Rapture postponed as world inexplicably fails to end

Judgment Day prophet Harold Camping has some serious explaining to do after his prediction that the world would end on Saturday proved less than accurate. The 89-year-old founder of Family Radio nailed 6pm EST as the moment at which millions of true believers would be raptured heavenwards, while cataclysmic earthquakes rocked …

[Dotter]

I knew I should have...

Invested my life savings into a bet that the Rapture wouldn't happen.

[Anonymous Coward]

logic problem

But you'd need to find a Christian Bookie (otherwise the odds won't be worth it). Are there many of them (thinking money changers at the temple, camels and eyes of needles etc etc)?

[Blue eyed boy]

Don't worry (yet)

He'll find the bug in his calculations and come up with a corrected date some time soon.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm just pissed off

That he got it wrong. It means I have to pay back my stretched to breaking point credit card bill and Joe the loan shark from that mother of all end of the world parties.

Now where is the aspirin and medical insurance...

[mafoo]

guarantee

I love how all his literature, posters, website etc has the phrase:

"World will end May 21 2011: The Bible Guarantees It"

Not left himself much wriggle room there has he.

[John Smith 19]

@maifoo

"Not left himself much wriggle room there has he."

Good.

[Anonymous Coward]

The guy's an idiot

Anyone that makes such a statement about the world ending and then when asked what he will be doing replies "Watching it on TV" either is stating that he doesn't believe it himself or he's not the 'good christian' he claims to be and expects to still be there with the rest of us after the christians after been saved.

Or.... maybe there nobody good left and it really happened and it's just BUSINESS AS USUAL.

[DZ-Jay]

Yay for the Internet!

It seems my petition to Postpone Day of The Rapture worked--again!

http://www.petitiononline.com/dotr2011/

It's exhausting keeping up with this. Someone else should keep watch for the next prediction. I can't be expected to keep saving the world every single time.

-dZ.

[Pigeon]

You saved us unrighteous ones

Even though only 7 signatures. Is voting closed after the date?

I'll make sure my underwear is clean tomorrow.

[Anonymous Coward]

How do you know?

Ho do you know it didn't happen? It could all be a cover up by the Satan-controlled media.

[Filippo]

obviously, the prediction was correct

and we were just all left behind! :-P

[Anonymous Coward]

.According to Christianity

We're all filthy sinners so even by their own rules nobody could make the cut.

[ian 22]

R U Sure?

This may have been heaven all along.

In any case I call Apocalyptic Fail.

[Hooch181]

I am seriously...

put out by this.

I signed up for the "Post Rapture orgy and looting party"!

[Daniel 1]

You think you've got it bad

How do you think large portions of the Bush administration feel, now that they've discovered that they're actually going to have to live with the consequences of their "Pre-Rapture looting and orgy party"?

[Hooch181]

Lol...

Yeah, they did get an early start!

[John Smith 19]

@Hooch191

"I signed up for the "Post Rapture orgy and looting party"!"

Never mind. They'll be another one along in a bit.

2012 is almost just around the corner so plenty more EIN (end-is-neigh) nut jobs to come out of the woodwork.

[Roger Varley]

Only some are entitled.

Not everyone is guarenteed to be enraptured - only the select few. So, who isn't here today?

[Cazzo Enorme]

Re: Only some are entitled.

Perhaps that explains why my boss isn't in today ...

[Anonymous Coward]

re: Perhaps that explains why my boss isn't in today ...

either that or your workplace can be read about in - http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/ ;)

[Shonko Kid]

I find your lack of faith disturbing..

Perhaps the scale of the rapture is entirely dependent on the number of believers involved, as it will only be They Who Truly Believe that will experience it, as I understand it, the rest of us are left behind to look after the cats. If that is the case, then perhaps it did actually happen, but on such a overwhelming minor scale that no one noticed.

We have all been found wanting and God has left us. At least the two Steves are still here to keep us entertained.

[Michael Dunn]

@Shonko Kid

Yeah, remember the story of Lot and the cities of the plain. Lot kept tendering the possibility of finding 50 - 20 - 10 - 5 just men, so the the Lord would not destroy the cities, and failed, so only his family was saved (except the inevitably curious wife, of course.)

The rapture did happen, and the two truly believing good people were taken up, leaving the rest of us sinners here below. Wonder who they were? Certainly not Blair or Bush!

At least the Lord left the brewers here - Alleluia.

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought the best one...

Was the people explaning the lack of the end of the world by saying the delay was just one final test of their faith by God to make sure only the true believers were saved.

They're their own worst enemy, I tell ya.

[Elmer Phud]

God'sTannoy?

