back to article Commons hit by rash of laptop thefts

The House of Commons' perennial theft problem has become increasingly high tech, with sporadic thefts of computers in recent years turning into a veritable run on laptops, according to the latest figures. In a Commons answer last week, John Thurso detailed cases of theft on the Commons Estate over the last five years, for the …


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  2. ratfox

    What do you expect?

    When you bring together so many people of low morality...

    1. seanj

      Re: What do you expect?

      ... especially when you take away a large portion of their "salary", which they usually steal in the form of expenses...

      1. Willington

        Re: Re: What do you expect?

        How else could they possibly make ends meet?

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Birds of a feather

      OMG! not content with stealing from the people, now there stealing from themselves

      Birds of a feather stick together lol

      But how do we know they have been stolen, have you ever heard a mp tell the truth. mmm

  3. Sooty

    Bottle of whisky?

    A set of golf clubs?

    Somehow Icv ink I'd be the one answering questions if I'd had those things stolen from my place of employment!

    1. BristolBachelor Gold badge


      If it was employment, they'd have to work for the money.

      They would have to justify what they did.

      They could (would) be fired for their incompetence, failures and not doing what they said at interview.

      They would be fired and prosecuted for embezzling money from the company.

  4. PapaBravo
    Big Brother


    ...will the ICO be investigating this spate of laptop thefts and fining appropriately as they have done with Local Authorities and NHS Trusts?

    1. BristolBachelor Gold badge


      Why would the ICO get involved? or are the results of the MPs games of solitare considered "personal information"?

      You wouldn't expect to find anything else on the laptops would you? The file "my ebezzlement.xls" was deleted over a year ago.

  5. 7mark7

    Inevitable really ...

    ... now they need to be more careful with their expenses, they need to make up the shortfall somehow.

    Mine's the one with the watch inscribed "don't let the b*stards grind you down" in the pocket.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    (almost) At last?

    Now MP's know what it feels like to live on some council estates no?

    While the rate of crime might be horribly smaller the pace of increase - ah well there's the thing.

  7. Drummer Boy

    That's what happens

    when a large number of people with criminal records are housed in a single building!!

  8. Christoph


    This is the place with the ultra-high security to keep terrorists out? And they can't even stop every passing tea-leaf wandering in to see what he can pick up?

    1. Naughtyhorse
      Thumb Up

      why passing tealeaf?

      Theres 650 tealeafing fuckers there every day. (at least according to their expeses claims there are)

  9. Peter Clarke 1
    Big Brother

    Bumper Year

    This year (2011) is only half-way so the end tally is going to be higher

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Bloody Conservatives

    The post is required, and must contain letters.

  11. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    Who was the MP who had charm?

    Or are we talking about David Cameron's bracelet with a little doll of Nick Clegg hanging from it.

    The one with all those pins stuck in it.

    For when Nick Clegg himself isn't around to stick pins into.

  12. Simon Blair

    Parliament full of thieves?

    What a surprise...

  13. Anonymous Coward

    The Honourable Gentlemen ...

    ... from Merseyside are helping Black Rod with his enquiries.

  14. anon01789

    Commons hit by rash of laptop thefts

    given that many hotels & restaurants make up shortfalls from ***staff tips***, why couldn't expences pay outs to MPs be reduced by the cost of items misplaced?

    As in some one involved with expenses pay outs makes an estimate as to what the total of this year's expenses bill might be on jan 1St, then deducts a percentage from reimbursements through out the year to cover last year's losses. All you do is reduce the allowances for differant things. For example instead of £10 for a sandwhich that was allowed last year, this year we allow £8.50 with £1.50 to the losses fund callled an admin fee

  15. Ascylto
    Big Brother


    Black Plod surely!

    It's all been said but, honestly, what do you expect in a den of thieves. (Am I allowed to say that?)

  16. NRT

    "...cases of theft .............. for the benefit of MP Keith Vaz."

    I think I may have solved it! ;-)


  17. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    We need new metrics!!!

    What is the going ratio of laptops to duck houses? As far as I can see it was £1645, it's 1:1 for a Macbook, about 2:1 for iPads, and give or take 4:1 for laptops (on the assumption that nobody in their right mind would give them anything more powerful to ruin/lose/steal).

    I propose that from now on we will measure any UK government matters in duck house equivalents, or DHEs. We could also use TSEs (toilet seat equivalents), but the value of that varies too much - it sort of floats in a different way. Or is in close proximity to things that float -- aargh, sorry to leave with with that image.

    Anyway, DHEs anyone? El Reg? Can we add that to the official metrics?

    Personally, I think El Reg needs a permanent front page link to these metrics, and their iPhone App should have a conversion facility built in or at least a link..

    1. Naughtyhorse

      the duckhouse eh???

      I like it, tht's...

      lemmie see

      1/3 of an archer isnt it?

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