the system no longer prevents their excesses but encourages them. A functional democracy prevents mob rule.

    2. bazza Silver badge


      It seems he's spent most of the past 10 years in a Scottish jail for the same reason. Now that doesn't sound very proportionate in comparison to, for example, Al Megrahi who did a mere 8 years for bombing the Pan Am jumbo killing 270 people.

      1. Colin Miller

        In & out of jail more often than <redacted>

        He gets released from prison, naked, the police promptly pick him up for public nudity, and he's back to court. He appears naked, and gets another stint for public nudity and contempt of court for refusing to put on some clothes when the judge orders him to do so. Rinse, lather, repeat.

        HMP Perth, where he's been detained, is in the outskirts of Perth. If he put on even a pair of boxers until he was in the countryside then there would be less of an issue.. Personally, I think he should be released on a crisp, but dry, winter morning.

        1. Anonymous Coward

          Or just live and let live

          Given Tayside cops have said several times there are offences they do not enforce like joyriding (nice to know they can and do ignore the law when they feel like it *roll eyes*)

          Would it not have just been simpler to take a pragmatic view and just escort him out of their jurisdiction or just let him finish the walk and ignore the minority of idiots who claim to have been mortally offended?

          Then again given the fundamentalist religious views of many Scottish politicians I'm surprised they didn't try to stick him on the "Register" or jail him for life

    3. LaeMing

      That's his mistake.

      If he had been going around naked committing actual crimes, he would havd gotten off.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      2 Thumbs down?

      So either 2 coppers, mary whitehouse wannabe's, procurator fiscals or judges read the register....seems even some daily mail readers share my view...given the number of thumbs up....probably due to the cost to the taxpayer more than approval of nudity tho

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    fuckwits rule

    "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs"

    Authorities are fuckwits, no matter where you live!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Based on your tale, then bully for her.

    Don't come through customs ? So that's an enticement to sneak in and out of the country elsewhere on the coast ? I'm sure we'd all rather forgo the pleasure of going through customs.

  19. BigG

    Won't somebody think of the children

    Prosecutors demanded a fine as punishment for the outrage, since "children had been present and Phillips had repeatedly used bad language while removing her clothes".

    What? No justification because ladies were present too?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    shame about the bad language

    Otherwise the 'think of the children' response from the officials could have been refuted as ludicrous... not that the whole thing is not ludicrous.

    Also judge is encouraging the defendant to commit crime with the 'dont go through through customs' remark - since that is clearly suggesting that there are other means to get into the country.

  21. Naughtyhorse

    I must have read a diferent article to you guys

    "unspecified past association"

    so her ex was a smuggler (pure conjecture on my part - but it's hard to think of an association that could relate to customs that isnt about smuggling)

    that's why she's constantly being searched.

    which strikes me as hardly surprising.

    if that is the case then the judged remarks look more like

    "stop trying to smuggle shit, and we'll stop trying to catch you"

    or at worst

    "cos we strongly suspect\are aware of you of smuggling in the past, we are no longer prepared to take your word"

    I could well be wrong, and maybe she really is being victimised... who knows

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      @I must have read...

      Sure, sure, no smoke without fire right? Guilty by association?

      Sometimes (often?) the autorities are plain wrong and abusive. See the post about the naked rambler above.

      The question is, what to do about it?

      1. Fatman
        Big Brother

        RE: The question is, what to do about it?

        My favorite is repeated shocks to the nutz with a taser.

        The saying can become "Taze that MoFo".

    2. PsychicMonkey
      Thumb Down

      or maybe

      she had a boyfriend who was a smuggler, she found out and chucked him but still has to put up with this sort of shit every time she flies anywhere?

      You are assuming she had knowledge of the incidents that her past associate's mis-deeds, we don't know.

      It still seems harsh to me to be searched every time she fly's just because of someone she knew.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Presumably the many previous searches found nothing?

      ... else they wouldn't be very good to be used in her defense.

    4. Decius


      Get a passport under a new name. It doesn't even really have to be yours.

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Re: Time to get real....

      "That is what you get for your passed associations, pick your friends more carefully. ..."

