back to article Danish embassy issues MARMITE WAFFLE

Following yesterday's news that the Danish authorities had deprived Brit expats of their favourite yeast-based nourishment, the country's London embassy has seen fit to clarify the position vis-à-vis Marmite. According to this official statement, neither Marmite nor its Oz rival Vegemite are banned in Denmark, because they've …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Airstrikes

    that is all

  2. Monkey Bob
    Happy

    mmmmm...

    Marmite Waffles...

  3. Pavlov's obedient mutt

    it should be banned...

    .. because its the foulest smear on the planet. Distilled from engine oil drained from a million mile truck

    1. Joefish
      Joke

      But that's what

      gives it character!

    2. relpy
      Thumb Up

      Hear Hear!

      Marmite is a crime against humanity.

      I for one am emigrating to Denmark.

  4. Still Water
    IT Angle

    Bovril

    Now we're talking.

  5. Candy
    Happy

    Cold, dead hands, eh?

    The eugenics advocate in me wants to be thankful that this aberrant portion of the gene pool is autonomously volunteering to be removed.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Megaphone

      "...thankful that this aberrant portion of the gene pool is autonomously volunteering to be removed"

      Just remember...there is no Lifeguard at the Gene Pool.

  6. BristolBachelor Gold badge
    Joke

    Added vitamins?

    I thought they just scraped it from the bottom of the barrel and put it in jars?

    1. David Hicks
      Flame

      As an expat, a homebrewer and a marmite lover...

      ... let me say - I should be so lucky!

      Paying Australian specialty-shop prices for Brit-Mite* is no fun at all!

      (*it has to be relabelled due to Marmite already being a thing here, it's another yeast extract spread but it's just not the same)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Brit-Mite?

        I've seen it lablled as "Our Mate" and it's not that expensive at farmer hating Coles supermarkets, although not all Coles. A bit more expensive that vegemite of the 125g size but damn tastier.

  7. Paratrooping Parrot
    WTF?

    It's simple

    All they are saying is that Marmite is claiming that it has added vitamins. It is claiming to have health benefits. Anything that says it has health benefits is claiming to be medicinal, therefore it has to be approved by their department that deals with medicines.

    Since Marmite has not applied for approval, the sale of Marmite has not been approved. Therefore, it is not allowed to sell Marmite.

    That was not so difficult, was it?

    1. Ministry of Truth

      We shall go on til the end...

      Yeeeess we get all that, but you're missing a huge opportunity for self-righteous Daily Fail style jingoistic ranting!

      MY MATE! MARMITE! Shall be the battlecry!

      It's a brave move from the Danes - what are they going to do - throw Lego at us? ;-)

      1. Joefish
        Heart

        Throw LEGO® at us?

        *Fetches more buckets*

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Big Brother

      Well...

      It may be the food industry's counterpart to Agent Orange [use industrial waste and repackage it], but the sanity of the principle of "everything which has not been allowed by a committee of government cave dwellers is forbidden" eludes me.

      Also, In Soviet Russia, Marmite eats you!

    3. Lamont Cranston

      Claiming added vitamins

      and claiming health benefits, are not necessarily the same thing.

      Vitamin and health concerns aside, Marmite is the finest spread available to top one's toast with, and the Danes are missing out. More fool them.

  8. Joeykins
    Joke

    Time trumpet might well be right

    Perhaps an alliance between Tesco and Marmite...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PSyiRXIEyc

  9. Winkypop Silver badge
    FAIL

    Subversive Salty Spreads Suspended!!!

    Meanwhile quack-medicine and alt-med goes from strength to strength.

    1. DrXym Silver badge

      Well there is some regulation

      Health food shops flipped their wigs when the EU implemented a food supplements directive. The reason for their ire? That supplements had to scientifically prove they were safe in order to be approved products.

