Gerard Depardieu takes piss on plane, gets tossed off

Gerard Depardieu was kicked off a flight to Dublin, after the French actor responded to the call of nature by peeing into a bottle and reportedly overspilling an unsteady flow of piss into the aisle. The star of Green Card asked to use the CityJet's loo prior to take-off from Charles de Gaulle Airport, but he had been told to …

[Anonymous Coward]

The best part of this is Cityjet's public response

These from their Twitter feed:

@cityjet: As you may have seen on the news, we are busy mopping the floor of one of our planes this morning…

@cityjet: We'd also like to remind all passengers that our planes are fully equipped with toilet facilities…

[Paul RND*1000]

Toilet facilities

Which you can't use if we tell you to stay in your seat.

[Anomalous Cowherd]

Takes piss on plane, gets tossed off.

Sounds like a german film I saw once. Scarred me for life it did.

[Field Marshal Von Krakenfart]

What!!!! Another one tossed off

I thought that it was Neil Prendeville who........ Oh, sorry, I see what you're saying now.

Paris, who would have been useful on the flight with Neil Prendeville.

[Dances With Sheep]

Coo

Quality in flight entertainment !

[Nigel Brown]

An arrogant Frenchie?

Whooda Thunkett?

[Anonymous Coward]

I recommend

those two pint milk containers - good size, easy to hold, contents visible and doesn't resemble the original beverage. I definitely recommend against any beverage container that isn't transparent or whose original contents resembles the new one. DAMHIKT

[Inventor of the Marmite Laser]

You can take your title and shove it. Sideways

"I definitely recommend against any beverage container that isn't transparent or whose original contents resembles the new one. DAMHIKT"

That's why Lager is the colour it is. Looks (and tastes) the same before and after.

[Anonymous Coward]

Next time

Just piss yourself whilst sat in your seat, no rules broken.

[Inventor of the Marmite Laser]

"Urinating" is an incorrect tag

In these times of enforced commonality with our continental chums, the word you should have used is "Euronating"

[Anonymous Coward]

Euronat is a well known and respectable nudist camp

in France

[Inventor of the Marmite Laser]

Title

I asume you're taking the piss then, sirrah.

[Cameron Colley]

I don't blame him.

You have to drink your water before you go through security, because you're not allowed to take that much through. Then you seem to have to spend hours getting onto the plane, then sitting there waiting to take off. The least they can do is allow you to take a leak before they set off.

[James Micallef]

Actually...

...it's allowed to use the loos during and exactly after boarding as long as the plane doors are still open, so if it was THAT urgent, he still had an opportunity

[Sir Barry]

Mon dieu

Gérard ne comme les douches d'or?

[Tom Maddox]

Ahem

I think you want, "Gérard n'aime pas de douches d'or?"

[Zog The Undeniable]

Wide-mouthed Sunny D bottles FTW

As known by all (male, solo) campers. Obviously you have to pour away the foul-tasting yellow liquid BEFORE you use the bottle for peeing into.

[Jon Double Nice]

Snakes on a plane?

Yes, I'm off...

[skeptical i]

Ya' beat me to it: Trouser Snakes on a Plane, the adult sequel

*snrk*

[Kevin 43]

Am I too late for...

The French adore - le piss a floor!

[Graham Bartlett]

@Sir Barry

I can only assume you used Babelfish or something similar, because that's the wrong translation of "like". You've just written "Gerard not similar to golden showers"...

[Sir Barry]

@ Graham

Yup, Google Translate..

It was supposed to be "Gerard likes golden showers", but both work for mw ;-)

[Field Marshal Von Krakenfart]

good jobbie then

zat G'erard didnt get confuzed by flyinf on ze shityjet

Is this the first time this icon has been used in this context?

[Steve Button]

Not lucozade. Oasis bottles are better.

Believe me, I have to do this one while stuck on the M25.

Luzozade bottle just doesn't have the girth.

[Field Marshal Von Krakenfart]

Cough! Cough!

I find a Hellmanns 800g mayonnaise jar works best for me.....

[Michael Dunn]

Ahem

Kindred spirit, Field Marshal!

[Anonymous Coward]

A good reason not to allow drunks onboard

Things are getting pretty bad when they allow drunks onboard aircraft.

[Anonymous Coward]

RTFA

He did not booze.

[FanMan]

They should have chicked the hostess off the plane, not Asterix.