      Having known people who were always stopped at border controls because they were black, I'm sure your clueless "eyes forward, patriot" idiotic response would have something to do with "choosing your skin colour more carefully". Except that you obviously cannot, nor can anyone have total knowledge of what their acquaintances may or may not have done in the *past*.

      Get a clue and stop advocating the systematic victimisation of innocent people and collective punishment, you ignorant moron!

    2. Anonymous Coward


      Lern tu yuse Inglish propa, idiot!

    3. Anonymous Coward

      @AC OP 11:44 GMT

      Anon because if I associate with your post, people will assume I am an ass too.

  23. Ralthor

    Run and run

    Heres to hoping this one will run and run and run... hopefully with much jubbly bouncing!

  24. Trollslayer

    George Orwell

    And, as per the previous poster - the Standford experiment.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't want to go thru customs ?

    That's a no-brainer: just buy a boat. You can go to almost any minor harbour without meeting customs.

    You can also buy a plane or better yet a helicopter and go wherever you want, minor airports do not have customs.

    Both solutions do have a minor drawback: if customs get interested in you they can order a full control of you, your boat/plane/helicopter and you will stay until they are finished.

    1. Ian Ferguson
      Thumb Down


      I'll just go and buy a private jet to help exercise my basic human rights... oh.

      No-brainer for the mega-rich, maybe.

    2. Yet Another Commentard

      Using an alternative airstrip

      In Bermuda there is a small issue with that plan.

      It's about 21 square miles, and over 600 miles from anywhere else. Easy to protect.

      The Police there routinely pick up smuggled items by sea, even if the smuggler uses a fishing boat to pop out and meet the big boat from the Drugs Baron. There is one airport, and it takes up a surprising amount of the land.

      As for a helicopter, as I recall there are none there, so it would be a bit of a spectacle to land by one. Do they have the required range?

      Bermuda makes most of its tax income on import taxes. As a result Customs are pretty hot on things. I used to live there, and true to form was stopped every time. You have to produce a little yellow receipt for every item in your case (or if its new a duty paid slip) or it is assumed you are smuggling it, and avoiding tax.

      Also, it's strapline used to be "feel the love" which is exactly what you never get at LF Wade airport. Queues, yes. A walk across the tarmac, yes. Sometimes a bloke singing calypso tunes, yes. No cabs, yes. I could go on...

      1. david wilson


        >>"Also, it's strapline used to be "feel the love" which is exactly what you never get at LF Wade airport. "

        Maybe they should change it to "love the feel"?

    3. kissingthecarpet

      Knew someone who took advantage of that

      He only got caught because he was so flakey he left a car parked with a bootful of puff for too long at a small French airport (until someone reported it)

  26. Martin 66
    Thumb Up

    12 months suspended

    She should have had a prize not a fine. Nothing like this happens in Cardiff airport. And as for kids seeing ? All I tried to do as a young boy was look at naked women, brilliant.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wait, wait. What did the magistrates say?

    "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs."

    That's an invitation to try and bypass customs on every occasion possible, any way I look at it. That or it's a very cynical take on freedom. Time to don some rosy glasses and begin a new career as smuggler.

    And yes, there's the point about her having been branded apparently forever by some "past association". Terrocriminals colour-coded for your convenience, as INTERPOL wants, already here to stay courtesy the lists-of-badness approach to "security". Aren't we all safe now, eh.

  28. Shaha Alam

    or just maybe...

    some bored and underpaid civil servant somewhere mistakenly selected the wrong entry from a drop down list pre populated with categorisation terms defined by some highly paid consultant based on the information from some obscure and poorly researched study peddled by some two-bit politician resulting in this woman's 'associate' being labelled as an 'individual of interest' to the State. Or maybe such a mistaken entry was made on her own records and the systems devised to enforce the law don't have adequate provisions for citizens to indicate such mistakes on their permanent records and have them corrected without an overly obfuscated administrative process.

    either way, citizen X is now treated differently (or perhaps you prefer the term harassed?) for the rest of their life through either no fault of their own.

    it happens. the systems are there to catch the bad guys but there's not nearly enough done to prevent the not-bad guys from being caught up in it.

