W**k-O-Meter If you're going to do something, do it properly. A fine creed, and just as applicable to playing the pink oboe as any other worthwhile hobby. Designed not only to tell you how well you are doing it and what effect it’s having, but also to encourage the development of your technique and make it a more pleasurable experience, …
This is exactly the sort of hands-on approach needed to finally settle that age-old question; just which nation is full of wankers ? Is there an iPhone version coming (as I would expect that the number of wankers would soar if so...) ?
Like the idea of the "encouraging" sounds.. but surely a picture would be more appropriate? You could have two, even - one of Halle Berry playing tennis perhaps for those racing towards the quick shufty, and another of Anne Widdecombe's ankle for those looking to extend their stamina... ?
Good to see it's free though, I wouldn't pay for such an app what with being so tight-fisted...
I was going to congratulate you on the work that went into your April fool joke, but unless you've gone to the trouble of registering an app on the market *and* somehow getting backdated comments on it, the app is real! lmao!
I'm still not brave enough to download it though!
Wrong euphemism I believe.
When playing the oboe you don't just have to put your hands on it, you also have to put one end in your mouth.
Which is sort of the point.
+1 for the fact that it's aimed at wankers and yet not being for the iPhone being a bit of a giveaway here....
I know! I scanned it too! Imagine my surprise to find there really is an app on the Android market, with comments going back a few days, so it's either genuine or someone has committed the sin of starting an April fool early, which is a no-no...
I just noticed they now give the Android and Amazon market links at the top of the review, but only the Android market one works.
If you really want a laugh visit the authors website, they have a real time update scrolling down! lmao!
I spoke the the developer's PR officer, April Fuller. She told me, and I quote, "she loves it".
She went to admit it's not for just any old wanker though, but this kind of "hands on experience is exactly what Web 2.0 is really about". Apparently there's also going to be a KPrice branded version which generates "encouraging, lifelike 3D images" as the screen moves.
Would be great if the hardware manufacturers could link this to a battery charging device to keep the green wankers happy.
Paris, because...well.....do I have to explain!?
And so, gentlemen, we turn our attention to the matter of bringing young Jenkins into the executive fold.
Mmmm...yes. Let's see, now. Masters degree, ran that division quite swimmingly, and, oh, oh my, he ranked a two?
We shall have nothing of young Mr Jenkins. Until one can yank a four, one is simply not obsessed enough with oneself to be considered our peer.
And so it is settled. Until Jenkins can master himself to the rank of four, he shall not be considered worthy of partaking in our self-pleasurement.
Very good. Now, gentlemen, form a circle, have your phone in-hand, and kindly reach to your right.
MMMMuuuuaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.... I say, Smith, that's quite a grip you've got, especially impressive palm strength for a CIO. Have you considered thumb wrestling, dear boy?
Ditch the accelerometers and use the capacitive sensor to measure area coverage, they're wipe clean aren't they? Could do with a nice picture of Natalie Imbruglio for encouragement. Will it run on an iPad?
The next gen phones with force measurement could also give you a report on your jiz momentum.
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