back to article BOFH vs PFY: There can be only one (on the exes chit)

So the Boss has a bit of funding that he doesn't know what to do with. Okay, the Boss always has funding he doesn't know/understand what to do with, but this time it's different. The company has decided to allocate out "Professional Development" funds to key areas of the business to permit a staff member to receive advanced …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. The March Hare
    Thumb Up

    Age & Cunning

    will always triumph over youth & exuberance!

  2. andythompson
    Thumb Up

    Best for a few weeks

    Certainly one of the better of late

  3. rototype


    True BOFH again...

  4. greenmantle
    Thumb Up


    classic... A BOFH with everything.

    Give the boy a biscuit (preferaly without laxative though!)


  5. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Just like...

    ...old times, brilliant Simon, well done :-)

  6. Number6

    A smarter boss...

    ... would work out that if he can divide, he can conquer, because the BOFH and PFY would be too busy fighting each other to organise an accident for him. When the BOFH comes back from his fun and games, he could announce the availability of the next bit of junket budget.

    Of course, he might still get caught in the crossfire.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      @Number 6

      "A smarter boss"?

      You're new to these parts I take it?

      The hiring of such would only occur over Simon's dead body. Well maybe not Simon's, but there would be dead bodies involved and the prospective new hire would certainly be one of them I can assure you.

      1. Number6

        There was one...

        They did have one a while back who was clued up and acted as part of the team. I think he got a new job elsewhere though, one of the few who escaped safely.

        Of course, the really smart one would be able to disguise his intelligence until after he got the job. Think hunting elephants with a spear - it can be done but it's dangerous and the squish potential is quite high. This appeals to a particular mindset.

    2. Andrew Moore

      A smarter boss?

      I don't think such a thing exists.

  7. Craig 28

    Major let down

    That was far too easy. It was all over in about five minutes, not enough time for the usual scheming and plotting. It's very rare for me to say this, and I'm normally not the type to grumble, but this is probably the first BoFH that didn't even make me smile and I've read every one I can get my hands on both on el reg and elsewhere.

    I know its free and everything, I'm just disappointed that a much loved series of stories isn't being done justice. I'd rather Simon call it a day than keep going if his heart isn't really in it anymore, that isn't fair to the readers and it certainly isn't fair to him.

    Oh and before anyone says "If you don't like it don't read it", I didn't know I was going to dislike this story until I read it and if the next couple are similarly disappointing I probably won't bother reading the new episodes in the future. Simon has still come out with some gems on occasion of late, I won't deny that, I'm hoping this is just a dry streak.

    1. NukEvil
      Thumb Down

      Sounds familiar...

      "Oh and before anyone says "If you don't like it don't read it", I didn't know I was going to dislike this story until I read it..."

      So kind of like a Microsoft EULA, then?

      Thumbs down because I kinda feel the same way about this episode.

    2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      "One Man's Meat is Another's Poison"

      If you didn't like it, I'm sure Simon could ask the PFY to pop round and 'encourage' your enjoyment of the next episode with the use of a 'modified bovine encouragement device'.

  8. Isendel Steel

    A BOFH is a BOFH

    got a smile at the end as the PFY gets what he deserves for trying it on (as the BOFH knew what was coming - probably down to RFID tagging and monitoring HIS chair - probably slowed the lift as well - you wouldn't want to be on the same floor as the boss).

  9. Rosuav

    Out-BOFH the BOFH?

    Unlikely. Nope, the PFY should learn to take his place. In life and in line. And blackmail the boss into arranging that second junket, the instant Simon's back is turned...

    1. A. Coatsworth Silver badge

      Re: Out-BOFH

      The BOFH was outBOFH'd by an outsider a couple of years ago... that episode and the subsequent, swift revenge are probably my favorite articles ever.

      Of course, the PFY still has too much to learn before he can attempt something so bold, although it's unlikely that he lives until the time he gets enough experience

  10. The Jay
    Thumb Down

    @ Craig 28

    To be honest, I'm slightly behind you on this one...

    It's not the best Simon could offer up really is it?

  11. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    In Defence of the Realm, One does as One Needs to Succeed.

    That was a nice touch on this week's BOFH web page .... the carrying of a situations vacant advertisement for an "IT Security Exploitation Officer" in MI5. Presumably that is .milspeak for a crack hacker and super duper spooky person, both of which are as rare as hens' teeth and an even rarer find whenever seamlessly combined in the one excellent agent.

    "...has about the same enthusiasm attached to it as the 13th pint at the end of a long night; " ...... :-) That had me chuckling and recalling the experience which the wisdom of hindsight ensures is an exercise unlikely to be repeated, and certainly not with the same enthusiasm as delivered it in a misguided youth, in one's more advanced years. An experience which it appears Simon has sampled, given the oh so accurate description of its pathetic charm. :-)

    I wonder if The Jay and Craig 28 are PFY types?

    "Yeah. About how the US dumps nuclear waste into Tank-Buster shells to expend on countries that don't let them steal all their assets. So they can steal all their assets. Anyway now that avenue is running out they're using the waste to make super-hard components for various appliances – your monitor included. We tried the monitors for a while but it didn't work out." .... Ouch, that's a mighty cruel low blow, but impossible to avoid whenever thoroughly deserved. Do you think that is what really upset the PFY types?

  12. Graham Jordan

    Jason Bourne would be proud.

    Loved it. Wasn't so keen on last one but this had me giggling like a school girl, oddly enough next to school girl on work experience. fun times.

    Obviously the boss isn't a fan of Matt Damon else he'd have spotted the line straight away.

  13. James Gosling


    Not up to usual BOFH standards, lacking the usual depth of cunning.

  14. Andrew Moore

    Reminds me of the old adage-

    'I thought you everything you know. However I didn't teach you everything I know.'

  15. Ryan 7

    Loving the Bourne reference


    "If I wanted to just irradiate the boss, I could have sent Nikki to do that!"

  16. Rick Brasche
    Thumb Up

    short sweet and brutal

    I was thinking of adding my voice to the "too short" criticisms..then I remember those old Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom shows...and how in Nature combat for survival is often quick and brutal, with lightning-fast feints and counterfeints, where the victor is decided (and reaps the rewards) in mere moments.

    or perhaps I'm just remembering Jackie Chan's older, Chinese-produced Kung Fu films..but I digress...

    Ultimately, this episode was an unflinching, uncensored view into the savageness of Office Survival. The Quick and the Dead.

    Perhaps a warning to the kiddies that it might be too scary would have been in order? :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      ahh, I remember Jim.

      He was always the one to enter the lair.

      Reminds me of an episode of "Mike's Madness"

  17. Burkhard Kloss

    Pedant - moi?

    Unless the PFY is in a branch office, shouldn't you worry about intra-office, not inter-office rivalry?

    Explaining the highlander nature is surely superfluous given the audience?

    And, more importantly, wouldn't a laxative have a more..err...explosive effect than a diuretic?

  18. Intractable Potsherd

    "kilotoken of radbars per cubit" ...

    ... Just brilliant! What's that in elephants per Hiroshima?

  19. elderlybloke

    Hold on Mate

    There is something in Ying or Yang or Zen about the sound of one hand clapping.

  20. Cosmin Roman

    not really a comment ...

    I just like penguins ...

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like