'Hello, hello. Is this thing working?

The Rapture due today has been delayed due to poor weather conditions in the USA.

Management apologise for the delays to the service and aim to get the uplift rescheduled for later.

A replacement bus service is in place provided by FourHorsemen transport.'

[Anonymous Coward]

To be honest,

I just feel sad for him. He really believed it so strongly, and his world must have fallen apart (and not in the way he wanted). And all his desperate followers, whose lives were such lacking in other meaning that they desperately had to believe in something, and really hoped for the Big Thing that would make it all worthwhile. I just hope they all manage to find meaning in something else and move on from it. It's all just so sad.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: To be honest,

I don't feel especially sad for him considering people have died or made themselves destitute because of his ravings.

[Steve Evans]

Oh the plus side...

They're aren't many fanatical follower of any teaching who have received such an obviously "Get a grip" slap round the chops, so maybe he might stop being quite such a loon.

Then again, he'll probably go completely postal now and go down in a hail of bullets whilst screaming "There is no god!!!! Muwahahahahaha" - He doesn't strike me as the kind of person who could just go quietly.

[MonkeyBot]

Re:, Re: To be honest,

So what?

They were idiots and we're far too toleranct of stupidity as it is.

[g e]

For sure

It's people like this that mean we ended up with safety labels saying 'WARNING: SHARP!' on knives and 'MAY CONTAIN NUTS' on bags of errr.. nuts

Remove the obvious safety warnings and let Darwin resume his course.

[John Smith 19]

@g e

You forgot "do not use this microwave oven to dry your pets in"

[Shakje]

Indeed...

it's kind of like saying you feel sorry for a mass murderer because he wasn't taken to heaven like he believed after 'purifying' the world. Just because he's possibly bonkers doesn't mean he deserves sympathy after effectively exploiting many people to the point of breaking. I do agree that if you have to believe this tripe then you probably have more problems though, so yes, I do feel sorry for the victims.

[Chris Thomas Alpha]

actually....

I'm happy they are destitute and potentially homeless, I find it very enlightening that natural selection is working and I hope to encounter less christians as a result of this episode.

anything that moves these idiots closer to their end and further from me, the better. we have suffered thousands of years of this idiocy, it's about time we shuffled them along a big...

we should predict many more and hope a few more shuffle along :)

[Sarah Bee]

Re: actually....

Why would that make you *happy*? For 'idiots' read 'vulnerable, probably damaged people who latched on to the wrong source of salvation'.

I'm just feeling a bit more christian-small-c today, I guess.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Perhaps

That was an amazing sentence at which I can only marvel.

[Michael Dunn]

Re:Perhaps

Yes, an amazing sentence - but what did it mean?

[Steven Roper]

Re: Perhaps

But the real question is, has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Michael Dunn]

Re:perhaps

Come again?

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow.

That has to be the longest thread I ever started. Thanks for feeling more sympathetic towards my point of view today Ms Bee. There do seem to be a lot of people here feeling highly uncharitable towards him and his unfortunate followers. Of course, he also makes me a little angry, and I am distressed that he has caused some people a lot of problems. But still, my over-riding feeling is just "sad". I don't think he actively wanted to cause trouble, and he was probably earnest in his preachings. I'm not a Christian, but I'm sure the bible would have something to say about being nice to him or something...

Oh, and- well done @Ken Snorker for invoking Godwin. Truly I feel my thread has been validated.

[Anonymous Coward]

Thank you Sarah

This guy is being treated as a harmless nutter when he is actually culpable for a great deal of distress and misery; and not just to his deluded followers, but to their friends and family (who may not be believers) who will have had to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Obviously I'm sure he'll be returning all those millions just as soon as the banks reopen.

[Peter Simpson 1]

There's a guestbook on his website

If he were a real Christian, he'd feel pretty awful about all the suffering he's caused with his silly prediction. Selling his media empire and doing something charitably worthwhile with the profits would go a long way towards balancing out all the bad karma he has accumulated.

// I bet he won't do that.

// I'd be very happy to be wrong.

[Andus McCoatover]

Might be a bit cruel on them

but the word "Darwin" springs readily to mind.

[John Angelico]

I haven't a scrap of sympathy for the defendant...

This raving nutter is a serial offender who has been exposed a couple of times already.

He is roundly condemned by most mainstream Christian denominations.

Don't give him any more media oxygen, or internet electrons!

[Oliver 7]

"people have died"

Candidates for the Darwin award? The irony is precious! ;-)

[Anonymous Coward]

Complicity?

Maybe some of them only believed his ravings because of the worldwide publicity he got.

[The Fuzzy Wotnot]

Well...

