back to article Wrinkle-faced smartphoners demand 'BlackBerry Botox'

Those of you who feel in need of a further bit of evidence that western society is going to frikkin' hell in a handcart are directed to the shock revelation that "young women are developing premature wrinkles from staring at their smartphones all day". That's according to Botoxmonger to the rich and famous, Dr Jean-Louis …


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  1. nickrw


    Having to squint? Definitely the wrinkles that you need to worry about, not seeing an optician.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      "BlackBerry Botox"

      Invent something, give it a name and watch the rich and gullible roll up.

  2. Josco

    Cindy Crowsfeet Crawford

    Priceless. Good one.

  3. Syed
    Thumb Up

    Where to put it?

    "The Standard concludes by mentioning BlackBerry thumb ... but fails to recommend an expensive private medical cure for the problem."

    I know a good place where they can stick their thumb... (hence the icon).

  4. Anonymous Coward

    Squinting? Really?

    London beauty therapist Nichola Joss .. said: "I've noticed a huge difference over the past 18 months in my clients' faces ..."

    That wouldn't be the same 18 months which have seen a huge economic downturn would it? A downturn which has lead to more stress and longer working hours? Are these not factors which would lead to less radiant looking individuals?

    I'm sure there's a saying about correlation vs causation, but that Google search box is all the way up at the top of my screen....

    1. Captain DaFt

      "Confident women aren't customers"

      The mantra in the title above is the battle cry of every cosmetic/(company)(surgeon)(outlet) and fashion maven.

      So they're constantly finding new ways to tear down confidence/self esteem in their potential customer base via ads and releases like this, to keep the sheep flocking in to buy the wares that are advertised to alleviate the loss.

      OK. I'm finished ranting now.

  5. DP 1

    My beautiful face!

    "This phenomenon is not unusual with women living in London and the South-East. It can be seen on anyone who has and regularly checks a BlackBerry or iPhone."

    Phew, I'll be ok as I have a Sony Ericsson!

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Just as well

      with an SE they wouldn't even let you in the front door.

  6. Wheaty73

    Use a bigger font and visit the optician!

    FFS, it's not hard... Cheaper than a trip to the poison doctor!

    1. Kool-Aid drinker
      Thumb Up


      Couldn't agree more. Anyone who cannot read the text on a smartphone without squinting needs glasses in a hurry.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    Fank Gud I liv Up Norf!

    The Young Ladies up here are too fat to have wrinkles!

  8. JaitcH

    Jobs has a patent for this

    The new App, still being developed, uses a special algorithm derived from Picassa, that softens the focus of the camera and reduces the tonal range so that dark areas in lines, usually representing a wrinkle, are reduced or eliminated.

    Another feature will enable hair tones to remain the same thereby allowing the elimination of grey hair.

  9. Keith T

    So it is not just us over 50s hating the available smart phones

    So it is not just us over 50s hating the available smart phones.

    Please give us phones we can use without putting on our reading glasses. That is, high contrast low glare keys with maximum font size for the key, and the biggest screens that will fit on the device.

    So long as it will fit in a breast pocket, the device is not too big.

  10. Glenn Charles


    I was very near rolling on the floor laughing--literally.


  11. Banther dodo

    What they need is a T12

    As featured here:

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