back to article Nude Florida man in gunfight with police SWAT robot

A naked Florida man sent a police SWAT robot fleeing from his home after opening fire on the tin cop with an AK-47 assault rifle. The heavily armed indoor nudist had become the subject of police attention as he was known to possess "several guns" and to have stated that he was suicidal, as well as offering threats. "He said …


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  1. Fuzz

    Come quietly or there will be trouble.

    Queue the robocop quotes.

    1. Anonymous Coward



      1. M Gale


        Give it a day or two for the commentards, the guy might be right after all.

      2. Fuzz


        I definitely meant queue as in

        "to arrange (data, jobs, messages, etc.) into a queue."

        but thanks all the same :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Robocop quote

      "Bitches - Leave!"

      Is that good enough?

    3. '); DROP TABLE comments; --

      OK, I'll do it...

      "Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply."

      1. Scorchio!!

        @'); DROP TABLE comments; --

        "I'm not arresting you anymore".

  2. paulf

    That's really cheered up my Monday

    I was reading that over my tea break - not so much coffee on keyboard as apple over the table.

    Now if the SWAT Robot had limped back and got his big brother with the death laser (and perhaps a BOFH circular saw modification for good measure) - that would have been interesting as the speaker crackles to life and says to the nudie gun slinger that "all appendages are legitimate targets"...

  3. BorkedAgain

    Me, I liked...

    "...without further enpopment of caps on asses..."

    Big ol' smiles for that one...

  4. matt 83

    this is England.

    more news on the dog please!

  5. Craig 28


    So it's standard procedure to send cops in alone without any kind of backup? That's the only way I'd imagine it could save a life for certain, or even in probability.

    As to the article, 9/10 for the writing. I was cracking up.

  6. Jess--

    it saved a life?

    I like the way they claim that it saved a life, we can never be sure how the gunman would have reacted to another human (clothed or unclothed)

    all we know for sure is that he decided to use a robot as target practice

  7. Clive Galway


    He knew the RotM was coming, and the unannounced entrance of a bot into his bedroom prompted him to defend himself.

    This man should be held up as a shining beacon of hope - without more like him, when the day comes we are all surely doomed.

    1. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD


      If wall-e came thru' your bedroom door unannounced what would you do?

  8. Anonymous Coward

    Not good

    I for one am unimpressed with our new wimpy robot overlords who were defeated by a nekkid redneck.

  9. defiler

    Poor robot!

    It only had 2 days before retirement...

    1. Colin Miller

      XKCD cartoon for every occasion

  10. Marvin the Martian

    Unnamed you say?

    I'd hazard the name is Connor. J. Connor.

    /don't need a coat on my shiny metal frame.

  11. Elmer Phud

    yeah but

    Anyone who has watched telly will know that to disable a Dalek you just drop a blanket over its optical sensor.

    Why waste rounds on the thing when even a poorly aimed duvet would blind it?

    1. LaeMing

      Blanket over the camera.

      couble of bricks under the axels.

      Nick the wheels.



  12. Mike Moyle

    "...the tooled-up, unclad homeowner..."

    If seeing Brillo coming in the door is what gets his tool up then I think he's probably got some serious personal issues to work through.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just another crack addict

    No news here just another crack addict. It would have been better if he just shot himself instead of wasting so many good bullets.

  14. tom 24


    "He racks the gun twice." When gun fanatics use this highly technical gun jargon like "rack", it totally leaves me behind. How do you rack a gun, and why would you do it twice?

    It doesn't look like the camera was hit, it looks like maybe its brightness auto adjusted after the muzzle flash. Or maybe it's one of those self-healing video cameras I've heard so much about lately.

    TV news. *sigh*

    1. LaeMing

      Since I know very little about guns.

      Without the visual cues, I might wonder if he put the gun on back window of his truck. Twice.

    2. Eddy Ito

      Once wasn't enough

      I don't know the reporter was a gun fanatic nor do I know "rack" is highly technical jargon but presumably the reporter meant he pulled the bolt back to load the first round into the chamber but failed and had to "rack" it again. Of course this means the gun was likely unloaded before Mr. Nude retrieved it and the TV crew did everything they could to make it sound more than it was.

      I will have to give the props to the reporter for describing it as an AK47 rifle and not, as Mr. Page has done, calling it an "assault rifle" which would require it to be select fire and the owner to have undergone a rather extensive approval process in order to make it legal. Since there was no mention of the nude guy being charged with illegally possessing a Title 2 firearm we can safely assume it was not an assault rifle and was functionally no different from a Winchester SXR or Remmington 750 and that it got its moniker based solely on the "it looks mean" basis.

      1. arkhangelsk

        While we are on meaningless nitpicks

        ... maybe we can debate as to whether it is still a AK47 if the automatic fire capability is not present. After all, AK stands for "Avtomat Kalashnikov".- the Avtomat meaning an automatic fire ability. If it is shafted, it is technically only Samozaryadnyj (self-loading), so it is only a "SK47".

        I won't even get to the point where many "AK47"s in the world are AKMs or somesuch :-)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        The post is required, and must contain letters.

        Thanks for clearing the debate about 'racks' and assault rifles up so clearly.

        it means that you (nor anybody else) will need to demonstrate to me (us?) your impressive knowledge about these topics again.


    3. Anonymous Coward

      Rack: V

      Rack: verb (firearms) - operating the loading mechanism of an autoloading or pump-action firearm to eject any spent round and introduce a new round into the firing chamber. This action will often cock the weapon's firing mechanism at the same time.

      Often done in movies to give the actor a reason to make a menacing sound. In real life, either the weapon was not ready to fire (marking the character as a moron if the situation had already progressed to the stage where a locked and loaded weapon was needed.), or the weapon was ready to fire, and the character has now wasted a perfectly good round by ejecting it unfired.

      Locked and loaded: Of a firearm, having a magazine of ammunition locked into place, and a live round loaded into the chamber. A weapon may be loaded but not locked (e.g. a semiautomatic handgun with a round in the chamber but no magazine present), locked but not loaded (a handgun with a magazine in place but no round chambered) or locked and loaded.

      The NRA life member jacket, please.

  15. Lord Lien

    ITV Version of Robocop quotes only....

    "You're gonna be one bad muthacrusher!"

  16. david 12 Silver badge

    Saved a life

    Or, they could have saved a life (and the damage to their toy), by just leaving him alone and not breaking into his house.

  17. Bill Fresher


    I'm stumped... what do the rules of etiquette say one should do when a robot enters one's home uninvited?

    I need to know in case I'm ever at home, naked, with my rifle about to shoot off.

    Does one stop and offer it some tea and crumpet?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    Obviously the designers of the CrapCop don't follow the exploits of the BOFH.

  19. ShaggyDoggy

    Big blob

    He must have something large to need such a big blob of pixellation to hide it.

  20. Jacob Lipman


    Why isn't this in ROTM? Clearly the bots are gaining confidence - the mechanical marauder was clearly intent on forcing that poor naked man to impregnate it, resulting in a hideous cyborg that would have spawned a whole new wave of violent human/robotic hybrids fanatically loyal to their robot overlords and intent on the subjugation of their fleshy cousins.

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