back to article Parmo v poutine: The ultimate post-pub nosh deathmatch

It's Friday, and since we have no doubt you lot will be rolling out of your local hostelry later having partaken of a few liveners, you might want to consider just what mouthwatering treat will best cap off your night on the town. Well, we at the El Reg Special Projects Bureau have a couple of suggestions from the wonderful …

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  1. Jonathan D
    Thumb Up

    Poutine

    Was introduced to poutine on a trip to NS with my Canadian better half a couple of years ago and have heard nothing but complaints about not being able to "do it right" without cheese curds over here, will have to have a bash at it over the weekend using your guide!

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Poutine

      Good stuff. The cheese curds were a breeze, so there's no reason that top-quality poutine won't be coming soon to a plate near you.

      1. Gerhard Mack

        The Poutine was made wrong

        As someone who has spent 7 years in Montreal, I can tell you that the cheese goes on first and then the gravy.

        As someone currently living in Madrid I can tell you that the Spanish are some of the most unadventurous people I've ever met when it comes to food.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: The Poutine was made wrong

          "Some of the most unadventurous people"? They have their list of approved recipes, and if it ain't on the list, it's the Devil's work.

        2. TheCpat
          Alien

          RE: The Poutine was made wrong

          gravy? Sacre Bleu! It's a peppery chicken Velouté sauce

          http://www.montrealpoutine.com/recipes.html

          And to top it off one should really take in the whole effect with a pint of Labatt's Cincuante to wash it down..

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Some of the most unadventurous people

          My mother-in-law takes unadventurous a step further, she won't even eat anything I've cooked and this is a woman who will suck the brains out of a chicken's head. I'm a pretty reasonable cook but the first thing she'll ask at dinner is who's cooked the meal.

          I also have a friend who when we go out for a meal we have to decide before he arrives where to go otherwise he'll get in first with McDonalds which is as adventurous as he gets.

          Apparently it's not only food, I read earlier that a third of Spaniards haven't even been outside their own province.

      2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Lester,

        Thank you for your excellent exertions in the field of vital consumer research.

        I do however have some reservations about the health of your poor experimental subjects... I can't get this image out of my head:

        http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/220166.stm

        Are you John Selwyn Gummer in disguise? And if so, I claim my £5.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Lester,

          Excellent ;-)

          1. Gerhard Mack

            @lester

            Agreed, there is a reason none of my favorite restaurants in Spain are owned by Spaniards.

            1. Marvin the Martian
              Unhappy

              Poor traumatized spanish.

              If we keep trying to tell the spanish there's food from outside the pueblo that's good, and then some clowns come with curds drowned in gravy and cheap pork fried with random other things --- well, thanks for undoing all the efforts. This just convinces another generation not to try.

    2. Bassey

      Slight error

      The gravy goes on last. It is Chips, cheese and gravy. Not chips, gravy and cheese.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The last things I need to be near when drunk

    are a meat mallet and a deep fat fryer. And I'm not convinced my bechamel would survive the experience.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Devil

      Go to the USA, they will show you what you can do without a frier

      I have some unforgettable recollections from a few years in a US college and something called "Chease Steak". It was meat sheets 3mm thin which were grilled on a flat grill with LOTS of fat and a thick slice of cheddar topped on it. Add two buns of bread fried on the same grill and voila you have your ultimate death-by-cholesterol post-drinking bout fix...

      Most deep-fat fried stuff is on an order of magnitude less fatty than anything like that.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Thumb Up

        AC@23:46

        "It was meat sheets 3mm thin which were grilled on a flat grill with LOTS of fat and a thick slice of cheddar topped on it. Add two buns of bread fried on the same grill and voila you have your ultimate death-by-cholesterol post-drinking bout fix..."

        Yes. That's what I was thinking of.

  3. Aaron Em

    Easy win for parmo, and I've never even tried it

    Brown gravy and cheese curds were never meant to go together, least of all atop fries (or 'chips' if you like) and the result is every bit as disgusting as one might expect from such an infelicitous combination.

    On the other hand, it's very hard to go wrong with deep-fried meat and Bechamel sauce.

    1. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD
      Thumb Up

      ^ What he said...

      Ne'er a truer word spoken.

      Cheese... eeew.... The only place cheese belongs is..... hmmm.....

      (long think) .... on a pizza, or a toasted ham and cheese sandwich/croissant/whatever...

