EXPLODING MELONS terrify Chinese The Chinese authorities are probing a sudden and alarming outbreak of exploding melons, amid suspicions that a 'growth promoter' may be to blame for huge numbers of juicy fruits unexpectedly going bang. According to the BBC, farmers in Jiangsu province have reported the destruction of substantial watermelon assets. Twenty …
This appears to confirm suspicions that Lester is working on a reboot of the Carry On franchise. After all its about the only one left given Hollywood's current obsession with reinventing the wheel and gilding the lily.
Ooooo Matron....
Paris - because clearly he'll be needing a modernised version of "our Babs".
I'm working up a treatment for "Carry on Charlie" - Katy Perry does a Babs Windsor exploding bra stunt in a hilarious romp with Mexico's Zeta drugs cartel in the remote jungle village of Mucho Campo. A CGI Kenneth Williams plays comedy Latino police chief Enrique Pito Grande attempting to rescue Paris Hilton's chihuahua from the clutches of Russell Brand's sinister cocaine baron El Biggo. Lindsay Lohan cameos as Brand's assassin sidekick Rehabilitada, bowing out early when she ill-advisedly poses as a New York hotel maid and tries to break into the room of international money launderer Dominique Strauss-Kahn (Tommy Lee Jones in top comedic form is a worthy heir to the Sid James throne).
Any Hollywood producers out there? Let's do lunch...
The item of clothing you have to shoehorn into an engorged melon line would be a bra.
Trousers would be for... cucumbers, I suppose.
Better puns, and a cleverly manufactured link to the Chelsea Charms article expected, next time you do an exploding melons piece
I live in China. I consider it is plausible that some kind of chemical growth enhancer has been used because China, under the encouragement of the World Bank, embraced capitalist ideas without many of the checks and balances for safety that even the USA have. So many of its people here have grasped the idea that unrestrained acquisition of money is best, and will use many techniques to bring that about. The maxim "Caveat Emptor" should be written large and often on any advice for people wanting to buy things from China. However, they are only doing what the USA and the World Bank wanted them to do. Nevertheless, there is crucial omitted information in the stories that I can supply and confirm from living here: In the provinces the exploding melons have been reported, there have been some shortages of water, because of the lack of rain. This has become severe at times. About 2 weeks ago, a new weather pattern swept over these areas bringing sometimes large amounts of rain. So, the exploding melons could plausibly be just have happened because of the previous drought period keeping them small, yet hardening their skins. The rain then comes along, and the melons attempt to swell, putting the skind under pressure. Given that the varieties of melons might be prone to splitting anyway, I think this is a very plausible competing explanation for the exploding melons, though I have no doubt, some sources may be happy to emphasize the "nasty chemical additives" story to try to hold back any economic success. (The USA may have been happy that China adopted capitalist ideas, but they didn't want them to be more successful than they were themselves, and now may resent it!)
Forchlorfenuron doesn't fall under 'nasty chemical additive' here. We use it on grapes in the US. The catch is that it should only be used when the plants are very young, on any type of fruit. From what I've read elsewhere the farmers having this trouble are mostly new to growing watermelons (having jumped on the watermelon bandwagon when prices skyrocketed) and didn't realize that.
It doesn't really matter whether Forchlorfenuron is a "nasty chemical additive" here or not: what matters is the way in which it is portrayed by the media and other parties who may wish to label it like that for their own reasons: the media, because such sensationalist stories can often boost sales, and the other people, because they may want to frighten people off (the media may be part of this other group as well) I must say your message read rather oddly in the way the first two sentences were juxtaposed: it might give people the impression that, as an illustration that Forchlorfenuron is not a "nasty chemical additive", you can offer up the observation that it is used on grapes in the USA. I do not think that necessarily follows, but this is only a quibble. My main point remains that whether or not the chemical is a "nasty chemical additive" or not, the media can sway people's opinions greatly, and it has been portrayed as perhaps being nasty by some of them, and if you believe it is not, you have to wonder why.
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