In a cruel twist of irony that's evolution at work, right there. He seriously believed in something that never came to pass. He will now most likely not believed next time he opens his mouth and thus his status in the great scheme of things has been demoted. The followers he had, will drift away and latch on to something else.

That's how evolution works to a certain extent, those who have traits not worthy of being useful to the continued survival of a species, will fall by the wayside.

[Marvin the Martian]

"will most likely not be believed next time"

Eh... RTFA: He predicted the same in 1994, and more believed him now than first time round. Being 89yold he probably hasn't many more dates to extract digitally-rectally (the chance that *he* wouldn't be around anymore on 21/05 was relatively high of course).

What I find bizarre in this all is the well-known line in the bible on the same topic saying that NOBODY except the Big Yin knows the dates involved in the endtimes (note: there's no rapture in the bible whatsoever; that's a Merrikan invention). So proposing a date implies equating yourself with God; such hubris (deadly sins and whatnot) would disqualify anybody from preaching you'd think?

[Jedit]

Clearly some people have not read the article

The same doofus predicted the Rapture would happen in 1994. People still believed him this time, and in numbers just as great.

[Naughtyhorse]

You could be excused for thinking that....

But all evidence suggests that each time one of these delusional fuckwits makes a bonkers prediction based on a 'scientific' examination of the bible (ffs) and the aforesaid a-crap-alyps fails to show up on the appointed date, the fervour of the sheeple is usually significantly enhanced.

What you need to remember is that the leader of these types is, by definition " hard of thinking" so imagine the depths of stupidity shown by his followers. scientoligists seem rational by comparason.

He'll spend a few weeks doing hard sums, then be back just as brazen, wrong headed, and mazed as before, and every bit as sure that then next date will be _the one_ as he was on the last 2 occasions.

and so it will continue until, either he's proved correct (unlikley in the extreme - lies to children notwithstanding) or until the acretion of egg on his face finaly suffocates him.

[John Miles]

re:. He will now most likely not believed next time he opens his mouth

You would think so - but it appears the reverse if often true

Well worth reading Prof. Richard Wiseman' "Paranormality: Why we see what isn't there" where he covers cults -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0230752985/ref=oss_product

[Anonymous Coward]

What bugs me the most...

...is the arrogance of the people.

We're going to heaven! You're not!

Do they have a different bible in USA?

[John G Imrie]

One of the advantages...

of their beliefs is that, if they are right, then I*know* I'm going to end up in Hell.

The upside of this is I'll be amongst an awful lot of people who thought that they wouldn't.

[AGirlFromVenus]

What bible?

Would that be the different bible written in Aramaeic (?) or Greek, or Coptic Egyptian or Arabic or whatever, that all are going to differ somewhat.

[copsewood]

@AGirlFromVenus - The Bible

Written in Hebrew (Old Testament) and Greek (New Testament, translating oral teachings originally mainly in Aramaic). Plus many translations into other languages, e.g. Latin, Arabic, English etc. Considering how many Trinitarian Christian churches in different places use it, the remarkable thing is how few disagreements over what it consists of exist.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_Canon

[Michael Dunn]

the different bible written in Aramaeic (?) or Greek, or Coptic Egyptian or Arabic

Wasn't there an American Televangelist who is quoted as having once said: "If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me."

One just cannot conceive of the ignorance of some of these people who set themselves up as leaders of the flock.

[Naughtyhorse]

different bible

fuck yeah!

[Anonymous Coward]

Do they have a different bible in USA?

Yes, didn't you know? Apart from the Book of Mormon, which is presumably a different Bible, most Merkins think they are the Chosen People. The fact that there were no Merkins in OT times seems to have passed them by.

Yeah, well, most of them are, aren't they?

[pikey]

it woudl have been funny..

If had 'popped' off at the appointed time, and his followers were left behind. :)

and how do you comfert the faithful followers you can't say

'Nevermind, it be allright, after all its not the end of the world you kno... oh'

[Michael Dunn]

Re: it would have been funny

Even more so, if all his followers had been taken up to heaven, and he alone left behind.

[Anonymous South African Coward]

Sola Scriptura

They obviously havent tried to back up their theory with Scripture.

Now a lot of people got egg on their face, no money and no jobs. Lovely.

[Shakje]

No, they have.

That Daniel prophecy is very useful for people predicting the end of the world. I have a large bet with an American that it will end in 2015 (I'm on the other side of the fence, obviously) based on the same prophecy.

The _ONLY_ reason I know this is because I have come across various people claiming it as a proof of fulfilled prophecy (and it's probably their strongest one when they throw it out there), once they've strung it through the numerology blender a few times of course.