      As for pork... The only way I don't like pig done is raw.

      FFS, now you've made me hungry... Time to go find a pig....

  4. Code Monkey
    Thumb Down

    Poutine

    To any passport-carrying Lancastrian chips and gravy is the food of the gods (indeed gravy is the main thing I judge proper - i.e. Northern - chippies on). But why you'd want to shove cheese curds on it is beyond me.

    With a bit more squeezing that curd and you'd have had a nice paneer. Much better in curries than on your chips.

    1. Alan 6 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Chips Cheese and Gravy

      When I worked at a certain disreputable PC "manufacturer" in Burnley we used to go to a local pub on Fridays and partake of their speciality, which was chips, cheese & gravy. Assembled in that order.

      This, along with the Thwaites bitter used to wash it down, was one of the reasons not to buy a Time PC made on a Friday (or any other day to be honest...

    2. stuartnz

      Paneer poutine

      SO pleased I wasn't the only person who thought of paneer when seeing the cheese curds. You're right too, much better in a curry than with chips

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Pirate

      Re: Poutine

      God forbid that any Lancastrian should ever get a passport, best keep them where they are.

  5. Winkypop Silver badge
    Stop

    Crimes against humanity

    Stop it.

    Stop it right now!

    [barf]

  6. jake Silver badge

    Question.

    How much did Nike pay for the product placement? Hopefully enough to purchase a proper cook-top, if nothing else.

    That said, post-pub grub doesn't get any better than a bacon sarnie ...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The first one

    The first one is just a cheesy gravy chip.

    And the gravy is wrong. Don't use bisto, but the shops sell a chinese-takeaway-style gravy paste. That's the one to use.

    I think I'll stick to the post-pub kebab/pizza/chicken fried rice combo.

    1. Code Monkey

      Bisto

      It'll do as long as it's thick enough to stand your spoon in.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Facepalm

        Bisto reminds me...

        Many years ago my parents held a dinner party. One allegedly "expert" guest was volunteered to make the Irish coffees. Yes, you guessed it, he didn't see the Maxwell House (jar) when looking for Nescafé (tin) and produced the most wonderful-looking but (even in his state) undrinkable Irish coffees ... made with Bisto.

        Broke my dad's heart to pour all that whiskey and cream down the sink... Maybe if he'd had a poutine recipe he'd have been able to salvage something?

  8. Simon Smith 1
    FAIL

    Pffffftttt........!!!!!!!!!!

    Lightweight fare!

    To do the job properly you fry up some onions, bacon, salami and garlic. Mix with the properly larded chips then top with gravy and lashings of cheese. Now grill to melt the cheese.

    During the meanwhilst fry off the pork schnitzel, top with pizza sauce, ham, bacon and cheese. Slap in the grill alongside the chips.

    Once cheese has melted and both concoctions are buibbling nicely then decant to a plate, grab a pint of whatever, eat then call heart surgeon!

    Bliss!

    1. BenR
      Thumb Up

      Mmmm...

      Nice.

      Although my arteries just clogged *READING* your post...

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Pint

        Uhm

        I think arteries clog due to inflammation by certain sugars and veggie oils.

        Leave out the chips, then go wild on the full fat!

        But I'm not sure the beer will help.

    2. Mips
      Childcatcher

      Definitly lightweight..

      I thought the standard UK late-nite was a deep fried battered Mars bar. Of course you could add some Camembert to that if you like.

      1. NogginTheNog

        Only north of Hadrian's Wall

        (Scotland to you non-natives).

  9. Busby
    Thumb Up

    Pork what the hell is wrong with you?

    Anyone (in the north East anyway) will tell you they are made with chicken breast hammered out. Even the local Asda does them know ready to go in the oven.

    For the truly drunken feast you can't beat my locals Parmo butty.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Angel

      RE: Pork Parmo

      The original Boro parmos were indeed pork. However during the gradual takeover of local takeaways by Muslim businessmen the pork soon got replaced with (the nicer IMO) chicken.

      Can't beat a "full" hot shot parmo with pepperoni and jalepenios.

      And salad, of course

      1. paulc
        Stop

        Chicken?

        wouldn't surprise me if the chicken were Halal as well...

        Insist on Pork... it cannot by definition ever be Halal...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Childcatcher

    Wont somebody think of the children?!?!

    This is clearly some form of abuse!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Drink, schmoke, and a kroket...

