"no word on pricing yet"
Don't bother. They could not pay me enough to even stand near one, let alone drive it.
Has BMW lost the plot? We have to wonder, given what it's been doing to the Mini of late. It's newsest attempt to extend the acme of small cars: a coupé model, introduced today. OK, so it hasn't been as hit as hard with the ugly stick as its stablemate, the Countryman - a vehicle that's just plain wrong - but the Coupé is …
BMW seems to have a rule to hire freak designers to rather destroy a franchise before it could age into a slow decline...?
That thing is so ughh wrong....
I could think of any number of ways to make a decent coupe to the mini line, without trying to turn it into a 3 dimensional Picasso style piece of visual disturbance.
Soon, I expect, they'll come out with asymetric cars, using electronic assists to prevent them from driving perpetual spirals on the road.
Yes my arms were much stronger in those days, the best experience was on the M1 and the gear stick came off in my hand while changing gear.
Remember people saying, "what this has 5 gears!" and "what's front wheel drive!"
With snow tryes on I could go up the hill at the back of Olivers Mount in Scarborough!
Bring back the Maxi! That's what I say!
or does it look kinda cool? - No it doesn't, it's just you!!
What are BMW smoking these days? the orginal new mini was OK, if not to my taste, but they do seem to be hell bent on trashing the brand
Also what are El Reg smoking - If I ant read about Cars I will got to Auto Express. Where a car is loaded with cool tech like the new Focus then OK, but this isn't.....
I would put this as about the best looking of all the 'new' mini models. That is starting from a fairly low baseline though.
At least it gets past how, viewed from the back, they look like someone stuck an old mini into a low-sided trailer, although again to be fair, this seems to be the norm for all re-releases such as the mini, the fiat500 etc etc etc
...from the Fiat 500 much guys?
Why would you buy a Mini? Everyone I know thats bought one over the years has gotten rid of it within 18 months.
In that time the novelty wears off in terms of crap bootspace or staggeringly high parts and servicing.
The Mini - Filed under "seemed a good idea at the time"
I agree with what you say but the 500 is a bit of a pose mobile itself and has most of the same shortcomings.
In fact it's just a more expensive way of buying a Fiat Panda. Wait till the Twin Air engine 'trickles down' to the Panda and you'll notice a lot more Panda's being sold.
Not only is it ugly, but I can't see there being any practical purpose to that retractable spoiler. It's a front-wheel-drive car, after all. And even the souped-up "John Cooper Works" is going to be crapped on by a Golf GTi.
Massive fail.
Also what's the relevance of MG to all this? BMW never really had anything to do with MG, they bought MG-Rover in 1994 and sold it again in 2000 having made no significant impact.
Quote: "The vanilla Coupé runs from 0-62mph in 9s to reach a top speed of 127mph"
My Pensioner Utility Vehicle aka Daihatsu Sirion Mk1/2003 hits 62mph in 9s. If it is a sports car it should at least be able to out-accelerate your average OAP cart for crying out loud.
Massive FAIL.
quote: "Quote: "The vanilla Coupé... If it is a sports car..."
if you're after a sports car, you're not going to be getting the vanilla option, are you?
you'll be getting at least the S
and if your wallet is fat enough, you'll get the JCW version
and the only time you'll see one of those while sitting in your Daihatsu is while it's disappearing into the distance, leaving you eating it's dust
"....it ugly...." Agreed.
".....I can't see there being any practical purpose to that retractable spoiler. It's a front-wheel-drive car, after all....." Ermm, actually front- or rear-wheel drive, a spoiler can still benefit the roadholding if it is designed correctly. Whether it needs to be an expensive, likely-to-fail-because-it's-more-electrics retractable one is debateable, but then seeing as the people that buy modern MINIs are more interested in flash than function, they will probably see it as a plus point.
".....is going to be crapped on by a Golf GTi....." You mean the new GTi? And how much more does that cost, how much bigger is it, and how much bigger (and thirstier) will the GTi's engine be? I suggest you compare with something in the same class, like maybe the Polo GTi. Then again, maybe not - the Polo GTi is just as fast accellerating as the bigger Golf GTi, which kinda makes you look silly for buying the Golf!
"......what's the relevance of MG to all this...." The original plan was that the replacement for the Rover 25 would share the same base as the MINI, and an MG version was planned. Which begs the question how much of this is original work and how much is just a rehash of the MG that was planned.
for a tenth of the cost and just stick a grand in the bank for if it gets the head gasket failure (although I've had an F and a TF and never had a problem).