[copsewood]

one sided bet

The other side of this must be an even bigger fool than anyone can imagine if he's offering to give you money if you win, while he won't be around to collect if he wins.

[Paul RND*1000]

Awesome!

"I have a large bet with an American that it will end in 2015 (I'm on the other side of the fence, obviously)"

Can we put this in the OED as the definition of "win-win"?

[Shakje]

To be fair

it's in escrow and if he gets raptured (should have been clearer, it's the rapture, not the end of the world) all the money goes into charitable organisations, presumably to help the poor sods who didn't get to live forever with a bunch of pompous twats.

[MrCheese]

Believers ridicule own faith - world bewildered

I just don't understand how so many who believe in god are so quick to believe in one man's random and provably dodgy prediction...and surely waiting around for it flogging all of your posessions and spending your savings merely renders the otherwise faithful guilty of the sin of self-righteousness (i.e. assuming you're one of the ones to be enraptured).

Religion comes under enough fire these days as it is without crackpots and the bafflingly naive making a mockery of their own fatih.

[Naughtyhorse]

religion, crackpots and the bafflingly naive

in my minds eye is a venn diagram, with all circles completely overlapping one another

[copsewood]

@MrCheese

"I just don't understand how so many who believe in god are so quick to believe in one man's random and provably dodgy prediction..."

Glad you used lower case for god there (which I take as subjective and misplaced), but given there are probably a couple of billion believers or so, you can expect a few dozen to be taken in by just about anything. Doesn't make the few who were taken in representative of anyone else. Perhaps you could find a UK denomination or any denomination of any size which were taken in ?

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_Christians_are_there_worldwide

[Michael Dunn]

one man's random and provably dodgy prediction

Think "dodgy dossier" a good majority of MPs must have believed it!

[hitmouse]

Family Radio website design

I see that their website was completely redesigned ( still a shitty 1990s look, but completely different to its predecessor) post-rapture. Were they so cynical about leaving that they scheduled a new site within 2 days of rapture fail?

[Steve Evans]

Re: Family Radio website design

Really? Looked the same to me, complete with the end of the world date still displayed.

I couldn't access it at all over the weekend, so assumed he'd only paid for his hosting in advance until 22nd, which would have made sense!

With his level of conviction I would have expected a date dependant change, so it would now be showing message normally reserved for the front bumpers of trucks, namely "If you can read this, you're f*cked".

[Tim 21]

2004 site

They seem to have removed the line but when I first saw the re-design it said "copyright 2004" at the bottom of the page so I guess they have rolled back to an old version of the site.

[LaeMing]

I am most disapointed...

...by the failure of velociraptors to return.

[sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD]

Honestly now...

Who needs raptors when you can have SSDs?

[Anonymous Coward]

not that im a believer but..

Didnt he claim it would only begin on the 21st and ultimately the world would end in october?

Apparently the volcano errupted at around 6pm on the 21st.

[Anonymous Coward]

You fail logic and rational thinking forever.

It's a big world. Lots of things happen at every hour of every day, even more if you're willing (as you are) to also count stuff that happens "around" any given hour.

The thing is, he didn't predict that there would be a volcano in Iceland and it would cause minor disruption to airspace traffic; he predicted that there would be earthquakes everywhere and it would cause the end of the world.

So no, he was just plain wrong, and it's pathetic of you to try so hard to find some kind of way in which he could somehow be seen, if you squint your eyes and wish real hard, to somehow be some sort of something like correct. You deserve to lose your life savings to a religious con-artist like this, it's gullible idiots like you who make it rewarding and worthwhile for these parasites to keep coming out with their bullshit predictions. You are an enabler, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

[JeepBoy]

Nope...

... the preacher predicted that a rolling wave of earthquakes would occur in each timezone at 6pm, and that the righteous would be "raptured" to heaven to sit a God's right hand.

The rest of us sinners (plus the cats!) would have to hang around until mid-October when God would destroy the Earth and put us out of our misery.

What a Cat-astophe!

Oh Noes. Will no-one think of the cats... erm, children

[Elmer Phud]

Thinking of the cats

So, they bugger off on an indefinite holiday and we're supposed to feed the cats?

[Chad H.]

Yes, But

On 21 May, Jesus was supposed to do his big reveal, and there were supposed to be rolling earthquakes that spread from the Date line, to the west, such that they always hit at 6pm local time. The streets are supposed to be filled with corpses like its a zombipocolypse.

None of these things are true.

[Anonymous Coward]

Good point...

...it's also been a bit windy here in Edinburgh since about 6pm on Saturday (well, more like 6am on Monday, but geologically speaking, that's pretty close).