    If you'd like to continue the search for the ultimate post-pub nosh may I suggest that you try a Dutch 'Kroket'. These are similar to the French 'Croquette', but instead of mashed potato they are filled with a scalding-hot mystery-meat 'sludge' that sticks to the inside of your mouth like savoury napalm. Of course if you are drunk when you eat one you usually don't notice exactly how hot they are until you sober-up the next day and the find the skin peeling-off the roof of your mouth... :)

    More info, and a recipe for krokets here:

    http://almostbourdain.blogspot.com/2010/01/kroketten-dutch-croquettes.html

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      My congratulations

      I congratulate you sir, for the use of the phrase 'savoury napalm'.

      I must say, you're not really selling it to me very well as post pub food. But then I can't bring myself to face a British kebab shop or van even when drunk.

      A proper portion of fish'n'chip shop chips does it best. Proper fat ones, none of this frites malarkey either please. Although when I lived in Brussels, they were an OK substitute. I will however give credit to our Belgian friends for their excellent curry ketchup, which seemed to be some sort of sweet chilli, fake-tomato-y (OK, let's be honest, non-specific red flavour), yummyness.

      As for mayonnaise and chips? Down with this sort of thing!

      1. Lamont Cranston
        Pint

        Post pub,

        it has to be Sav'n'Chips, with plenty of salt (to replace that lost due to alcohol intake) - heavenly.

        Mayonnaise works best on wedges, or crispy fries, but is a disaster on real chips.

    2. Linbox
      Stop

      "mystery meat"

      Christ on a bike, I'd forgotten about that Amstel-fueled Kroket fest until just now.

      I feel sick all over again.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Kroket, bitterball, frikadel

      The dutch may not have invented deep-fried late-night food but they are definitely the ones who perfected it.

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
        Thumb Up

        Kroket bitterbal and frikandel

        Just a typo there, the German frikadel (meat ball) is very different from the Dutch frikandel (sausage of the CMOT Dibbler type).

        BTW a bitterbal is just a kroket but smaller, and round rather than cylindrical. They are usually served at cocktail parties and receptions. The correct etiquette after biting one is to say "Eeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuh" with your hand in front of your mouth.

        Thumbs up to "savoury napalm"

  12. SotW

    Rookies

    You made the mistake of putting the curds on the poutine after the gravy. The gravy goes on last please.

    Also...you can up the ante by putting chicken (or turkey...or smoked meat) and peas on it too. C'est magnifique!!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Take it from me

    As a born and bred Teessider you need at least 3 times the amount of cheese on your parmo to make it authentic.

  14. Ushtey
    Pint

    Manx national dish

    Ask any local staggering home from a pub in the Isle of Man and they'll happily tell you the Manx National Dish is chips, cheese & gravy.

    For the connoisseurs amongst you, add a dash of balsamic vinegar.

  15. Olafthemighty
    Pint

    It's exactly this sort of stupidity...

    That's kept me coming back here for the last 10 years!

    Excellent Friday article.

  16. Karl 14
    Happy

    Parmo's rule

    Sadly I no longer live in the Boro but when I do return a parmo is top of my needs, and now nearly every takeaway sells them in one form or another.

  17. Richard Jukes

    heh

    If I were your children I would start saving up to send you on a once in a lifetime trip to the Dignitas Hotel in Switzerland.

    1. Code Monkey
      Pint

      Or...

      ...just cook up a few more tasty Parmos

  18. Jim Carter
    Pint

    I'm surprised

    That no-one has mentioned that absolute staple of Scottish gut-busting gastronomy, the munchie box.

    Yes, I know it's a wikipedia link, but hey...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchy_box

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pork Milanese?

    Is this not what the Italians call Pork Milanese? (The Parmo that is).

    AC to avoid the hordes of angry Italian chefs.

    1. Sean Baggaley 1
      Thumb Up

      "AC to avoid the hordes of angry Italian chefs."

      It is, but the Italians are a bunch of gastronomic frauds anyway; pay them no heed. This is the country that sincerely believes having a differently shaped pasta is enough to make its "regional" pasta dish special in some way.

      The Italians can deep-fry with the best of them, however:

      Supplì — typically a sausage of ragù risotto with a lump of mozzarella cheese shoved inside, then deep fried in breadcrumbs; most popular in the Lazio region and its neighbours.