      It's better than nothing but doesn't go anywhere close to far enough IMO. Stuff like homeopathy may be safe but it's also utterly useless. And it seems that chinese medicine stores are setting up shop in virtually every shopping centre these days with signs promoting various bogus treatments. Where is the regulation for this?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Bogus

        Well, the health food shops flipped their wigs because of the cost of testing - what did you expect, they are businesses after all. By many measures fashion and homoeopathy are both useless, are you going to call for fashion to be made illegal? Chinese medicine stores are exactly that and I'll bet you they could rustle up a heck of a lot of first class research to show that their medicines work. All you would have to argue with is percentages.

        Phooey - laws are for real problems.

        1. DrXym Silver badge

          Eh?

          It's quite simple, if you manufacture a product that claims medicinal properties then the burden of proof should be on you to prove your claims and to prove the product works. Given that Holland and Barrett is packed with supplements, herbs and vitamins which didn't fall foul of this regulation, I'd say it was a fuss about nothing.

          I don't even know where to start with your comparison between fashion and chinese medicine and homeopathy. The consequences of wearing flares are slightly less dire than eschewing a proper evidence based medical treatment for quackery. The rules that require supplements prove themselves safe should also be required to prove themselves efficacious beyond placebo and those rules should apply whether we're talking chinese medicine, herbal supplements, vitamins or anything else of that nature.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Bogosity

            Holland & Barrett campaigned against the EU directive -"They're perfectly safe and they've been on sale for decades" -Peter Aldiss, managing director of Holland and Barrett - but didn't succeed in stopping it . So, business is business, I presume they had to comply.

            That doesn't make it a particularly useful law though.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Badgers

    I've always like the Danes really...

    ....I don't care what people say about them. If an entire government can come together in perfect, simple, logical harmony to rid its country from a disgusting product like this, it's alright by me.

    My girlfriend on the other hand was genuinely quite shocked, I tried to help ease her consternation by explaining, thus, "It smells like sh*t, it looks like sh*t and I can only imagine it's trying its best to taste like sh*t."

    Her, quite defiantely: "Actually, it looks like it's because of the fortification."

    Me, "Then it's fortified with sh*t as well."

    She gave me the finger and not in any good way...

    1. stucs201

      If your sh*t looks like marmite...

      ...then I suggest you need to see a doctor and get that problem sorted out.

    2. Richard Taylor 2
      Pirate

      In a good way?

      The mind boggles, but please do not explain and just leave us all in blissful ignorance

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    (untitled)

    By that logic all food has health benefits. Were I not to eat any my health would suffer. So all food is medical then ?

    1. DrXym Silver badge

      Not really

      I expect Denmark like most countries has regulations with regard to food supplements, i.e. things which are not foods in the traditional sense but supplement food with nutrients like vitamins, iron and so on. Is marmite a food? Well you eat it for sure, but it also claims to be good for you, to be fortified with vitamins and so on. Therefore perhaps it falls on the wrong side of the fence as far as Danish law is concerned.

      The simple answer would be to submit the product for approval and see for certain if it is approved and if not on what grounds it was denied. In the absence of that, we get the usual hysteria from the likes of the Daily Mail who never let facts, reason or mitigating circumstances get in the way of a good story.

  12. John Hawkins
    Thumb Down

    Danish liberalism...

    Once upon a time the Danes were regarded as uninhibited and liberal - now they appear to be up-tight and xenophobic.

    Mind you, I wouldn't touch the foul stuff myself. Or Vegemite for that matter; equally inedible.

  13. Is it me?

    Boycott Danish Bacon & Lego

    If they won't take our Marmite, we won't eat their bacon, or build with their bricks.

    And what about Carlsburg and Tubourg, Ha.

    1. Bassey

      Re: Boycott Danish Bacon & Lego

      Wouldn't touch their bacon with a barge pole. Its 90% water anyway. Lego, however....I don't think my boys would forgive me if I didn't let them play with lego.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Lego - aarhg

        I blame Lego for the plethora of awful, lego-concrete-glass so-called architecture blighting Europe. The so-called architects are still thinking in Lego terms.

        1. Colin Brett
          Alert

          Where did that icon come from?

          It's not on the list I see below.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            All you need to do

            is post anonymously!

            I wonder what else El Reg has up it's sleeve (or behind the mask!)

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            the icon?

            try posting anonymously.

            you ain't seen me, roight?

