back to article Huge fat pipe squirts mighty streams

An allied team of boffins based in Blighty, Germany, Switzerland and Israel say they have broken the record for data transmission rate from a single light source, using just one laser to send info at a blistering 26 terabits per second. "To the best of our knowledge, this is the largest line rate ever encoded onto a single …


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  1. James Boag


    Just what kind of pervert would try to transmitt the entire Library of Congress collections, I do worry about El Reg Readership

    1. It wasnt me
      Thumb Down

      and why.......

      ..... are the BBC using an American unit of bandiwth? WTF is wrong with British National Libraries per second? WTF is the library of congress, for that matter?

      1. Danny 14


        Isnt congress in Tipperary, Ireland? Perhaps it has a library.

  2. Alister

    Reg units

    I think the Reg unit of bandwidth for data transfer should be the Bodleian, much easier to type than the "British National Library" or the "Library of Congress".

    Incidentally, is the Library of Congress like a very big Kama-Sutra?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Congress is Kama-sutra?

      ...well, they're flexible enough to stick their heads up their own arses, and shaft multiple people at once in a multitude of creative ways, so yes - Congress *is* well versed in Kama-Sutra - enough to have their own library in it.

  3. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    Re: WTF is the library of congress?

    Sounds like the smutty DVD collection referred to in the article.

    1. DrJaymansLoveCookie

      Re: Re: WTF is the library of congress?

      It was a typo in the article, what he meat to write was "Library Of Congers"

  4. Marky W

    34.9 kilowrists

    You did the rounding wrong (although pity the poor chap who gets the 0.9, frustrated in the closing moments...)

  5. Mike Richards

    Smut hose? kilowrist?

    Well done Lewis for translating boring boffinry into everyman terminology. And to think it's only Monday, you should be in fine form come Thursday.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    What's that in Kleenex per hour?

    1. Disco-Legend-Zeke

      Actual Data...

      ...based on viewing times for soft core pay-per-view in hotel rooms:

      13.5 minutes average viewing time. Assuming higher quality pr0n on this super electronic pathway lets round down to 10 minutes.

      So every 10 minutes would require 34K tissues, ignoring wankers using a sock or underwear for the final absorbancy. Heavy loads might not only require extra capacity, but probably need less time so that should average out.

      Let's call it about 200,000 per hour. (YMMV.)

      This requires funding for additional study.

      1. Steven Raith
        Thumb Up

        That's over 28,500 WPM

        Walls per minute.

        Do the math and work out which ones.


        Steven R

  7. The Dark Lord
    Thumb Up

    Nice to see...

    ... that on a day where I myself am having difficulty stringing sentences together, Lewis has no trouble with the mot juste.

    "Smut hose". Funniest thing I've read in a long while.

  8. Annihilator Silver badge


    Good SI unit, but potential problems regarding accuracy - it makes the assumption that everything is a single-wrist job where I would presume there are some double-wrist actions going on across the country. I can't claim I'd fall into that category sadly, but I'm sure some do.

    Plus, in today's PC world, you have to assume a certain amount of kilobeanflicks for every stream broadcast. Some may also only be watching for purely artistic merit, and account for no kilowrist or kilobeanflicks.

    Some further detective work required I think, must switch private browsing mode on and continue...

    1. Steven Roper

      Re: Kilowrists

      You're forgetting that besides those watching for "artistic merit", the double-wristers are also compensated for on average by the "look Mum no hands!" mattress- and pillow-humping crowd, who don't use their wrists at all. Over all, it most likely comes out at an average of 1 wrist per individual smut hose, so the kilowrist is a valid unit within measurable accuracy.

  9. Anonymous Coward


    Even if this reached production and was to-the-home speeds, BT will still traffic shape you down to 2k/sec on Torrent though...

    The bunch of...

  10. Anonymous Coward


    Since the Library of Congress and the British Library are both expanding institutions (new works are added every day), it is impossible to use them as a measue of volume.

  11. Alan Esworthy
    Thumb Up

    Reg units

    For the uninitiated, the Reg kilowrist unit is the bandwidth required to transmit 1,000 simultaneous uncompressed 720x480 video streams.

    Hey, Sarah - Would you be so kind as to ask the El Reg PTB to consolidate the various articles containing your brilliant measurement units in one piece and link to it on the Odds and Sods page? TIA

    (Thumb Up icon as it is the only upstanding extremity image offered, thank goodness.)

    1. Chris Lowe


      Can anyone tell me how many megatits there are in a kilowrist?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More Easily Pictured...

    Since distances and volumes are more easily pictured when trying to compare quantities, I'd recommend using the "production" for each Wrist unit. Since that is, on average, 5ml, such a magnificent laser could produce 174 liters of "product" per second.

    For further help visualizing, that is roughly equivalent to six fire hoses.

    I'm very sorry for posting this. Just not enough not to.

  13. Eddy Ito

    Library of anti-progress

    Perhaps the reference to the library of congress was to imply that only special people will actually be able to really use it. Then again can even the Congress' appetite for porn stretch to the bounds of this chasm. Sadly I'm probably underestimating the ability of Congress to suck the ocean dry.

  14. IvyKing

    Optical Fourier Transform?

    Sounds suspiciously like a prism or diffraction grating.

  15. mhenriday

    Given the pace at which Mr Cameron et consortes are dismantling the NHS

    (, Mr Page might be advised not to delay seeking treatment for his sexual hangups....


  16. Anonymous Coward

    Thank God - just in time..

    .. for all those Windows 7 patches heading for a Moron Near You..

    The one with the "how to make friends" book in the pocket, thanks.

  17. Graham Bartlett

    I suggest a different unit of measurement

    The kilobed.

  18. Andy Mc


    Uncompressed 1080p isn't 746Mbps. 1080p runs at 2.85Gbps... (e.g. 2640 x 1080 x 20b x 50Hz)

    Mine's the one with the 3G-SDI to HDMI converter in the pocket.

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