      Arancino ("little orange") — very similar to supplì: deep-fried risotto, but a different shape with no tomatoes, originally from Sicily,

      Calzone ("big sock") — usually a local meat product deep fried in a sort of pancake-ish batter;

      Olive Ascolane— olives stuffed with meat and deep fried in breadcrumbs

      And, of course, various forms of deep-fried cheese (usually mozzarella).

      (Seriously, why else do you think older Italians are so bloody fat? They *invented* fast food! The Romans even invented the burger!)

  20. horsham_sparky
    Pint

    Kebab!

    Deep fried pork.. you can't go wrong :-D

    having said that, picking up some dubious "meat" wrapped in flat bread with generous helpings watery chilli sauce with "salad" for those of us with a health conscience from your local turkish/greek cholesterol vendor (kebab shop) is:

    A: Safer whilst in the wobbly fermented (insert fruit/hop of choice) drink induced state that leads to unexplained injuries (and sometimes traffic cones) that are discovered sometime the next day after you've managed to crawl out of the bed/bathroom floor

    B: less likely to result in spouse induced aural pain when he/she discovers ground-zero where the kitchen used to be

    C: has chilli sauce.. nuff said!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Regarding Poutine

    One of the key things that was forgotten here, is that Poutine with just chips, curds and gravy (Placed IN THAT ORDER) is about the same as a pizza with just crust, tomato sauce and cheese. LACKING.

    Any poutine worth its salt has extras thrown in before the gravy as well. Jalapeno peppers, hot sauce, bacon chunks, that sort of thing.

    Or, go whole hog and have chips, onion rings, curds, jalapenos, hot sauce, bacon AND gravy. Keeps you going on a cold Canadian winter's day.

    1. AdamWill Silver badge

      Lacking?

      I believe you mean 'correct'. You're one of those hideous people who likes pineapple on your pizza, aren't you? Go join your friends in Al Quaeda.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IHOP Country Fried Steak & Eggs

    Had the misfortune of ordering one in US of these before I realized what "country fried" steak uwas (fried in bread crumbs with disgusting gravy on top). N.b. IHOP is International House of Pancakes.

    Quick bit of googling reveals the full nutrional horror

    http://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/ihop/country-fried-steak-and-eggs

    Calories 1535

    % Daily Values*

    Total Fat 105g 162%

    Saturated Fat 35g 175%

    Cholesterol 820mg 273%

    Sodium 2900mg 121%

    and the horror of the presentation

    http://fatchefdiaries.com/wp-content/uploads/IHOP-Chicken-Fried-Steak-Breakfast_5001.jpg

    1. Hayden Clark Silver badge
      Happy

      Yum!

      (I checked the image)

      Or, there's always pretty well anything from Denny's. Try a "Signature Skillet".

  23. Dan Price
    Pint

    I'll stick with my fusion cuisine.

    I like the look of some of that poutine, but I'll still stick my oar in in favour of that pinaccle of fusion cuisine - the doner kebab meat nanzza. Naan bread topped with cheese, tomato and doner meat, cooked in a pizza oven. have your cardiologist on speed dial.

  24. Grandcross
    FAIL

    Error in judging

    I believe a contest such as this can only be judged when drunk.

    That is the point after all, isn't it?

  25. Daren Nestor
    Pint

    In Limerick, Ireland

    Here in Limerick there's some sort of delicious post-prandial kebab war occurring. You can get better kebabs here than anywhere in England or Germany I've been and there's enough for two people in one kebab. None of your pita bread nonsense, it's donner meat on naan bread with salad and sauces.

    Currently the ranking is something like:

    1. Kashmir Kebab house,

    2. Noor Kebabs,

    3. Remix

    4. Chilli kebabish

    5. Turknaz

    ...

  26. mikeyboosh
    Thumb Up

    Speaking from experience....

    I work in Middlesbrough so I feel I'm well placed to comment....

    Parmo's (I try and said Parmasan to avoid looking like a chav) are awesome, they generally come in chicken rather than pork though, and cost about £6 ish for a "full" (which would easily make 2 meals) . I haven't had one for 6 months as I try and keep them too a minimum for health reasons!

    We've moved on to Shawarma's sandwiches now though...middle eastern loveliness!

  27. stu 4
    Alert

    your SON ?

    that is all.

  28. James Delaney
    Pint

    Great post Lester

    That is all.