[Andus McCoatover]

Time God got a watch...

Wikipedia: "On 21 May 2011 at 19:25 UTC, an eruption began"..

Reykjavik's on GMT=UTC.

That, by all standards was the apocalyptic equivalent of a wee fart.

[Patrick R]

Keep this article

For you can post it again in december 2012.

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

I did lose a pen last Saturday

maybe it has gone to heaven?

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually

According to Douglas Adams, there is a perfectly rational science based explanation. They disappear through a wormhole to a planet inhabited by Biro life forms to enjoy a stimulating Biroid lifestyle. Mumbo jumbo doesn't enter into it.

http://bit.ly/lobsmC

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

As I know well,

I even met a guy who worked a while as a driver for a couple of cheap green biros.

Alien, because, well, pens are aliens.

[S Larti]

Ah, religion!

Exploiting the gullible since the year dot!

[Sarah Davis]

Rapture rupture

the end of the world got cancelled due to reality and a severe lack of gods

[Anonymous Coward]

but there is cause for hope

it seems it is possible, even in these financially straightened times, for a gullible moron to amass not inconsiderable life savings. Praaaaaaise deeeee Lorddddddddddd.

[Anonymous Coward]

it DID happen!!

We lost Bill Hunter, now the Australian film industry has NOBODY to cast, seems like a sure sign of the rapture to me.

RIP big guy, thanks for everything.

[petur]

@LaeMing

You can have my velociraptors when I replace them with SSDs

[Anonymous Coward]

Jesus loves me..

But Aphrodite puts out .

[TeeCee]

Rapture timetable.

Maybe they're just having some staffing or technical issues and when he predicts the next one, three will turn up at once?

[jonathanb]

I just think he got it completely wrong

The story of Noah's ark says he will send the rains in 7 days time.

Paul's 2nd epistle, written a few thousand years later says "one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years like one day".

He therefore concludes that the end of the world comes 7000 years after noah's ark, despite the fact that the flood (probably the end of the last ice age) has already happened. But he could just as easily concluded that the world will come to an end 1.65 seconds after noah's ark.

His get out will be that nobody knows for sure when exactly noah's ark happened, and with the changes from lunar to solar calendar, together will all the changes in leap year rules and so on, pinning down the exact anniversary is not an exact science.

Of course, only true believers were to be swept up, maybe there aren't any.

[Chris Miller]

The sad thing is

The media pick up on the random mutterings of what is effectively a lone nut job (OK, with his own radio station) and amplify them across the world, where a small minority of desperate, deluded individuals choose to follow them. 100 years ago, this would have been just one local hellfire and damnation preacher who would have got a few people in his local town worked up and then have been booted out when Armageddon failed to turn up on time.

This isn't mere harmless entertainment for the rest of us (though I'm happy to join in with the jeering). Look at that other nut job in Florida (with a congregation of - count them - 20) who threatened to burn the Koran and managed to be amplified into unrest across the Muslim world.

I don't like Mondays <sigh>

[Muscleguy]

NO!

Lone nutter with a radio station spends several million dollars and possibly more to buy advertising over as much of the planet as they can reach. Also sending out missionaries to spread the world in places like Turkey. This wasn't a media beat up, it was a genuine phenomenon which the media duly reported, while sniggering appropriately.

[AndrewT]

It never caeses to amaze

How these so called prophets get it wrong every time...

When is the world going to learn about these religious crackpots??!? Religion, irrespective of a chosen faith causes more problems than it solves; personally I hope that everyone who has lost everything sues the ass off him.

[Anonymous John]

He spoke to the press yestrday.

http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/articles/150004/20110523/false-doomsday-prophet-harold-camping-ive-got-to-live-with-it-video.htm

No explanation yet.

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually it did all happen as predicted

However, the deity involved (who can only be known by the initials XDR) has taken out a superinjunction to prevent anyone reporting about it - apparently it would breach his right to privacy.

[ravenviz]

Re: Actually it did all happen as predicted

So God is male now?

[adnim]

Mathematical error

Perhaps the good preacher used imaginary numbers in his calculations.

[Canecutter]

Re: Mathematical Error

"Perhaps he used imaginary numbers in his calculations."

Yeah. like Eleventeen.

[Anonymous Coward]

Delays, Delays, Delays

I suppose the arrival of the "Big escalator to the heavens" could be a delay. As Amazon demonstrated not too long ago, even cloud infrastructure can have capacity problems.

[Elmer Phud]

Busy, busy

They hadn't finished construction all the millions of 'God's RightHand' accomodation blocks.

