back to article Kentucky man denies drunk driving, blames blow job

A Kentucky man who was arrested for DUI has said his erratic driving was less to do with alcohol and more to do with the oral sex he was receiving from his passenger at the time. Jason Kircher was pulled over by cops after being clocked at 66mph in a 55 mph zone on Interstate 64, the Courier Journal reports. An officer …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Looks like he enjoyed it...

    but assuming his partner has been equally blessed in the looks department, I'm surprised he wasn't charged with bestiality....

    1. Mark 65

      @AC

      It's ok, it was probably his sister.

      1. Chris Seiter
        Happy

        keeping it in the family

        Incest is best, put your sister to the test; nuthin's says luvin' like a cousin!

        "Your sister's hot!" "She's your sister too!"

        We play the dulcimer with our toes

        It's called a toothbrush because we only have one tooth (between the three of us)

        I'm about as far north in Kentucky without being in Ohio so I've heard them all. This doesn't shock me one bit.

  2. David Precious
    IT Angle

    0.54% would be pretty drunk...

    I think you mean 0.054% :)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    "This doesn't appear to have gone down well with the cops"

    Odd that, don't you think? Maybe they were just jelous or something.

    Also, folllowed the link - that IS a rather manic grin he's wearing there!

  4. sandman
    Pint

    It's Friday!

    Proper Reg Friday news story!

  5. hplasm
    Go

    That picture-

    Isn't he on The Simpsons? I'm surprised he didn't get off with the ;don't you know who I am?' defense.

    Still, it doesn't say whether he did get off....before he was stopped.

  6. GettinSadda
    WTF?

    "possession of an open alcoholic container"

    Charge with WHAT???

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Boffin

      In many US states

      ... it's an offense to have an open can, or bottle of booze, irrespective of who was drinking it.

      ISTR in Louisiana (?) it was illegal to have alcoholic beverages in the cabin of the car - they had to go in the trunk, or the bed of the pickup. That's one of the reasons the cops shine their torches into the car when the pull someone, apart from the obvious check for a hidden passenger or firearm.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Welcome to the united states of America

      In most of the USA it is illegal to:

      1. Have an open container with alcohol outside private premises. An open bottle in your car is actually an offence.

      2. You are not allowed to drink until the age of 21. Been busted for that one by the way. Cost me 200£ and a one week conditional discharge subject to mandatory attendance of an alcohol awareness course. The only reason I did not go do jail time was because the judge just came back from a holiday to Europe.

      3. You must supply a valid ID to buy alcohol. Most shops will not bother checking if you look old enough, but the law says that they should.

      Land of the free...

      1. Steve X
        FAIL

        over-21 check

        I got asked for ID in the US a few years back when I ordered wine in a restaurant. I was ~45 at the time. Still not sure if I should have been flattered, or if the waiter really needed a Specsavers trip...

      2. JC 2
        Alert

        @ Welcome to the united states of America

        To add to that, in some states even if it is legal to have a closed container of alcohol in your vehicle, it can still be considered illegal if it is not factory sealed, for example a screw top container which has been opened previously - and then closed again, one that was closed when officers found it! Same applies for a corked bottle of wine apparently.

      3. Allan George Dyer
        Coat

        Alochol awareness course?

        When you were obviously already aware of alcohol. Madness.

        Yep, the one with heavy pockets.

  7. Simon 79
    Stop

    With a smile like that...

    ... he must be telling the truth!

    Stop sign because that's what he wasn't saying.

  8. jake Silver badge

    At least Jessica Talarovich, 31, of Louisville has an excuse ...

    "Hey, I was dronk!"

    Apparently it's not only the girls who look prettier at closing-time ...

  9. JDX Gold badge
    IT Angle

    UM

    Exactly how and why did this get sucked up by The Register? There are hundreds of news stories about dumb hicks every day, why does this one get lucky?

    1. genome
      Happy

      could be because

      could be because they were sitting in the office laughing at it and decided to share

  10. CmdrX3
    Pint

    Yup, without a doubt...

    Looking at the grin on that fuckers face, it was definitely the blow job.

    Paris because...... Do I really need to explain.

    1. ratfox
      Pint

      You do need to explain

      Is there a beer called Paris now?

    2. Urh
      Coat

      Re: Yup, without a doubt...

      Actually, I would use the fact that he tried pinning it all on a blow job (indecent exposure plus reckless driving) to argue that he was indeed drunk. If not drunk, then under the influence of an illicit substance. Because let's face it, you have to be in a fairly altered state of mind to think that a policeman is going to buy such an outrageous explanation.

      Mine's the one with the half-empty bottle of Beck's in the pocket.

  11. Frostbite
    Joke

    ooooh err

    The police officer suspected him doing 69 in the 55 zone too

    1. Far Canal
      Grenade

      It was ....

      It was a 68 actually - blow me now and I'll owe you one.

  12. Dances With Sheep
    Go

    Call the Guinness Book of Records

    I reckon that dude has the worlds longest neck...... check out the pics :-)

    1. Elmer Phud

      Son of . .

      The neck that becomes the head without any transition - he can only be Son of Beaker.

      Will his passenger be going down?

  13. David Haig
    Alert

    Did anyone see ...

    .. the link at the bottom of the original article 'Girl, 12, charged with assaulting JCPS bus driver'

    More Americana for El Reg!

    1. asdf
      Flame

      dont throw stones glass houses all that crap

      What you all don't have low life female chavs in the UK? Trailer trash has many different names in different areas but its all the same (Lol except Bubbles and the Boys in Canuk land).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Happy

        I guess that guy

        will thank you for standing up for him

        or dyou fancy his bird?

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    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. Allan George Dyer
    Pint

    doesn't

    "driving without due care and attention" cover it?

  16. wayne 8
    Pint

    speaking of chavs

    Stella Artois is being promoted to the USA TV audience as a romantic upscale beverage. No wife beater shirts to be seen.

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