Belgium!
That is all.
The good burghers of Barnsley had better watch their mouths for the next month, because anyone caught effing and blinding in an intimidatory fashion could be slapped with an 80 quid on-the-spot fine. The month of June promises to be relatively fu*k-free in the town centre after South Yorkshire Police and community organisation …
... Barnsley doesn't really *have* a centre, in the sense that many people mean by "town centre". There is just a nebulous area defined by a pedestrian precinct surrounded by fewer residential properties than a bit further out (Doncaster, Rotherham, and Sheffield are the same). There is absolutely no character in any of them, which makes the out-of-town shopping centres so much more attractive - they have no character either, but at least you know where the shops are, and you can park, for free, near to them.
The problem is that successive Labour controlled councils have had to show that they have no interest in history, because it was all about the rich subjugating the poor, and they did actually demolish whole town centres to start from scratch. We are now left with no historical buildings at all, and the replacements are shite.
Sheffield suffered a lot of council sponsored vandalism but for the past few years they actually seem to be doing things right. The town centre is pretty damn good now.
Sadly, I'm stuck in Chav town (Rotherham) which must rate as the carbuncle on the backside of South Yorkshire.
Nar then, Register me old cocker. I tek some reyt offence at that knock it darn and rebuild it from scratch remark. Theres nowt up with t'tarn centre I tell thi, looks much better than it did 10 bleedin years ago, T'Market cud do wi sorting art though!
I think there'll be lots of fines too, purely due to the amount of idiots we get there on the outskirts of the centre of town. Many times I've had to tell some halfwit to stop swearing as my children (and others) are close and I don't appreciate the language. Most of them apologise but I've had a bit of more negative feedback from some of the cretins too.
Nar Im gunna tek me whippet art and get back darn t'pit afterward! See thi!
So, it'll be legal to approach your mother-in-law in broad daylight, and say, "You're a wretched trollop and a whore - a filthy six-pence hooker whose decaying body could attract only the meth-addled or the blind; your cracked, reptilian skin, your rancid, flopping flesh, and your freakish, distorted body are an affront to humanity and an offence to God"... and it WON'T be legal to say, "Oh, you're such a bitch."
Hmm...
"In any case, some locals doubt the clampdown will do much to clear the air of expletives. One local summarised to the Beeb: "I think there'll be a lot of fines.""
That's the point isn't it? If the police are happy to reduce speeding fines into little more money making ventures for councils eager to find funds then it's hardly surprising that they'd try something like this...
Since pretty f***ing is pretty much an everyday word in some parts of Scotland then anyone coming down from Glasgow or Dundee and "swearing" in Barnsley might be a tad confused when they get slapped by a fine.
So who decides what is and isn't swearing? Are variations swearing such as "bi-aaatch" and Father Jack's famous "Fecking"?
If it's just when directed at someone in a hostile way, then don't the existing laws on public disorder offences and such cover it anyway thus removing the need to actually bother telling people that everyone in Barnsley apparently swears...?
... if you dare:
1) They just ain't got the manpower cos..
2) Swearing has now entirely replaced that difficult to use punctuation, as in: "You fuck doan gi me that shit you ain got f-all balls get to fuck" (and that's just the Doctor)
3) Costs would be too high: issuing every copper with enough translators to cover 100 odd linguistic versions (plus assorted dialects) of "fuck off" would double the national debt
4) No one has 80 quid they'll admit to
Surely just shouting at someome is enough whether it be swearing or not. If I am angry for whatever reason I measure whether to swear or not, usually taking into account who it is and what I think they've done to upset me. If I think they need to be sworn at then I have good reason to do so, and not get some automatic fine. Will I now have to appeal in the courts about why I was angry at someone and for them to defend themselves? Sheesh!