  29. Stan the man

    Cant beat faggots mushy peas and chips

    Seems particular to Coventry

    Braised faggots obviously or else you wouldn't have that nice thick gravy all over the chips

    And as a special treat, curry sauce on the top! (Only if you want though, it's not mandated)

  30. chebucto
    Pint

    Next time, Donair

    Glad to see Canadian cuisine getting proper international recognition. May I suggest that next friday you tackle that other great Canadian post-bar specialty, the Donair. A modified version of the Greek Gyro, the donair consists of spiced mystery meat sliced off a spit, diced tomatoes, onions, and a sweet garlic-y sauce.

    This melange is all wrapped into a pita, double-wrapped in tinfoil, and placed in a paper takeout bag. You eat it like an ice cream cone, pealing the tinfoil down as you go. It's usually very messy (one is advised to leave both layers of tinfoil and the bag on as long as possible).

    Donairs were invented in Halifax, the city with the highest bars-per-capita in the country, and they are still neck-and-neck with pizza as the most popular after-bar snack, so you know it's got to be good!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      title

      Donair is a mispronounced, malformed doner kebab.

      1st mistake - the name.

      2nd mistake - pita. Arrrrgh

      3rd mistake - the meat, although maybe that's better 'out east'

      lol, it occurs to me as I type, kabob. lolol

      Note to Canadians talking of donair kabobs: You sound like Obama talking about Pokiston.

      1. Sethalos
        Happy

        Donair =\= Donair Kebob

        As a proud Donair eating Canadian I'd like to express my opinion here in respect to what a Donair is.

        First...there are many types of Donair for example, the Pita version, the flatbread version, or even the tortilla version (my personal fav). There are different sauces that you can put on them tzatziki, Garlic Donair Sauce, and there's even a spicy Marinara sauce used in some places.

        A Donair Kabob is a completely different animal...it is a normal kabob that uses donair meat, and not in the same league as the previous version of Donairs.

        Your talking about Donair Kabobs is like Bush talking about...well anything, just doesn't make sense. :)

    2. Sethalos

      Agreed

      I moved from the Maritimes to BC, and cannot find a decent donair out here. I'm going through a mystery meat and donair sauce withdrawals.

  31. FanMan

    Yield you guys

    Bow to the supremacy of the Aberdonian deep fried mealie puddin and stop all this nonsense you guys, you really are wasting your time.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    Poutine

    Looks to me like it'd be improved with curry sauce instead of gravy. Just my opinion, of course.

  33. Syldra
    Pint

    Bravo au chef

    Nice that you could make a reasonable looking poutine... always tought non-Canadian (and I'd say non-french-Canadian) couldn't. I'm impressed !

    I usually replace the gravy with spaghetti sauce but the important thing is that it must taste like salty fat.

    For those who care, the origin of the word "poutine" is not clear but it would seem it's derived from the english word "pudding" which was, my father told me, some mix of mashed potatoes, lard and gravy and cheese when they could afford some (I'm talking rural Québec of the 50's).

  34. Jason Bassford
    Meh

    Proper poutine.

    I'm Canadian, and while I like poutine in general, the "typical" recipe of just fries (okay, chips over there), cheese, and gravy does not normally make for a good meal. That's to good poutine what McDonald's is to a good burger.

    From the restaurant of one of my favourite examples of poutine:

    "Pulled Short Rib Poutine - Fresh cut fries topped with alfredo, Tankhouse Ale, braised Angus short ribs, green onions and Ontario cheese curds, smothered in gravy."

    In this case, the Tankouse Ale is a home-brewed, nicely hopped, pale ale.

    You need the general framework, but you also want to build on it so it's not just a glob of gravy and chips. It should actually be a very nice tasting meal. When I ate the above I did not simply feel like my arteries were hardening, as I have with typical poutine.

  35. chebucto
    Boffin

    @AC (re: Poutine)

    All points you made are understandable, but stem from misunderstanding.

    The name: it's different than a doner, so it has a different name

    The pita: you are quite right, this can be the worst part of the whole thing. But, a good chef will fry the pita on the hotplate with the meat; then, after it's soaked up the juices from the meat and veg, and absorbed some of the donair sauce, it is perhaps the best part. This is most obvious if you take a donair home, open it, eat it off a plate, and consume the pita seperately: it becomes a starchy, fatty, sweet, fried bit of heaven.

    As for the meat, well, it is mystery meat (local rumor has it that it's grade 'F' beef'), but it does the trick and, after a few at the local bar, it does the trick.