[TRT]

Well I used his formula...

and came out with a date around 2,550,000CE

*puts Toxic on iPod Jukebox*

[Anonymous IV]

Hymn (all sing together)

"We are the pure and chosen few,

And all the rest are damned.

There's room enough in hell for you --

We don't want heaven crammed."

[Dave 126]

Robert Camping is very wealthy

to the tune of about $70 million.

[TeeCee]

Re: Robert Camping is very wealthy

Hmm, he's not noticed the small print about camels and needles then?

[LaeMing]

Well,

he didn't notice the bit about the Rapture being totally unpredictable and unnanounced, so...

[Fluffykins]

You don't NEED titles in the Afterlife.

Yay, Apocalypse HAS happened an' we're all in the doo doos.

At least I think so. I'm pretty sure this isn't my usual office I'm sat in. I'm almost certain it's hell with fluorescent lighting.

[hplasm]

Sounds like my office-

Nothing has changed here...

hellish

[Anonymous Coward]

Adding an IT angle...

The Oatmeal has a good take on this:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/rapture

[Anonymous Coward]

Masochism

Given his penchant for repeated self inflicted mega fail in his day job, you have to wonder how he winds down in the evening. Painful, biblical and probably illegal in a number of red states, I'd imagine.

[Pete 43]

He shouldn't feel too bad

Even the "Big J" fella got it wrong....

[Anonymous Coward]

At least one person was taken!

www.facebook.com/pages/Where-has-Jo-Freddie-gone/146590562079394

Jo Freddie, a devout Pastafairian, vanished on the 21st May @ 6pm while eating pasta and drinking beer, a little while later a volcano goes off in Iceland, this is surly a sign!

He is still missing!

Pirate Icon as The Pirates are The Chosen People of Our Lord Noodle

[Anonymous Coward]

Class Action Required

For fraudulently misleading the mentally incompetent.

In March 2011 he'd renewed his domain for four more years.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmmm...

I feel a new game coming-on; AfterLife 2, the CubeFarm..

[Martin Maloney]

What about the left-behind pets?

Good ol' American entrepreneurship stepped up to fill the void. Businesses sprouted up, all over the USA, offering to take care of the left-behind pets, for a fee.

It occurred to me that, if a person named Ken were to offer such a service, then his motto would be "Ken'll care for your pets."

In response to the above from me, slatsz, a poet friend of mine, composed the following:

Kennel Kare

Sinful Ken

Won’t be captured by the rapture.

Have no regrets

Ken’ll care for all your pets.

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe the rapture did happen

... but nobody was good enough to be raptured.

Or maybe that's what happens when cats go missing. They've been raptured off to kitty heaven.

[sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD]

Dolphins.

Dolphins, I tell you! Where are they now?

[Andy Miller]

Just a question of numbers

It did happen, but only the meek have gone. Do the meek host evangelical radio stations or appear in the papers? No! You haven't noticed them yet, but all those little vital jobs that they quietly got on with aren't being done.

[EvilGav 1]

According . . .

. . . to Revelations, there are only to be a total of 144,000 souls going to Heaven.

This includes all the angels, cherubim, seraphim etc etc, ad nauseum.

The number of earth-bound souls is > 10,000.

Given that the total number of homo sapiens that have ever existed is in the order of 10,000,000,000, the odds are less than 1,000,000 : 1 that you would actually be one of the chosen.

In fact, the numbers are so low, that the Rapture may have happened, but due to the mathematics no-one has noticed the few thousand world-wide that went missing on Saturday!!

[LaeMing]

Good point

though we probably would be noticing being eaten by ravenous beasts by now.

[Jeff Cook]

@EvilGav 1

Apparently you haven't read the bible either. The 144000 thousand in Revelation refers to the numebr of Jews (12000 from each tribe) who will be gathered (post-rapture) to witness to the world during the last 3.5 years before the final battle of Armegeddon[sp?]. It's not that hard of a read, why do so many people insist on taking things out of context?

Fail icon for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous Coward]

Simple explanation

"I can't tell you what I feel right now. Obviously, I haven't understood it correctly because we're still here."

Obviously, you haven't understood anything correctly because you're an idiot. This theory also explains a lot more stuff you might have been pondering about.

[Anonymous John]

End of the world predictions to end in 2015

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/05/22/end-of-the-world-predictions-to-end-in-2015/

[Z80]

Somebody did think of the animals.

I heard one guy in the US made a bit of money by offering a service to look after the pets left behind if their owners were raptured. No refunds, natch.

[Anonymous Coward]

What bewilders me is how such a learned scholar of the bible...

...seems to have completely missed the bit which says something like "you will know neither the day nor the hour" (Matthew 25:13, according to the internets).

