Chic USB drive leads double life as personal vibrator

A San Francisco design firm has produced one of the most provocative human-machine interfaces we've seen in some time: a USB drive that doubles as a personal vibrator. "In a world where high technology and luxury design seem to touch every corner of our lives, the most intimate experiences should be no exception," Crave …

[Anonymous Coward]

Sell to men

You could sell a whole lot more if you made them available with an optional docking unit?

[Anonymous Coward]

for men

... add bluetooth.

Men love bluetooth!

[Anonymous Coward]

It's actually a genius bit of design when you think about it

You can use it to transfer your porn with and then have something to use while you're watching it.

[Anonymous Coward]

blue jacking

and have the ability to page it via bluetooth to vibrate. It would take blue-jacking to a whole new level on the train :)

[N13L5]

the vibration patterns need to be fully programmable at that price...

7 fold cube sugar suspended drive shaft?

not sure what you'd be paying $127 for :P

[Anonymous Coward]

Marriage made in Cali

Linking two recent stories together:

Apple releases Mac OS XXX on USB

Mac Lion sleeps alone and likes it!

[Herby]

Price...

And I thought the apple flash drive was expensive at $69.00 (or so it was said in the article).

So, vibrators are a bit more expensive that Max OS Lion.

[TheKeffster]

Re: Price...

> So, vibrators are a bit more expensive that Max OS Lion.

Yes but a vibrator is actually, y'know, useful...

[dssf]

Dual-ended... Or duel end deed?

And, then talk about digital plug and play.

I wonder whether CRC (sick lickal red un dancy) is endcluded in the endterface or in the firm wear...

[Anonymous Coward]

100 feet

"product is waterproof – even submergeable down to 100 feet."

Presumably you'd need a toughbook or similar for that type of usage?

[Anonymous Coward]

toughbook

Think it is the other "use case" that requires waterproofing so perhaps a tough minge is actually what's required?

[Anonymous Coward]

There should be an app for that.

An iphone app should be able to do the same thing.

[Anonymous Coward]

On top of the phone being in continuous vibration mode

Just add a slide show of extreme closeup porn and assorted associated sounds. Something a USB stick can't do.

[Ru]

There's a grand tradition of such things

An acquantaince of mine made a 'happy kitty' java app for a nokia many, many years ago. The happier the cat was, the more it 'purred', thanks to the new pager motor API. Made quite a few sales of that one.

I do recall there have been some entertaining issues regarding the duty cycle on the motor drives and pager motors in some android devices. Sustained high power use can result in overheating and permanent damage. To the phone, one presumes.

[ThatGuy]

"Personal" vibrator?

do they sell a "public" or "shared" one too?

[LuMan]

Thumb drive...

.....or thumb-up-bum drive.

[Anonymous Coward]

I can see the point of ...

... USB recharging but I think adding storage is a bit of gimmick.

Hope they don't get carried away and expand the range with a buttplug

BTW "[No pun intended. – Ed]" yeah, right ;-)

[Anonymous Coward]

@enigmatix

"Hope they don't get carried away and expand the range with a buttplug"

That's for backwards compatibility. There's not much call for a 3.5 inch floppy these days.

[Wind Farmer]

Duet?

Surely, the storageless model is the solo (handy for going solo)?

As for the possibilities of storing your resignation letter on it and telling your boss to stick it up their arse, that seems interesting......

[Keith Edwards]

Entry level....

You just couldn't help yourselves, could you!

[Francis Boyle]

Totally off topic

but I once attended a talk where the presenter discussed with a straight face "entry and exit training for porn performers". Luckily I was at the back because I certainly couldn't keep a straight face.

[Marvin the Martian]

Why the advert?

Why the advertorial hyperlink to Trek and Goody? I hope its paid for, to provide a salary for more investigative and/or thoughtful articles than this press release paraphrasing.

[Anonymous Coward]

pecentage

Will there be a REGHARDWARE test for this? we need to know if it hits the spot before we ask for it on our chrismas lists

[Simon Mort-Adams]

Mr, Mrs, Ms* *Delete as applicable

"Slip them $125, and you'll get an 'entry-level' 8GB Duet" - Fwaff, parp, hmmf, queff etc...

[annodomini2]

Title we don't need no stinking title

Come into office....

"What stinks in here?!"

[Anonymous Coward]

One-piece solution?

Very convenient - a vibe that you can also store your porn on...

[Anonymous Coward]

Co

"Very convenient - a vibe that you can also store your porn on..."

Not really: you cannot both view your porn and use the device at the same time - unless you want to awkwardly hold your laptop....

Or it comes [sic] with a 3ft extension cable.

[Anonymous Coward]

well I'm thinking

a whole new genre of interactive pron software which has some kind of kinect-like feedback on how you are reacting to it, and tailors the images and the vibe to suit.

You could even get it to store which level you got to.

And in all fairness, there needs to be a male version, this can't just be for the womens.

[Anonymous Coward]

Wireless Rooter.

"...our product is waterproof – even submergeable down to 100 feet."

So, good for muff diving too.

[DrXym]

What's going on?

My USB key smells a bit funny.

[Magnus_Pym]

I'mjust trying to work out...

