Bloke with hammer fixes London's Olympic clock

We're delighted to report that London's high-tech Olympic chronometer is once again counting down to the opening of next year's celebration of performance-enhancing drugs sporting excellence. The OMEGA London 2012 countdown clock clapped out yesterday less than 24 hours after it was switched on to a backdrop of fireworks, …

[Robert Hill]

An OMEGA?

I've always wanted to trade up my TAG for an Omega at some point...but after seeing how their Olympic clock isn't so Olympic, perhaps I'll just stay with my TAG...or trade up to a Timex!

[Code Monkey]

After this...

...losing your Omega will feel like an upgrade.

[Will Godfrey]

Sigh

What kind of world have we stumbled into when 'professionals' can't even design a reliable clock!

Also, when I did some work on information systems for a transport company, a requirement was that if anything at all went wrong with the kit the display should shut down - no information is better than wrong information.

P.S. That was 20 years ago!

[Dave Murray]

Refund

So has anyone asked Swatch for our money back?

[Andy Watt]

ERROR -- 201 -- 01 --

I see the Clock is running some kind of apache/SQL mishmash. Swatch should adopt closed-source approaches.

Seriously though, this obviously was tested, but NOT FOR 24 HOURS STRAIGHT.

Clueless c****.

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait...

You're saying it's running open source software? So, I should be able to browse on over to their website and request a copy of the code?

Let's hope it's not web connected eh?

*evil grin*

[The BigYin]

Why...

...in the name of buggery would you need Apache/MySQL for that? (Isn't "201" a stanard error code anyway, not related to the server?)

A couple of quid for a standard PCB (found in any washing machine, VCR...) and a few more quid for a display, done. Heck, they could have got a local tech college to make it and promoted UK training, skills and people.

Oh wait, the Olympics is about corporate shcmoozing not people. I forgot.

[Cazzo Enorme]

Swatch?

Cheap, plastic crap from Switzerland. Shame Britain hasn't got a decent clock maker anymore - Enfield went out of business years ago, and Smiths dumped their clock making division which then also went out of business.

[mhoulden]

British Clockmakers

If they wanted to go for a genuinely British company rather than a publicity-seeking Swiss one, there's always the Cumbria Clock Company (http://www.clockmaker.co.uk/). They maintain a lot of town hall clocks, not to mention that big one at Westminster. Obviously I'm not a customer, although the idea of installing a clock tower on the roof would be a tempting one if my landlord would let me.

[Shane Orahilly]

Or even J B Joyce of Whitchurch

Claimed (although contested by Thwaites & Reed) to be the oldest continuing clock manufacturer in the world, and based in Shropshire, the home of the Modern Olympics (Even if they did decide to commemorate this by creating an animated penis of a mascot) . Far more appropriate than a piece of cheap foreign junk.

[Colin Brett]

Disappointed!

I had expected a Playmobil reconstruction.

[Will's]

Start, Hammer time

couldn't resist

[Elmer Phud]

posts like that

Can't touch 'em.

[Will's]

Bloke with the batteries:

I've got the power

[Anonymous Coward]

The Three Laws of Mechanics.

1) Always use the right tool for the job.

2) A hammer is always the right tool for the job.

3) Any tool can be used as a hammer.

[Anonymous Coward]

RE: The Three Laws of Mechanics

When in doubt, give it a clout. And if it breaks? Well, it was broken before, wasn't it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Bloke with 'an 'ammer

Good old percussive maintenance, works every time.

[Anonymous Coward]

precussive maintenance

As they say, when the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a thumb

[Anonymous Coward]

Hammer....

Otherwise known as a Glasgow Screwdriver

[Spot the Cat]

re Hammer

Birmingham screwdriver, shirley?

[Mike48US]

what title

If it doesn't work, hit it with a hammer...

If it still doesn't work...get a bigger hammer!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: An OMEGA?

Clock is Swatch, we're just in that situation where something is made by one company but has another company's name on it for sponsorship reasons - happens a lot with sports, pro cyclists will ride a bike made by one company as they prefer it, but for sponsorship reasons it'll have their sponsor bike company's name all over it as if it were made by them.

[Anonymous Coward]

WTF?

Really? :( Meh and there I was thinking I couldn't get more cynical....

[TeeCee]

Re: Re: An OMEGA?

They should sack their marketing dweebs then.