            1. bazza Silver badge

              <Sharks with frickin lasers>Title

              Just fishing to see if I can discover another icon. Oh, and down with Denmark, the marmite menacers.

              1. Fluffykins

                Marmite Laser

                Now that's a thought.

      2. BoldMan

        Boycott Lego, switch to Meccano!

        Mind you sadly nowadays Meccano is owned and made by the French!!! Frank Hornby must be spinning in his grave (on an axle supported by a flat trunion and helical gear)

    2. Fluffykins

      Carlsburg and Tubourg

      Is that the same thing I have come to know and detest as Near frozen Gnat's Urine (TM)?

  14. proto-robbie
    Coat

    But they've even put up a statue to it...

    ...The Little Marmite?

  15. DrXym Silver badge

    Typical storm in a teacup

    If ever Marmite did apply for sale in Denmark and was refused, the problem has an easy solution - don't fortify the stuff with vitamins. Marmite's alleged health giving properties are somewhat moot anyway when the stuff is yeast sludge mixed with salt. I enjoy marmite on toast with a cup of tea but I don't do it for my health.

    Besides how many expats are there in Denmark who wouldn't be flying home to the UK at least once a year. A jar of Marmite lasts for so long that it's not hard to carry a jar over.

    1. x4zYYvb3

      Vitamin B12 is bad for you?

      If you don't fortify Marmite then vegans and vegetarians in particular (or anyone with an inability to absorb vitamin B12 such as the elderly) could suffer problems because of a lack of vitamin B12. The effects of a deficiancy of B12, if not treated include permanent damage to your nervous system.

      Vitamin B12 has low levels of toxicity even when taken in high doses.

      1. DrXym Silver badge

        So vegans / vegetarians have no other way of obtaining these vitamins

        So how do vegetarians in Denmark survive without marmite? Is there a blackmarket in this life giving substance? Or could it be that there are other sources of vitamins? I bet most vegetarians are taking supplements anyway.

        It's all academic of course since the story is puffery. I expect if marmite were submitted it would get a rubber stamp and that would be that.

  16. Jim 59
    Stop

    Marmlite

    Marmite has grown weak over the years. It used to be a selling point that only a very small ammount was needed on your toast. Now, you won't taste anything unless you use a big dollop. Same small jars though. What a crock.

    1. Eponymous Cowherd
      Thumb Up

      Try this

      Marmite XO

      http://www.marmiteshop.co.uk/productdetail.jsp?productPK=unittest-ia9HbdRrFyQb2k5hqN3IEb-1

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Marmlite

      "Marmite has grown weak over the years."

      Sure about that? Or is it your taste buds that have grown weak over the years?

    3. It'sa Mea... Mario
      Alert

      Weak Marmite..

      Avoid the Squeezey one.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Ban Bacon & Lego(tm)???

    Will someone please think of the children!!!!

  18. James Thomas

    Bloody immigrants!

    Immigrants going over there and refusing to integrate! They should go back where they came from!

  19. Blitheringeejit
    Pint

    Yeast confection

    But what happens to all the yeast left over from brewing Carlsberg? They could be making probably the best marmite in the world...

    Pint, obviously.

  20. Blue eyed boy
    Boffin

    Perhaps the Danes can go on to lead the way

    and extend this display of ofermod to banning McDonalds, KFC and other foul concoctions that pass as food, sorry, that are thrust upon us as food, here in the EU.

    Ofermod? Tolkien fans will know what I'm talking about. As will (ironically in view of the Tolkien connection) any Danes reading this.

  21. x4zYYvb3
    Coat

    So it's not "banned".....

    ...but until Marmite is approved by the relevant Danish ministry.......

    ......it is "banned" from sale in Denmark.

    You are better off being a sheep sh•gging expat in Denmark, than a Marmite eating expat in Denmark, as bestiality has already been approved by the Danish authorities, as have sheep.

    I'm on my way out.....

    1. Piro Silver badge
      FAIL

      Technically true

      There's no law against bestiality specifically...

  22. Lars Silver badge
    WTF?

    I think you are beeing silly

    Just do the application, there must be a hell of o lot of stuff with vitamins approved in Denmark.