.. how you view you collection of 'art prints' from the usb drive and indulge in a bit of self-love at the same time. Might be easier with a smart phone than from a server rack

[Mondo the Magnificent]

Buzzword

Freaky, I mean now having seen the product (courtesy of El Reg) and some woman [or man] was to pass me over one of those USB come sex toy efforts, I'd absolutely refuse to handle it on the grounds that I "do know where its been"

All I can say is that it would be most entertaining if the vibrator function kicked in when interfaced while presenting in a boardroom meeting. It would lead to every exec in the meeting scrambling for their muted Blackberrys (other business savvy smartphones are avaialble)

Strangely enough, from this day onwards I will certainly pay attention to every oversized and shiny USB Storage Device I ever see...

[LaeMing]

Anti-theft

While it wouldn't stop a determined theif, a casual desk-walk-by might think twice.

Then again, while the theives are deterred from touching the thing, the perverts are attracted to do so.

[Anonymous Coward]

Next year 32Gb?

you know, the bigger the better and all that ...

I hope people know they can remove it from the USB socket before using otherwise that'd be ... unhygienic in the least.

[amanfromearth]

Slow day.. you guys missed the best jokes

Does it come with anti-virus installed?

I bet they don't call the next version "The Pro"

Will the next version include a video camera?

[Anonymous Coward]

I want

bluetooth and an API for that.

[Proud Father]

Hmmmm..

No disrespect to the current incumbent mod but...

Would love to see Miss Bee's moderation on this. Oh the possibilities!

[Nights_are_Long]

Ah..

...Teladildonics

[stu 4]

ah - you have one of those vibrators I see

that's the basic problem here I reckon - if they got permission to make em look like a kingston flash drive or summit they will sell, but as it is, IF they do get popular it's a pretty big statement to have a vibrator sticking out the side of yer laptop at meetings....

[G C M Roberts]

Oh

Does it include some wet wipes for your USB ports...

I hope my company includes this on the USB lockdown policy...

When the memory stick loses all your data, I guess it's fucked you over twice...

Mine's the coat with the phone set to vibrate in the pocket

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohh?

uh-hoh!

[StuntMonkey]

VD

I bought one of these and caught a virus... :-P

[b166er]

Surely

It's a vibrastor

[Simon Harris]

I was thinking more...

it's a USB DONGle

[Lloyd]

Um

Where do you plug it in?

[LaeMing]

Wouldn't you like to know!

:-P

[Anonymous Coward]

Aren't you glad...

...that flash storage can withstand up to 1000G acceleration....

- Now, should this drive remain plugged prior to use until it reaches 38 ºC?

- And how much pressure can it withstand?

- Is the USB port cover removable? Or can one *misplace* it by accident?

I urge the intended target audience to test it and report back...

[Anonymous Coward]

It's useless for data storage

It's wiped clean after every use.

[kain preacher]

Walks in

Hey guys whats going on? WTF? Slowly walks out of the rum and then runs.

[Anonymous Coward]

18" plastic fist

we have a winner - most excellent

[Tom_]

100 feet?

That's an unusually high up shower.

[Richard 39]

Unusually high shower...

Or a very deep... (no I won't go there)

Thumbs up, do you have to ask why?

[Gavin 2]

Review

Are RegHardware going to review this?

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd like to hear...

... Ms. Bee's take on the matter.

Unfortunately, she's departed the lofty circles of El' Reg's editorial staff...

(Coat, 'cause her coat-peg next to the door's empty.)

[S2S]

sex drive

sex drive

[Paul Hovnanian]

Better yet ...

... a BlueTooth storage device for your pr0n. No need to 'unplug' it just to plug it into your laptop USB port.

BlueTooth control makes for some interesting applications (remote control toys have already been developed for this). But the ability to join the vibrator to one (or more) mobile devices running remote control apps (possibly anonymously) could make for some interesting party games.

[Grubby]

I remember

I remember saving things on my floppy...

[zen1]

I think my head is about ready to explode..

The punchlines....

While I certainly admire the designer's inginuity, I'm already wondering about when they start showing up in the office? Will data files be backed up more regularly or will there be a drop in productivity, by 50% of the workforce?

As a part time desktop tech who has to help folks out with regular usb drives, I'm wondering about how I should react when a customer rings, complaining about something that has gone awry with their product (the storage component).

If I buy a couple of cases of these things for executives (as gifts to the ladies), do you think the mood might lighten up a little bit?

I'm also wondering that if I jam a thumb drive into an unused oriface of a blow up doll, if I can claim her as a legitimate business expense, as storage? Or would that fall under entertainment?

And as a sidebar about the possibility of a buttplug offering... I do believe that would be best marketed to the Apple crowd, for rather obvious reasons.

I don't understand anymore...

[foo_bar_baz]

Personal vibrator

Don't tell me about other kinds

[Arctic fox]

By supporting Crave and its pioneering flash-drive-cum-vibrator [No pun intended. – Ed]

Wafting towards us on the breeze of a summer evening we here the strains of the park band playing "Believe it if you like".

[dannyk96]

A competitor to those wristband usb drives?

Some folk have one of those brightly coloured wristband USB drives so they always have some storage with them.

Could this be an alternative for lady geeks?

Also reminds me of a previous ElReg article:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/04/19/mobile_phone_thief/

[Anonymous Coward]

Is that a USB Memory Device

in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?