One optimus maximus this way please :)
A California man has reportedly suffered a gruesome demise after an accident involving a metal-enhanced cock. José Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, California, a spectator at a cockfight who had previously been fined for owning or training an animal for fighting, died after being stabbed in the leg in Tulare County, the Grauniad …
Given that it was is calf that was stabbed (not his thigh), and that he died two days later, he almost certainly died of a wound infection. Remember folks this is what can happen if you don't wash your cock regularly.
Given that you used the boffin icon, I can't resist pointing out that it's femoral, not femeral, artery.
He died two hours after sustaining injury, not two days. So, some kind of complication was a factor here, but I doubt the infection. Embolia, maybe? Severe maltreatment of the wounded calf, resulting in increased blood loss?
Or, for the thrill seekers... Poison on the cock blade?
Still, I admit that the opportunity to raise awareness about cock washing should not be missed...
When deploying the Grammar Nazi alert, one should re-read the original article, any comments to which one is replying and one's own text before posting - just in case one inadvertently shows one's self up. Case in point: you have come to an entirely unlikely conclusion (albeit providing a good hook for a pun) because you did not pay attention to the period of time between wounding and death.
Two HOURS, not days.
Probably the posterior tibial artery, if severed you'll bleed to death without a tourniquet (in fact bending the knee and applying pressure could save you), bleeding out is just not as fast as the femoral, the femoral artery is also notoriously fiddly to stop bleeding with pressure (and astoundingly painful).
In an attempt to get a breast of the situation, the arrival of the police ruffled feathers as the previously plucky illegal fighters fled the nest. The egg-ascerbated spectator who had suffered foul play as a result of an over agitated cock, claimed with his dying breath that he had nothing to do with it; he had only wanted to have a plucking good time and thought the invite said, "hen night". Police told him to stop pulling their legs. Suspects have been rounded up and are expected to get a good roasting; for now, they're all rib-caged.
Is it possible to construe that the police conducted their investigation THEN had the repeat offender taken for medical attention. Justice at its very best. Is it possible the fatality can be regarded as work place accident or suicide with an unusual weapon of choice. I like the thought of man being nailed by his own cock...
.......so that those in the audience for these events died at least a frequently when they watch as the poor bloody animals do we would discover that these "sports" would die a natural death. One can always hope.
I like the first one.
* Assange fights extradition in court (7 February 2011)
* Man killed by own cock (21 January 2011)
* Distressed cock whipped out of wheelie bin (7 October 2010)
* Drunken German joyrider totals 300 chickens (13 August 2007)
* Foghorn McLeghorn threatened with Asbo (8 September 2006)
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