When you gotta go... you gotta go.

They should have let him use the bog and not been so inflexible.

60+ men like Gerard et moi-meme are at the mercy of all sorts of urinogenital torments and allowances should be made.

[Anonymous Coward]

Tuff

Should have gone before he got on the plane. They purposely don't allow you to use the toilets until airborne because of the vacuum flush.

[James Micallef]

Not true

I've been allowed to use the lavatory during boarding on every single flight I've ever tried to do so. I don't know about flushing technicalities, but they work on the ground.

[Cameron Colley]

I, too, have used them on the ground more than once (I asked permission the first time).

The problem arises when you can't get to use the loo before the doors close and you're on the taxiway -- you're then not allowed to leave your seat until the plane is at around its cruising altitude. This can be anything from 5 to 10 minutes in a small airport to an hour or more when there are scheduling problems.

The loos flush thanks to an on-board vacuum system which is completely sealed and doesn't rely in any way on the plane being in flight.

[Anonymous Coward]

Could have been worse ...

... if he wasn't famous and couldn't speek sufficient english

http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1993-10-21/news/9310210052_1_german-speaking-flight-flight-attendant-grzeganek

[NoneSuch]

Well...

...the vintage is a bit immature and the production is rather limited for volume, but the color reminds me of a spring day. Being French, how could it not be good with anything.

...and the aroma. My God, the aroma.

[PETER FREDERIKS]

BB (Big Bucks)

Companies get charged for the time their planes spend at the terminal. Then getting out and coming back, staying for the cleanup, Other passengers changing planes...... This should all have a $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ bill. Have him pay for it all. Probably the most expensive p.ss ever.

[Clive Harris]

He has my sympathy

I was caught in a similar situation at Heathrow a couple of years ago. I'd had too many cups of coffee while waiting to board and then, after boarding, the aeroplane got stuck in a very long queue waiting to take off (nearly 45 minutes).

Fortunately, my seat was next to the toilets. I unfastened my seatbelt, dashed to the cubicle and locked the door before the stewardess could react. Within a minute I was back in my seat, buckled in and feeling relieved but rather embarrassed (everyone was watching me). The aeroplane had moved forward about 10 feet in the meantime.

The stewardess gave me a dirty look but decided not to make a fuss. That was Qantas. Perhaps they expect that sort of thing from Australians.

[Winkypop]

Please return to your seat and...

...ensure your penis is in the fully retracted position....

[Qu Dawei]

But...

My family were on a plane (Air China) flying from Beijing to Zhangjiajie and my son had a slight stomach upset that meant he needed to go very urgently. Although the plane was landing, they allowed him into the toilet (unlocking it for him), and he stayed there from before the final approach until after it had landed. There were no problems (apart from his stomach ones) as far as I could tell.

Mind you, in China (if anyone has been there, rather than believed what media writes about the place) many rules or laws are treated by Chinese people as being somehow "optional" from time to time.

[Anonymous Coward]

well at least

Well it could have been worse. At least he wasn't tossing off and got pissed off.

[Anonymous Coward]

Good grief....

Must the French be so behind the times?

Snakes on a Plane is like... soOOooOOoo 2006 :)

[mhenriday]

Now, at along last, I understand

why Hercule-Savinien de Cyrano de Bergerac choose to remain in the bushes while Christian wooed Roxanne ! One additional mystery revealed by modern technology - and bureacratically induced lack of access to certain facilities....

I'll drink to that - but only in the immediate vicinity of an unlocked toilet !...

Henri

[JMcL]

Big man, small plane, long bus ride

For anybody who's never used the Cityjet CdG-Dublin service, the planes more often than not get parked out on the outer apron of the airport (feels like somewhere near Calais sometimes) necessitating a lengthy bus ride to get to them.

Gerard is a big man, in his 60s, and CityJet planes are tiny, so in fairness to him, trying to get to the loo past people trying to shove stuff into the miniscule overhead bins wouldn't be the easiest operation in the world (tip to anybody ever using this service, don't go along with a standard carry-on size luggage and put anything whatsoever valuable in it - it'll end up in the hold and they nobody tells you this til you're at the steps).

[Dries Marais]

Pissed Off

Display of bloody bad manners, that's all.

[TimChuma]

Depends on the travelling companion

That's why you should have Bear Grylls sitting next to you on the flight, he would be happy to take any excess urine off your hands.