Right way: Write on it: "Sponsored by OMEGA", so when it goes titsup everyone knows it's not your fault.

EPIC FAIL way: Badge it as yours, so when it goes titsup everyone thinks your product's shit.

[Adrian Challinor]

I bet Omega is really pleased

Or is this an evil plot by Swatch to muddy Omega's good name?

I wonder who is doing the timing for the men's 100m? Could we trust we time recorded?

"And the Swatch time for Usain Bolt is 200 days, 10 hours and 31 sec... sorry thats SQL error 201 - 01. Here's one for question of sport!"

Paris, because she doesn't need a watch for a good time, but anyone can watch her have a good time.

[caffeine addict]

letters and/or digits.

Omega is owned by Swatch.

[Anonymous Coward]

apprenticeships ?

Is this one of the apprenticeships that the radio adverts keeping banging on about in action?

Wonder if there’s a lot of demand for massive clock repairs?

Certainly took their TIME about fixing it!

I know I know I'll get my coat.

[Anonymous Coward]

I was just wondering

if the yellow boards and red/white placcy tape is a permanent part of the installation..?

Wouldn't be at all surprised.

[Big_Boomer]

Countdown

If I was there instead of John Oates I would have been loudly humming the Countdown theme. :-)

[Ian Ferguson]

Life imitating art

The question is, is the clock counting DOWN backwards to the Olmypics, or counting up FORWARDS to the Omlypics?

(Watch the excellent comedy Twenty Twelve on BBC4 to see what else is likely to happen...)

[Anonymous Coward]

As me mom-in-law is fond of saying

Every problem can be solved with a hammer. The bigger the problem, the bigger the hammer.

[Piro]

They still need to re-think that logo

Because all I can see is a certain cartoon character performing a lewd act.

[Mr Young]

I agree - that 2012 logo really is something else!

It seems to be totally beyond my comprehension! It maybe sort of looks like a piece of cat puke or something?

[Anonymous Coward]

certain cartoon character performing a lewd act.

Still haven't found a link to that drawn up properly..just so that people can see what were always on about... mind you it is probably illeagles, under some prohibited use of a pencil law...

[Bilgepipe]

Try this

Try this, dudes...

http://www.emnnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/olympis-logo.jpg

Pretty much explains it.

[ShaggyDoggy]

5 digits

Why, in all that's sane, do they have a CUSTOM-MADE clock for a 500 day count, that has 5 DIGITS for the day number.

WTF ^googol

[LaeMing]

Dummy!

It is so they can charge us for them.

[The Fuzzy Wotnot]

Yeah! Yeah! We're number one!!! UK rules!

#1 for childhood asthma!

#1 for childhood obesity!

#1 for heart-disease!

#1 for mending complex gadgets with f**k-off big tools!

#1 for taking a relatively simple thing like running a major sporting event and turning it into a major cock-up of Benny Hill proportions!

Sod the sports, I can't wait to see what the organisers will get up to next!

[Anonymous Coward]

I think your on to something

Benny Hill Olympic events.

I might even watch them!

[I Like Heckling]

It's true

I did an engineering apprenticeship when I left school... and one of the priceless bits of information that was offered was.

'If the spanner doesn't fit... get a bigger hammer'

It's as true today as it was then.

[Ivan Headache]

Well,

it's not a British timer so we can't be blamed for this clock-up!

[spiny norman]

Big Clock 101

Don't go to Aldi for the batteries.

[stucs201]

Lets hope the actual race timing clocks are more reliable.

I'm not too sure the marathon runners would be too please if the official at the finish line told them, "Sorry lads, bit of a cock-up with the timing, can you do another lap?".

[Graham Bartlett]

AC, Benny Hill Olympics

I look forward to all male runners being pursued by a dozen topless women to the tune of Yakety Sax. And you might as well run it on fast-forward so that you can see more events in the same time. Winner all round, I reckon.

[Mark Fenton]

@Piro re logo...

..yup, once you've envisaged young Ms Simpson on her knees, that is all you can see.

Paris...obviously!

[Valerion]

Was he pissed?

Looks like the 2nd picture was taken whilst falling down.

[Anonymous Coward]

re. Was he pissed?

Nah; probably got tased by the plod 'coz he was using a camera in London (which, as all pollicemen know, is a potential terrorist target, so it's illegal to photograph it).