  29. Solomon Grundy


    There were children present! Dear God think of the children. They may never see boobs or a vagoo again!

  30. Stevie Silver badge


    I quite agree. I haven't flown anywhere since these stupid and pointless searches were instigated - and flying is considered the only way to travel any distance here in the land of the free (upgrade with 25000 air miles).

    If enough people put their money where their mouth is perhaps the Airlines, in a bid to become not bankrupt (again), will get things changed.

    As we all know, the actual holes in any airport's security are behind the scenes, despite assurances of "background checks" on all concerned. Would anyone reading this put anything valuable in checked luggage voluntarily?

    Bread and circuses.

    1. JoeTheAnnoying
      Thumb Down

      Land of the Freeways

      If you're patient, the "Land of the Free" is also the "Land of the Freeways". Since the searches, scanners, and no liquids restrictions were instigated, flying has become so painful that we've started driving the 1000 miles to visit my brothers every other year.

      Pain in the rear? Yes!

      But with the ridiculously cheap gas in the U.S. (that's 'petrol' to you furriners), even with a night in a hotel we just about break even monetarily with driving vs. flying, and we don't have to deal with the TSA, the airports, the lines, the security guards threatening our kids for having the audacity to be kids at an airport, etc.

      But the notion that I'd rather drive 2000 miles round trip with kids in the car than fly says something about how painful flying has become.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Black Helicopters

      Ironic, isn't it?

      Due to security concerns, they increase security personel, but it is (and likely always was) the security personel - with their back-corridor access - that represent the biggest potential hole in the security.

  31. Heironymous Coward

    Next time...

    she should just have asked to be searched where she was standing, rather than going to some other room. Surely that is within her rights. Wait to strip off until they ask, and it then becomes the problem of the searchers to make sure that she is not seen by small children. After all, small children are deeply affected by nakedness...

    Or else, wear a tiny bikini under her clothes on the plane, she could immediately strip down to that in public without a problem. She could even strip down to it before entering customs...

  32. DanceMan


    A few years ago I was commuting year round on a motorcycle, to a job that generally finishes from 11pm to 2am in the downtown area. This led to frequently going through police drinking/driving roadblocks on the way home. Due to being on a motorcycle I was pulled over every time to produce my license, from under three layers of clothing, so they could check for a motorcycle endorsement. It quickly begins to feel like harassment, and it soon produces frustration.

    It gets better. Around the same time my car and two others were rear-ended by a drunk while waiting at a light. Cops would not attend -- no one injured. The drunk simply moved over to the passenger seat, and when no cops came, walked away from the car, which was a rental.

    It can get difficult at times to keep you mouth shut, or your clothes on, when dealing with mindless authority.

  33. James Woods


    Same thing here in the states.

    What forth amendment?

    What constitution?

    You don't want searched don't fly. That's the response.

  34. Shane 4


    I absolutely love this freakin' forum, Very intelligent jokes here.

    Hat is off to you lot here. ;)

  35. Nick Pettefar


    Scratch Bermuda from my list of possible destinations.

  36. 437T

    In other news...

    There were lots of false alarms reported for men carrying batons...

  37. Chris Evans

    Missed the point!

    I read "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs" as a rather subtle way of saying, don't come back to our country!

  38. rototype
    Paris Hilton

    Anybody notice..

    the bit in the article where it says she was only going back to close her bank accounts, seems like she's had enough of US control and is leaving for good. Don't blame her, I'd do the same, it's probably only draconian rules saying he has to be there to close it. Most times you can sent a letter in to close an account - but the US always has been a bit backwards on its banking.

    Personally I no longer have anything to do with them (despite being 50% US by birth) - they're all tits at the moment so if the while world decides this (probably not too far away) they can all rot in their own mess. (they'd probably not even notice, which is the depressing part).


    paris for obvious reasons

    1. david wilson


      >>"Anybody notice the bit in the article where it say she was only going back to close her bank accounts, seems like she's had enough of US control and is leaving for good. "

      Did /you/ notice the bit where it pointed out that the whole story is about Bermuda, and nothing to do with the USA?

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