[jonathanb]

You can find it here

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PVY.HTM

But be warned that that is from the Catholic Church, and most of these types think the Pope is the Anti-Christ.

[John I'm only dancing]

Bloody big hole in all religious loony arguments

All these merkan preachers etc, say only the pious will be saved. But surely all that is trumped by the Jesus easter thing, dieing for our sins so everyone goes to heaven anyway, so you can be as wicked as you like if your christian.

Personally, anyone believing in a supreme being should be locked away in a dark room for the rest of their lives and leave the rest of us to get on with things unencumbered.

[LaeMing]

Believing isn't enough

You have to "let him into your heart" which excludes most people who put "Christian" or its varients on their census then go about their self-serving little lives. Christians who actually live by Christ's teachings (all of them, not just a few they cherry-picked because they are easy or convenient) are very few and far between and are the only ones I have any respect for.

[The Jay]

Regardless!

Ok, so the Rapture didnt happen... But I had a great time on Saturday. I made sure I was sinning from start to finish. If it's going to happen, may as well have fun.

Honestly, it amazes me that anyone still takes religious ramblings seriously anymore. And it's true as has been stated already, the media is the only reason it became so heard about.

I like it though, as far as generations surviving apopalypse goes, our generation is doing pretty bloody well! Campings first Rapture, Millenium Bug threatening to nuke the world, I'm sure there was another apocalypse in the early 2000's, we've just had Campings second attempt, and soon to have the Mayan 2012 disaster.

Good job everyone! Keep dodging your own annihilation! ;)

[NoneSuch]

Romans 16, 17-18

Nuff said.

[g e]

Now why....

... aren't the other religions who DON'T have have any amageddon planned last Saturday take this as irrefutable proof that THEY are correct and proof that Christianity is crazyfoojibberjabber

They're missing a big marketing opportunity imho

[jonathanb]

because

99.9999999999999% of Christians didn't think there was going to be an armageddon on Saturday, or any time soon.

It is settled science that the world will come to an end at some point, either when the sun burns out, or we go the way of the dinosaurs.

[ratfox]

Not quite

From what the articles say, at least 3 people believed it. There are less than 3 billions Christians in the world. So no more than 99.9999999% of Christians didn't think there was going to be an Armageddon on Saturday – instead of 99.9999999999999% like you claimed.

If you use science as argument, obey it!

[Loyal Commenter]

Actually,

I heard from various media sources (I know!) that several million believed it, so that would make it more like 99.9%, much scarier to think about, although what that translates to is roughly one in a htousand already deluded people is further deluded...

[S Watts]

Maybe it did...

...and all the most devout believes have been replaced by evil doppelgängers.

Would explain why Monday morning feels like I'm in purgatory...

[Jay 12]

and thats why the rapture is....

BULLSHIT!

/pennandteller

[Schultz]

It happened in Berlin

Just on a small scale: The train service broke down and now the suffering of all nonbelievers begins! (http://www.tagesspiegel.de/berlin/verkehr/).

Be patient, God will get around to your area too, eventually ... what did you think, that he was all-powerful or something?

[Alan 43]

the rapture is in the bible just not when

You would think a full time pastor would read his bible - whilst the likes of 1 Theselonians 4, Mark 13 & Matthew 24 talk of the rapture they also say things like `But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.` and `Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning:`

[ici.chacal]

Mor(m)ons...

The religious folks who believe in these extreme prophecies are really no different from those who believe that they will receive 70 virgins in paradise if they blow themselves up. The sooner the human race can eradicate religion of all flavours, the sooner we can all get on with concentrating on more useful activities, like figuring out for ourselves what the universe is all about...

[Chris Seiter]

We were saved!!

Macho Man Randy Savage died for us. He stopped the rapture from happening by dropping an elbow from the top ropes onto Jesus. In the name of the tassles, the sparkles, and the glasses; OH YEAH!!

[Peter Fox]

They're all at this upgrade wheeze

To get extra features and address some security issues please upgrade to Bible 2.0.

[ ] Tick to agree to privacy policy : God knows everything yet is strangely ineffable himself.

[Mark Serlin]

Dammit

Our local faith school is *still* going to be tough to get into then. I was hoping the over-subscription would ease up quite a bit.

[Anonymous Coward]

Next up, The Mayans!!!

Their calendar comes to an end and the world goes "kablooie" next year.

Of course, I take the 1500-years-in-the-future-end-of-the-world predictions of of a culture that couldnt even see their own demise 1000+ years ago with a giant grain of salt.

[Svantevid]

@ Marketing Hack

"Their calendar comes to an end and the world goes "kablooie" next year."

