back to article Who's nicked Vaz's fondleslab?

Keith Vaz, MP for Leicester East and chair of the Home Affairs Committee, is outraged that some scrote has nicked an iPad and actual, real laptop from his offices. No word on whether the office was locked or not but Vaz is outraged at the lack of security, according to the Beeb. He said a "more robust approach" to security was …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    What do you Expect?

    The bloody place is full of Thievs!

  2. philbo

    I guess he'll just have to make do

    ..with a homoeopathic iPad.

    Couldn't have happened to a nicer chap.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The Miracle of Science

      This is a brilliant way of saving on expenses. Just take an item known to cause the same symptoms as not having an iPad - which pseudo-science can easily show to be a tomato - and dilute it to one part in a trillion. Hey presto, iPads for all politicians and civil servants and all it takes is one very large batch of extremely weak tomato juice.

      Form a committee to plan the operation and it should only cost around 3 or 4 billion quid.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Blame Nick Clegg

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lost Property

    Don't these things usually go missing on trains? At least this saved the tax-payers a train fare (which is rather pricey these days, I believe..!)

  5. Select * From Handle
    Thumb Up

    i agree.

    "No word on whether the office was locked or not but Vaz is outraged at the lack of security, according to the Beeb. He said a "more robust approach" to security was needed."

    I Agree Vaz!

    Fire you and employ someone who can look after expensive gadgets that have been given to you via the tax payers pocket. not to mention the data that has been lost on said gadgets.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I can see the point with the Ipad.

      What with it being small and easy to lift.

      But you should be able to leave your laptop at your workplace and have it still be there the following day. Why should you have to lug your tools home when you know fine they're not going to be used?

      Ok, if the office does have a klepto knocking about then I'd expect my employer to get me a Kensington lock, but I don't think it's unreasonable to not have to kart stuff around and be responsible for it when you don't need it.

  6. spillage


    Wonder if anyone has checked his ebay accont..He has to find some way to buy new furniture...Not that I'm suggesting a politician can be crooked...That would just be wrong..

  7. Anonymous Coward

    Oh dear - what a tragedy.

    I imagine it's one of the probably several dozen he's already charged to Uncle Sucker the taxpayer (again probably cos he may sue).

    Never mind I imagine kindly old Uncle Sucker will pay for another one.

    No honour amongst the 646 thieves is there.

  8. Anonymous Coward


    Proof that those in power are bunch of liars and thieves....

    ...not that we didn't already know that anyway...

    Grenade, cos most of them deserve one up their arse!

  9. T0ny


    "nicked an iPad ..."

    Which will no doubt become 6 iPads by the time he has finished filling out his insurance claim form.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Perhaps the best solution...

    Would be to transfer the running of the Palace of Westminster to Her Majesty's Prison Service and make sure all the "criminals" are locked away safely...

    As far as running the country, I'm sure it will take care of itself (or at least not go to pot as quickly as it would with most of the muppets from the last 25 years)....

  11. The First Dave

    More Robust Security

    So he wants all MPs to be searched whenever they leave the building? Or just everyone else...

  12. Martin 47

    Chin up, jog on

    Some nicked something from one of the thieving barstewards?

    Oh dear, what a shame

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No robust approach needed

    Just get a Xoom instead. No thieves would want to steal it then.

    What's that, no software? Well there's Angry Birds, what else does an MP need?

  14. Steve Evans

    Would this be?

    Would this be the Same Keith Vaz who claimed £75,000 in expenses for a flat twelve miles commute from his home?

    If so I hope we didn't pay for his Apple tea tray too!

  15. Anonymous Coward

    Has he reported

    Any data loss to the information commissioner?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    " so skint they're forced to nick each others' iPads and laptops"

    Nah - they're probably just busy ebaying them and then claiming they've been nicked to get new ones, going by their previous form.

  17. M Gale


    Isn't that the school of "medicine" that dictates you should take a poison, dilute it down thousands of times and this somehow becomes more potent the more you dilute it?

    Makes about as much sense as Scientology, then.

    1. Winkypop Silver badge


      He's an obvious idiot for believing in such utter tosh.

  18. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    someone tried to 'skim' the iPad across the thames to St Thomas's.

    As for the Laptop, that's on its way to thay mysterious place where things like navel fluff goes. ITs called 'god knows where'

    However MP's Laptops get special treatment. Their encrypted HDD's are decrypted and all the PRON made public.

    All the classified stuff goes in the bin. The NOTW knows about it already as don't they have a tap on every MP's & Celeb's phones by now. Voicemail hacking is so 2000's.

    Paris coz she wouldn't be caught losing her lap to a top like Vaz like that.

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Check out your work collegues...

    ... Keithy. Like you, a large proportion have been shown as being thieves and fraudsters, and a few have actually gone to jail (as you should have). If you had any common sense you would bolt everything down in your current work environment - you are stupid for not doing so.

  20. HW de Haan


    Maybe some should inform mister Vaz that he is among politicians.

  21. Alan B


    That is all!

  22. Rhod
    Jobs Halo

    The iPad's been removed from Vaz

    ...would that mean that the iPad's had a Vazectomy?

  23. Andy J

    Scotland Yard

    In fact the Norman Shaw buildiing - old home of the Metropolitan Police - was known as just plain 'Scotland Yard'. New Scotland Yard is the building the MPS now occupies on Broadway, just off Victoria Street.

  24. Ray 8


    Standard practise in the private sector is to secure the laptop to the desk using a kensington lock for his laptop as for his fondleslab check MI5 as they will be downloading the log files to check where he has been.

  25. Will 28

    Kensington Locks - of little use

    Kensington must have a few of their marketting dudes posting in these comments. The things are nigh on useless. It is well known that you can open them with a piece of cardboard in a few seconds. I know this to be true because I had to do it when I lost the key to one.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Or ...

    Maybe he just doesn't want to admit he left them on a train.

  27. JohnG


    As a socialist, not doubt comrade Vaz is happy that wealth is being redistributed from the bourgeoisie amongst the proletariat.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    Was it encrypted?

    He is Chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee.

    Was it encrypted? Hope so.

  29. pctechxp

    Those expensies have to be repaid somehow

    And definitely not from that pile of cash they nicked from us.

    That's right, you remember don't you? You work for us, not the other way round as you'd like to think.

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