    Next time you're in Halifax, go to a good joint (KOD on pizza corner, or Uncle Buck's, or a dozen other places) and taste what I'm talking about :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Maybe

      Must be a coincidence then that everywhere on the Prairies I see the words 'Donair' or 'Kabob', the product on offer bears a stark resemblance to a crap doner kebab, such as the frozen microwavable jobs that the blighty-bound amongst us will have bought once, and once only.

      Nova Scotia's on the to-do list though, and I'll look forward to trying the real deal once I'm done gorging on decent seafood ;)

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Zen

    In Loughborough they do a 'snack' of stunning Zen simplicity. No assembly, no messing, just deep fried chunks of pork belly.

  37. Tim

    Coordination

    It's a bit bloody complicated isn't it? I mean, you're not really supposed to leave the pub if you're still able to make such involved dishes. Is this the result of immersion in that European "cafe culture" we heard so much about when 24hr drinking was introduced in the UK a few years ago? Have you gone native, Lester? Very good work by your kids, though.

    I tried to cook post-pub once. I wanted a pizza, so I stuck the oven on and put in a cold slice from the box in my fridge. I awoke on the kitchen floor at daybreak lying on a large, sharp knife with a cloud of cheesy smoke wafting overhead. The pizza was half the size and black. I ate it anyway.

  38. Mike VandeVelde
    Angel

    "poutinerie" ftw

    look at the menus for inspiration:

    http://www.mybigcheese.com/

    http://smokespoutinerie.com/

    end of discussion.

    (+1 for donairs, for a little variety now and then)

    (deep fried pork cutlets compare how exactly???)

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    masaoi

    Here's how you really make poutine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaZYzXDxlyA

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lightweights - but understandable

    Lightweights the lot of you, but understandable, as you don't have the option of:

    scattered smothered covered chunked diced peppered capped and topped (or more simply, "all the way").

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House

    Open 24/7/365.25 for all your atherosclerosic needs.

    (hash brown potatoes: "scattered" (spread on the grill), "smothered" (with onions), "covered" (with cheese), "chunked" (with diced ham), "diced" (with diced tomatoes), "peppered" (with jalapeño peppers), "capped" (with mushrooms), "topped" (with chili) )

  41. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    Sweet Jesus

    I think I'm going to be sick.

  42. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    Holy s**t

    My arteries are hardening just reading this.

    I think they do something similar in Chicago, more cheese with some meat in it in a sort of baguette.

    As I am already Mr Wobblebottom I'm going to have decline this recipe.

    Bon apetit to you all.

  43. Southern

    Nice..

    I recall at uni I used to get back from the pubs and want eggs on toast. Except in my drunken state I thought I could do the old trick of cooking with the aid of a mug and a microwave.

    Mostly it seemed okay, but occassionally my post pub snack had to be retrieved in pieces with the aid of a spatula as it had become stuck to the top of the microwave's innards.

    Good to see proper science of the culinary kind on El Reg.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    just open the fridge

    and improvise.

    Although this can cause problems if the shepherd pie that went down a treat after a pint or eight turns out to be tomorrow's dinner.

  45. 4HiMarks
    Trollface

    microwavable burritos

    'Nuff said

  46. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Amateurs and liers to a man

    No one but no one can call themselves a drinker AND have a deep fat fryer in the house. Unless its the house your staying at while yours is rebuilt.

    Repeat ad nauseam.

  47. Steve Gill

    Shawarma

    Anyone know where you can get a decent Shawarma in the UK? Similar to a kebab but uses spiced lumps of real lamb instead of mystery meat.

    1. Piezor
      Thumb Up

      shawarma

      funnily enough there's a place in the boro that does a quality shawarma. So you can sample a parmo while you're here.

  48. Tibbs
    Happy

    Regional Delicacies

    It seems to be perculiar to Worcester, but htey have the truly magnificant Scoffs, purveyor of the hot pork roll.

    Ingredients:

    1 Baguette (Minimally cooked)

    Lots of Pork, shredded

    Sage & Onion Stuffing

    Apple Sauce

    Enormous Chunk of over-salted, barely edible crackling.

    Never seen it anywhere else, but vital when you've had a skinful in the 'Loyal City'...

  49. cdilla
    Thumb Up

    Top Entertainment

    Best entertainment on the site all week. Bar none. Sorry Simon.

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