[LaeMing]

He's a Reg reporter

That should be enough to answer the question!

[A. Lewis]

Hang on a mo...

Bloke fixing things with hammer, youthful assistant standing by? Surely it's the BOFH! I smell a plot here. Watch out for broken lifts!

[Ian Nichol]

too expert for yellow jacketage

Someone call health and safety, the main clock guru is not wearing regulation dayglo, someone might walk into him!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

but but...

he has the barriers up with the stripy tape!

I always wonder why such a little thing as a bloke with a hammer would require so much elf n safety.

[Matt Hawkins]

Let's Snuff The Olympic Flame

How is it we can't even get a digital clock to work these days? How much of our money was spent on something that most people could build themselves with bits from Maplin?

Why are they using Apache/SQL when all they needed was a £1.99 digital watch?

Just another bit of the rather expensive white elephant that is the Olympic Games. If people want to watch some people running round a track then fine. But please make the ticket price reflect the true cost of organising the whole thing.

Haven't we got better things to spend our tax money on?

[Anonymous Coward]

Only in Britain

Would we win the bid to host the Olympics, right in the middle of a global financial meltdown, host it in the shit-hole of London where everywhere is still being built and the place is already full and over-priced, and then have a clock to countdown break day 1.

Welcome to the arsehole of the world.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Only in Britain

Oh, *do* fuck off.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Welcome to the arsehole of the world."

Were you looking in the mirror when you typed that.

[John Goodwin 4]

A frank admission, straight from the horse's mouth

I admit I was bored yesterday, and wrote to Swatch Group asking why their clock was crap.

Dear Mr. Goodwin,

Thank you for your message of yesterday evening.

Yes, it is embarrassing, especially as we are the timekeeper of almost all the Olympic Games since 1936 and have proven time after time how accurate we are. But mistakes happen.

The important thing is that we fixed it.

Best wishes from Switzerland,

Béatrice Howald

Head of Media Relations, Spokesperson

The Swatch Group Ltd.

Seevorstadt 6

CH-2501 Biel/Bienne

[Anonymous Coward]

OMFG

You've been "goodwinned".

[Andrew Jones 2]

re: overcomplicated?

I still don't understand this - and I reckon we should demand a detailed technical explanation as to what exactly happened we did after all pay for the bloody thing / will pay for the bloody thing.

As a programmer I can only see 2 things that could of gone wrong.

1) it crashed.... Christ knows why it would - but it could of.

2) the function that stops the clock from counting down when it reaches 0 so we don't see negative numbers has a glitch / misplaced comma / alcohol induced lazy arsed coding error.

I would however like to know WHY the clock stopped and what they have done to stop it from doing so in future.

I'd also quite like to know what the point of it is in the first place too - but I guess we won't get a satisfactory answer to that one. They will probably say something like "it is to remind you" yeah - because with the amount of news it will be taking up in the coming months - it will be SO easy to forget.

[Christoph]

Did they get the clock from NASA?

Every so often it stops counting down and goes into a built-in hold.

[Equitas]

Omega service .................

must be provided by the manufacturer. Hope they did that one under warranty!

[John 62]

countdown to when?

They couldn't decide if they should have done the countdown to 2012 or 2013

[Anonymous Coward]

Swatched?

I thought it said Snatched....as in victory from the jaws of de feet. Although I didn't know de feet had jaws. I'll go have a lie-down now.

[Anonymous Coward]

While we're at it

Can they add a counter for counting up the cock-ups 'til opening day? I think 5 digits should suffice...

[Martin Usher]

Shouldn't it be flashing "12:00"?

It would be so fitting....

[Mips]

Press the Reset!

Plenty of opportunity to comment here:

"next year's celebration of performance-enhancing drugs sporting excellence." Yeh. That's what the clock needs: enhanced performance. Hur. Hur.

"developed by our experts and fully tested", as a Swatch spokesman put it. But will you ever get it on your wrist?

[Flat Phillip]

2012 logo

Why does it have a stylised australia in the top right corner? The blob with the rings on it sure looks like to me. Tassie's a bit of a worry though.

[Chika]

A man with a hammer and his youthful sidekick?

BOFH and PFY? Surely not!

[ShaggyDoggy]

5 digits !!

I've figured out (groan) why a 500 day counter has 5 digits.

It doesn't go to zero, it goes to a display of "TODAY"