---

Errrm... as the Mayans themselves are quick to point out - yes, seven million or so Mayans still live today - their calendar doesn't come to an end... just one of their eras, like our own Age of Pisces ended and the Age of Aquarius began.

[John Smith 19]

Truly a great opportunity missed.

Just think.

Getting so many *chronically" gullible people in 1 place.

The opportunities could have been *endless*

[Anonymous Coward]

The Bible says twice

Mt 24:36 and Mk 13:32 that no-one knows the date/time of "these things", not angels nor "the Son" but "only the Father".

So anyone claiming "to know" isn't telling the truth. If angels and even "the Son himself" aren't being told why any particular person.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hope ur trolling

And it also say's this will be the last generation (over 100 generations ago) - or maybe it meant generations of bristle-cone pines (that live for 1000s of years), or Suns - so we only get one - or badgers?

And it say's not to plant trees - because there won't be time for them to grow (generations of trees ago).

And say's not to sleep with your wife - cos the end is so near.

Face it, the bible said the world would end long long ago, and it didn't.

Give it a rest.

[LaeMing]

I believe the official get-out at the time

was that God thought we were so sinful that he gave us an extension.

Convenient, that.

[RobotSheep]

I wouldn't be caught dead with his God!

First of all if he truly believes his own words,he should give me his money now so someone might do some good for others in THIS life with it. Secondly I would not be going with that bunch of flock because apperantly his God lacks the compassion to help ALL people. So I wouldn't be caught dead with his God!

[JadedIdealist]

Dolphins

We didn't notice it because only trained theme park dolphins got raptured,

that's right

it was for entertainment porpoises only.

[Dick Emery]

In other news...

...Debbie Harry (Via the Record Industry Ass of America) is sueing him for copyright theft.

[David 45]

Nothing to say

Well, I have really but lots of folk have beaten me to it. This man Camping is a danger to all humanity and should be locked up with the key conveniently lost. He has incited families to split and, in one case, a poor deluded mother to attempt to murder her kids and commit suicide. In short, he is a total and utter nutter who should be excluded from this world - somewhere miles from civilisation where he would be totally unable to push his influence on the sad and vulnerable people who seem to suck this stuff in like some sort of drug.

[Anonymous Coward]

Never mind Mr Camping

It's not the end of the world.

[Zippy the Pinhead]

what I would love to see

I would love to see his followers sue him now!

[Zippy the Pinhead]

I always find it funny

That people believe this guy and anyone else who has visions of a religious nature... but if they are voices we call them insane and medicate them.

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait ...

"His first effort named 6 September 1994 as the big day" - Posted in Bootnotes, 23rd May 2011 10:00 GMT

"True, they had to unpack again back in September 2004 following Camping's first shot at naming the big day" - Posted in Bootnotes, 17th May 2011 09:20 GMT

[Anonymous Coward]

By the way....

Since I work in the software industry and the world is not yet coming to an end, time for all you jokers to renew your maintenance!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(Now I will get back to my product lifecycles, I'm way behind since we were going to

end-of-life everything on May21st!!!)

[LaeMing]

Guys! Stop! You're killing me!

I swear, one more guffaw and I will RUPTURE something!

[alwarming]

"...I think his pages must have stuck together in his copy of the Bible..."

Erm... That must be the Garden of Eden chapter.

(quote is from the abcnews link).

[Allan George Dyer]

I'm surprised...

that Camping didn't just do a runner with the money, and left his followers believing that he ALONE was raptured (is that a word?).

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

$140k poster campaign

This.

[Ropewash]

If you're going to accurately predict the end....

Have your finger on the button already.

[Martin Maloney]

"an invisible judgment day"

Saturday was "an invisible judgment day" in which a spiritual judgment took place, he said. But the timing and the structure is the same as it has always been, he said.

"We've always said May 21 was the day, but we didn't understand altogether the spiritual meaning," he said. "May 21 is the day that Christ came and put the world under judgment."

Radio host now says Judgment Day coming in October

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43140373/?gt1=43001

* * * * *

We all knew that Camping would invent some explanation, and now the mystery is solved. However, I consider it likely that he had already come up with that explanation, prior to the (non)event.

Given that there have been no media reports of the sighting of Christ on that date, are we to assume that the invisible Christ came (never mind) and conducted the invisible judgment day?

And, yes, I am having way too much fun with this!

[Nameless Faceless Computer User]

This is The End

As the great prophet Jim Morrison once spoke, "The future's uncertain and the end is always near."

[Sam Therapy]

Religious nutter gets it wrong

And in other news, grass is green, water is wet.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mis-spelling

Perhaps he misread Rupture.