A great fun drivers car, sadly spoilt by the "hairdresser" stigma. Same with the Suzuki SJ or Vitara - take one off road and rally it to the limit and you'll agree!
The superiority of German technology coupled with advances in automotive research and development have resulted in BMW finally being able to put a high sheen on a turd.
Furthermore they are able to sell them at a premium price to people with iPads.
I have a friend with a Countryman. I haven't had the heart to tell him that it's a fat f$ckin ugly mutant offspring of a Mini and a ford Fusion.
Engine is nice though.
The new engine and transmissions are putrid Peugeot units which have been tinkered with. The mark 1 bmw mini was an old yank 4 cylinder single camshaft buick engine with a peugeot gear box.
This is gonna be too pricey for what it is. I agree everyone I know whos had a mini got rid after 18months.
TRoll cause this is
Or are all MINIs driven by cretins? It's one of those cars, like the Audi A3, to which you give a very wide berth. Junior management types with more testosterone than concentration, airhead secretaries and Foxtons estate agents.
Paris, because she's probably have one if it were pimped up a bit with diamonds and a fur interior.
I've noticed that pretty much any car driven by someone who looks on them as something more than just personal transport, and treats cars as a lifestyle choice, and who follows all the latest trends and models in cars, and thinks Top Gear is cool, appears to be driven by a cretin.
Heck. If you're the type that thinks all cars of a particular model or make are driven by cretins and to be avoided, then there is a good chance that your own car, whatever it is, will at times appear to be driven by a cretin as you swerve around other cars or slam on the brakes for no readily apparent reason.
If you assume that all cars, including your own, (and my own) are driven by cretins then you may get home in one piece.
You're using religious terminology for a car? If you think those original minis were less ugly than the new one then you're wearing nostalgia goggles. I remember a work colleague in the late 1970's buying one new because everyone said how wonderful they were. It was a basic shell of a car with zero frills. You could see the disappointment in his face, though he would never admit it. Its a fantasy that doesn't live up to its reputation. He drove it 6 months before buying a Ford Fiesta. I'd rather drive a Sports Ka.
Would you turn one down as a gracious gift of gratitude? That is the Beauty in ITs Phorm.
Ok, that just getting far too way out cryptic for most even cool dudes. The savvier, heavier, headier squads charged with action, though, should be alive and immaculately responsive to a changed environment in which All is Known about Everything.
Thus are Ends Known before Journeys are ever Beginning ........ Life and LOVE Keys which open all doors are in those Few Choice Words.
Wow... Top Gear this aint, is it? Oh dear, was that that kiss of death thingie whereby if you mention Clarkson, the madness descends on communities looking for a feast ... or prey.:-)
I pity the fool who admits to liking this in the pub one day and then accidentally goes down to his nearest dealer and drops his hard-earned on one, before getting home and realising the catastrophic error he has just committed. What is that mess of lines, windows, roof and lord knows what else around the back?
It looks like they saw an old Honda Beat and thought they could make one out of a Mini, an angle grinder and whatever else they could find in the shed in the 45 minutes it took them.
Come on guys; yes I am guessing that most of the Reg readers are of the bollock encumbered sex. The German Mini is almost always driven by milf. Well they sometimes look like milf but invariably when they pop their calves out of the door in graceful fashion you realise that they are in fact a 1664. BTW for the uninitiated it's a VIZ thing.
I have an Omega - quite a large car.
Recently I was near a new MINI (think it was either parked or behind at traffic lights).
Similar width, not sure on length, but the MINI was a lot taller than my large car. I reckon it was getting on for Freelander height!
Then I have also seen a 5 door one, 2 on drivers side 1 on passsenger side (stupid) , 2 a back.
The Cooper S version is a real blast to drive fast for a FWD, as long as nobody sees you in it. Though I am not fond of the cabrio, looks too much like a picnic basket.
All the other hideous variants, such as the Clubman (hearse for hobbits), Countryman (brick with a mini badge) etc, are style accessories and a good indication what you can sell to fools with the correct badge.
Strangely I kinda like the 1M, with its big wheel arches, long bonnet and all. Right size for a coupe, the 3 series look too big and grown-up. And designwise I really like the new Z4, it appears BMW forgot to make it fugly.
But no matter- this new Mini will sell like hotcakes. They will be everywhere. Even if it's uglier and more expensive than its Peugeot sibling, the RCZ.