  23. Your Retarded
    Linux

    distribution of products with "added ... other substances"

    That would be almost all prepared food, then?

    I smell a rat. Which would be fine, but only if you eat it without adding any condiment.

    Penguins probably off the menu as well.

    1. Richard 120
      WTF?

      agreed

      I read "added vitamins, minerals or other substances" and thought, that's basically anything and everything you can eat then.

      That sounds a little bit like a rule designed to stifle free trade.

  24. Your Retarded
    WTF?

    Danish Dyslexia?

    "the Danish Veterinary and Food Administration"

    "The Danish Food and Veterinary Administration"

    So which is it?

  25. Dave 15 Silver badge

    I wouldn't mind but....

    a) We are continually told we can't stop this or that because its against european laws, but every other european country does manage to ban things (especially British things)

    b) While vitamins seem to have to prove they are ok the poisons used to sweeten various products (squashes etc) seem to be imune - despite several studies linking them to brain cancer.

    c) I don't have a nice big van to deliver marmite bought from me on the internet.... sure this would allow a swift trip around the danish ban (and it is effectively a ban)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I do mind ;)

      ***a) We are continually told we can't stop this or that because its against european laws, but every other european country does manage to ban things (especially British things)***

      That is because many of those "European laws" that we "cannot do anything about" are the very same laws which have been pushed through in Europe by British representatives (while being unsuccesfully worked against by representatives of many other european countries)!

      ***b) While vitamins seem to have to prove they are ok the poisons used to sweeten various products (squashes etc) seem to be imune - despite several studies linking them to brain cancer.***

      You will probably find that those poisons popular in the Uk are not on the market in many European countries. In a related matter you will find Formaldehyde in most Schampo sold in the UK while the very same products on the continent does not include it (as it has not been allowed for decades abroad). Typically in the UK factory workers are not allowed to get in contact with the schampo etc as it is cancerogenic.

      ***c) I don't have a nice big van to deliver marmite bought from me on the internet.... sure this would allow a swift trip around the danish ban (and it is effectively a ban)***

      No it is not a ban. It is a requirement that products which contain certain substances must be following proper procedure for sale. In the UK similar legislation means that some products need a particular description and perhaps even warning on them for being allowed to be on the market. Furthermore many products in the UK must also be sold only by specifically ratified sellers. For example pharmacies etc. The only real difference is that in the UK we do not necessarily have exactly the same substances that our government agencies worry about as in the rest of the world. Another example of this was a few years ago when "snus" (which was perfectly legal in many north european countries) was not allowed to be sold in the UK? Reason given - it was tobacco. A bit inconsistent to apply a ban specifically only for the reason that it contains tobacco - when most other tobacco products are still not banned in the UK?

  26. Steve X
    Thumb Down

    Cold Dead Hands?

    I *told* you that stuff wasn't good for you.

  27. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
    Coat

    @DrXym

    "...I don't even know where to start with your comparison between fashion and chinese medicine and homeopathy. The consequences of wearing flares are slightly less dire than eschewing a proper evidence based medical treatment for quackery..."

    Not in my street!

    I'll get my Ozwald Boateng...

  28. Blubster

    @Relpy

    "I for one am emigrating to Denmark."

    Good riddance - take some Marmite with you and donate it to ex-pats.

  29. Ole Juul

    The funny thing is that

    there are no "added vitamins" in Marmite. I just checked the label on the jar to make sure. However, I suspect that there may be some vitamins in it, but that also applies to spinach.

  30. elderlybloke
    Pint

    Marmite must be

    about as old as I am.

    I have only recently acquired the taste for it. Now have it (nearly)every morning.

    I will ignore the Vitamin B12 warning, as it sounded like the substance some say marmite tastes like.

    Yours,full of Vitality ,

    Elderlybloke

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Don't you even think

    About banning this over here. Unless you want a full scale riot by Marmite-lovers on your hands.

    This means you ConDem, you'd be amazed how few people it takes to bring the country to a standstill.

    Think fuel protests here.

    You have been warned.

    AC, for obvious reasons :-)

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