BOFH: There's no 'I' in team, but there's a 'u' in suck “Team Conference!” the Boss chips quickly in the door of Mission Control before moving on to other offices. “Welcome ... to ... THE MACHINE!” I murmur to the PFY. “Say what now?” the PFY asks. “The Machine. Like in Princess Bride. You’ll notice how management’s been conspicuously quiet over the past couple of weeks?” “I …
The dull and somewhat listlessness Fridays are at very long end. Excellent form sir!
However, can you account for the lack of content from back in December sometime? were you in fact abducted by aliens, did a drawing of the PFY come to life in some form of Fantasia-esq event and spring a surprise attack on your very person...
Enquiring minds MUST know!
Off and running, into bookshelves, coffee mugs, dishwashers..
Hmm I'm thinking it's been a quiet month as maybe the BOFH hasn't had any major issues to deal with as management has been away you know how they do like to take extended time off to recover after the last episode.
Should it not be if it's got a PS/2 / USB / RJ45 / RJ11 / VGA / DVI port it's IT else it's not, that thus doesn't cover the bosses big HD TV unless it's a computer monitor, the kettle in the staff canteen, the photocopier unless it's a network printer to ...
... but the little problemette is getting the TV companies interested.
I have completed a series of six one-hour episodes and I'm currently trying to sell them. As I'm not Nathan Barley, it's taking a while.
If anyone out there works for a TV company, and is in a position to lock a script editor into the tape safe until they sign on the line, then get in touch! :-)
If the boss ever lasted long enough to learn from his mistakes, or if the higher-ups on the corporate ladder were a little higher up on the evolutionary ladder, someone would eventually decide that the BOFH and PFY really need an extra £10,000 a year expense account for safety-related items. For instance, six beers at each lunchtime would prevent users from annoying them, thus reducing user fatalities. It's a small price to pay!
Also, the company safety manuals should be rewritten. The #1 rule of computing is DON'T HASSLE THE BOFH. It should be written in 36pt type on page 1 of the safety manual. And in 18pt type at the bottom of every other page.
Wake up, Cold shower, No hot water
Drive two hours to site, Realise left vital piece of equipment back in office
Manage to cobble together kit to get job done without client noticing
Complete an 18hr day
Get home & a new BOFH is waiting! There really is a God :)
That sounds like it's gotta smart.
I wonder, though... Will they ever, eventually, hire a boss who's savvy enough to realize that his only course for continued employment is to let Simon and the PFY - and their precious budget - be in peace?
What the heck kind of a story would that make? None, of course! The Bastard is Back! ^_^ I can't believe I've been reading for a year now.
Shouldn't they have chain-sawed the offending shelves down to size, ignoring the stacked contents and thereby shredding them as well. Then tossed the air-con out of a closed widow thus creating air-con and offered whingy bloke a bottle of wash up liquid and a scouring pad, docked out of his wages, to set him up in his new franchise?
But oh, what perfect timing - just this morning I received a huggy feely e-mail from H&S central about how they've been looking in to exciting ways to communicate their vision and emphasise that we're all in this together and everyone needs to be engaged.
Their grand idea? Yet another poster campaign... and the poster is bright pink with a 'zero tolerance to accidents' theme and a blank space to insert appropriate local messages and photographs to *really* encourage team engagement!
Well, I addressed the engagement part easily by logging out of the phone system. That just leaves the poster insertions to take care of...
;)
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