Checking Comms
To be honest, I too occasionally look at my wifes messages, and she does the same with mine, but there is no secret going on there.
Also my daughters communications are 100% checked.
Every email she sends or receives is automatically CCed to my wifes and my email address.
But she knows about it.
Granted, my daughter is only nine, but I will keep it this way for at least another 5 or 6 years.
I do agree a teenager needs to have a little bit of privacy, but with the amount of junk flying around these days from xxx to penile enlargemetn offiers, And dubious propositions, I will drop this when my wife and I deem her mature enough to make a reasonably sensible decision.
It is my duty as a parent, to protect my children from harm.
As parents we are aware, that cant just keep them locked up, but at least when something comes in, that seems unsuitable, I can at least talk to her and find out whats going on.
And as long as she is aware, I don't see this as an invasion privacy.
A lot of our children are messed up, because parents don't care, don't have time, have something "more important" to do etc.
For crying outloud, they are our children and we have to care for them.
I don't agree with doing this in secrecy, but in an open and honest fashion, so that they understand that it is for their protection.
And once they get to the point of reasonable responsibility, we can start letting go bit by bit.
Of course they have to learn that the world is not just milk and honey, but lets not let them drop into the snakepit.